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You are afraid to face truth! And it's a legit fear! This is why.. ..If you trace your way back to God/nothingness, you will realise how profound and perfect everything is. Everything is complete. There is just an overflow of love, bliss, love, peace and beauty. There is nothing to do and nothing to become. There is no goal what so ever, you already are the goal. Now, because of this overflow of positive emotions, God transcend itself so speak and arise if a form of a body-mind. A mind is a derivative of God one can say. The best thing a mind can do is to let it sink back and dissolve itself into to pure awareness/God again. Which is what happened when the mind is stripped of its limitations. Awareness plus a certain set of limitations makes up your mind, there is literary NOTHING more to it. Your mind has many hopes though, many things it will accomplish, you have 20+ years of indoctrination into that mind of yours. Of course, that will be frightened to realise that the only thing worth doing is to dissolve itself back to nothingness again. Life(ego) is great, but even greater, MUCH greater is no life at all. No one is dying here, only the wrong idea that the the mind of yours is something other then limitations of what you really are. Since awareness is infinite, that's what we really are. It can limiting itself to "your" particular mind or "my" particular mind. Your fear is the fear from "your" ego, which is nothing but an imaginary unit.

I have always been very spiritual without even knowing about spiritual communities, enlightenment, gurus and such. I have no conceptual knowledge. But I always felt life is mysterious and magical. I often feel existential bliss. I feel deep connection with existential matters beyond what words describe. However, words and conceptual knowledge doesn't hurt. And now as a father I like to consume some teaching, since I don't want them to be bohemians yet not too adopted to mainstream society with all its toxic priorities and conventional way of living. But I find it hard to find a spiritual teacher that has children and therefore firsthand experience of upbringing. Leo has told us he has no children(yet) and Osho, Sadhguru, Tolle, Adyashanti and Mooji... none of them have have their own families, right ? Is there any teacher/guru that is a father? Might be a stupid question, but I am novice and all of this talk about "infinity" and "pure consciousness" doesn't appeal to me. Maybe later if I continue with teachings. As for now, I would love some pragmatic teachings for helping me out family wise. Thanks!

@Faceless By "bliss", I refer to good/enjoyable subjective experience — the opposite of suffering.

What do you mean when you use this word bliss?

Let me ask you, @Leo Gura: Is there a difference between an existence full of suffering and an existence full of bliss? Are both equally good/bad because they are truly nothing, as you so claim?

In his latest video, Leo said the goal is to be in no-mind for most of the day. But Sri Sri Ravi Shankar said that he usually spends days and weeks on end without a single thought. He has remained in a constant state of ecstasy and bliss for 10 or 15 years. He sleeps less than 3 hours a day, because he controls his energies so well. He understands ‘truth’ 100%. He said that if he wanted, he could sit in one seat and stay there for the rest of his life, of course with his biological needs being provided. Compare that with what Leo has as a self actualized vision. It’s nowhere near.

The Painting by Adam M There is a painting so big that you can't see the edges if you stand closely enough. It was painted by the most masterful painters who have ever lived. DaVinci worked on it, Michaelangelo worked on it, Picasso. The painting contains the most beautiful trees, roads, rivers, boats, and animals. It is so magnificent that it has the power to make you laugh and cry and want to scream at the top of your lungs. You can feel the love and attention to detail that went into the painting if you look at it with enough care. All you have to do is look at the painting with great concentration and attention, and you will be rewarded with splendid revelations that fill up your heart with love and your mind with all the answers to all the questions that you never even knew you had. There was a young boy who had looked at the painting as often as he could. He felt as if he had been looking at the painting since the day he was born and he loved to marvel at its beauty and its mystery. He loved the painting so much that his favourite parts of the painting had etched themselves into his young mind and he would think about them often. As he looked at the painting every day, he was amazed at how vast it was and how it must have taken a very long time to paint. He would discover new areas of the painting that he had never seen before and he would feel a pure sense of wonder and awe whenever he explored the vast painting with his eyes and his imagination. As the boy got older, he wanted to learn everything there was to know about the painting so he asked his parents to buy him books that would teach him about the history of the painting, who painted it, and why it was painted. He spent so much time learning about the painting that sometimes he forgot to look at it. Now, when he looked at the painting, he saw within it all the things that he had learned about it. The boy would always talk with his parents about how much he loved the painting. He told his Dad all of the amazing things that he had learned about the painting and he convinced him to sit and look at the painting with him. As the boy's father looked at the painting, he felt a spark within him that could have rekindled an old flame if the wood had not been neglected and dampened. "I love looking at this painting with you, son," said the Dad, "I used to look at it too when I was your age. But I cannot help but feel that I am wasting my valuable time just sitting here and staring at the same painting that I know so well. I know that you love it, but I am a very busy man and I have lots of work do to." "Dad!" exclaimed the boy, trying to hold his father's fleeting attention, "everything you could ever need is already within the painting! All you have to do is have faith that you will find it if you just look closer." "I do have faith, son." said the Dad, "but I cannot help but feel restless when I stare at this painting for so long…My mind is used to moving quickly and it is difficult for me to look at it for so long, especially when you are not around to remind me of the painting's hidden beauty." The boy sighed, they had had this talk many times before and he knew that it was no use trying to convince his Dad to invest so much time and energy to reap the rewards that the painting would inevitably give him if he stared at it for long enough. "You see son, I have a voice in my head that does everything in its power to remind me of all the other impotant things that I could be doing instead of wasting my days gazing at this pointless painting. I only have so many years left and I don't want to see them go to waste! Now, I'm sure that this painting contains many deep secrets, like you tell me all the time, but I must finish my work so that I can begin packing for our family vacation." The boy's father left and that was that. The boy was sad that his father would never appreciate the beauty of the painting in the same way that he did. The boy spent all of his time bathing in the glory of this magnificent painting and the more closely he paid attention to the painting, the more divine love filled the boy's heart and soul, the more he wished that he could share the love with his father. Sometimes, the boy would get distracted by other things and he would forget about the painting for hours and sometimes days at a time. He noticed that the more time he spent away from the painting, the more things seemed to go wrong in his life. The voice in the boy's head had gotten more clever and more convincing as he got older. The voice would try to tell him that he had outgrown the painting and that he did not need to think about it anymore so that he could focus on the more important things in life. The boy had not thought about the painting for an entire year and he could not have been more miserable. He was buried up to his ears in work and he felt that he had no time left to do the things that he truly wanted to do. He felt depressed and he wished that things could be different. Then, on his way home from work, the boy saw a small, framed painting in the window of an antique shop and it reminded him of the immense beauty of the painting that he had forgotten. All of the boy's childhood memories suddenly rushed back to him and filled him with inspiration to quit his job and devote all of his time to studying the divine painting from his childhood. He sat in front of it for days and sometimes he forgot to eat because he was so enthralled by the painting's mysteries that he had yet to discover. Slowly, a sense of joy had returned to fill the boy's heart that his work had drained out of him. The voice in the boy's head fabricated one thousand and one reasons why the boy should stop looking at the painting. The voice showed him visions of poor and dirty men sleeping on the street because they had ignored their important work. The voice tempted the boy with false promises of true love and pleasure that the boy just couldn't get by sitting and looking at the painting. It even told the boy that his father would be disappointed in him if he wasted his entire life looking at the "pointless" painting. Luckily, the boy would not make the same mistake twice and he would not be seduced by of the voice's empty promises nor would he be scared by its empty threats. The boy already knew what he had to do. He had to sit and observe. He had to observe the painting in an attempt to comprehend its full glory. It was a difficult task since the painting was so vast and detailed. The voice tried to make the boy doubt himself by reminding him how the painting is too complex for one little mind to understand. But still, the boy sat, unmoved. And he observed. The shapes in the painting subtly began to blur together. The trees would blend into the ground just as the ground blended into the sky. The boy noticed that the tree was not really a tree…it was just paint, but the voice called it a tree in an effort to distract the boy from the Truth. But the boy could no longer see the tree as a tree, he just saw it as paint because that's what it was, just like every other object in the painting. That's when the boy looked at his hands and noticed something very peculiar about them. They were made of the same thing that the trees were made of…paint. The voice cried out in agony and harnessed all of its convincing power in a desperate attempt to distract the boy. But the boy was not listening to the voice because he already knew what it was…paint. And just like that the voice was gone and so was the painting and so was the boy; the only thing that was left was the paint. The paint was always there and always will be there. Everything that ever existed, exists, and will exist was, is, and always will be made of the paint. Even DaVinci, Michaelangelo, and Picasso are made of the paint. You may ask, why is there any paint at all? There isn't. You see, when literally everything is just paint there is no paint. And that's the way it always was and always will be. . . . The boy continued to sit in the painting just as he had his entire life, but now, we was fully concious of it. It felt very natural and he knew that it couldn't be any other way. The reason why he had been so mesmerized by the painting from such a young age was because the painting would never stay the same. Unlike every other painting, this painting was contantly moving and changing, the only thing that stayed the same was the paint. The boy was now free to enjoy the rest of his passing life without any worry or fear of death. He knew that his body was just paint and that it would eventually blend into the rest of the painting just like everything else. Everything just felt…right. As he sat there in bliss, he became concious of a burning desire within him to share his discovery with his father. The boy knew that his father wouldn't believe him. How could he? "Hey Dad! Everything is made of paint!" His Dad would laugh at him. The boy sat there and began to think of some clever ways that he could tell his Dad about his discovery that had always been true. Perhaps he would use a metaphor or something… The end. I hope you liked it! What do you think?

@solr The awareness / consciousness / love increases as the self deception (believing the illusion is actual reality, and that you are a separate being) decreases. The shocker is that there is only bliss. That’s it. All else is self deception / devilry. Look at your hand - see it - that’s literally because you’re fooling yourself. It’s not actually there. The most convincing aspects of the illusion are thinking it’self, and specifically, thinking one is a separate self, and pain (imo). The root of all suffering, is self deception. This is why Leo always stresses the importance of an open mind, and a genuine attitude of ‘there’s always more’, and an open heart. Imo, it’s the most intricate process imaginable, and then the rest, the larger part, is unimaginable until it’s experienced / accomplished. I try not to fault or judge anyone who claims their own situation of reality could not possibly be outside of what they have experienced combined with the capacity of their imagination. Admittedly, at first glance, it sounds absurd. That’s why it is so difficult, and take enormous commitment.

The present moment is that fresh untouched by others space where you can let go of past and future and bathe in the current of bliss.lol

You forget to realize that everything good that has ever happened in your life, every positive emotion, every feeling of joy, every inch of love you've felt was ALSO created by you. doesn't that show you how powerful and meaningful your "egoic constructs, fabrications and lies" can be? That means you literally have the ability to bliss out like a yogi for no reason whatsoever. The issue is your subconscious doesn't know it yet.

First of all, planning is a good thing, we all agree on that I believe! Without it - No Leo youtube episodes every Sunday morning! However, if you aim for a fully enlightened consciousness, what will that do with your planning abilities? After all, enlightenment is about the NOW, it's about peace and fully accept what is. Love, bliss and beauty! Pure Enlightenment is a total absence of any manipulation, you are guided by intuition, not by your mind. So, is there anything like a "good" manipulation? Planning as well as other intellectual activities are manipulations(Even if it has a good purpose). And also, what about "becoming". Life purpose is about "becoming something". Becoming also involve manipulation, at least manipulation of yourself. There seem to be a conflict here?

All the things I thought I wanted turned out to be empty and in the process of getting it, I realized I didn't really need it or even want it. My desires exhausted themselves and here I am not wanting. True not wanting. I don't want to be perceived as special or as an inspiration. I don't want to have a different life. I don't want to be anyone else. I don't want to escape this limited form. I don't want a different destiny. I want this one. I want this pain and all these problems. I want this society I don't belong in. I want this boredom and emptiness. I want the feeling of not being good enough. I want all my imperfections and traumas. I want everything I didn't want. I want everything I denied. It's not real 'wanting' it's a more so complete yes to everything. Prior to this, my innermost desire was to escape this particular life, this character Danielle. Spirituality was like the perfect way to escape myself and my life while telling myself I was facing it. I just switched between distractions, before it was 3 hours of watching Shameless and after it was 3 hours of listening to Mooji or whoever. I actually thought I would gain something by listening to them, what?! The whole idea just seems absurd to me now. Sure, they can guide you out of dead ends and bring clearity, but they can't give you anything. Not really. All these spiritual ideas were just lies on top of lies on top of lies. Truth takes care of it anyway, my complex blabla isn't necessary. There is just a silent yes present here. The tension in my body has decreased and I've been entrenched in bliss followed by hysterical laughter. I don't know how long this will last so I might as well say it now when it's true. Give me all the pain! Give me all the suffering that ever existed. Swallow me alive, I don't care. I'll say yes no matter what. There is an just an ocean of love in me that can't say no anymore.

@Serotoninluv Agreed. @SOUL What do you mean? @Faceless Sweet I live native american drums @Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj Cool way too look at the subject, I'll think about it. @alyra For me I think listening to music is more than just a bad habit since I listen all day, so I am addicted. And yeah, obviously not going to give up my carnal needs, and personally I think of enlightenment as something natural, not groundbreaking. Isn't in my top priorities right now. Also consider that many people think many different things about enlightenment and what it is, what it means for them, so it's a lonely journey. For some, awakening to the law of attraction is what enlightenment means. For others it's ascetism. As Leo said too, different people access different aspects of reality. For me enlightenment would mean that bliss of non-doership combined with the nature of consciousness/reality-fabric. What I practiced a lot is biokinesis and it taught me a lot about reality. That was my path. Now your path might be totally different. So yes, I agree that we are not yogis, not at all. The yogi life-style isn't for everyone. Honestly I think of myself as a pretty average or even lower than average person. @pluto Is the vibrating sound of my neon light healing? Buzzzzzzzzzz...... Jk

@Aftermarket Kundalini energy is really bliss energy but it gets stuck in any emotional traumas or addiction blockages first which causes life to be pretty chaotic. Your going to really have to work through your issues and lay down healthy habits if you want your life to be more stable. Doing nofap works great I find. It will probably take a while to

I've found that my spiritual journey has isolated me a little bit from society. I moved to Sydney, Australia from Canada to study physiotherapy a year and half ago and it's been difficult having no support or not really finding many people that I'm connecting with given my interests (anyone I mention meditation or spirituality to seems totally disinterested, it's a very catholic, far right leaning country, and the culture has little interest in ice hockey or psychedelics for the most part . I've diligently been meditating 20+ minutes every day for about the past year and a half, looking forward to Leo''s videos each week as they always bring me back to some form of self reflection and focus in my life. The ego backlash concept is something that I have noticed a lot and I find very challenging to deal with. I feel for me it happens when my mind gets to a point where it doesn't want to endure suffering anymore, and demands I cave in and give it what it wants - a bunch of addictions. Then eventually through the process, my awareness overcomes this and I get back on the right path. But this cycle has repeated itself so many times, and I'd like to see if other people have unique experiences/tips to helping overcome this. The one time I managed to avoid it was after an exam being extremely upset because it hadn't gone as planned and obviously felt I could have done much better. It was incredible how upset I was over something so small because I knew I'd passed the course already. But rather than letting my emotions drive me to distraction city (facebook, chess, whatever) I decided to contemplate on why I was so upset for about an hour, then meditated for another two hours. I just sat there and decided to face the negative emotions head on. The result was pretty incredible... I came out of it feeling as though I was experiencing everything for the first time. I was in awe of the simplest of things, from eating a sandwich to even the feeling of gravity pulling me down. I started watching some youtube videos on what I was feeling and felt a deep sense of connection and love for everyone on the screen. It was total bliss, somewhat similar to an experience i'd had on psychedelics, but toned down a little bit. My most recent insight is that when we go into these backlashes, our emotions > conscious awareness. Our actions become ruled by how we're feeling and we go into our more primitive way of being. I think the only way to ever overcome this (and I'd like to hear other people's perpsectives) is to get to a point where conscious awareness >>> emotions no matter how strong they are. I can't emphasize Leo's message enough that you NEED to build a consistent meditation practice, IMO only awareness can help you dig yourself out of your ego's holes.

I haven't had the awakening, but is the energy too fiery? Maybe you should add some good feeling, or "bliss" to it then.

You're wrong! I am the highest spiritual teacher and you know it because I am not a famous spiritual teacher So listen to me! JK JK! Or am I? Yeah, I am! ...? Yes it's just an experience. Enlightenment is not even the highest bliss. Enlightenment is unaffected by the highest and the lowest. Unchanged. Higher than the highest, Lower than the lowest. It's better to aim to recognize the peace behind everything rather than the things. Rupert Spira is on the money. So is Mooji. So is Roger Castillo. In fact you could intuit that any high has it's opposite low. If you experience heaven you will experience hell. It's better to ride the small waves, not wish for big ones, because the crash hurts more the bigger the wave, unless you're an extremely good surfer!

Does this sound common to anyone? For basically over a year and a half, my emotions are all over the place.I can be extremely high and blissful, feeling love for everything, then I fall down into depression where I don't feel like doing anything. This is really causing problems in my life. I feel really sensitive to everything and am not able to work because I feel too sensitive to everyones emotions and I can get irritable easily. I know all of these symptoms can be a byproduct of meditation and enlightenment work, but at what point do I just say fuck it and start taking medication, I can't function like this, everyone thinks I am crazy sometimes. I was at a restaurant with my family and had to excuse myself, because I was overcome with an enormous amount of bliss and love and I just wanted lie down and laugh at everything. It would be one thing if I was in bliss and love all the time, but I fall right back down into depression. I just want to be stable. I never seem to have any sense of stability. It is always up and down. It really is confusing if this is a mental illness or is part of the awakening process.

I am 19 years old and im seriously thinking about whether to drop out from university. I am studying physics, and honestly, I wont lie to myself or you, it is hard, not unmanagably hard, but hard. And of course I find it frustrating, not only is it hard, but I feel no sense of purpose when im studying. I feel whenever im doing homework assignments im wasting my time (which makes studying even harder). I feel like it develops me extremely little in the context of what I feel I have to develop in order to be aligned with my inner self (if that makes sense). "following your bliss" tells me I should leave that, but my intellect says that my mind might want to just go the easy way out. Not only are my studies frustrating, but after the studies I have to serve 6 years in the army, which hell knows what unnecessary shit I will do. When I signed up for the contract I thought I was making the right choice (though I had my doubts) but now my views changed extremely much (after discovering spirituality, actualized.org). I can exit the contract and pay the money the army have spent on my studies. My potential plan is: getting a job to pay out the army. completing the life purpose course. I am currently in the beginning-middle way of it. right now my life purpose is to find my life purpose I feel like everything that concerns my growth or allows me to discover my life purpose is extremely interesting. Meditating more completing trifinity academy course i paused in order to start the life purpose course.( paused due to lack of time ) trying out whatever I might have in my mind that interest me in some way and see if I resonate with it. Reading self help books watching self development/psychology videos/lectures. I will live with my parents, which means I wont have to worry about food/shelter. Please tell me how it sounds from an outsider's perspective, I really cant trust my mind on this one. this "idea/opportunity" to drop out sounds sometimes so exciting that I notice the excitement and start to doubt it because it may be too exciting to be something truthful. #DontTrustTheMind #WtfAmISupposedToDoIfICantTrustTheMind. Thank you for reading.

Consider homeostasis 1 The tendency of a system, especially the physiological system of higher animals, to maintain internal stability, owing to the coordinated response of its parts to any situation or stimulus that would tend to disturb its normal condition or function. 2. Psychology. a state of psychological equilibrium obtained when tension or a drive has been reduced or eliminated. Is there something you’re adding, which is preventing a more even ride - preventing your natural homeostasis. Have you ruled out the common ‘additives’ of life that keep us off kilter, like diet, sugar withdrawal cycle, artificial sweeteners, alchohol, eating too late, social media, gaming add, etc? Doing daily meditation? Getting some exercise? Getting some nature when you can? You’re not bipolar, this is part of awakening. You’re more aware and hittin the bliss notes, and you’re more aware of the things you want to stop doing, more aware of negative thoughts, not to mention the pressure you put on yourself. 20-24 is the roughest age imo. What you’re describing is not so uncommon. You’ve got to chill though, so you have clarity to investigate. Build the habit of stomach breathing, when intense highs or lows come around, it sends all kinds of signals to your body and brain that everything’s cool (like when the Wolf in Pump Fiction shows up). You’ll be way past this and remembering and appreciating it one day I promise. It’s making you who you are; the first part is rough, but the second part is great and lasts forever. “Believe it and you’ll see it” is important. You have to find your way, one little bit better thought at a time, to feeling that you can do it - and you’ve gotta be brave about it. Courage leaves us feeling good about ourselves. Get back to feelin good about yourself! Ease up about your life and your potential. It will all be fine. It’s one moment at a time. You can handle this moment. That’s the largest amount of time you’ll ever experience. Literallly, this moment. The rest is thoughts in the head, and meditation will free you of those in time.

I have done my research. Everyone who I consider genuinely self realized used the self inquiry practice and most of them in very little time it happened for them and a very very strong desire. and I am not just talking about those gurus you see out there, but just the average joe not marketing or selling you anything. I know plenty of people that have been strongly practicing breathing meditation for decades and none of them have realized the self, they have amazing experiences like entering jhana, hell even I used breath meditation at first and got into very bright lights entering a ocean of bliss and ecstasy and my mind would be totally disconnected from the external world. for years and dozens of time I have entered these states and none of them had any permanent lasting effect so to speak on me. And here I am more than 6 months doing self inquiry and my mind is more on the "non dualistic side" now. There is a sense of peace, bliss and love everywhere I am going (I am not going to claim this is permanent yet as it's not completely stable) however I see that even when I purposely don't practice anything the changes and effects are there. Seeing the self in everything is just wonderful, liberating as hell. feeling happy for no reason. Anyway like I Said this is my opinion. I don't believe object meditation to make the necessary changes in the brain for self realization to happen. Let's just say self inquiry have the highest rate to achieve this. I don't see this only in my self but also others who practice and practiced this. "It's a mistake to assume that only one school or one technique has a monopoly on Truth. If that were really the case, everyone would be using that one technique and nothing else." It doesn't work that way. not everyone is exposed and have done enough research to fall on the most direct practice and effective of them all. I myself have done a lot of other different school practices before. it's not that I didn't know about self inquiry it's just at that point of my life I didn't think much of it. people that tried to convince me that I should practice self inquiry I didn't take them seriously. which is really a shame because I could have made a lot of progress if I just have had listened to them.

@Joker1111 sure there were bunch of full body orgasms that werent awful. Gotta say I havent experienced the possible awfulness ive seen people struggle with. Some symptoms that make life reaaally difficult. Most of my symptoms have been psychological. I am aware that I have been fortunate enough to be able to surrender to the inner transformation taking place to a high enough degree, which makes things much easier. Fun experience was in december when my consciousness descended into my heart and I viewed the world from heart’s perspective. So much intimacy everywhere. Another fun experience was when a bolt of energy shot from my gut into my heart and I exploded into pieces of bliss and love. Is that what you were asking for?

I'm very addicted to music. Especially since I've become more mindful of music. Music to me is very magical and awe-inspiring, which produces so much bliss and euphoria in me. Highly addicting indeed.

@Aquarius I get it... you feel you have too much alone time.... that said, it's not about being alone, or being with others... it's about being ok with it either way... it's not about romanticizing being alone, it's about being content in that place, without needing others... when you are alone do you feel content with there? or is there an underlying wish for companionship? that said, humans are typically social creatures... I will help the best I can because I see that this is causing you to suffer (keep in mind these words are coming from someone that finds bliss in hermitdom...as well as social stuff... )... seek out high conscious events, such as incredible workshops... seek music where higher conscious people may go... find others that enjoy nature as you do (there are hiking/ kayaking clubs etc) as far as intimate relationships go, (in general not specifically directed at you)...from my personal experience it's best to transcend needing a relationship before you have one... and to find someone you truly resonate with (this actually goes for friends too really)... wishing you the best new friendships and happiness in love

There's this friend I have had since childhood. We aren't THAT close. He's my neighbor. I have nobody else. He has friends that he's closer with. We have some good laughs, some fun. Here's the dilemma: We constantly argue about self-improvement. He is not into self-improvement so a lot of the ideas I bring up are extremely opposite to his socially conditioned belief system (I am partly to blame here because I trigger a lot of arguments) Top things that bother me (in order): He thinks he's better than me He thinks I am a bad/terrible person (I had to drop out of school to pursue my bliss) He makes fun of me with other people and he talks shit about me He doesn't respect me & has a low opinion of me He thinks I'm a cuckoo head Thinks I'm dumb & stupid Problem is, I helped him so much to start up his business. Gave him techniques and tactics and life philosophies that will help him for the rest of his life... And this is how he treats me... Though his opinion is so shit of me, I shouldn't care right?... Like it shouldn't matter if he thinks I'm lower than him? KEY: He doesn't directly communicate this stuff, it's mostly sub-communication. I've seen it all indirectly. Sometimes in arguments it's pretty apparent what he thinks of me and my ideas though.