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About MiracleMan

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  1. Its a song by Rush called Free Will haha, check it out!
  2. You can choose a ready guide In some celestial voice If you choose not to decide You still have made a choice You can choose from phantom fears And kindness that can kill I will choose a path that's clear I will choose free will
  3. Its tough man! I'm trying hard to do at least one cold shower a day. I just try to imagine Wim cheering me on.
  4. Just jump in the cold shower, you'll do the breathing technique automatically. Its a physical reaction to the cold, you'll notice yourself gasping for air for the first minute or two. Try to do the wedge method: There is grit and there is flow. Once you get into the cold you'll automatically go into grit and tense up. Let your body do that, don't force yourself to try to relax, instead breathe deeply, focus your mind on relaxing and slowly the body releases once it adjusts to the temperature. Now you are in flow, not trying to protect your body from the cold, you accept the situation. You'll notice your skin actually feels like it warms up, your core starts generating heat all on its own. Its quite remarkable. Before the shower I always feel resistance to getting in, during the shower I feel challenged, after the shower I feel renewed. I only discovered Wim Hof a few weeks ago, a very interesting man who doesn't just talk the talk! So far I've found small improvements in mental health, but I'll need to keep it up to see any results. I don't think I'll be climbing Everest in my shorts anytime soon, but you never know.
  5. What do you think about the messages of nondual teachers like Tony Parsons, Jim Newman, and Paul Hedderman. (Youtube them if you have the time) Tony Parsons talks a lot about meaninglessness, and this intrigues me. Sometimes the notion of meaninglessness is like a sick feeling in the gut, other times it feels like a weight being lifted, but it always some kind of emotional rollercoaster when I listen to talks about nonduality, it is a bit shocking and I couldn't imagine having a mundane conversation about it at a bus stop or a park (although it would be lovely!) A course in miracles also speaks of meaninglessness, but from the perspective of the ego thought system. ACIM basically puts the metaphysics this way: the egoic thought system projects meaning and purpose (knowledge) onto the world and seeks security in that form of knowing, like miscreation 101, the original sin, missing the mark, making an innocent error. The course then subtly transitions to "God did not create a meaningless world." The paradox of duality is displayed in the two statements "Nothing I see means anything" and "God did not create a meaningless world." Maybe the perception of meaning is the error, and Tony asserting that the world is meaningless is just smacking the ego's hand and saying you've miscreated by attaching your own personal meaning to the universe. This personal universe is one in which I stake a flag in the ground and say "these concepts of meaning are my own, they are a testament to my knowledge and understanding, and they give me security in a world I truly know nothing about..." A universe beyond limitation could hold no meaning except by the whole. What believes it is a fragmented and limited part could only perceive a fragmented and limited concept or meaning of reality, since by its own limitations, its can only perceive a "slice" . Where is @Faceless when you need him, box with me man. What do you think @winterknight? Edit: While proofreading I noticed that the statement from the course "Nothing I see means anything" probably means physical sight in terms of perception. The statement "God didn't create a meaningless world" is a metaphysical statement. I think that is worth dwelling on.
  6. The condemnation of the other, or brother, and the recognition of ego in the other, reinforces the ego in the self, in a loop that continually feeds itself. The ego is a mimic, it tries to be the infinite, or God, by God's function: extension. The ego's extension is in time, and it does this by doing, and by effort. The infinite, or God, or Love, always extends, that is its inherit function, to extend. The ego, also extends, but in a finite sense. The ancient artifacts and ruins of ancient world, and literally every object you see is the ego at work, trying to extend in time, trying to 'exist' or 'stand out' from God's infinite being, to essentially raise a flag and say 'I was here'. But this world of 'existing' or what we apparently see doesn't actually stand apart from God. In the gospel of Thomas, Jesus said 'Be passers-by'. This world ended long ago, we are experiencing a dream in time. Reality is utterly left free from the world of time and illusion, unbounded and pristine, without a mark on it. Without judgment or fear, every apparent one of you will die, and you're infinite nature will be revealed, and all the seriousness will melt away into a choir of laughter as we are joined together, just like we always have been, just like we are now.
  7. @winterknight 1. Did you ever deal with an accumulation of anger, rage, and resentments? 2. Can anything be done during those surges of emotion to aid in my practice besides inquiry? I'm specifically talking about repressed or suppressed thoughts and emotions, not as it relates to an individual having or owning it, but as an event, say, like a recurring weather pattern. I've heard an analogy that the subconscious is like a stubborn child, while the conscious mind can rationalize and say 'everything is okay, there is nothing happening', the emotions still occur in a predictable cycle, sometimes provoked by events or sometimes apparently just happening without cause. I realize that I'm reacting to what's not happening, such as a surge of rage occurs at a small upset, this tremendous burst of emotional energy arises, and there is an automatic resistance or contraction around that emotion. So the emotional response is exaggerated in a sense. I've been experiencing some negative side effects from Vipassana lately, and its much like clearing out an old wound, it's quite painful, and not all love, light, and rainbows. I've been quite humbled by it. Ive uncovered my internal parents, that seem to be stuck in my head, I've realized I'm also codependent and maybe these internal parents in my head are serving me in this way because of my insecurities, so my subconscious is trying to protect me by keeping those aspects of the parents around to keep me in line, and also safe. I had an intense dream a few nights ago: I was working in a compartment on an aircraft carrier, my Dad was hovering behind me as I worked nervously, my mother was shouting at me from a catwalk above me. I remember getting frustrated and losing my cool, and shouting "Mother...get the FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!" and she did! And I was relieved in the dream. I don't remember more than that. It's obvious I hold a lot of resentments toward my parents, but I'm 32 now, I love them so much, and I have great relationships with them now. I don't get why I can't let go of so much of the rage!! I can rationalize, be reasonable, and say that they did the best they fucking could, I'm so fucking lucky considering I know people from horrible situations and who have shitty relationships with their parents. Maybe this will just take time. I'm trying to start a Metta practice to take the edge off the Vipassana routine, and maybe build up more compassion for myself and others. I'm practicing forgiveness, and praying too, it helps. More than anything, I think if I could be kinder and more accepting of myself, I would be less harsh on others. I don't think anyone in my entire life has been more abusive to me than me. It's almost as if I feel a blockage or a dam, close to my heart, that is trying to protect me from harm. Sorry to ramble, but this just sort of spilled out. Respond to what you will and thanks.
  8. Can anyone recommend guided Metta meditations that you have used in a sustained and regular practice? Also books, or just more info on loving kindness, from those of you who have a lot of experience in this kind of meditation. I ordered 'Loving kindness in Plain English'. I'm doing well, thanks to all who provide their help.
  9. What a load of self absorbed nonsense. Another one obsessed with who is and who isn't enlightened, another one who 'thinks' they are in a position to judge worthiness of another, or label them as such. Oooh, enlightenment, so rare, so noble, so special. You sound like a special guy, with special secret knowledge. The problem with claiming enlightenment, is you have no fucking ability whatsoever to prove or disprove it, other than anecdotally and based on your own biased set of criteria and beliefs, which is.....DOGMA. You drank the kool-aid broski. "Oh he's enlightened...im sure of it..." How? You can't answer that, ever, in a convincing and objective way. It's dogma because I'd have to take it on faith. What a noobie mistake. Anyone can make an account on this forum, claim to be enlightened, and spew a bunch of crap like you have here. I would say nice try, but, you know. Next!!!
  10. Haha, yeah, I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but I've had an unhealthy habit with it. Orgasm is a drug for me, I don't masturbate out of a natural need to release sexual energy, instead I use it as a coping mechanism and to get that high. I'm just trying to get myself off. Instead of looking for a loving relationship or sharing my sexuality with another person, I'm using masturbation to get out of that situation to prevent myself from being hurt, rejected, and abandoned. Nothing wrong at all with masturbation, but it can be a seriously debilitating addiction for some. Lack of moderation in anything leads to extremes. Thanks man
  11. @PsiloPutty @Nahm Thanks Bros, means a lot, seriously.
  12. If you can 'become' enlightened, you can 'become' unenlightened. If someone can 'lose' an ego, they can gain an ego. Better to question who wants to 'get' enlightened, who is it that has an ego? Very suspect, very sneaky right? What is the nature of thought? Is the thinker different from thought? Hmmm 😂
  13. Why is a childish question if you think about it, and even if it had an answer, it would only be to serve an egoic desire to know, and wouldn't solve your 'problem'. Look at it this way, Asking why is the same as asking what is the cause/effect. Why does X exist? Because Y. Anything you could possibly fill in would be a limited, finite, and false conclusion if you're asking about the totality of reality. You cannot figure this out, that is the barrier, is the having to know. X and Y could be filled in, but it would have no bearing on reality, wouldn't leave a mark, and you'd still be somewhat dissatisfied, because of the limitation of an X and Y answer. There is a reason why not knowing is the highest form knowledge, you're already there, but ego fragment or intellect is under the delusion it can reconcile, consolidate, and disseminate information in such a way as to reflect the whole. Basically, a fragment of reality (and this is being very generous to the ego) believes it can comprehend the entire whole. There isn't anyone here to know that there is no one here. It's so unbelievable, utterly unbelievable, it can't be believed. Enlightenment is being shown to you guys as a thing, an object, a place in time, a goal, a solution, an end, a means, an attainment, an addition, a commodity, a value, etc. When in fact, there is no such THING. That is a fact, Nonduality is a fact. There is not two.