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About SilentTears

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    Riverside, CA
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  1. @mandyjw The grail path came in the mail today! I’m excited to read and I would love to tell you what I think about it if you are interested. When you explained the book it really stuck out to me so I thought I would give it a shot Also, I apologize if you find it inappropriate of me commenting on your journal. >.>
  2. Riverside, CA, USA
  3. Thanks, @mandyjw. Also, I really enjoyed your response to Gili Trawangan. It helped me as well
  4. Thank you thank you *bows* also, I agree with me being fortunate in finding these resources to help me on my path. I’m very grateful that I’ve found everything that I have. Thank you for telling me this! Seriously, it helped shift my whole perspective on unconscious people. I always thought that they were just holding me back in a sense. I’ll try to be more open to the possibility of them helping me grow on my path. I like the mindset of “everyone is in your life to help you grow” more then just purging someone from my life when I see no conscious behavior coming from them. Heh, I always wanted an awakening. I guess I had this huge misconception that it would be all rainbows and unicorns. Lol. How do you suppose I integrate it? Just continue doing my spiritual work and contemplate it? Hey, I really like this saying. Nope, I killed my habit and now I’m starting up again with 20 minutes. It’s been kinda on and off this past month, but I’m gunna start trying to do it everyday again. Omg, this is a perfect description of what had happened to me! Thanks, I enjoy taking walks and going to this forestry area as it does help calm me. When I was going through that awakening doing this helped me the most. 10/10 would recommend for everyone. After getting into spirituality I did a huge change in my diet. I really cut out all junk food and tend to only eat healthy. This past month was kinda so so as I ate fast food and drank juice a few times but that’s really it. Thanks, and your guidance is appreciated.
  5. Age: 16 gender: male I found Leo’s videos through a friend. I got interested in spiral dynamics and saw more and more videos of his. Later saw his video on enlightenment and everything just unfolded from there. My biggest pain points in life are not being able to communicate with others about these things (example: nonduality, enlightenment, awareness, astral projection..etc...etc). <—-- I’ve mostly gotten over the need to communicate these things with others. Just sometimes I’ll see people being miserable and I have to stop myself from saying something to try and help them as I don’t have a way to communicate with them in a way in which they understand. Another thing is having emotional upheavals through doing spiritual work. Sometimes I’ll get an ego backlash or start to backslide and fall back into addictions such as porn, or talking bullshit with friends. In addition to all these I have my fair share of unconscious behavior which I try not to judge. My biggest strengths in spirituality are probably curiosity as well and starting out young to where I can learn many things without having to work through beliefs that hold me back. The feelings that don’t feel good that I experienced recently and quite frequently are extreme degrees of Loneliness. Loneliness has only recently come into my awareness, because I purged “toxic” people in my life. Not Necessarily toxic people, but just average people who go through life not doing any work on themselves or learning any of the things that interest me. I’ve mostly gotten through this to where I don’t feel lonely anymore, but I’ve just masked over it. I stuffed it in my closet . Yeah, I truly didn’t get through it. Just ran away. I tried multiple times just sitting down and facing it head on, but as you can see I ended up distracting myself with other things in life that wanted my attention. Another feeling that doesn’t feel good is misery! About two months ago I experienced extreme misery... words cannot describe this feeling. I don’t even know why I had this feeling. I tried to inquire but to no avail. It happened for about two weeks. Everyday I would experience the greatest love and joy from doing nothing. Everything was just so amazing and beautiful. But whenever this feeling faded I would get hit with misery. It went back in forth between love, joy, happiness, appreciation, fulfillment and misery. The misery was just agonizing. I remember curling up and just laying down for hours feeling miserable. It wasn’t sadness or loneliness or any emotion I’ve experienced to this date. The only word that fits to describe it is misery. Well, at this time I think that’s when I would meditate for hours a day and just sit down and do nothing most of the day. I wrote about the misery so I would remember and wouldn’t ever forget that. I wrote that I felt very groundless in this reality and that many things stoped Making sense. I found my notes right now and I discribed it as suffering. That fits perfectly. I was deeply suffering. Anyway, it all stoped when I quit doing my meditation and stoped sitting down for hours on end doing nothing. I got busy irl so it kinda just flowed. I wish I kept at doing my meditation but at the time It just didn’t work that way. I currently am just starting back up my meditation habit that I broke. I occasionally do self inquiry, shamanic breathing, walking meditation( from the book “the mind illuminated”) and just thoughout my day remind myself to be mindful and be present of the “now”. Currently I’m working towards an awakening, but I also have a lot of things I know I gotta work through. My greatest vision for myself is to be at peace, happiness and loving whenever it’s possible and even when I’m experiencing different emotions that may apear.... oh, you said “or” I’ll leave this as it is as I have already written it lol P.S. I watch your YouTube channel and I love it very much
  6. I would also enjoy this very much! I do think this will be a great learning experience so, thank you.
  7. This was a very interesting collection of videos... thanks for sharing. Leaves me with a few things to think about... not about the war, but more about why I would rather have love and commission be given to mr.alien. Makes me wonder how deep and meaningful of conversations we could have had if an enlightened master spoke to mr.alien. *cough* not that the alien is a “he”
  8. Thank you for sharing, I really enjoyed the video :3
  9. Wow! Thanks for sharing. Seriously, this is some great stuff. I have been working on my own personal "happiness guide" where I include all that limits my happiness and what improves my mood/attitude towards life. I just want to say that this really helps me get a new view towards my whole approach and this will be very helpful. Hahahaha when I first read this it gave me a few laughs myself. Keep it up!