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@Demeter i know, was the same, devastating ,alone in the void. but the question is that when you experienced the void wasn't ego there....so what was? Only your awareness? Maybe it was the only awareness that exist. The other possibility is that we keep some ego there and the ego facing the nothingness got desperate. I think there was no thought, but who knows...still scratching the surface

Leo kind of explains what you're going through in his video "How To Do Self-Inquiry" around minute 35. But he dosen't explain the "how to" integrate Nothingness again after awakaning.

@Javfly33 What was wrong about smoking / vaping? I tried plugging first l, despite high dose It was short and weak. Vaping was super fast acting, it kicked me directly into nothingness. I didn't have time to be scared. I won't lie, it was an eternal nightmare Maybe it was a mistake that I had my eyes closed all the time. I like that vaping requires less preparation than plugging. Long process only make me more anxious.

Here's a profound nde. The guys who had a bad time in the void should give it a read. Maybe there's more to this.. In that moment of impact, I felt my whole body lift up, fly forward with great force, and hitting something. Next thing I knew, I was seeing this white stream of Light, travelling inside my body, which was also filled with a brilliant electric white Light! It looked like light travelling in light. As I looked at this moving light energy, I realized I was also experiencing it. This powerful, white energy which was moving from my solar plexus towards the top of my head. I was moving very fast. Yet, simultaneously, I appeared to be moving very slowly. Somehow, it seemed very natural for my movement to be slow and fast at the same time. Was I in perfect balance? There was no sense of duality. I knew that this light energy was my Prana, otherwise called life force. The Prana was moving upwards through my body, almost as if being pulled by some sort of magnetic power above my head. Just then, I experienced a sinking feeling, very much like one feels when beginning the plunge down a roller coaster. I felt myself go into a gentle convulsion with an upward movement. The next moment it was all gone. There was no light, no body, or anything. It was the strangest feeling, and yet so familiar. It was as though I had before experienced it many times. Without the body, I found myself floating alone in a dark void. I was totally confused as to where I was and what was really happening. All I could see was total darkness everywhere, but I wasn't afraid. At a distance, I saw a pale golden vehicle-like thing in the shape of a small boat. The boat was brilliant in its golden hue and it was coming towards me. The center hollow portion of this golden boat seemed to be filled with that same shimmering, brilliant white light I had seen inside my body. As it moved closer, I could see in the center on its ‘bed’ of white Light there was a very ethereal human body. The body was lying very still on its back, draped in a pale golden gown and glowing gloriously in the dark night. It was a magnificent sight to behold! As it came closer, my entire being went into shock when I saw the face of this body. It was me. 'Oh my God', I realized, 'I am dead.' I was completely jolted by this truth. I looked at myself for the first time and saw I had no body. I was just a spark of Light and was now linked to this sparkling boat. Almost immediately, the golden boat tilted upwards with the feet of the motionless body pointing upwards and head below it. The boat transported me faster than the speed of light, almost like a thunderbolt slicing through the dark night and disappearing into that void. Almost as if I had fully woken up after a long sleep, I found myself surrounded by an All-Pervasive Brilliance. There was no boat, no body structure, no dark void, nothing. There was only this dazzling, electrifying, brilliant white Light all around. The light was everywhere. There was nothing except this brilliant Consciousness! It seemed to have a consistency of the ever-finest, minutest electric-like sparkles and was energetically similar to the ‘bed of Light’ I had come on, except that this light was all-pervasive, limitless. It could perhaps be compared to the light of thousands of brilliant stars reflected in millions of sparkling diamonds, all-encompassing, self-luminous, and pulsating with electric energy: very delicate and smooth. I seemed to know that the light was the Supreme Infinite Light that is God, the Cosmic Consciousness. It is truly impossible to describe in mere mortal words, this Pure Love, this vital energy, this infinite Light, this Supreme Absolute Consciousness, This Presence, which is commonly referred to by most of humanity as God or the Creator: it can only be experienced! So please forgive my humble effort with limited vocabulary to try and share what I experienced. At this moment, I was literally standing on air and was an electric body of Light. I was in this dazzling white void, this Brilliant Nothingness, filled with comfort, delight, and a deep knowing that I had reached my destination. I seemed to know that this was the Ultimate White Effulgent Light. Experiencing myself as a shimmering sparkling white-light energy, pulsating with some kind of ethereal (ether-real!) electric life force, my Being was flooded with a gentle, very expansive Love energy. The energy was like a soft embrace from that all-encompassing Light Presence! This Light Presence of pure, unconditional Love seemed to be in me and around me. It was all-pervasive and extended into infinity. Strangely, there seemed to be no difference between this light and my Light-being. Even more bewildering, was that this Conscious Loving Presence, seemed to be the nature and substance of all of existence. In sheer delight, my Light-self was almost skipping in the air as a further wave of knowing passed through me. I whispered to myself, ‘This is the real me!’ In complete wonderment, with a sense of déjà vu and awe, I heard myself say, ‘I know this place, I know this place. I've been here before. I made it. I finally made it back!’ Drinking in the nectar of the Loving Presence which enfolded me, I saw with complete amazement a very interesting transference starting to happen. There was a string of atoms starting to flow out from within the left side of my electric body and they disappeared upwards into nowhere. Almost as if from thin air, a much finer frequency of atoms seemed to be appear and were entering through my right side into this same electric light body. I was watching and experiencing at the same time, again with no sense of duality. My entire Being was being totally emptied, refueled, and re-programmed with this ethereal, orderly, interchange of atoms. I saw that the new entry was made of a vastly different energy and seemed to have a much more expansive and delicate DNA energy. It had a new wave of very lightweight, subtle cellular frequencies, as they spiraled in, expanding and changing the previous electric body formation. All of the above was happening very fast and yet it seemed to take an eternity. Enfolded in the comforting wrap of Pure Divine Love during this cellular exchange, it seemed as though I was gradually disappearing with the atoms leaving this electric Light body. Almost as if, another ‘me’ was birthing through the newer, finer atoms entering into this Light form. My whole being was cleansed and purified, making it ready for its next role in God’s divine drama. I wished to take a final look and say goodbye to the world I had just left behind. I looked over behind my non-existent shoulder, somehow expecting to see my world; but, to my complete shock, I saw that there was nothing there. My earthly world didn't seem to exist! There was no world, no universe, no galaxy, no earth, nothing! Nothing existed, except this soft Conscious Presence, this pulsating Brilliance, this pure Love that was everywhere as all pure white Light. ‘Oh my God, how could that be?!’ I exclaimed to myself. ‘Where has it gone? What about all I went through as Arti? It was all real! How could it have just disappeared?’ A gentle response seemed to come from the cosmic wisdom that was all around, ‘But how could it be Real, when it has just disappeared?’ There was so much knowledge that was shared with me that I can't share it all here. The response said, ‘What is real is only that which is permanent and changeless. That which changes, is within the mirage of time, and truly non-existent. Consciousness, however, as a gentle, delicate, smooth, flowing Presence is ever present; even within the human form, above and beyond the mind, as it is the Experience-less-ness underlying all experience. It never changes, never disappears, and it is therefore, the only Reality.’ I asked, ‘But if this Consciousness alone is real, the world was an illusion? Then where did it come from?’ It replied, ‘Like all manifestation, the world too is the creation of the great illusion or great delusion, which being the Creative aspect of this Supreme Consciousness, or the Lord, is the divine movie-projector of life, in the all-powerful play of the realm of Creation. Just as a mirage in the desert disappears when viewed from a certain perspective, your life as Arti on earth has disappeared, when viewed from the perspective of the Divine Self, where you are now. Only the eternal is real; and from the viewpoint of that Reality, all that is non-eternal, disappears. Yet of course, you, being eternal Atman (the soul) can still view the ‘world of illusion’ if you wish.’ I asked, ‘So my life as Arti never really existed at all, it was an illusion?’ It replied, ‘Oh, it existed; just as a dream exists, or a movie, or a mirage.’ I continued questioning, ‘So the world, was just a figment of my imagination? How did I create it? With my thoughts and desires?’ The reply echoed all around me, ‘Y-e-s-s-s-s!’ as it reverberated within my being. Y e s: I understood now. The world had all been only in my mind, a thought-and-senses created illusion/delusion. Without the senses, mind and body, there was now no ego to perceive the world illusion! It had all existed and happened only in my mind! Our true reality exists outside of the mind, which is where I was at the present moment. I realized the true vastness of my Being and the minuscule nature of the cage of the earthly body. The roles I had played through the many lifetime dramas with different bodies, flashed again into knowing. I smiled, seeing there was absolutely no attachment whatsoever to any of them! How could I, when it was just a play of mind? I had come to terms with the fact that once I, my ego consciousness, left the body, my mind-created world also disappeared. Universal laws seemed to unfold rapidly and poured into my entire electric-wave body. I realized that the real goal of the mind-created life game was to remove the veil of delusion and ignorance and reach the Ultimate Truth of one's reality in life itself. This Truth, this Self I was bathing in and which had encompassed my Being, was nothing but Love. The Truth was Love; pure, unconditional, Universal Love, that is almost non-achievable in human terms. It was the fabric of this Consciousness of which I was a part. Yes, because Love is God and God is Love. It was very clear that the cosmic composition was made up of nothing but Love! Love is the God-glue that is holding ‘All’ together. I realized I was not just inside the Love but rather, one with 'It', this Universal Body of Love, of God. This was completely natural to me, as flame is to fire because it is fire. This was Home and I wanted to be here forever. Immediately with the emergence of this thought-wish, the ego-wave that was Arti, seemed to gracefully meld into the Supreme Presence, dissolving into that Ocean of Love. Arti as the earthly Arti, was no more. An incredible wave of freedom splashed over my being, almost like coming out scrubbed fresh and clean after a long overdue bath. The cellular interchange of atoms with their spiraling exit and entry had stopped because re-programming of my electric light body was completed. I was birthing a new life later known as Mira S. I knew without a doubt that life on earth was just a playground of experience, an assignment from God, a mirror projection of the Divine. In each new lifetime, as the soul makes spiritual progress, its vibrational frequency gets tuned to a faster, higher and finer level depending upon its degree of evolution. The transformation continues until the frequency level is fine-tuned to such a degree that it connects with the frequency of the Cosmos itself, which then allows it to gain entry into Cosmic Consciousness, one’s true self, which is eternal bliss, otherwise known as ananda. In the Light Presence, everything and anything could be readily created or manifested. It was in the Nature of this Supreme Presence. Everyone and everything, anywhere, was right here where I was, present in the seemingly invisible NOW. One just had to think it, and it was available. The transformation-transmutation within my electric body being completed, the electric body too, was no more visible because there was complete Oneness. It was infinite to such a degree that I was no more, and yet I was that Consciousness. There was nothing else and No other. Oh dear God, That is all that exists, the only 'Being' that is! That Consciousness was all around, inside, outside, above, below. It was everywhere! The ALL! As one touched by the Philosopher’s stone, which is said to transform iron into gold, I had gone through a complete transformation and transmutation of the previous self into birthing a new higher self. I was bringing with it an immediate awakening into the ‘knowing’ of Universal Truths and the Reality of Supreme Self. This magnificent All-pervasive Effulgence was so glorious! It was true, there is only one Being, one God, and THAT is the true Self of all. All are just a reflection of God: All are That One. I, too, was That One. THAT is my Reality. I was brimming, overflowing with the supreme knowing that The Supreme Being is my own true Self, my true identity. It was here, now, and always. There is no past or future; it is all happening constantly in the now. Losing it all, dissolving, I was, ‘I AM THAT I AM’ (Aham Brahmasmi) I knew that I was and I AM all there was to know! Just like myself, all of creation wherever and however it existed; whether human, animal, mammal, plant, or nature, all were full in themselves. All were and are God, a beautiful glorious expression of that same Fullness. Creation was just Divinity experiencing itself through Its Creation!! I was bathing in Consciousness, as Consciousness. I was enjoying this bliss of Union with the Absolute, Divine Self, God, and Full with wholeness of Being. I wanted only to remain as this Cosmic Being forever. I never want to be separate again from this Oneness, this All-encompassing Love! This was my feeling, as a faint memory of the world of separateness wafted into my consciousness and anxiousness seemed to take over all of a sudden. I heard myself repeat twice, ‘Where do I go from here? Where do I go from here?’ By the formation of destiny, which is created by our actions and reactions, the newly transformed Being of myself now in existence, having received a downpour of higher Truths and realizing its Higher Self from having merged in Oneness with It. I knew that it had been brought within and as, the pure energy of That One, of pure white Light for a reason, so an element of wonderment was there at what might be coming next? Much to my dismay, however, the All-Pervasive KNOWING came through with a much different response than what I was expecting. Coming loud and clear, It reverberated through that infinite space of Consciousness, ‘You have to go back. You have to do the Work’ communicating that my real work on Earth was to begin now. I called out, ‘Please I don't want to go back! I'm very happy here!!’ But the Lord, Supreme Consciousness had spoken, and it had to be. Right then, I saw a long flexible kind of tunnel which almost looked like a huge hollow umbilical cord. I could actually see the outside and inside of it. Inside it I saw the form of an unborn human baby, with golden, light-colored skin, curled up like a fetus against the inner wall. 'So this is the Cosmic Womb Tunnel,' I thought. It seemed to be coming from infinity and spiraling downwards. But as I looked at it carefully, I exclaimed in alarm, ‘Oh no, not again!’ when I realized that I was that baby, speeding down headfirst, as the curled-up fetus in this cosmic tunnel-like womb, I was crossing the dimensional barriers. I thought, 'Oh God, oh no, I really was going back into Earth consciousness to be reborn!' Next thing I knew, I heard myself let out a cry. I had opened my human eyes. They were looking in the rear view mirror of a car at a mouth bleeding profusely with the whole lower face covered in blood. In a complete daze, feeling totally disoriented, I touched the face in the mirror and realized it was my mouth! I thought, 'Oh God, I have a human body again! I really am back.' The lower gum-bone had been broken and lay flat on my tongue. The four lower front teeth had come out of their gum sockets but were still held by their nerves as they sat on my tongue in the middle of the mouth. Upon touching my face, I could feel tiny particles of glass from the shattered windshield all over my upper face and even my eyelashes, but none, not one, had entered my eyes. Miraculously, despite this gruesome injury in my mouth, I was feeling no pain whatsoever. There was no physical feeling at all. Such was the amazing divine compassion of the Lord! It seemed God had sent me back with the powerful anesthetic of His All-pervasive Cosmic Energy, which was keeping me unaware of any pain. I was still consumed within the Awareness of that bliss of Cosmic Consciousness, His Pure Love energy, and still immersed in that glorious realm of Light, and that Oneness.

@Frenk must be neutral because is void, nothingness, but I experienced with 5 meo and I remember that at the end, I had a strong bad feeling, like, only me exist and the nothingness, and there is no time, no movement, I'm stuck here alone in the eternity of the no time. But maybe it was the ego facing the void. Or maybe god realising that is the only being...anyway, was really bad feeling , but despite that, is a real thing experienced the void and the eternity. I did 5 meo again and I remember that just after I thought. Yes, true, I'm the only being in the eternity, but I'm love I love my self and it's no loneliness. But I'm not sure because after I sleep and next day I had zero remember of that, I only remember that I thought that after. Probably was part real part suggestion. My conclusion is that realized the void first time is traumatic , maybe more than the void, the eternal no time, but you could accept it after, meditating, integration, etc, and maybe is a step necessary before other realizations

Void and nothingness are all just definitions and pointers. When you get it, you will know, nothing can’t be defined for it is nothing. You’ll have to re-read my thread again. Yes, when you fathom nothingness this question POV will resolve. Just re-read my first post in this thread again.

I have experienced divine Love and noticed the dreamy texture of reality, but never experienced the Void. I'm going to work on this relentlessly Do you mean that the experience of nothingness holds the answer to the dreamed POVs? What's the answer to this dillemma in your experience?

Agree, COVID doesn’t exist for me. also I believe that it was a part of my path, otherwise I wouldn’t be on forum that much, therefore I will never get into Nothingness.

I have realized, not intellectually, nothingness. But I also realized that nothingness is everything. So to be one, is still to be ego, while knowing the truth. like Yin and yang. Oneness, has been revealed to me in this way. What say you to this? In other words, what happens after realization of nothingness in your view from relative/illusionary perspective? edit: for clarity

nothing has free will. emphasis on nothing. the ego appears to have the free will itself but it is only a lens of perception and a limiting array of possible choices. the nothingness is what has the freedom.

Uhhhh, have you not seen Leo's videos? That should be enough. This is "post-rational" stuff, if you're not Yellow, which you're not, it will just seem like some distant, abstract philosophy. Knowledge at this point is vague; based on many vague connections; and becomes increasingly more reliant on intuition. I have to say, you didn't understand my ~2k word essay, and what I'm talking about here touches on things that all need essays of their own . You can get the majority of the prerequisite knowledge from Leo's videos. But even then, you're not Yellow. That's kind of a big deal. It's like being a different species. I promise I mean no offence. Though it might be difficult for you to see that. Luckily, I've saved probably around a million words in essays I've written this year. Here's one that seems relevant. This is a summary I wrote to my introduction to virtual reality. It takes you step by step using logical derivations to show how there is no reason to assume matter exists. Designed to even be compatible with Blue. Note: Originally formatted for YouTube comments. Haven't proofread this. idk what this summary left out.. But it should provide the backbone for the abstract concepts you're struggling with. Had I known you're unfamiliar with Actualized, I would've started at a lower level. With this, you should be able to understand most of the common concepts talked about in Actualized, which should, hopefully, enable you to understand what I've been saying. Maybe this model alone will suffice.. Enjoy! 1. *Your entire reality is just your mind tell you what's "there".* If an object is small, the brain uses memory and other visual data to make you believe it's 'far away'. You decide to move forward, and you "feel" what you've "learned" to be your leg sensations, again just data. Seeing visual information update as you move just cements the illusion. If this is too abstract, just remember what video games are _currently_ : A. Updating visuals that form the illusion of space through visual consistencies. Is something far away in a video game actually far away? No, just made to look smaller based on your "distance" from it. There aren't that many ways to create "space", so of course video games are gonna copy RL, RL is like this for a reason, it works B. Controller vibrations. C. Audio D. Spatial audio. E. Pathfinding. What do you think's gonna happen when neuralink comes out? 2. *Things mostly seem consistent, so you treat reality as physical / actually being there.* You always get the data you expect, you've always believed you're in the physical, and since nothing changes, you cling to those old, ungrounded childhood beliefs. 3. *Life happens in the mind & you can't fully trust the brain's interpretation of anything* (as seen with how easily it can be skewed with psychedellics or simply your mental state) 4. *Since life happens ENTIRELY in the mind, even if there was a physical matter reality, noone's _ever_ been there & you will never experience it* . In life, you can only experience what your brain allows. (To experience a "physical reality" you'd have to stop processing all the sense inputs coming to your brain. That would, technically, be the "physical", but it wouldn't be a "physical matter reality", you wouldn't find life there. It would be a void. That's what happens when you "turn off the lights, all of them". Life does not exist physically, never has, never will. ) 5. *The brain is a creation of consciousness to define limitation* Imagine if humans started out with an average of 1000IQ, think they wouldn't have nuked themselved long ago? It's not the intellect we're developing here. This is the evolution of consciousness—but that's a topic for another time. 6. *Physical reality is not only unnecessary, but also theoretically inaccessible and, therefore, could not exist in any capacity* Reality is non-physical. Physicality can only ever be an illusion. Hopefully you understand by now that "Feeling and seeing" is not enough reason to consider reality physical. 7. *What did reality come from?* If you say _something_ , if you say _the big bang_ , you then have to explain where those came from, and so on.. *What did reality come from?* *What is reality made of?* Should be obvious by now. The answer is: Nothing. No matter what theories anyone has, it _has_ to always start and end with nothing. Everything else would require structures and explanations requiring more explanations. Nothingness is not to be confused with non-existence, however. Nothing is the only "thing" than can be "anything".

Monday 14/09/2020 00:20 Wonder if I'm going crazy or the point of any of it. Wondering whether I'm imagining and creating spiritual meanings and experiences where there are none. And whether there's just this nothingness. I've encountered this feeling before and each time it feels alien and dangerous. Whether I was muslim, atheist, or now "spiritual", the experience and feeling encountered is the exact same. Feeling lost, confused, sad and scared of meaninglessness and nothing.

Nah...theoretical knowledge prepared a good foundation for us to not be scary. We are ready for this and it was expected. But at the same time, feels a bit like denial or resilience. this stage shall pass, moving toward God like a rolling snow ball or avalanche. The funny is that I got used to being aware but had gaps in my day when I was loosing the observer and was falling asleep. now i will have gaps when I am the observer and nothingness. Lol. It makes sense to me. No mind , no thoughts, just pure being.

Exactly, when is just a raw being there is no one there to register the experience. When registering happens, “You”become the observer again. Still can’t fathom nothingness and everything as being a paradox and is all One!

@Mikael89 There is good friend of mine who told something along this lines. All thoughts are fear of nothingness. It's your job to discover what you really are and nothingness that you are. Who am I? is not really conceptually answered it is rather felt. You are actual Love.

Thats called awakening by learning, which is just ego. Because ego learns. But when you are awaken, direct realization with nothingness you will get what i mean. Awakening is not learning it is being, which kills the self (your learning part, because you exist as learning). At least you can lie yourself but dont lie or mislead others that you have awakening being one is like falling love peace!

When you experience nothingness, self breaks down into million pieces. You dont have an awakening. You just learned stuff. Awakening is not learning, it is being. And when you are being, self destroy into million pieces. Forget about arguing people, you wont be able to write from crying. Additionally, you like the people who goes into your way just dont lie to yourself, you never get the awakening. I just tell the truth. Don’t mislead with people with first lying to yourself and lying to others. Because you are me too. Peace!

Yea man, unfortunately From absolute perspective or consciousness no free will. You are just a fragment on nothingness. Whatever you do it doesn’t change anything, because you are just a thought. But dont look at from this perspective, yet you still think that you have a body now. Just try to get awaken first, don’t confuse yourself for now. Because for you there is a free will.

Realizing that your birth, entire duality is just a thought in nothingness, which is you and absolute (you). Imagine big bang, every particle created by nothing. Therefore nothing is everything, therefore everything is identical, because it is nothing. Additionally, big bang happened because of thoughts, learning and knowing. If you dont know nothing never happens. If you never learn, you never born.

@Inliytened1 Alright alright thanks^^. Mahasamadhi however is a different matter then? As if Nothingness stopped imagined infinity there would literally be Nothing left. (other than formlessness) In contrast to Mahasamadhi however, we would still be left if anyone goes into mahasamadhi, so it would be false to say that Infinity ends at the point of mahasamadhi. Thanks for being so patient

yes until Nothingness gets bored again

Why it's not making any sense to me is that I would not say that there is My mind or your mind but just Nothingness aka Self which is imagening all things. (Which is as you said our shared reality) And if everything truly would end there wouldn't be anything left at all other than this Nothingess which stopped imagening infinty/everything, or not?

By Infinity I mean all the infinite number of forms that Nothingness is imagening. (Formed side of Nothingess = Infinity , in my understanding) What I was asking was whether you think that infinite imagination will end when you merge into Nothingness/Mahasamadhi. As I see what many people is confusing here on the forum, me aswell, is how there can be anything left after the first person going into mahasamadhi, as Leo says "Everything ends" . So I don't get why there are any forms left when truly everything would end ? Hope that makes sense

Listen brother, I got your answer right here. @Dazgwny - please try to grasp this as best you can. The perceptions you “have” are not perceptions. The shapes, colors, sounds, and sensations that compose your life are not happening in your brain but free-floating in nothingness. That is consciousness. Your field of consciousness is the raw, unfiltered fabric of the universe. Everyone you “see” around you IS you, from that POV. Makes sense? Yes. It’s all “you” because you’re the entire field of consciousness but THEIR experience is just as real as yours. In the “absolute” sense YES you are alone in the universe. But SO IS EVERYONE ELSE. LOL You get this? It is actually HILARIOUS. Everyone IS real, what you are seeing is pure, fucking magic. It is one consciousness split into a house of mirrors. Each mirror reflecting the other. ❤️ In other words, LIVE. Live, experience duality, enjoy it. Life is incredible. A complete miracle.

@Galyna I'm reading it. A bit long gonna take some time. But I get the general idea. Moreover I don't believe in any spirtuial concepts at this point.. Call it awareness nothingness etc .. All of that ultimately should be transcended. It's an endless process of transcending delusion after delusion untill... Idk