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@Nivsch There's a lot of errors in your chatgpt prompt. In Iraq for example, a lot of civilian deaths were from the anarchy, trauma, and sectarian hysteria that ensued. Suicide bombings alone account for 20-40% of civilian deaths, according to the same AI you used. That's not even taking into account roadside bombs. For afghanistan you have to account for these things too, and according to the same AI you used, roadside and suicide bombing accounts for 50-60% of civilian deaths. It also didn't account for the indirect deaths from sanctions, decreased infrastructure and resources for basic needs, care, increased poverty, and all these other sorts of things. Which raises the death toll and accounts for a lot of preventable deaths. Which is another thing that can be compared, and one where the U.S. did terribly in.

@Leo Gura I see what you mean by keeping these discussions separate. Unfortunately, my fear and avoidance of relationships stems from my attempts to escape deep pain and suffering caused by being trapped in abusive situations. My suicidal ideation and attempts were accompanied by me thinking about the hopelessness of being stuck with my family. This is actually a common trauma response to abusive relationships. I'd rather die then end up in a situation like my girlfriend committing suicide to leave me a single father with a child who hates me and blames me for her death and therefore develops severe behavioral problems leading to criminal activity like mass shootings. My attitude toward relationships needs to come from a place of reduced fear and avoidance. They prevent me from giving and accepting love. I remember I told you I was deeply wrong in terms of my attitude and approach to relationships in general. My family has shaped this attitude in a deeply negative way while on the surface pushing love out of social conditioning. I'll consider dating like my therapists recommended next year after I meet my current goals. Where did you learn about relationships and what is your general attitude? Will you make videos on building healthy relationships in the future?

My .. the girl I'm with is hinting at committing suicide if I leave her. What do I do?

Sometimes you invest your energy into wrong sources. There's nothing inherently evil. Just what I believe. ................................. Samadhi works but through the gateway of good and evil. ................................ I'm looking forward to integrating purity into my practice. Also I want to stay away from the world in general. I think that spiritual communities can cause a ton of harm. ................................. I don't know what made me write this. But I write it with a heavy heart. Like any other thing that comes with it's own set of pros and cons, spiritual communities aren't exempt from drawbacks either. I'm not specifically talking about forums although forums are a fraction of it. I'm just saying communities in general. I have reached a point where I'm seriously contemplating whether being a part of a larger community is really worth it if the results aren't really there and if things are just getting worse with the illusion that you're on a spiritual path and you are achieving something when in reality millions of people with mental and physical problems turn to spirituality only for bypassing their real issues, are barely able to cope through life and end up being and doing worse when they get on the spiritual path. They start to rot and lose interest in life and daily activities once they begin to live in a solipsistic bubble. Instead of thriving, they start rapidly degrading. The consequences can be anywhere from suicide to mental illness to death or just living like a zombie. I'm sure people in the past have also expressed such a sentiment on this forum before. It's a routine thing, not to mention the problem of false teachings. Things that degrade your mental well being or just take you on a path of disillusionment. You gotta do the math yourself. Are you in this for the better or are things genuinely not turning out to be the way they should. I was barely 9 years old when I first started with spirituality. I haven't come very far because life came in between. I devoted a significant portion of my life in chasing delusions (let's put it that way). I suffered autism at a young age and in my preteens I was obsessed with spirituality and religion. I always thought I was looking for something, searching for something, there was this existential crisis like thing going on with me. I was often at my wits end. Don't get me wrong. I derived a lot of benefit from this forum itself. Leo's teachings, his videos on personal development were a great starting point. But there's a problem. Everything is not so hunky dory. I still think that I suffered a bit in the process and not in a good way. It's like "invited" suffering. I don't know if this is the inherent nature of spiritual work. But I went through phases of insanity. But so far not so stellar results. I have significant mental illness. I don't know if that's interfering with my spiritual stuff. One thing I casually noticed in spiritual communities is the huge problem of spiritual ego. People fight a lot over what's right or wrong. There's a certain dogmatism that accompanies it. This downgrades the whole spiritual process significantly. This is not alien to any community, it's to be found in every spiritual community. Be careful with what you decide to put your energy into. I have suffered significantly. What principles should an ideal spiritual community adhere to? I think these are the principles I came up with that in my opinion a spiritual community should be able to reflect. Uplifting each other Keeping harmony Polite behavior Reduction in negativity Encouraging open mindedness Healing each other Non judgement attitude Peace keeping Thoughtful debating No one-upping No cult like rules Respect for everyone Working on behaviors Video conferencing and meet ups. Face to face interactions are better Flattened hierarchies No us versus them narrative No messiah complex Discouraging gaslighting Encouraging extensive communication Discouraging dogmatism Fostering understanding and mutual harmony Showing love Embodying values Working on integrity and character Fostering forgiveness Fostering mercy Fostering kindness Raising each other's vibration Encouraging emotional maturity Keeping community tight knit Cutting down spiritual ego Providing a safe space Not preying on vulnerability Extending support to people who suffer more Having a judgement free zone Fostering compassion Dissolution of separation Fostering Unity Empathetic environment Minimum use of power Encouraging free expression Valuing one another Not demonizing Embodiment of love One of the key foundations for life is self-awareness. Understanding ourselves, our strengths, weaknesses, values, and motivations – is crucial for personal growth and development. Self-awareness allows us to make informed choices that align with our authentic selves, rather than being swayed by external influences or societal expectations. It provides us with the clarity and insight needed to pursue our passions, set meaningful goals, and cultivate healthy relationships. Another essential foundation for life is resilience. Life is filled with challenges, setbacks, and disappointments, and resilience is what enables us to bounce back from adversity and continue moving forward. Resilience is the ability to adapt to change, overcome obstacles, and persevere in the face of adversity. It is a mindset that embraces challenges as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than insurmountable barriers. gratitude is a foundational value too, that enriches our lives and enhances our well-being. and define our purpose.. A small insignificant model I can follow everyday is the principle->action->outcome. Everything starts with a principle. Have a morning ritual or a morning habit. One thing that really gives me a kick are animal videos. Animals and predators in hot pursuit of prey. I work in a yarn factory but I need a better job with slightly more income. I don't plan on hoarding wealth, I don't want to. I want to spend a lot of my time doing spiritual stuff. But I sometimes wonder if developing a core foundation of my life will give me better prospects for higher stuff. Yesterday I gifted myself a diary so I can write a bit about my struggles with autism and foundational stuff. I'm thinking about going on a retreat in a log cabin. I just wish to shut off everything for a while. How would that life be? I want to maintain some early morning rituals. Focus music. I need to ask myself productivity based questions. One is achieving the flow state. I also need to consistently raise my standards on how I want things to be done and prioritize my mental state to always have an optimum state of mind and a state of flow. So the first thing definitely was principle>action>outcome. Entering flow states. Name 3 random positive actions I did today. Name 3 directed positive actions I did today. Name 3 powerful insights that you had today. Name 4 excuses that you gave today. If there's an outcome then there is success.. We do things because we want to see changes in ourselves. Sometimes we don't have the resources to do so. Sometimes we can't make good of the resources we already have. Some part of this forum is really esoteric. I don't understand some of the terms or should I say language. It can be confusing and sometimes misleading. You have to come down to the nitty gritty of things. I believe that reality is beyond our grasp. And if something is good for you, it will always be good for you. You won't have to regret it. Focus on what's traditional or basic. What works for you? It's your own greed that makes you chase your own tail? Don't be in the habit of always wanting more. Give more, take less. But take whatever is constructive. I'll contemplate on this. This forum is full of Spiritual Ego's and not in a healthy empowering way, if you notice the questions raised repeat themselves many times over, your not real, life is imaginary, God is all there is, sort of stuff, it really gets one nowhere, its someone just philosophizing in away, and philosophy is not so good to identify with since there are presently 8 billion different philosophies in the world today, everyone has one,, It basically our Intellects going out of control, this is rampant all over he world in many different areas of life, it will kill all of us eventually if we don't stop it, first within ourselves then world wide hopefully someday.. Just work on yourself, improve everyday in one area, drop a limitation every week, soon there will be none left... Just work on yourself, improve everyday in one area, drop a limitation every week, soon there will be none left... I can work on other areas of life. And i do a good a job at that. I don't want to lose my basics. But I'm looking for the cherry on top. Been looking for years now. Still a little destabilized while looking for it. Lucid dreaming does help me a shit ton. But I need something more rigid. If there's a 1% growth in my mental state, clarity, presence of mind, flow state, productivity, spiritual essence, minimalism, consciousness, infinite love, vibration and healing quantum that I'll admire that sort of an interaction. Positive affirmations for Foundations I have had a 3 % increase in my productivity in last 4 days. I have had a 1% increase in my productivity in last two days. I'm busy building my foundation. What are you naturally drawn to? What's your inner monologue? Cut down materialism completely You don't need anything at all.. Your mind is supreme. You need nothing material. Your mind doesn't cost money or any material possession at all. Your mind is a canvas. And this is the biggest advantage at your disposal, your own mind. It's like clay. You can shape it anyhow you want. Positive affirmations for Foundations I'm not broken. I'm a vessel of hope. The world tries to break you with its rules. Ironically this brings you closer to yourself. Reality cannot be controlled by humans or man made laws and so all these rules to discipline (especially without love) are futile. They will never work and they increasingly come from an egoic place. The world and it's contents don't help you discover the soul, it sabotages the soul and breaks the vessel mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. You're living the wrong way all your life. Saying thank you before eating. That helps because I'm feeding a vessel. Everything, everyday, eternally The purpose of the vessel is to connect with God. This doesn't require anything. I'm not sure if I'm going into esoteric blah blah. Anything that builds your vessel is good. Anything that breaks your vessel is bad. Kindness builds the vessel. It's simply surrendering to the absolute essence of peace. Nudging my ship forward bit by bit. Not trying to conquer anything. I don't want to go into paranoid states. It was literally the worst state of mind to be in. It made me become the worst version of myself. Literally. Posted on May 18. 2024. I want to build my foundations. I definitely want to. But at the same time I want an ardent spiritual practice to occupy a prominent position in my lifespace. I don't even call it life anymore. I call it lifespace. And heck I wanna do a lot of visualizations. This space wakes me up in a heartbeat. Nothing to worry. All chummy. I began living deep in the forests, high up in the mountains, somewhere in a log cabin. And suddenly I felt disconnected from all of reality. It was like eating dark chocolate. The lucidity of thought. The thoughtlessness of reality. Reality snowballs into a thick fog of meaningless traps that serve nobody's purpose.

@A Fellow Lighter I want to make it clear, with as much compassion as possible - you are not responsible for the actions she takes in her life. Most people who want to commit suicide don't actually want to die - they just want to end their current circumstances. Usually due to frantic, overwhelming, distress & pain. They see no other solution but to self delete. There is always another solution. I hope this knowledge releases you of some feelings of responsibility. You sound entangled with this women. We are each responsible only for our actions in life. We choose how to respond. No one else. You can let someone like this down gently by making them realize you are not qualified to help. Need a professional. <3

This will be an analysis of a incident now in court from a spiral dynamics perspective Summary: Richard Bilkszto was a fill in principal attending a anti-racism training for the Toronto District School Board. The sessions were led by Kike Ojo-Thompson, founder of the KOJO Institute. Bilkszto alleged that Ojo-Thompson told educators that Canada could be considered more racist than the US. Bilkszto, who had previously taught at a high school in Buffalo, New York, completely disagreed with the suggestion and called out Ojo-Thompson, who allegedly lashed out at him. During a follow-up session the next week, Ojo-Thompson allegedly brought up the argument again. Bilkszto claimed that after he reported Ojo-Thompson’s alleged misconduct, the school board failed to look into it, appearing to side with the instructor. The Workplace Safety and Insurance Board (WSIB) eventually looked into the matter and found that Ojo-Thompson’s conduct “rises to the level of workplace harassment and bullying.” Then, following a six-week medical leave later that year, the district refused to reinstate his contract, which Bilkszto claimed was a result of either his fallen reputation or as retribution for having the WSIB investigate the incident. Richard Bilkszto eventually committed suicide and his family blamed the backlash and reputation harm as the cause. In my opinion this event shows many examples of a society transitioning from stage orange to stage green and what to expect, I will explain with further details of what happened: 1. Traditionally in a stage orange society most non-political institutions and companies actually avoid taking front facing political stands, focusing instead on donating behind the scene to causes. Due to the stage green transition of workplaces however companies are taking a public role in declaring alliances and directly educating their workers in their beliefs. This is resulting in conflict as older, stage orange employees aren’t used to direct ideological assertions they are forced to attend, as seen here in the principal, a 60 year old man, arguing with the educator. For example, A recording of her presentation which was verified by a Canadian journalist has more detail on Thompsons arguments for why Canada is more racist than the USA. She brings up an example of Canada’s Monarchist tradition as evidence for its racism. Claims like this would generate disagreement from stage orange, because Britain outlawed slavery decades before the US civil war and Canada’s creation. This however misses the stage green perspective the educator is giving that is about the symbol of the monarchy and colonialism itself, not the specific circumstances. 2. Stage orange is individualistic, as a result they tend to argue from the perspective of what was said rather than who is saying it. Stage green is collective and prioritizes advancing knowledge about structural and class issues. This can be seen in how specifically the principal and educator disagreed: Bilkszto was reinforcing the stage orange perspective by challenging her claim. This creates friction because the stage green perspective is that he is centering himself as someone with racial privilege over someone facing racial discrimination. The education they were receiving was not supposed to be open debate. 3. Stage green puts the collective over the individual. In a stage orange society normally it maintains traditions of often standing by someone you know even when they do wrong, or at least remaining silent. However stage green evolves to focusing on collective harm, and the transition includes greater emphasis on openly engaging in the criticism. This can be seen in how Bilkszto’s coworkers reacted: Bilkszto himself was let go after this event, he claims allegedly because of the accusations of racism. This is an extremely important survival mechanism for stage green collectivism, because an individual’s backlash against it can spurn further backlash, so all defensive mechanisms need to hastily stand against it as a warning to anyone else considering joining the backlash. See here, a stage orange journalist reporting the story expresses disappointment no one has publicly come out in support, likely to avoid facing backlash themselves. 4. Because stage orange is individualistic, generally it looks at events as more local to exactly what happened and maybe examples of more directly related factors, in this case stage orange people have been criticizing the school board and using this event as a negative example or anti-racist trainings in general. But similar to how collective stage blue will extrapolate further based on individual events (ex using a minority criminal as an argument against the minority as a whole), stage green views events from a wider lens. In this case stage green reaction to this event was to coalesce around the educator and push back against attempts to reform or reduce anti racism trainings in the future, because stage green prioritizes anti racism trainings (as a push back against racism in general). See the response from a Toronto MPP on Twitter: For further examples, a group of activists, students, and teachers have come out saying they are worried this event could hurt anti racism education initiatives and have produced a list of demands for the school board to affirm its anti racist stance and funding. sources: https://www.thefp.com/p/a-racist-smear-a-tarnished-career-suicide?utm_source=tfptwitter https://nypost.com/2023/07/24/ex-canadian-principal-who-sued-board-for-bullying-during-anti-racism-training-dies-by-suicide/#:~:text=A former Toronto principal has,more racist than the US. https://quillette.com/2023/07/21/rip-richard-bilkszto/ https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/hamilton/toronto-principal-suicide-weaponized-rhetoric-1.6928122 What is your opinion? Is my analysis off or wrong? What is the solution?

Been feeling directionless for a few years in regards to life purpose. I attribute my lack of success to being stuck in my mind for most of my twenties (27 now), suffering through a percieved depression and suicide ideation. I'd say I'm fairly receptive now but still find myself in depressive episodes everynow and then. I feel like Im ready to drop my past completely but Im having linerging doubts about whether or not its actually possible to live a mentally healthy life after experiencing years of depression and suicide ideation and specifically, creating this deep emotional victim identity. I'm wondering if theres anybody out there that has felt they've actually grown past their old depressive selves. If so, I'd love to hear from you. First off, is it possible? How bad was your mental state? How do you feel now? How does your life look like? Do you ever "relapse"? What are some practical things you did that actually made a significant shift in your perception? But above all, is it possible?! I've been reading some reddit posts of people saying they're in their late 20s or early 30s and have no purpose or depressed or gave up or this or that in hopes of feeling better but I find it feeds my pessimisim even more. I'd appreciate any response from anybody. Any thoughts at all. Thank you.

She is playing the suicide card. I had my ex do that to me that caused me to be with him twice. It caused me a lot of suffering. Don't fall for it. It's a huge red flag. When it's time to leave make it final.

I'm angry that she's playing the suicide card with me. She's so selfish. Her selfishness is the reason I want to leave her in the first place.

Serious chronic health problems that have no solution. Or very old age. I read about a case of an Iraq war veteran who got so badly wounded in battle that he could not walk, could not sleep, was in constant physical pain 24/7, had to be taken care of by a nurse every day, and had to shit in a bag because his intestines were too damaged. He lived in hell for several years, his girlfriend left him, no doctors or medicine could help him. His only realistic solution was suicide and so he killed himself. That to me is a legitimate case for suicide. Not getting laid is not. You don't even realize how good your life was until you have a woman to constantly deal with. You will be begging to be single after a while of girl drama. Sex with the same girl will soon get boring. And many other factors will diminish the quality of real-world sex: from problems with timing, to girls who are bad at sex, to condoms, to pregnancy scares, and more. Of course sex is nice, but it's not as nice as people make it out to be. Don't forget that sex ain't free. You'll be paying for it somehow. Usually with crazy drama. You will have to deal with all sorts of girl nonsense just to get that sex. Some degree of that is okay, but it does get old after a certain point. I'm not saying don't pursue sex or relationships. Pursue it. But don't exaggerate its importance to your happiness. A day will come when you will wish you were single and free. When you finally realize your need for girls was largely a fantasy of your own making you will finally find some peace and happiness. Don't confuse horny excitement and drama for peace and happiness.

Somewhat unrelated, but: What would be a reason to die? Is there a set of circumstances that would seem reasonable for suicide in your world view? And adjacent to that, I’d like to know how you reconciled yourself with all your physical health issues. Because you seem to do better now. I could listen to a lecture video about that topic.

Thank you for sharing, I used to be like you, I also wanted it all, suicide was a daily idea, but I realized the more I wanted the further away from that which I wanted I placed myself. The universe does not understand or respond to language as much as it does frequency. See when we say "I Want" we are letting the Universe know what we "don't have" and then because the Universe is your reflection, Creator > Creation, so to speak, It will give you more of that which you don't have because you are validating that which you don't have by saying "I want". See there comes a moment in life when we have to stop wanting and praying for god to help us because it rarely happens that way, rather god wants you do make the change within yourself and literally change to see the change around you and your life. We have to be the God/Goddess we are and make that first step, because the universe is simply a reflection of our inner-world. You can try create some daily affirmations and state them out loud daily and behave as if they are already true and exemplify them into actions. I Am, I have, I am grateful, I am worthy, My life is great, I am greatness, all the things you want, change the way you say and feel about them. Imagine you already have them and are them all, fake it till you make it, it works, but you gotta keep up the consistency. As above so below, as within so without.

This saddens me to hear so much...💛 It's heartbreaking that such a beautiful mind could feel this way. I’m so sorry. Keyro is amazing - or rather, the person behind this account is! You are awesome 💗💗💗 I’m certain many people in this community feel the same way about you. I really hope you find some light soon... We’re all here for you. Sending the biggest, most vibrant omniversal psychedelic hugs your way. This is just a random thought... but if your goal is to be formless yet retain memories, physical suicide might not be the path to take. Perhaps finding a way to make your life flexible enough to explore all kinds of psychedelic and mental planes would allow you to feel more free (?) Your mind is very creative and fluid - it’s no wonder this current reality with a human body feels limiting... Either way, please, please, please contact someone before doing anything irreversible, don't be too silly of a goose 💓🐥

Exactly. There wasn't a plan here. There was a helpless feeling of suffering and self deception. She stated that she wanted to commit suicide already right? But this was a way of going out that made more of a bang. It was selfishness but also it was lack of love and communication. Had this person received the proper guidance, love, and tutelage then she probably wouldn't have committed suicide in this manner and took others out with her. Suicide happens every day it's just then when they decide to take others with them it becomes a big story.

I wonder if he would say the same about suicide.

What is the number one thing repeated in all male suicide notes? "Useless". Men need to feel useful like how women need to feel included. If not they can't survive or reproduce. Its the only thing Andrew Tate is right about.

It’s not just western. Russia for example has a very high suicide rate even among young females i think. And not just attempts but success. And many European countries are very safe and have very low school/shootings/killings etc.

@Ishanga @Breakingthewall glad you guys agree . The only caveat I would say is that unfortunately one has to learn this the hard way . They have to fuck up and try hedonistic desires before they realize that that whole approach just doesnt work .they certainly need to awaken to this. im very happy that im happy ..its like im drowning in an infinite sea of love that will melt me. I asked before Some people on reddit who think that happiness is derived from material factors such as wealth... But if it is so..then why do we hear celebrities and wealthy businessmen committing suicide? Because money does not bring happiness. .but up to a certain point beyond which it has no significance. If you are a fortune 500 CEO.. a lottery of $1,000,000 will not amount to much increase in your happiness. The reason I made this thread is because achieving everything that we desire in hope that that's whats gonna lead to happiness is the way 99% of ppl approach happiness.. and not by going inward and find inner peace. Because the classical spiritual teachings in almost all spiritual traditions is Realizing that happiness is totally an inside job (so to speak) and happiness does not depend on anything outside yourself. You need to cease creating miseries and unhappiness for yourself (also an inside job) and find the spring of causeless happiness within. But the first step to true happiness is realizing it is an internal thing (within you) and not an external thing (outside and around you). Otherwise..you are always looking in the wrong places for it (. in the world and not within yourself. 🙏

I don't know if this is against forum guidelines, but I need help. I can't hang myself and need a good idea for how to die. Please help. I should and I simply need to. My life cannot work anymore. I lost everything and am not in circumstances that allow me to be mentally healthy. All ways for how to do that are gone.

"I like myself as a person" but "I hate being alive in this human life"... How about we get clearer on what it is that you hate, which is weaving your never-ending suffering. 1) Reality in front of you, experience --> No. I'm certain you don't give a fuck about what is actually happening - speaking from experience. All suffering is spun in the mind and it is always referring TO the mind. Your feelings are never actually referring to reality (good to contemplate). 2) A general idea of yourself as a person --> No. Alright. Ideas and fantasies are cool, but what about actual you? 3) A general idea of God --> No. Okay. What about actual God? 4) "This human life with its immense suffering" --> Supposedly this. But what is this actually referring to? I guarantee it's not reality/experience - again, if you observe you can notice that you're never actually hating reality which is real life. You're hating YOURSELF. But what are YOU? Really think about it. What is it that you hate? You say you hate human life, but what is "human life"? What are you referring to? Is it not YOU? You're confused. You don't even realize you hate yourself. Hatred is not just hating the idea of yourself as a person. You don't hate the idea, but you hate YOURSELF! Your idea of yourself is detached from the reality of you, same as your idea of God from actual God. You like the idea, but hate the actual thing... Seriously, think about it. What do you hate? And what are you? See above. You like the idea of God as some emptiness or whatnot, but hate yourself and disregard actual God right in front of you. "I want to die so that I don't have to suffer"... Brother. You'll stop suffering once you start to want to LIVE. By hating yourself, resisting and wanting to die you are only INCREASING your sense of self. Resistance is the ultimate "fuck you" to everything and closing yourself in your shell, away from God, peace, happiness. As long as you want to die, you will be suffering. You are getting exactly what you want. You're using your intention for this. HATING YOURSELF. Decide to change your intention NOW, if you REALLY want to LIVE IN PEACE. I know it's a leap, but you can make it. As above. Your intention is bringing you exactly what is supposed to bring. You want this and you're getting it. So become clear on your intention and motivations. And then change if you want. "Immediate relief"... yeah. The time to change this attitude is now. Until you don't stop banging your head against the wall, you will be banging your head against the wall. Why not stop now, instead of after 100 more hits? The time is NOW. End your suffering NOW. THIS lifetime, not a future one. You have what it takes. Your "problem" is purely spiritual. Start NOW and you'll be better of in no time. Get clear on your intention and you'll change so fast it'll be miraculous. In fact, you'll feel the effects immediately. --- I see myself in you. I went through some dark fucked-up periods where I had no hope and was also hating EVERYTHING. I had my suicide walk to a bridge. I destroyed items from my past, all my notebooks, photos, etc.. I fantasized about stabbing myself all the time. You have a sincere heart. I believe in change. And I believe in you. #NoMoreLifetimes

Hello. I'll be blunt in hopes that this can wake you up a bit. Listen to yourself. What are you even saying? "I hate myself" and "I want to become one with God". This is LITERALLY a contradiction. Pure misunderstanding. Really see this - YOU ARE DELUDED. You do NOT want to become one with God, BECAUSE YOU HATE YOURSELF. "I fucking hate this stupid human life". No, no you don't. What you hate is yourself. You don't give a shit about life (reality), you hardly ever really look at it, you only care about you. Or, more precisely, you care about hating yourself. Stop kidding yourself that you want God. Your hatred is so great that this couldn't be further from the truth. The thing you think you want is exactly the thing you're fiercely rejecting to the point of wanting to kill yourself. You have a vague fantasy of this "God" you dream of which is just that - a fantasy. You are delusional. The actual God you are rejecting with all your might. And no tripping will help you, because you are trying to use it to escape, therefore further spinning in your resistance. I guarantee you 100% psychedelics won't help you long-term because you're going to use them with the intent of "dying", escaping yourself. Really, you SHOULD give it up. It will NOT work. And you will not really kill yourself because you want what is happening. See: That's the crux of your issue right there. You want all of this happening. On YOUR terms. Which is exactly what you're getting and why you're suffering. Nothing you try will work because you're clinging fiercely and only using everything to resist further. The more you act on that intent, the more you suffer. But you can stop. --- If you want some relief, I'd suggest contemplating what I said above. Be honest with yourself for once. Your motivations are delusional, you think you want God but you're just fooling yourself. You only want you. How about you stop trying to erase yourself? Because the more you try, the more you there is to erase. And suicide is an idiotic "solution". Do you seriously think you can "reset" your energetic system with killing yourself physically? Like, does this make sense to you? You REALLY believe this won't just happen again if you end it like that? Listen man, I get you. I really do. I was going through this shit as well. Long periods, more than once. See this for example, from barely 3 months ago: When you're honest with yourself about the truth of you and your motivations, some knots should be untied. Really, you're just completely misunderstanding yourself. And I get that. I wish you well. I recommend talking to yourself. Split yourself into two - you who hates yourself vs you who'd like to live in peace, harmony, with God. And come to an understanding through dialogue. Best written in a journal, or spoken out loud and recorded. It's fun, try it. I developed the technique on my own. The two halves should both change somehow, it's not just about changing the "bad one". Talk to yourself with patience and an intent for compromise. And if there is genuine understanding, there appears the space for genuine behaviour change. I also recommend just having the intent to live in peace. I am 100% sure you never actually wished for peace. You only wished to escape, resist suffering and fight yourself, therefore exacerbating the problem due to your intention being fucked. If you really want freedom, wish for it, out of a pure heart. Cry out for it: If this resonates, you can DM me to talk further. I'm open to you and I wish you well. Good luck. With love, Sincerity

Just like most things humans are so easily corrupted and abuse things like SD. Like some of the Neville Goddard groups on Reddit which I will not go into too much, they just want to make a quick buck out of you. And the mods will block you if what you say does not conform to their own teachings even though what you say is true. I am a pisst off at Reddit Go and FYS. I detract myself from the r/NevilleGoddard group for good. They actually downvoted me for writing this and hid what I wrote. The saddest thing is it happened. So I wrote this and it did happen. Trust me on this manifesting it;s all hogwash a lie. Can you imagine a scenario where you manifest an X back and everything you imagined turns out wrong and you get engaged just before Christmas and you come home with her and two hours later you go to bed and she has committed suicide in your bed you try to revive while calling the paramedics? She had only been gone for 5mins and paramedics tried for 4 hours to revive her but they never did. And you manifested straight from Nevil Goddard's teaching fck you and NGoddards teachings. And most of these must be kids downvoting you and others grow the fuck up. I doubt any have done psychedelics and tried to manifest in God mode. It's all bullshite all of it. They could not manifest a wet dream if they tried.. What they should do on Reddit is for a week show the ones that downvoted you then you would know who your real friends are. This is why their system is so broken it;s all about dopamine hits and Wow I got 1000 upvotes. I am so beyond that prepubescent adolescent guff.

Nazism takes root in radicalized minds, it's not that people become radicalized because they adopt Nazi ideology. I recently read a book by a former Nazi that explains this. It’s a process similar to that of terrorists and other extremist ideologies. It’s highly likely that any given Nazi, had they been born in Afghanistan, would have become a suicide bomber. The mental structure is the same, they have radicalized minds, see the world in black and white, are highly charged emotionally, and don’t stop to consider the shades of gray.

It's complicated, because there is so much of it from so many sources that I can't easily label it as one specific condition. I've suffered from deep shame and deep abandonment wounds all my life. The past 7 years I've suffered from PTSD and bad anxiety. The PTSD has morphed and shifted over time, getting worse and worse, and at this point I'm in an extremely severe state. I spend probably 3-5 hours a day stuck in anxious thought loops, and it's been like that every day for the past 7 years. I am extremely sensitive, even the slightest bit of disapproval, sense that I did something wrong or made someone not like me, it REALLY hurts and I can't stop thinking about it. I get overwhelmed easily leaving the house and going to new places. It's extremely difficult to get any work done. I don't have a job or anything so I have all day every day to work on things, an I can only get 1-2 hours of work done a day (if even that) because of constant thinking, and having such a strong need to distract myself. Every little thing in my life causes me pain. I remember in one of my ayahuasca ceremonies, I had this vision of me looking at my to do list, in such deep anxiety and suffering, only because I was stuck in an anxious thought loop over the way my to-do list was formatted - like the order that the tasks were in, etc. There is just so much tension and suffering over even the smallest things, and it's been like this day after day for 7 years The worst thing of all is that over the past year I've dealt with really bad heartbreak from a girl (we never got into a romantic relationship but I still got really attached to her). What makes it so bad is experiencing that heartbreak through the lens of all of these emotional issues I have. I got so addicted and attached to her because I needed her as an escape from my emotional pain so badly, and of course that drove her away and made her want nothing to do with me, and that heartbreak has been hell. That has been the absolute most difficult thing I've ever dealt with. I cannot get over her. It drives me insane every single day. I fucking hate that I have to be alive in a world where I have to be without her. On top of that it drives me crazy that I'm 24 and a virgin. I'm a horny guy and I wish I could have sex so badly, and it makes me feel so inferior and emasculate that I can't attract a girl. Again, experiencing that through the lens of my horrible emotional state makes it 1000% times worse/more painful. Knowing that there's guys out there that get to fuck this girl I want more than anything, but I can't, and I have to stay in my situation and suffer. On top of that I'm $30k in debt, almost bankrupt, can't work because of my condition, I'm stuck living with my mum who I do not like at all. . . Throughout these 7 years, despite how ridiculously difficult it's been, I've always felt like it was there to grow me, and so there was always a part of me that was still somewhat on board with life, despite how bad things got. But over the past year, it's gotten so bad that it doesn't feel like just a challenge anymore, it feels like pure torment and cruelty. It feels like some sick, twisted hell that is torturing me and I can't get out of it. It's gone too far. I've become so exhausted, burnt out, and sick and tired of my situation, that I absolutely despise life at this point and I have no desire to live. I do not like being alive, I don't want to be alive, I don't consent to being alive, I'm alive against my own will. I want to be dead. I don't want to participate in life, I don't want to 'play the game' of life. It's all gone too far and been too much, I'm just done with it, and I have been for a long time, but I keep living. I've felt this exact way all year. I remember saying these same things to myself during a time in May when I got really burnt out and suicidal. I barely managed to convince myself to keep going, trusting that things would eventually work out. I kept going for a few months, then got really burnt out again in August, and for the first time I attempted suicide multiple times. I came to the unfortunate realization that it's a lot harder to kill myself than I thought, especially when I'm not 100% certain I want to do it. So I eventually decided to keep going with life. Then I did ayahuasca over the past few months, things got so much better, then I lost all my results when I got home and now I'm back in the same situation. So throughout this year I REALLY have been making an effort to make things better, despite how much I don't want to keep living. The fact that nothing has changed up to this point and I still want to be dead as much as I did at the start of the year, it just makes it even more convincing to end things. I hate being alive so much and have such little desire to participate in life, that it makes me want to say: if anyone reading this wants me to keep living, then YOU do something about it. I know you'll say "take responsibility for your life and your situation, other people aren't gonna hold your hand". But that assumes that I even want to keep living or try so hard to improve my situation. I'll do what I can to improve my situation if it's not too difficult and doesn't take too long, so I'm not totally helpless, but if it's going to take years of grueling work, then forget it. It's my right as an individual to not participate in life if I don't want to. That often feels like the only sense of control I have over my situation. I don't care if it's cowardly or not right to do something like that. I just don't care anymore.

@Tristan12 I recognize that you have been in a state of mental torture for a long time. To be honest, I don't know enough about your emotional problems to help you. I would need to ask further questions. Are you willing to list as many of these emotional and mental problems as you can? How exactly are they impacting your mind and thoughts? What are the feelings and judgements you have of yourself? What are the concrete patterns you recognize in your mind when you observe yourself? Are they accompanied by life stressors like work and relationships? If you doubt your value and self worth, then I want to start by saying you are helping others and providing value weather you realize it or not. You might believe that your suffering was meaningless and is not providing value to anybody. In reality, reading your post has actually helped me. I myself suffer from many emotional problems. Sometimes I thought that psychedelics could help me and I have considered doing exactly what you did to yourself. You have shown me that I can't fix my emotional problems through these means. You have helped me to see a trap that I could have fallen into myself. Seeing as you can help others despite your deep suffering, this is proof that others would be hurt if you killed yourself. I want you to find meaning despite the hell you go through on a daily basis. May I ask you what is your life purpose and how did you discover it? How did you try to work toward it? I struggle with life purpose myself and you might be able to help me by showing me how you did it the main reason I considered psychedelics was because I thought radical states of consciousness could help me recontextualize my life, thus giving me a new perspective from which to approach life purpose. I believed that life purpose would give me the strength to accept my suffering and push through it, giving me reason to live. Meaningless suffering is what pushed me to suicidal thoughts as it has for you. I feel the need to challenge what you said here. You say that you are back in the same situation as before, but I disagree. First of all, you discovered what was possible and experienced relief although temporary. Secondly, you are now wiser to the reality of using psychedelics to fix your problems. Furthermore, seeing as you observed your mind going back to the same place, you can recognize that you are not in control of what your mind is doing at the moment. This is significant because you mentioned shame earlier and it may have something to do with the idea that you should be in better control of what your mind is doing. Your suffering is preventing you from achieving what you think you should be doing or becoming who you should become. Common in therapy is to recognize these should statements, although it is probably exhausting hearing this over and over again. I have been suffering for a long time too and from a lot of different things. I did a lot of journaling, self observation, therapy, medication, emotional mastery and so forth. I still struggle, but I did make enough progress to help others based on the wisdom I accumulated through my journey. You are on this journey too. I want you to take stock of the wisdom you accumulated along the way. I tried therapy and it wasn't as helpful as I hoped. There are many incompetent therapists unfortunately. I ended up just reading many books on emotional mastery and psychology. I had to do so much research that I ended up knowing better than these therapists and I recognized there mistakes. Most of my insights come from self observation, but I have made significant breakthroughs in research to. They have helped me recontextualize my trauma responses so I could work through them. For you, I don't know what kind of trauma You carry or struggle with. This depends on further information. I want to offer you whatever value I can. Suicide can be tempting when you seem to be stuck in meaningless and hopeless suffering. I would never wish this upon you. I don't know what you need, but at the very least I see value in you even if you don't see it. I wish you the best. Please don't kill yourself.