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There are a few things that confuse me, and I do not know how Leo got around them: How do we know that the map is not the territory? How do we know that an idea cannot reflect reality? If it cannot reflect reality, then how can the idea "An idea cannot reflect reality!" reflect reality? If all ideas are illusory then the idea of illusion is an illusion too and thus it is actually not correct. Concerning post modernism and the subjectivity of reality, how do we actually know that validity is non-existent? If validity is non-existent, then the claim that validity is non-existent is simply invalid. It seems to me like this very assumption is what spawns all of spiritual beliefs. And the most fundamental belief is that experience can reveal absolute truth. So, when Leo does have the experience of God, he actually forms the belief that this experience confirms his prior beliefs, which were all attained not from direct experience, but from books. Not everyone who has spiritual experiences actually forms spiritual beliefs. Leo claims that it is the absolute truth though, and yet he claims you need to understand it before you have the experience so you can actually understand absolute truth? How the hell does that work? Isn't all of what Leo is telling us nothing but information he himself has either read, heard or seen somewhere else? He claims that he has direct experience of the truth, but the truth he has attained was already formed before he was even close. He began self-inquiry because he was convinced that it would lead him to the truth, that through direct experience he could attain a notion of the true nature of reality. But before self-inquiry, and he cannot deny that, he already had formed all the notions he is now claiming that were revealed to him. The notion that enlightenment is beyond ideas, that it is nothingness, that reality is non-dual, and that ultimately everything is one. Every single of these notions was attained long before the experience followed. Here is a claim that I cannot wrap my head around: "Reality is beyond ideas, enlightenment is beyond ideas, beyond mind." Now, that claim is made, and that claim is a claim about reality, it is an idea about reality. And from that idea then spawns the notion that direct experience can reveal ultimate truth. Why is Leo so absolutely convinced that the map is not the territory? What if the map actually is the territory? What if outside reality actually does exist, and what if ideas are truthful? How can he ever form an idea that informs him of ideas not being truthful, when that very idea MUST be truthful if he wants to belief it. I don't see a way around this, and I see this very problem in post-modernism. It seems almost like we are using rationality to deconstruct rationality, without actually noticing that the deconstruction is happening with rationality. We use logic to deconstruct logic, and then we claim logic is not truthful, because that's the logical conclusion. But what if reality is partly logical? What if the idea of the brain is actually pointing towards truthfulness? And what if the notion of truthfulness is doing the same? What if the notion of pointing is actually reality? Why wouldn't it be? Because you can attain states in which that notion makes no sense? Because you can attain states that create an absolute notion of oneness? Because there is a state in which reality ceases to exist? Yes, the logical conclusion from these states would be that they are reality, but notice that we need to use logic to even make that claim. It seems to me that the Buddha is actually pointing towards this, the no mind, the not knowing, actually being NOT KNOWING anything at all. And this is not what Leo has attained, or what I would claim most spiritual people have attained. They walk around and make bold claims about reality like anyone else. And even if they don't the notions still exist within them, even if not formed as actual ideas. The experience of oneness creates the notion of oneness, otherwise the subject would not even notice, or there would be no experience of the oneness. The very fact that the "non-experience" of non-duality can be noticed by the mind is pointing towards the creation of notion from logic. The logic is "Experience is reality" and "truth is truth". And we know that Leo does have notions because he can dismiss notions. I think not knowing would actually not change anything at all. If you make the claim that the brain does not exist, and I am not saying that it does, but if you make that claim, you clearly know something. Does anyone understand my problem? I know I should sit and meditate and not think about this, because that's what Leo says, but if I buy into that very notion, which is an idea like any other, I might end up just as deluded as Leo might be. I am not saying he is, but I cannot just assume that he isn't.

It has been 2 years since I was "done" as Jed Mckenna would call it. I would like to share some observations I have noticed. I know it is hard to believe someone is really done and you are at a leisure to believe whatever you want. This post would be worth it if it could help anyone. So here are the observations: These effects have remained permanent 1)The mind mostly stays generally empty or a distance is established between awareness and mind. There is no more identification with the mind. 2)The Body feels very light 3)The memories feels like only a heap of perceptions belonging to no one as there is no self left 4)The sense of self has expanded from being in the body to being everywhere 5)There is a natural flow to life. No more obstruction. 6) Continuously have to consciously pretend when I am talking to people. Consciously pretending generally goes on autopilot 7)The feeling of no self is like completely nothing being everything 8)Everything feels very ordinary and magical at the same time 9)Permanent death awarness 10)As the ego is not the self anymore, it is more adaptable and changeable 11)The questions have completely disappeared. There is no more seeking 12)Nothing is taken seriously. Life becomes a play 13)The only think I Know is I AM. Nothing is known other than this. Every other question can be negated as they are just based on assumptions 14)Total acceptance of the present moment. No more resistance 15) Free will seems to exist but belongs to nobody 16) Feels like Infinite Nothingness is all there is 17) Every moment feels fresh and new 18) SENSE of space and time are gone

Currently tapering off .8 mg of subutex for the last two weeks and every night without fail the withdrawl symptoms start up. I have been reading up on what to expect and depersonalisation has come up as a negative side effect of opiate withdrawl. Which confuses me quite a bit since to me anyway seems smack bang on what bhuddism is all about. Detaching from thought and desire through objective observation. I have had some very eye opening experiences in the last month which would certainly relate to "depersonalising", or "nothingness" . I Depersonalisation is classified as a mental ilness but i cannot distinguish the difference between what bhuddism teaches or what this "illness" is. my first reaction is to reject this as a misunderstanding of what i want to believe to be a fundamental truth about reality, I think "depersonalising" can have many benefits as to help liberate yourself from your pre made self conceptions of yourself and the world. but it's seen as an ilness, This seems absolutely absurd to me. Can anyone help clarify this?

I'm fairly new to the no self concept and a couple of question I can't get my head around are as follows: If I am limitless nothingness then why do i feel localised to this body and not other peoples? Is this something that occurs when enlightenment happens? You can become every other person? Also, what if an ego completely identical to mine was constructed? Would I feel as though I was in two places at once?

You are Carrying your Wound You carry your wound. With the ego, your whole being is a wound. And you carry it around. Nobody is interested in hurting you, nobody is positively waiting to hurt you; everybody is engaged in safeguarding his own wound. Who has got the energy? But still it happens, because you are so ready to be wounded, so ready, just waiting on the brink for anything. You cannot touch a man of Tao. Why? - because there is no one to be touched. There is no wound. He is healthy, healed, whole. This word whole is beautiful. The word heal comes from the whole, and the word holy also comes from the whole. He is whole, healed, holy. Be aware of your wound. Don't help it to grow, let it be healed; and it will be healed only when you move to the roots. The less the head, the more the wound will heal; with no head there is no wound. Live a headless life. Move as a total being, and accept things. Just for twenty-four hours, try it - total acceptance, whatsoever happens. Someone insults you, accept it; don't react, and see what happens. Suddenly you will feel an energy flowing in you that you have not felt before. - Osho; from 'The Empty Boat: Encounters with Nothingness'

I went too far this time. I really got myself in the deep end. Let me present to you the biggest ego backlash to date! This is what ego's rant on everything looks like. After being blissed out and up on cloud nine thinking I actually got somewhere, reality showed up and decided to wake me up to the biggest degree yet. I have no idea what to do with the realizations that initially created endless joy, later existential terror; like these: I actually thought reality was real and solid. I thought I knew what reality was. Why did I ever wonder about death if I don't even know what life is?? Doesn't make much sense. I thought I knew who I was. Even after having so many moments of clearity and insights about no self, I've always had the story of me back in my mind: " I'm sure I'm somewhere here" I thought mystical states and positive emotions meant I was moving forward towards this thing called 'nirvana' lol. Looking back, my first enlightenment experience was very important to get me started, but from this new perspective, it was an utter delusion. " I became a chair, wow, I'm nearly self realized now" I thought I was pursuing enlightenment and not the other way around. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into. End of suffering sounds nice, right? Here's a bit of unconditional love to get you hooked and a whole new belief system to serve as a complete denial and an escape from truth. I had no idea how serious this was. I signed up for my death. I thought I knew things about life in general. All of it is complete fiction. I've reached the point of ultimate doubt in everything. The doubt is so huge it feels like it will annihilate me. I used spirituality to avoid death, but spirituality = death. It's funny how all my so called problems seem to disappear when I come into contact with the truth. Because then my survival is on the line! And let me tell you, I'm in the process of dying. It's not some abstract death, it's LITERAL. The realization I saw is something that every human being is running away from and it has sent me into full on panic mode. I started to run again with others, full speed. Due to the constant fear of nonexistence and insanity, I've made my way back into comfortable lies. I did my best to distract myself as much as I could. Tried the usual sensory pleasures: junk food, music, movies, reading and all of that. When that didn't work, tried with other people, with working out, with yoga and with meditation. I can't even meditate anymore. It's too painful.I get heart palpitations, feeling like I'm going to pass out and be sucked into nothingness just 10 minutes in. Naturally, I stop and distract myself with something. And I come here, writing being my last straw, and it fails too. As I'm writing this, I know exactly what I'm doing - postponing my death. All I ever do is try to prolong this illusion of existence. Resistance is futile. Distractions are futile. Thank you Morrissey. Thank you Jed. I'm almost ready to die now.

@tsuki the meaning of silence lies in the context of nothingness. wisdom, is refer to the real nature of you (or to the real nature of reality in this context), to the one that does not change, to the one that was never existed, does not exist, nor never will.

yin and yang. Nonduality: There is absolutely nothing I need, ever. The Dream: As a video game character in a simulation-less simulation, I have many needs. A good idea is to fulfill them. Gives me something fun to do while I'm waiting to die. Nonduality: There is absolutely nothing to seek. I am that I am. Tat tvam asi. The Dream: I can spend my entire life seeking and still not find everything. How cool is that? Nonduality: I am Nothingness/God/Brahman/Consciousness/Awareness/Einsof/Abyss/Allah/White Whale/Flying Spaghetti Monster, and I just sit there, being myself. The Dream: I am a unique video game avatar, with quirks, strengths, weaknesses, and apparent free will. I can spend my entire life in the dream discovering myself. That involves lots of suffering, but also lots of peaks. The cool part: I can learn to make suffering just as meaningful as the peaks. As mah neighbah Nietzsche once said, "He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how." Nonduality: In order to discover myself, I have to die. The Dream: In order to discover myself, I have to live.

If everything is "God's" will and not our will so we don't have free will but we are "God" then we are the one who chooses yet is the divine no one of misperceived awareness of nothingness illusion.......hmmmm

Well, except there is no one that reaches the misperceived awareness of nothingness that is only an illusion of truth.

@Torkys This resonates with me so much! What I will add from my perspective is that by trying to understand anything at all we make a symbol out of it and create a different real thing out of it. This is what the world is made of! Nothingness! I would rather state that as: All analyses are true! The funny thing is that it means exactly the same thing as yours for me while explicitly stating the opposite. Insane!

bulls-eye. you've gone all the way to nothingness, all the way to the the one and only truth that there is, and there is nothing more to say about it. it is no one but you to say that you have reached the nothingness.

I would like to share my story, which consists of three awakening experiences so far. I do not intend to keep a journal and I would like to invite discussion and ask for directions. Due to nature of my self-inquiry I am not committed to any spiritual tradition and know basics of very few ones, but I'm open to suggestions to what pursue next. This thread will contain three posts, as I would like to go in depth on each one and they may not be digestible in a one go. Currently, I'm intuitively feeling that a fourth awakening is coming and I think that remembering details of my previous ones will help it come along. For now, let's talk about my first awakening that happened 3 years ago, and some background. I was always smart. First, as a kid that did as little as possible to not get in trouble with parents and play videogames for the rest of the time. Then, as a teenager that would get hooked up on science and computing, pursuing career in mechanical engineering. I was raised in a reasonably wealthy family and by the time I was finishing my master's degree I had everything most people have by the time they are in their mid-40. A house, a car, a cat, and a reasonably well-paid job thanks to my family. And, of course - feeling absolutely crushed by life's miseries, barely holding it all together. I was having something of a year-off in which I was supposed to write my thesis, but instead of doing that I decided to check out philosophy. I was always admiring authorities in science, and philosophy was like its big daddy so of course I would get interested in that. Being a youtube junkie that I still am, I found The School of life channel and ran a crash course in art and philosophy. What got me really fascinated was existential philosophy, especially Martin Heidegger. He was advertised as the most obscure philosopher that talks about the most mundane things, and boy, how did I love riddles. My first awakening had two stages. First stage was while reading about existentialism as a whole on Stanford's encyclopedia of philosophy, and the second one was while reading Martin Heidegger's "Being and Time". Facts that I injected were not important in my awakening by themselves, but the process of opening myself to possibility. Transcending the point of view I had at the time. What is important is that I did not really try to grasp the logic this philosophy provides, but to accept it as it was given to me, and try to view "the real world" through its lens. A logical/rational person like me could do that only because I trusted that those philosophers were wiser than me and I was trying to connect with feelings I knew I had inside. I was trying to prove to myself that I am a human being, and not a robot which I saw as a root cause of unhappiness in my life. In the first stage, while reading broadly about existentialism, it induced severe feelings of loneliness, sadness and compassion towards other human beings. I remember looking at people focused on their business and feeling sorry for them for being "lost" in their "roles". I suddenly started cherishing simple things, like sunshine, or the wind. Breathing. At the same time, I started to doubt my material paradigm as I believed that I cannot simply be summed up as a story. I started seriously thinking about death, and having walks to the cemetery every few days to contemplate it. When I saw that something was going on with this existentialism thing, I finally decided to wrestle with Heidegger and thought to myself: "Damn, I read tensor calculus for fun, how hard can this whole "Being and Time" be?". Well, the book gave me a good fight and then knocked my Ego out for two weeks. The mainstream advice for anyone interested in the book is that you don't try to read it unless you have a Ph.D. in Philosophy. I was too determined to care at that point, so I read it in two languages to account for mistranslations, while watching Hubert Dreyfus' lectures on youtube. It took me several months to get through one third of the book, when my first awakening happened. It was a gradual process in which I saw how I construct reality. The book highlights the method of self-inquiry called Phenomenology that is used to map the inner territory of a being called Dasein. The being is defined as one that asks the question "What is being?", which is what the book tries to answer. I have been doing that out of pure curiosity for months, each day, every free minute until it hit me: "None of this is real, everything is me". It was a very nauseating feeling, very strange and profoundly beautiful. In everything I saw, I saw how I was in it. Everything was a reflection of myself - a book wouldn't be a book without me. I saw how "I" was constructed out of a "book", and the "book" was constructed out of "I". How "I" was dispersed in everything I saw, felt, smelled and touched. It was absolutely fascinating. Until, of course I understood that I can take ownership of the construction and I started to deconstruct what "I" didn't like. Funnily enough it was things I was the most proud of, like how I was attached to my house, but felt miserable for not earning it. How I loved my car, but felt fear of losing it. To disassociate from my body that I thought was too fat and didn't like. It felt so freeing that I cried. I got so carried away with this deconstruction that at one point I realized that once I knew how to do it, there was no coming back. I could not forget how to and I was in total control of everything. I could go all the way down into nothingness. And then it hit me: "A human is literally nothing and it is terrifying". "We run away from it and shove things into this bottomless pit without realizing it cannot be filled." "This is the misery of the human condition.". After days of fear, nausea, crying, laughter, ecstasy and love - the remnants of "I" decided that we cannot live this way. That this is too unsustainable and we have to close the pit. So it happened. In the midst of things, I reached out to my parents for help. First, they tried to fix me physically, when that showed not to be the problem - they sent me to therapy. Very pragmatic people, but hey - good call. I stayed with the therapist till this day and I'm very glad. What happened next is that I lost 16 kg over the next few years, changed my job to a better one, met my soon-to-be wife and graduated school at the top of my class. Ego at its best, trying to keep the pit closed. Overall: great ride - 10/10, would ride again So, what technically happened? What I learned a few years later is that I probably did a very intense Neti-Neti inquiry while being totally clueless. Ended up, probably, in the dark night of the soul and let the Ego take the wheel again to leave it. It grew back strong, but I knew that I could open the pit someday, which I did in the second awakening. I will report on it soon.

Mary had a little lamb (masculine) Whose fleece was white as snow (feminine) Woman, the everchanging life force aka motion. Men who are dead in the depth of nothingness. Rhythm is an art of variation, stopping and continuing. Could it be that the masculine is like the stable rhythm that ends and the Feminine is the unstable rhythm that continues?

Yo im getting back on topic. I had lsd experience where there was a gap bettween me and floor, there was additional layer. I was confused since i was expecting oneness and that was wierd. I contemplated about non duality and is life is a dream and i had some really shaky ego experiences. Weeks after going through contemplation leo put out a video and i was high on cannabis and could easy go with what he says. Then I "realized" that the gap was nothingness. Still no sure if its true experience but Im open towards deeper experience of it. It can be easy to trick yourslef into believing that but the only thing you can do is open yourself to a possibility that it can be true.

Hahhahaha! But don't touch my nothingness bro, im serious.

To start off I must say that I am not enlightened anymore and therefore extremely prone to misconceptions and mind traps when talking about this subject. Background: I was always a very skeptical person throughout my life. Have been an atheist for my entire life and was also extremely deep into physics but also loved philosophy. With that said, for someone who has never experienced any sort of awakening before all this meditation and spiritual growth all seems like new-age hippies bull. I had not studied this concept before and even watching Leo I would avoid any spiritual video because they seemed so far off. How it happened: I have a very special connection with music, I play the piano and the guitar and have meditated (without realizing what I was doing) pretty much my entire life. I have had visual hallucinations before, euphoria and bliss using only music, no drugs or anything. So this particular time I was listening to my favorite song and was doing this extremely profound and deep meditation with it (again without even realizing it's meditation) when I just caught myself not existing anymore, I was so into the music that I had literally forgot about my own existence, I had killed myself without knowing. I open my eyes, looking at a white board and was extremely confused. Then it hit me as an spontaneous insight: "The self, what a preposterous concept" Still confused a bit, repeated it to myself once more and it was at that exact moment that I had awoken. What happens next the lower self cannot explain or understand, but I'll do my best to share as much as humanly possible on this strange subject. I was everything in that room, literally, physically speaking. The floor, the dust, even the sounds. I didn't exist at all. I was nothingness, also literally. It was a moment of infinite bliss, a pleasure that is beyond any sensation a human can experience. Take all the good feelings in humanity's entire existence and it would still not even be close to this feeling. Awareness is everything that exists. Not as in consciousness, as that concept is too deeply enlaced with brains and human minds, but literally awareness. It is all that exists. It's funny because on a day to day life whenever we try to think of "god" and such metaphysical, airy ideas, we always approach it with flawed concepts like time or physical presence/influence or even with science that strives for perfection and evidence cannot find awareness for it is not a physical phenomena. My awakening experience was very profound, but was far from complete. I saw some facets of the truth but not all of them: -I grasped what reality is, I became aware of awareness (which I guess is a must for any awakening experience) -I understood nothingness -I felt infinite "love" in lack of a better word- -I did not understood the infinite self part. I knew I was everything that existed but I couldn't see it infinitely, I did not see it as finite either, couldn't really grasp infinity no matter how much I tried -I knew it. I simply understood life. -I was confused about other people existing, I knew for a fact I was literally them, but shouldn't have I become omniscient of their feelings and lives? Very confusing -I was in paradise, so when I came back I got a bit depressed I wasn't there anymore -I laughed so much thinking back to all my humanly problems or anyone's problems really. Even though I have no idea why (since I don't see the truth anymore) I still remember many insights and not a single problem exists. The devil exists though, and Leo understood this very well, it is you, who reads this that creates all the issues in the world. (I can't grasp this truth, it sounds super bs writing this but I believe my enlightened self's memories and notes) -Also ultimate certainty of what I saw. Some people are afraid of illusions and traps or scared that once they see the truth they won't know it it's just another trap. It's impossible to have this experience and not understand it's legitimacy. If you think you had an awakening and had the slightest of hesitation then your ego is creating a very sophisticated trap. There are so many things to write. This changed my life and it's so strange because I don't even believe in life or death anymore. I'm sharing this, and also asking for help attaining this experience again. I feel cursed with the ego now that I have been in paradise and I'm desperate to see reality again. Thanks for reading, remember to be open-minded and kind, I'll be sure to answer any questions presented here.

From what I understand of the video, @Leo Gura is basically saying that idealism (the belief that all of reality is fundamentally a form of experience/consciousness) is true, because reality is groundless. What kind of leap is that to make? So we agree that reality is grounded in nothing, where anything is possible. Then why is it suddenly such an obvious thing that physical reality is an illusion and that brains do not generate consciousness? If literally ANYTHING is possible within this nothingness, why is a physical reality — where dead things eventually merge to become what we call awareness or consciousness — suddenly not possible in this context? Leo uses unfalsifiable inductive reasoning of the kind you see solipsists use ("you can't view the brain outside the brain") to claim that human consciousness is not generated by the brain, and that's just not sufficient to constitute a logical conclusion. You only have to refer to the "Russell's Teapot" thought experiment to prove how unfalsifiable claims are insufficient by themselves. Even if we grant Leo's assertion that what we call "our universe" is physics within consciousness and not the other way around, we now run into some problems: What happens after death? After all, the idea of death as the end of experience only makes sense in a physical context; if consciousness is generated by the brain. If we were to take seriously this extreme skepticism to what our "minds" tell us, we would have to go through life completely agnostic about what happens after death. Suddenly reincarnation seems plausible — if reality is a groundless "dream machine" that just churns out one groundless experience after another, as Leo also claims. A terrifying scenario, indeed. I have always found comfort in the fact that I know my existence is finite. Becoming an idealist completely shatters this notion. Is this what Leo is suggesting, or have I missed something? Believe it or not, there's an even bigger problem with dismissing all of physical reality as an illusion grounded in experience: Suddenly, everything can fall apart any minute. Why doesn't it? What reason do we have to be shocked if a UFO comes landing or the moon suddenly develops a face that talks? I imagine that the response would be: Because it would all be a dream and it wouldn't matter outside that context. But what about those "dreams" in reality that never end? Dreams featuring infinite lives of suffering? Surely the existence of such "dreams" is unacceptable? I know that my moment-to-moment suffering — whether in a dream or in waking life — is undesirable and would be unacceptable if it were to last for an infinity. This is the reality Leo seems to believe in, and I find it to be not only an amazing leap of logic for an otherwise smart individual, but also a deplorable demonstration of apathy that he seems completely fine with this. He's effectively dismissing all forms of suffering, no matter how gruesome or everlasting, when he admits to believe this suffering actually exists.

I may as well ask this question here rather than create my own thread since it is of a similar nature to Joseph Maynor's question: If the dream allegory is to be used, then everything is to be seen as illusion arising within 'nothingness'. That is, things lack substance and innate existence to them. Why then, do people who claim to be in this 'state' speak to other people as if they're independent minds, whilst appearing to ignore their assertion that 'people' are nothing but paper-thin fleeting illusions? Please explain this to me.

It's all "you." Everything (from the nothingness)...Each spark is probably not a star but a universe that appeared. Going into an ego...embodiment with love.

That tells me that you don’t know your true nature. If you explore more one day you will wake up and realise that what you said is not true... see for yourself... the Truth is nothing exists and you are existence of this nothingness... that’s the closest I can get to articulating

@Patang thank you again! but how do I know that? We assume here that there is nothing behind me as in that "I" am an illusion and the next level is nothingness, like in: nothingness > I (i.e. that there is nothing between the illusion of "I" and nothingness) But how do I know that the relation is not: something so much greater than me that I cannot even imagine it > mind/electric current/neurons > nothingness > me (i.e. that nothingness is rendered in the mind, which then is another subset of something so complex that I cannot even imagine it) Imagine you are a cell in some body: You live in your world (=some body part) and do what you want / have to do (implying for this example that cells act consciously) => the cell might not be aware that it is just a tiny part of the superset (=the body in which it lives), which is again a tiny part of the next superset it resides in (=e.g. the ecosystem<planet<galaxy<galaxy cluster<...<nothingness) and so on, yet the cell lives in the body and imagines that there is nothing behind its existence on the micro level, but here that assumption would be false, as there in fact is something behind its existence (=the body in which it resides). In this example, the cell would do what it does without even imagining that it is just a part of a body, which is a part of the ecosystem and so on. => How do I know that the ultimate superset of my life is not electric current (or something else that is not consciousness)? For example when I meditate, I hear a very subtle background noise / rustling like probably everybody does in a quiet place => this sounds similar to a radio that is not tuned in correctly or the white noise that old TVs produce when no channel is tuned in = electric noise or electric current respectively. So when I sit in quiet meditation and do nothing, sometimes this noise comes to my attention and the way that it reminds me of electricity also makes me wonder if I am not just electricity and this might e.g. be the subtle noise of "me" being constantly created and re-created and maintained or in other words of my being.

the most important thing is to understand what stops me from ending my life right now? when food, reproduction, love, heaven, fear, death, god, growth, nirvana and whatever else will eventually be exhausted what exactly makes me not to escape from this infinite cycle? when there is no more fear, death, me, you, god, no-god, nothingness, everything, love, humans. when nothing matters, and when you have zero fear and zero care for being alive. what that thing that makes me to doubt killing myself? I think to understand that is beyond knowing absolute truth (but maybe not) and beyond anything my best guess is that you have to commit urself towards fully infinite circle to understand how absolute created itself to realize how you created this infinite myth, this story with no beginning, no end to realize how you became god and created yourself it will take you infinite rebirths thats not some nirvana. not some truth. thats all relative comparing to understanding of how absolute, which never happened never begun, came to be. but u got to be Jedi and die infinite amounts of time thats you evolving from homo sapiens to homo conscious to homo immortalis and beyond, beyond over years that Earth still have thats you evolving your dna and your spirit. and whole humanity reincarnating over and over again. thats you surviving death of universe from heat. you saving humanity and moving to new planet, and to new planet and to new universe. its you eventually finding heavens, becoming absolute, achieving happy end and seeing how you eventually created this mythological universe and came back as a person in this very moment again. life and survival are one coin. when there's no more life, death, fear, love, you, body, soul, mind. what makes you to continue survival?

Nothing! I am just confused by how people describe enlightenment and what it entails. Sometimes it feels like enlightenment means giving up the ego completely, but I see the ego an integral part of non-duality to begin with. Otherwise, I completely agree with enjoying with what is doing. Good question! That is what I am trying to figure out. I would love a description of what absolute means. I can tell you what I have experienced via psilocybin mushrooms: My experiences are quite similar to Leo's enlightenment video that was just released. 1. I have experienced oneness 2. the temporary quality of feeling, sensations, and thoughts. 3. There being no other, because everything comes from within. "It's all me" 3. Deep peace and quietness of the mind as well as stillness that permeates my being. 4. Complete presence in every single moment. 5. Deep understanding and love for myself and others. 6. Loss of control, being awareness itself, not the body. However, my last trip (approximately 3 weeks ago) left me quite lost as I was very aware of illusory nature of my mind-body in comparison to absolute truth and I had trouble pinpointing or grasping deep Truth. I felt that I become conscious of nothingness, the invisible-conscious quality that a lot of people talk about. It's everywhere but nowhere and invisible but not because it was presence. but I did not know what to make of it, what to say about it, how to conceptualize it, as I felt anytime I had a thought about it, I had already lost touch with it. My last trip really exposed the illusory nature of my ego and taught me how important it is to have a empty mind to see what I guess people call the Absolute. The great thing about tripping is that I am very aware of how to get back into this state of mind because the psychedelics forces me to go through it, so I am aware of what it is to have a clear mind. If anybody has any guidance/evaluation regarding this experience and the topic of enlightenment, let me know!

1. If nothing exists, why should I care? This is only a definition of society about existence. 2. Does everything literally exist within the nothingness — from heaven to hell and everything in between? Yes 3. Is there any escape from consciousness/experience if it becomes too miserable? Master Air (green) and Earth (red) and everything will make sense.