Really afraid of nothinghness

[jpablos16]

I'm just realizing there is so much material here, and I'm just starting, so I'm sorry if I'm being repetitive, it will be welcome if you pass me some links in that case

 

The thing is: I am afraid of following the spiritual path; I'm no longer sure if I may incline for God or for the devil, and altough I know it is a duality, it generates terror in me to think that I could get stuck just in front of it, face to face with Nothing, without being able to trasncend it. My question: how can I do then to get to iluminate myself and not to derive to desesperation, psicosis or suicide?

But I am 21 years old on the other hand, I did not finish my university studies, I am not financially independent, should I not be more focused on my ego, on art, as an artist who creates works, instead of going to meditation retreats and taking psychedelics, for a while?

 

A little bit of context: I had a really strong trip with mushrooms; it was also an enlightment expierence. Nothing that happened me before

Edited February 1, 2018 by jpablos16
misspelling

[MarkusSweden]

You are afraid to face truth! And it's a legit fear! 

This is why..

..If you trace your way back to God/nothingness, you will realise how profound and perfect everything is. Everything is complete. There is just an overflow of love, bliss, love, peace and beauty.

There is nothing to do and nothing to become. There is no goal what so ever, you already are the goal. 

Now, because of this overflow of positive emotions, God transcend itself so speak and arise if a form of a body-mind. 

A mind is a derivative of God one can say. The best thing a mind can do is to let it sink back and dissolve itself into to pure awareness/God again. Which is what happened when the mind is stripped of its limitations. 

Awareness plus a certain set of limitations makes up your mind, there is literary NOTHING more to it.

Your mind has many hopes though, many things it will accomplish, you have 20+ years of indoctrination into that mind of yours.

Of course, that will be frightened to realise that the only thing worth doing is to dissolve itself back to nothingness again. 

Life(ego) is great, but even greater, MUCH greater is no life at all. No one is dying here, only the wrong idea that the the mind of yours is something other then limitations of what you really are. 

Since awareness is infinite, that's what we really are. It can limiting itself to "your" particular mind or "my" particular mind. 

Your fear is the fear from "your" ego, which is nothing but an imaginary unit. 

Edited January 31, 2018 by MarkusSweden

[jpablos16]

Thank you @MarkusSweden, your words make me feel calmer. I guess I can not let myself motivate by fear as a right option; I'm already on the path, I'll accept it. Also I think I should be investigating from other perspectives, as I've been exploring satanism and occultism: something no to so pleasant for my old christian background

 

[Nahm]

@jpablos16 This place of openness and honesty which you are coming from, at your age, knocks my socks off. I’m amazed. One way to attempt to communicate about this piece that I think you’re inquiring about, which is in truth, or in actuality, uncommunicable.... The isness of this moment. That is what brings peace, it is to be without monkey mind, and this is also often the very thing that we are using to fuck our selves over. It’s calm, peaceful, and there are no worries. It’s delightful. 

The problem is, it’s too delightful. Lol. It appears as if it’s the bottom, we strongly feel that we have ‘got it’, and we convince ourselves that the isness of the moment is synonymous with knowing what we are. It’s not the same, by a measure of infinity. The now, is conceptual. What we are is transcendent to the now. We are masters of bullshitting ourselves, that’s the call for the continued practices. But if one feels, with every fiber of their being, that it’s this “now” peacefulness which is as deep as the rabbit hole goes, why in the hell would they continue the pursuit of enlightenment? They think they are without resistance, so they never work through - the resistance of the belief that they are without resistance. What a mindfuck, huh?  ❤️

[abrakamowse]

https://emptinessteachings.com/2013/04/14/the-myth-of-the-self-neurology-weighs-in/ 

[SOUL]

There's nothing(ness) to be afraid of..... be at peace.

Edited February 1, 2018 by SOUL

[Will Bigger]

Consider the fact that you experience the nothingness of consciousness without an object every time you sleep.

[Dodo]

On 31/01/2018 at 2:20 PM, jpablos16 said:

I'm just realizing there is so much material here, and I'm just starting, so I'm sorry if I'm being repetitive, it will be welcome if you pass me some links in that case

 

The thing is: I am afraid of following the spiritual path; I'm no longer sure if I may incline for God or for the devil, and altough I know it is a duality, it generates terror in me to think that I could get stuck just in front of it, face to face with Nothing, without being able to trasncend it. My question: how can I do then to get to iluminate myself and not to derive to desesperation, psicosis or suicide?

But I am 21 years old on the other hand, I did not finish my university studies, I am not financially independent, should I not be more focused on my ego, on art, as an artist who creates works, instead of going to meditation retreats and taking psychedelics, for a while?

 

A little bit of context: I had a really strong trip with mushrooms; it was also an enlightment expierence. Nothing that happened me before

The funny thing is that in nothingness there is no-one left to be afraid.

Source: deep sleep

[Sri Ramana Maharshi]

On 2/2/2018 at 1:51 AM, Dodo said:

The funny thing is that in nothingness there is no-one left to be afraid.

Source: deep sleep

It could be debated (and already has been by some) that deep sleep is "nothingness", but states have touched this body that are deeper. 1.) Jhana in full Commentarial Absorbtion. Source: Hard Jhana/full relative time stop/direct consciousness in personal practice. Secondary source: Visuddhimagga/Vimuttimagga, and other individuals alive now (anecdotal) such as Ajahn Brahm for example. This is deeper than "deep sleep" delta waves, since in deep sleep one's body can have contact at the ear sense door, and awaken from slumber. In Absorption one is fully disconnected from "mind" and the 5 sense doors, including hearing. Most markedly, from the standpoint of an outside observer, the body barely takes in breath and is basically comatose. Otherwise it doesn't qualify for commentarial Jhana. This isn't even to mention Nirodha Samapatti, which I won't even unpack here.

2.) Nibbana, defined this time as the cessation of all formations (not just mental, but those found at Contact with the 5 bodily Aggrigates). Personal practice source: Annica 3 doors experience, body skips like a flat rock against VOID. 

Things really are quite simple, but if we try and simplify them too much in concept, it's just gibberish and folks get confused and waste time in fear and traps, or more tragic forms of ridiculous do-er-ship.

Ramana mentioned in his collected works that deep sleep was a time when the world was gone, but he *may* not have realized that the substrate "I-I" was an impermanence wave that comes and goes. In any case, the Buddha gave a much more exhaustive and useful treatment of these issues with his elucidation of the 4 noble truths and particularly the 3 Lakhanas of conditioned existence.

I don't mention these states and terms in order to be literal or fundamentalist, but if we do practice/yoga, self-inq. whatever, then we have to come up with a consistant language in which to communicate our efforts. Without that, it's a bunch of idiots pasting ridiculous pictures at each other and spinning in content. Uh oh! Snap.

 

[Mercurio3]

@jpablos16 “Nothingness” is the same as “Allness”. Everything or nothing are just subjective names for the “Oneness”.

PS: Se nota que eres hispanoparlante .

Edited February 5, 2018 by Mercurio3

[Leo Gura]

@jpablos16 If you feel your spiritual journey is talking on a dark, sinister quality, then what you're missing is the self-love component of this path.

Only you can decide whether you should be pursing success vs spirituality.

It definitely is possible to do both. But it's not necessarily a smart idea to begin both endeavors simultaneously. You can make a plan to work on shoring up your career for 3 years, and then moving your time and energy into more serious spiritual pursuit. Or vice versa.

If you choose to focus on your success/career, you can still keep a small meditation habit going and read books, etc.

You gotta have a larger strategic plan. Draft up a plan for the next 10 years of your life. So you're not living month to month. In 10 years you can accomplish A LOT of stuff if you plan it out well. Within 10 years you can: attain enlightenment, build up a solid career, buy a house, get a nice girlfriend, have a child, and more! You can have all of that by the time you're 31! Just think about that.

[Mrkvn8]

Good shit. Sounds like pursuing success a little more is a good strategy until you feel a little more gravitate towards the spiritual path. Success will give you the discipline and confidence to tackle the spiritual path in an appropriate matter. 

Unless you’re ready for intense emotional disturbance, success may be a better pick for now. 

I ramped up my practice too soon and not too committed to the path, and the emotional upheaval really took a toll on my life and success, so be sure you’re very motivated for spirituality.