Moritz

Hi guys, my Name is Moritz I´m 20 years old and already had my fair share of Psychedelic Experiences. 2x AL-LAD 150 uq, 2x 1P-LSD over 150 & 125 uq, ETH-LAD 100uq, 4-Aco-DMT 20mg. I also did Kambo 5 times so far. All of my Psychedelic Experiences I´ve had with my girlfriend tripsitting and all of them were incredibly life transforming, awareness shifting and healing. But there were also, with the exception of the AL-LAD, very shocking and intense. I´m very sensitive so even medium to medium high doses have strong effects. I´ve uncovered and started to heal sexual abuse from my childhood, regressed Alien abduction memories from my childhood, saw and experienced religious imagery, pyramids, egyptian gods and all sorts of other stuff which would take way to Long to write down here. Recently I had the Intuition to take a much higher dose. (400uq) I´m not sure if I want to take such a high dose especially because of my sensitivity but I definetely feel like a higher one because I feel like I need a break through with some things. My question is wether or not you have experience with higher doses aka „Heroic Doses“ and what you would recommend for safety. I definetely think I Need at least 1 person there that´s physically as strong or stronger than me so I won´t hurt myself if it´s to intense. Do you know of people who offer 1 on 1 trip sitting sessions ? Can you recommend ressources or Information about what PSychedelics do in the brain especially in such high doses ? What do you know about Psychedelics potentially causing Schizophrenia or Psychosis ? I was never afraid of that and never felt like that on trips but when I think of higher doses I want to make the safety aspect even more secure. Much Love, Moritz

Hey Guys, after listening to Leo´s last episode I really want to start doing real yoga every day. Besides the book Leo mentioned what are your personal favorite books on real yoga ? So I already found the book he mentioned online and I´m going to order it within the next couple of days. However to support Leo and to invest in more great information I want to buy his book list. What books on the list are the best regarding real yoga in your opinion ? Much Love, Moritz

So becoming aware of the whole nonsense, the limits and so on a new dimension opens up which is beyond thinking, beyond mind ?

But still...HOW ???^^

Lol.^^

Hey guys, so maybe you´ve been reading my previous posts about my experiences doing self inquiry. It´s about the 3. week right now doing it everyday for at least 30 minutes. I´ve realized that I think therefore I believe aka. I´m identified with the idea of the seperate me that´s sort of the collection of my body, emotions, desires, fears, thoughts and so on. I´ve also realized that there´s something that is identified with these things that is not me and can´t have a form of it´s own because it always takes on the form of the things which which make up my Ego/Self. My first taste or the beginning to grasp emptiness or nothingness. So currently I´m contemplating nothingness. I mean all the theory says you are emptyness, empty space, nothingness and so on and now that I feel like I´ve come a few steps closer to it I´m starting to approach it directly. But how the f**k is that possible. Really ! I´ve just realized that I´m always searching for something in this inquiry. Somting meaning some sort of form. That´s ultimately a total illusion right ??? It´s such a huge mindfuck. And as it is the case with all the other insights I´ve reiceived I feel like it´s just the beginning of the full realization that the insight points "me" to. How can we handle this paradox doing Self Inquiry. The paradox of trying to understand something via the mind that can not be understood by the mind. The paradox of being stuck in the world of form and in paradimes of physical reality and seperation and in that style of thinking discover something all inclusive with no boundries, that´s formless. After all thoughts are language and language is always dualistic and so on and so forth. In hope to receive some guidance. Much Love, Moritz

thx so much for the love and appreciation ! another insight would be that you can´t force this whole process giving it space, presence and allowing it is the most important thing.

Hey guys, so I´ve been doing Self Inquiry for about 14 days now and today has been one of the most insightfull days so I thought I´d share some of those and all the other insights of the previous days with you. I hope this leads to some interesting conversations, discussions as well as advice. So without further or do let´s get into the list. 1. A lack of conciousness is part of the reason why we struggle so much with our "petty problems". As long as there´s no underlying foundation of pure conciousness we´re disconnected from an essential part of our true nature and therefore get los in "b*****t". 2. Man is a machine without "free will". We´re like these puppets of our thoughts, emotions, desires, cravings and aversions. Becoming aware of this is essential. Otherwise we´re fooling ourselves thinking that we´re in control and have free will. 3. The self is ultimately insecure at it´s core because we/it know that it´s not the "real deal". 4. We suffer because of deep identification and attachment. It makes us ping pong balls of all our thoughts and emotions. We´re at the mercy of all of this if we think this is who we are. 5. Understanding the construct and mechanics of the self is essential for deconstruction of the self therefore contemplation of all these components as well as the whole of existence is essential in this work. 6. Trying to prove in the blink of an eye that the self doesn´t exist or is an illusion is useless. Rather understand what the self really is, where it comes from etc. Sort of attacking the beast, approaching the problem from many different angles. 7. Insights can have different degrees of comprehension. Different stages of ripeness. 8. The energybody (chakras) respond to deep contemplation and deconstrution of the self. For example yesterday I got into a really intense flow of contemplation. I was in such intense concentration. I think something was dissolving. My third eye chakra/pineal gland was intensely pulsing all over my forehead the whole time. 9. There always hints of what you´re looking for. Feel them, become aware of them. 10. The idea of Self is so genius that it fools everybody. But really it´s not genius. It doesn´t have to be. It´s rather bold about it´s obviousness. 11. The mind distracts itself from truth to preserve itself. 12. The point where the Self started is difficult to find. Meaning if you contemplate about it you can´t really say that at this age in your life you´ve started exist. 13. There´s is no point in space where you, the I, the Self, exists. 14. You are not the doer. There´s just what is happening. 15. The map is not the territory meaning that in theory you think you know where this process leads to but in reality these are only beliefs and thoughts. 16. The more insights you have the more you crack open and start to shake the old structures. 17. The map is not the territory meaning that in theory you think you know where this process leads to but in reality these are only beliefs and thoughts. 18. The Self isn´t wrong. It´s just not who you really are. So don´t let this process into Self Hate. 19. Since birth you´ve been feed with all sorts of beliefs, ideas and theories about how the world works. You´ve never questioned these. It isn´t true at all but it´s the filter through which you perceive reality. Become aware of what those are. Personally I haven´t become aware of them. I´ve just become aware of the fact that those things are there. 20. You need to work on your emotions and your personality (patterns, traumas, shadows etc. & purpose, relashionships, authenticity, finances), your physical body (nutrition, excercise, yoga etc.), contemplating reality (self inquiry). All of this contributes to your well being and overall opens you up more and more energetically, increases your frequency etc. thus helps you to realize your True Existential Nature. But of course don´t get lost in endless outer ego driven pursuits. 21. I alwas thought I´m very, very, very smart and that I know alot about the world. Fundamentally that is nonsense. In a way I´m just as unconcious as every unconcious person I´ve ever criticized. Realizing my ignorance put a smile on my face. It´s just so funny how my mind is fooling itself. 22. Through trauma energy in our body freezes. We become stuck in the mind and start to just perceive overcompulsevely through it. The truth of our being can´t shine through. So dissolving these traumas and opening ourselves up more increases our awareness to direct experience. This helps to dissect reality. I hope some of those insights are of help to you. Do have more ideas what to question ? Any tips ? Much Love, Moritz

Monkey-man: Already watched it. Gread Video. Definetely worth some rewatches. Great tipp. Thx. nice. thumbs up. ^^ Much love, Moritz

YaNanNallari: thx for the great advice. I feel like it´s crucial to make it feel loved and save without expecting it to change. Which for now feels very tricky because a part of me always wants to be perfect and beats itself up in order to do so. That creates fraction and resistance. I´m working through that with Self Love, Shadow Work, Life Coaching etc. but yeah that´s how I see it. What do you think of that ? Nice definition !!! I´m not a native english speaker so would you be so kind to eleborate on this definition a little bit more ? Intuitively I get the sense that this means that the stream of thought in the mind is constantly keeping conciousness stuck in this arbitrary sense of boundries which create a sense of seperate self. But also the boundries of the current developmental standpoint of the self. That´s maybe why change is always tricky and accompanied by resistance. The Ego doesn´t like it. It wants to stay in it´s omfort zone and homeostasis. I hope this makes sense. ^^ So I´ll continue but I´ll do it lovingly. Any more advise ??? Faceless: Wow awesome tipp. I contemplated what is thought a couple of times out of the same premise. Another good thing to contemplate is there´s just what is happening. The "I thought" doesn´t do anything ! Otherwise you could predict your next thought. Got that one from Jim Carrey. Joseph Maynor: Interesting. So I´ve been meditating for 1 1/2 years now. I´ve become mostly aware of my body and my repressed emotions, energy blocks, my thoughts, mental and emotional state etc. Since doing Self Inquiry for over a week now I had these slight hints of becoming aware of something being there but can´t point out quit clearly what it is exactly. Those times I was just aware and watched reality as you say. But in Self Inquiry I mostly contemplate. In meditation I watch the Now. I watch reality as it is. Much Love, Moritz PS: I really love to hear more, tips, tools and insights. They help me so much to navigate with more clarity and guidance.

The Ego is simply a seperate sense of self right ? Is it really the same as the mind ? Or does it reside in the mind. Conciousness is deeply identified with mind/ego therefore this perspective seems like it´s the only reality. What exactly do you mean when you say the self is relative to reality ? Why is reality the whole of conditioned conciousness ? Isn´t REALITY just pure Conciousness, The All etc. ??? I´ve never heard of the term conditioned conciousness. Do you mean what C. G. Jung called collective unconciousness. My mind is very confused about some of your definitions.^^ Probably a good thing. But anyhow. Please explain clearer. That surely makes sense ! So how can I deliver this inner child this insight lovingly without enforcing it on him ? I think it´s about letting love melt through the illusory boundries and barriers. Also how can I show this part that more and more letting go of the self will mean freedom and abundance which is a true security. Not the sort of false security based on lack and insecurity. Much love, Moritz

Hey guys, it´s been over a week now since I´ve started doing Self Inquiry/Enlightenment Work for at least 30 minutes daily. Currently I´m having a seemingly big barrier. There´s a part of me, I think it´s an inner child, that does not feel save questioning the self/mind/ego as well as reality. How can I develop the Self Love to make the child feel secure enough to continue down this path ? Appreciate the answers guys ! Much Love, Moritz

Hey Guys, so I´ve been doing Self Inquiry for over a week now daily for at least 30 minutes. (to be honest I´ve lost track for how long exactly but anyways...) I´ve gotten some insights, which you can partially read in my previous posts, but for the last 2 days I felt like hitting my head against a solid 3 kilometers thick brick wall of ancieties, preconceptions, fears, beliefs and so on. And by brick I mean like mo**f***ng BRICK. Like the real kind. The kind that you need like wagons full of dynmite to get through. You get my point it seems insurmountable. Basically my mind is unwilling to open to there even being a possibility of the state of no self which we refer to as enlightenment, awakening and all sorts of other labels. So today I thought I´d switch it up a knotch and why not do the Guided Visualization by Leo in his Neti Neti Method Video. So I did and now the "problem is even clearer. In his video he´s saying something like: Until you´ve opened your mind up to the possibility of not being a Self your not ready to do the Inquiry. The inquiry starts after you´ve opened your mind. And this is what happened... "No I can´t", rebells my mind in utter panic. "Why not I ask", a little bit annoyed. "Because this is all we have. We only have ourselves. Without this you´ll be unsafed, you´ll be alone, you´ll be damned !" I get more and more frustrated and pissed at my self. How could I be so stupid ? After reading all the books and watching all the videos about Enlightenment, how the Ego keeps you enslaved and so forth this protector part had such an utter faith in the fact that the old me, the mind, the EGO would be the only way to feel secure. I´m hitting my head against this wall. Again and again. And like a snake the mind wispers: "No don´t try. It´s pointless. It´s obvious. We know how we are." I take note of the comment. Try to not give it to much energy and focus again on my inquiry. And there´s the wall again. This doesn´t make any sense. My mind distracts me with totally random thoughts of this or that. My relashionship, eating food, porn and what not. It´s so annoying. In fact it´s painfull. Not to mention my other inner emotional conflicts which constantly interfer. My heart and throat chakra tensed in anxiety. It all feels hopeless and pointless. I´m stuck forever stuck in this rotten misery. So known. So ugly. But yet it somehow feels safe. I can´t get out. I have to get out. I´m in resistance. I´m stuck. Gosh this is annoying. But sometimes. This slight hint of an awareness that there´s something there to discover which I´m simply unaware of for now. The insight of how lacking the connection to this conciousness, this awareness, is the root of all my "problems" in life. But I can find it. Somehow. Some way. There´s hope. Not only that. There´s perspective. Perspective for all the love and passion to pour right to the wounds inflicted in the past and light to crack into the concrete block of equmiliated falsehood and deception of the mind. It keeps me driving to the truth all day everyday. With every step and every breath. So my question is how do i make this part of me feel safe enough to start doing the Inquiry and no longer resisting it ? And how do I deal with my mind and Ego resisting this work ? Much Love, Moritz

thx for all the cool & helpfull answers guys ! :-) very appreciated. good luck to all of you as well. Much Love, Moritz PS: What type of diet do you guys eat ??? I´m very curious. I eat a whole food plant based diet. Sometimes I eat oil or sugar but mostly whole foods with lots of raw stuff.

Hey Guys, so I´ve been doing Self Inquiry or about a week now and I start to get more and more frustrated. I feel like all my models of the world are crumbling in real life and no longer just intelectually. My mind resists like crazy and compells me to stop because "This just doesn´t go anywhere." Another insight I`ve had is that I now realize how all my "petty problems" stem from a lack of truth and conciousness in my life. This doesn´t say that my emotional Traumas/neuroses are not really causing me pain or anything like that. Those traumatized parts Need Unconditional Presence/Love/Self Love and I do Shadow Work for that. I mean that there´s a lack in the overarching narative of conciousness and therefore deeper purpose and part of my life purpose. So glad I finally started a daily Self Inquiry Practice in my life. So to everybody who hasn´t yet I would highly recommend it. In fact I´d urge you. This is like super freaking important at least as a part of your Self Actualization journey. But to me it´s really becoming the core, the overarching narative I think. And to all the experienced Self Inquieres I´d like to ask the question: How has your journey with the Journey to "Enlightenment" have been ? What Tools do you have for beginners of this practice like me ? Much love, Moritz