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All the things I thought I wanted turned out to be empty and in the process of getting it, I realized I didn't really need it or even want it. My desires exhausted themselves and here I am not wanting. True not wanting. I don't want to be perceived as special or as an inspiration. I don't want to have a different life. I don't want to be anyone else. I don't want to escape this limited form. I don't want a different destiny. I want this one. I want this pain and all these problems. I want this society I don't belong in. I want this boredom and emptiness. I want the feeling of not being good enough. I want all my imperfections and traumas. I want everything I didn't want. I want everything I denied. It's not real 'wanting' it's a more so complete yes to everything. Prior to this, my innermost desire was to escape this particular life, this character Danielle. Spirituality was like the perfect way to escape myself and my life while telling myself I was facing it. I just switched between distractions, before it was 3 hours of watching Shameless and after it was 3 hours of listening to Mooji or whoever. I actually thought I would gain something by listening to them, what?! The whole idea just seems absurd to me now. Sure, they can guide you out of dead ends and bring clearity, but they can't give you anything. Not really. All these spiritual ideas were just lies on top of lies on top of lies. Truth takes care of it anyway, my complex blabla isn't necessary. There is just a silent yes present here. The tension in my body has decreased and I've been entrenched in bliss followed by hysterical laughter. I don't know how long this will last so I might as well say it now when it's true. Give me all the pain! Give me all the suffering that ever existed. Swallow me alive, I don't care. I'll say yes no matter what. There is an just an ocean of love in me that can't say no anymore.

@Serotoninluv Agreed. @SOUL What do you mean? @Faceless Sweet I live native american drums @Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj Cool way too look at the subject, I'll think about it. @alyra For me I think listening to music is more than just a bad habit since I listen all day, so I am addicted. And yeah, obviously not going to give up my carnal needs, and personally I think of enlightenment as something natural, not groundbreaking. Isn't in my top priorities right now. Also consider that many people think many different things about enlightenment and what it is, what it means for them, so it's a lonely journey. For some, awakening to the law of attraction is what enlightenment means. For others it's ascetism. As Leo said too, different people access different aspects of reality. For me enlightenment would mean that bliss of non-doership combined with the nature of consciousness/reality-fabric. What I practiced a lot is biokinesis and it taught me a lot about reality. That was my path. Now your path might be totally different. So yes, I agree that we are not yogis, not at all. The yogi life-style isn't for everyone. Honestly I think of myself as a pretty average or even lower than average person. @pluto Is the vibrating sound of my neon light healing? Buzzzzzzzzzz...... Jk

@Aftermarket Kundalini energy is really bliss energy but it gets stuck in any emotional traumas or addiction blockages first which causes life to be pretty chaotic. Your going to really have to work through your issues and lay down healthy habits if you want your life to be more stable. Doing nofap works great I find. It will probably take a while to

I've found that my spiritual journey has isolated me a little bit from society. I moved to Sydney, Australia from Canada to study physiotherapy a year and half ago and it's been difficult having no support or not really finding many people that I'm connecting with given my interests (anyone I mention meditation or spirituality to seems totally disinterested, it's a very catholic, far right leaning country, and the culture has little interest in ice hockey or psychedelics for the most part . I've diligently been meditating 20+ minutes every day for about the past year and a half, looking forward to Leo''s videos each week as they always bring me back to some form of self reflection and focus in my life. The ego backlash concept is something that I have noticed a lot and I find very challenging to deal with. I feel for me it happens when my mind gets to a point where it doesn't want to endure suffering anymore, and demands I cave in and give it what it wants - a bunch of addictions. Then eventually through the process, my awareness overcomes this and I get back on the right path. But this cycle has repeated itself so many times, and I'd like to see if other people have unique experiences/tips to helping overcome this. The one time I managed to avoid it was after an exam being extremely upset because it hadn't gone as planned and obviously felt I could have done much better. It was incredible how upset I was over something so small because I knew I'd passed the course already. But rather than letting my emotions drive me to distraction city (facebook, chess, whatever) I decided to contemplate on why I was so upset for about an hour, then meditated for another two hours. I just sat there and decided to face the negative emotions head on. The result was pretty incredible... I came out of it feeling as though I was experiencing everything for the first time. I was in awe of the simplest of things, from eating a sandwich to even the feeling of gravity pulling me down. I started watching some youtube videos on what I was feeling and felt a deep sense of connection and love for everyone on the screen. It was total bliss, somewhat similar to an experience i'd had on psychedelics, but toned down a little bit. My most recent insight is that when we go into these backlashes, our emotions > conscious awareness. Our actions become ruled by how we're feeling and we go into our more primitive way of being. I think the only way to ever overcome this (and I'd like to hear other people's perpsectives) is to get to a point where conscious awareness >>> emotions no matter how strong they are. I can't emphasize Leo's message enough that you NEED to build a consistent meditation practice, IMO only awareness can help you dig yourself out of your ego's holes.

I haven't had the awakening, but is the energy too fiery? Maybe you should add some good feeling, or "bliss" to it then.

You're wrong! I am the highest spiritual teacher and you know it because I am not a famous spiritual teacher So listen to me! JK JK! Or am I? Yeah, I am! ...? Yes it's just an experience. Enlightenment is not even the highest bliss. Enlightenment is unaffected by the highest and the lowest. Unchanged. Higher than the highest, Lower than the lowest. It's better to aim to recognize the peace behind everything rather than the things. Rupert Spira is on the money. So is Mooji. So is Roger Castillo. In fact you could intuit that any high has it's opposite low. If you experience heaven you will experience hell. It's better to ride the small waves, not wish for big ones, because the crash hurts more the bigger the wave, unless you're an extremely good surfer!

Does this sound common to anyone? For basically over a year and a half, my emotions are all over the place.I can be extremely high and blissful, feeling love for everything, then I fall down into depression where I don't feel like doing anything. This is really causing problems in my life. I feel really sensitive to everything and am not able to work because I feel too sensitive to everyones emotions and I can get irritable easily. I know all of these symptoms can be a byproduct of meditation and enlightenment work, but at what point do I just say fuck it and start taking medication, I can't function like this, everyone thinks I am crazy sometimes. I was at a restaurant with my family and had to excuse myself, because I was overcome with an enormous amount of bliss and love and I just wanted lie down and laugh at everything. It would be one thing if I was in bliss and love all the time, but I fall right back down into depression. I just want to be stable. I never seem to have any sense of stability. It is always up and down. It really is confusing if this is a mental illness or is part of the awakening process.

I am 19 years old and im seriously thinking about whether to drop out from university. I am studying physics, and honestly, I wont lie to myself or you, it is hard, not unmanagably hard, but hard. And of course I find it frustrating, not only is it hard, but I feel no sense of purpose when im studying. I feel whenever im doing homework assignments im wasting my time (which makes studying even harder). I feel like it develops me extremely little in the context of what I feel I have to develop in order to be aligned with my inner self (if that makes sense). "following your bliss" tells me I should leave that, but my intellect says that my mind might want to just go the easy way out. Not only are my studies frustrating, but after the studies I have to serve 6 years in the army, which hell knows what unnecessary shit I will do. When I signed up for the contract I thought I was making the right choice (though I had my doubts) but now my views changed extremely much (after discovering spirituality, actualized.org). I can exit the contract and pay the money the army have spent on my studies. My potential plan is: getting a job to pay out the army. completing the life purpose course. I am currently in the beginning-middle way of it. right now my life purpose is to find my life purpose I feel like everything that concerns my growth or allows me to discover my life purpose is extremely interesting. Meditating more completing trifinity academy course i paused in order to start the life purpose course.( paused due to lack of time ) trying out whatever I might have in my mind that interest me in some way and see if I resonate with it. Reading self help books watching self development/psychology videos/lectures. I will live with my parents, which means I wont have to worry about food/shelter. Please tell me how it sounds from an outsider's perspective, I really cant trust my mind on this one. this "idea/opportunity" to drop out sounds sometimes so exciting that I notice the excitement and start to doubt it because it may be too exciting to be something truthful. #DontTrustTheMind #WtfAmISupposedToDoIfICantTrustTheMind. Thank you for reading.

Consider homeostasis 1 The tendency of a system, especially the physiological system of higher animals, to maintain internal stability, owing to the coordinated response of its parts to any situation or stimulus that would tend to disturb its normal condition or function. 2. Psychology. a state of psychological equilibrium obtained when tension or a drive has been reduced or eliminated. Is there something you’re adding, which is preventing a more even ride - preventing your natural homeostasis. Have you ruled out the common ‘additives’ of life that keep us off kilter, like diet, sugar withdrawal cycle, artificial sweeteners, alchohol, eating too late, social media, gaming add, etc? Doing daily meditation? Getting some exercise? Getting some nature when you can? You’re not bipolar, this is part of awakening. You’re more aware and hittin the bliss notes, and you’re more aware of the things you want to stop doing, more aware of negative thoughts, not to mention the pressure you put on yourself. 20-24 is the roughest age imo. What you’re describing is not so uncommon. You’ve got to chill though, so you have clarity to investigate. Build the habit of stomach breathing, when intense highs or lows come around, it sends all kinds of signals to your body and brain that everything’s cool (like when the Wolf in Pump Fiction shows up). You’ll be way past this and remembering and appreciating it one day I promise. It’s making you who you are; the first part is rough, but the second part is great and lasts forever. “Believe it and you’ll see it” is important. You have to find your way, one little bit better thought at a time, to feeling that you can do it - and you’ve gotta be brave about it. Courage leaves us feeling good about ourselves. Get back to feelin good about yourself! Ease up about your life and your potential. It will all be fine. It’s one moment at a time. You can handle this moment. That’s the largest amount of time you’ll ever experience. Literallly, this moment. The rest is thoughts in the head, and meditation will free you of those in time.

I have done my research. Everyone who I consider genuinely self realized used the self inquiry practice and most of them in very little time it happened for them and a very very strong desire. and I am not just talking about those gurus you see out there, but just the average joe not marketing or selling you anything. I know plenty of people that have been strongly practicing breathing meditation for decades and none of them have realized the self, they have amazing experiences like entering jhana, hell even I used breath meditation at first and got into very bright lights entering a ocean of bliss and ecstasy and my mind would be totally disconnected from the external world. for years and dozens of time I have entered these states and none of them had any permanent lasting effect so to speak on me. And here I am more than 6 months doing self inquiry and my mind is more on the "non dualistic side" now. There is a sense of peace, bliss and love everywhere I am going (I am not going to claim this is permanent yet as it's not completely stable) however I see that even when I purposely don't practice anything the changes and effects are there. Seeing the self in everything is just wonderful, liberating as hell. feeling happy for no reason. Anyway like I Said this is my opinion. I don't believe object meditation to make the necessary changes in the brain for self realization to happen. Let's just say self inquiry have the highest rate to achieve this. I don't see this only in my self but also others who practice and practiced this. "It's a mistake to assume that only one school or one technique has a monopoly on Truth. If that were really the case, everyone would be using that one technique and nothing else." It doesn't work that way. not everyone is exposed and have done enough research to fall on the most direct practice and effective of them all. I myself have done a lot of other different school practices before. it's not that I didn't know about self inquiry it's just at that point of my life I didn't think much of it. people that tried to convince me that I should practice self inquiry I didn't take them seriously. which is really a shame because I could have made a lot of progress if I just have had listened to them.

@Joker1111 sure there were bunch of full body orgasms that werent awful. Gotta say I havent experienced the possible awfulness ive seen people struggle with. Some symptoms that make life reaaally difficult. Most of my symptoms have been psychological. I am aware that I have been fortunate enough to be able to surrender to the inner transformation taking place to a high enough degree, which makes things much easier. Fun experience was in december when my consciousness descended into my heart and I viewed the world from heart’s perspective. So much intimacy everywhere. Another fun experience was when a bolt of energy shot from my gut into my heart and I exploded into pieces of bliss and love. Is that what you were asking for?

I'm very addicted to music. Especially since I've become more mindful of music. Music to me is very magical and awe-inspiring, which produces so much bliss and euphoria in me. Highly addicting indeed.

@Aquarius I get it... you feel you have too much alone time.... that said, it's not about being alone, or being with others... it's about being ok with it either way... it's not about romanticizing being alone, it's about being content in that place, without needing others... when you are alone do you feel content with there? or is there an underlying wish for companionship? that said, humans are typically social creatures... I will help the best I can because I see that this is causing you to suffer (keep in mind these words are coming from someone that finds bliss in hermitdom...as well as social stuff... )... seek out high conscious events, such as incredible workshops... seek music where higher conscious people may go... find others that enjoy nature as you do (there are hiking/ kayaking clubs etc) as far as intimate relationships go, (in general not specifically directed at you)...from my personal experience it's best to transcend needing a relationship before you have one... and to find someone you truly resonate with (this actually goes for friends too really)... wishing you the best new friendships and happiness in love

There's this friend I have had since childhood. We aren't THAT close. He's my neighbor. I have nobody else. He has friends that he's closer with. We have some good laughs, some fun. Here's the dilemma: We constantly argue about self-improvement. He is not into self-improvement so a lot of the ideas I bring up are extremely opposite to his socially conditioned belief system (I am partly to blame here because I trigger a lot of arguments) Top things that bother me (in order): He thinks he's better than me He thinks I am a bad/terrible person (I had to drop out of school to pursue my bliss) He makes fun of me with other people and he talks shit about me He doesn't respect me & has a low opinion of me He thinks I'm a cuckoo head Thinks I'm dumb & stupid Problem is, I helped him so much to start up his business. Gave him techniques and tactics and life philosophies that will help him for the rest of his life... And this is how he treats me... Though his opinion is so shit of me, I shouldn't care right?... Like it shouldn't matter if he thinks I'm lower than him? KEY: He doesn't directly communicate this stuff, it's mostly sub-communication. I've seen it all indirectly. Sometimes in arguments it's pretty apparent what he thinks of me and my ideas though.

If it works it works, but do nothing is a special thing, in that it reveals the extraordinary, so try that also. The bliss is already fully present. Can we just see it, is the matter at hand.

You could find a way of using the languages to create a living in a way that affords you the essentials and the time (key word here!) to purue the study of and playing of Chess. And at 22 - it’s important to “Follow your bliss” as Joseph Campbell says and see where it takes you. Pick a path and start walking down it. Your interest in Chess will expand into other areas, you will meet people with similar interests and these interactions will lead to opportunities you can’t even imagine/know that you actually want right now! But you have to pick a path, and if that path for you right now has Chess as its main focal point, go with it. The twenties are a question mark decade - explore, experiment, reflect as you go along. Even if you’re still unsure whether you’re doing the right thing, you’ll have a wealth of experiences you wouldn’t trade for the world all because you followed your interest.

@playdoh you know when you self inquiry your heart races a little bit? for me, whenever i came close to seeing the truth even though i was extremely calm my entiry body would send feelings of terror all over itself, like i was an animal being hunted, my heart would sky rocket, i would feel like throwing up, that feeling of vunerability, the feeling of "no, please not this" not wanting to die, you are going to have to go through that in the beggning, but don't worry it's not like you have to suffer 24/7 to get there, the more progress you do the less the fear will remain. There will be responses like fear/dread/depression/futility in the beggning but that is to be expected, you are going to have to embrace it though, not to ignore with distractions. Now what i meant with bliss is that this process is literally going to kill you, all of your relationships, friends, dreams, fears, you will see them for what they trully are, it's not going to be pleasent, not saying you can't have blissfull experiences in it, i have had them before, but do not get attached to the feeling of bliss, do not think this is what it is about "being happy all the time" that's a fairy tale. i'm saying this is going to sting you way more than hug you and say that you are going to be okay. Btw the lie doesn't end, you just know it's a lie. Again do this for truth's sake It's super fun/the most pillaging thing one can go through

@lens thanks for your answer. What do you mean by worsening the feeling of dread? And will you never feel bliss, i'm sure you do sometimes no?@Leo Gura Thanks Leo. I just saw a video on Youtube of some guy saying he didn't play video games because he didn't want to give into his desires because it would lower his consciousness. And I just thought of all the things I wouldn't be able to desire anymore, like women??! Whoa I dunno if this is for me hah

That's because you are vulnerable, the ego that is. It doesn't like to acknowldge that though, so it makes enlightment seem like this horrible thing, and it is, FOR IT! To answer your question, no, the minute you see the truth it goes away(not like it never comes back, right now you will probally be experiecing waves), you are not going to be immune but you will not hold such a strong connection with the emotions the character of you is feeling. With that said, to get there, you are literally going to have to worsen your feeling of dread. Again, do not do this expecting bliss, this is truth for truth sake, it can take you 1 year, 5 years, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, the freaking heat death of the universe, but if you want this for the truth then go after it, be patient, it will be worth it. But if you want this as free get out jail card you are in for a rough time

This is inevitable. I crossed the point of no return. I chose the Truth versus me. It is killing me. I see how my reality is falling down like the house of cards. I am losing touch with everyone and everything... I see in front of my eyes in the crowded places how people walk chaotically like ants. I see flashing lights and distortions. All the perceptions blending into one single experience. I can’t locate me anymore. I have no past no future - I only remember now. I am dissolving in the empty space! I love everything. I go home - I scream at myself in the mirror. I hate everything. I feel bliss I feel rage. I am noone I am losing myself. There is no point of return anymore. For those who are just starting! Be sure that you want the Truth! After you get there there is no return... hell and heaven is the same!

Oh boy, you are in for a ride if I might give you a warning:Do not do this expecting bliss, the minute you start to realize this, your entire world is going to collapse upside down. This is truth for truth sake, come heaven or hell. Question everything you hold dear, your hopes, motivations, emotions, your fears, nothing you believe to be has any basis or is special, it is all an illusion to keep this lie interesting. If you trully realize this or not it makes 0 difference, with that said i recommend you to sit down and try to think of nothing at all for 1 minute straight:spoiler alert, you will fail, how can you be the brain if you don't control it?

I seem to be noticing a trend. Here lately I've been shifting into different states. It almost feels like different personalities. I feel on some days I am low consciousness and feel angry and blah. Others I feel like a hippie, full of bliss and love. Obviously the latter feels much better, I know you are not supposed to attach yourself to different states, but I was wondering if it is possible to eventually be in those states all the time.

I've been reading some Osho recently and he says: "Not a single buddha has remained in the forest. If he stays in the forest then buddhahood has not yet happened - because the moment bliss happens, simultaneously the longing to share it happens." Comparing this idea with the saying "Happiness only real when shared", it makes sense to me. I hope it does to you too!

1. You decide what is the main courses and the side dish, in that scenario your valuing one thing over another, value is subjective, meaning I could value dirt over gold, who values 100 bucks more, a millionaire or a hobo? 2. You can't value it that much until you've actually experienced it, they talk about infinity and bliss, but enlightenment is not something imaginable,

there is that thing that makes you want to do something in the present moment. the counterpart of it is the mind, which rationalizes and comes up something with reasons not to do a certain thing. for example to initiate a conversation with someone. sometimes you kinda get the feel to talk, but then the mind comes and says "what will i get out of that" or "it will bother that person". so my question is, since there is so much talk about the "higher self", are we supposed to be doing as the higher self feels 100% of the time? or should we balance it with our mind's judgement. that is i guess what is being pointed to with campbell's "follow your bliss". this is also what was pointed at by carl jung with his ego idea i think. he said i think that we should always listen to that higher self. another question is how to distinguish that from deceitful thoughts, that are not your higher self, but just unconscious motivations of fear. or maybe its the samr thing, i dont know.