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As I been continuing this path of spirituality for 10 months now I've realized many things about myself, the most important being I'm a doubtful person. I came into this path with absolute love towards finding the truth and reconnecting with being. The first video I've seen of Leo's was called "What is Enlightenment" and without having any background knowledge about the ego or nonduality, the first time hearing Leo talk about the no-self had put me in utter tears because of how much sense it made. It's like I found what I've been searching for without consciously knowing that this is what I was on the hunt for my whole life. Within this period of 10 months, there were times I prioritize the truth over everything else. But needless to say that didn't last for a very long time, it would come in dosages and often times wouldn't last long. I would say for the past 4 months now that drive for the truth has become less and less, and I took the action steps to not let myself fully fall back in that loop by meditating and doing the hand exercise daily but I just can't seem to find that desire that made me want to move forward. I believe this is due to my constant habit of doubting myself while I do this exercise. Like Leo says you don't need to sit in a quiet room to be aware, you can apply awareness while going about your day. My only problem is when I'm trying to fully observe my surroundings and self there is always this voice in my head saying "you can't do this, it's too hard, you already went about your whole day not being present so there's no way you can do it now" I know this is my ego feeling threatened and trying to pull me back but it's just so hard. I have the tendency to give in to these doubts and sometimes they became so consistent and maintain such a strong emotional charge that I seem to adopt the belief system that I'm not capable of becoming conscious of the present moment. It's like once I become aware that these doubts are only here to serve the ego and push me off this path another doubt comes in my mind justifying my previous doubt and it just creates a chain and I feel helpless. All my life I was used to underestimating myself and doubting my abilities, that I was never able to accomplish anything. I have so many insecurities about myself that it's become neurotic, but it died down more as I began this journey. I still haven't missed a day of mediation since I first started even though many time's I have horrible sessions and my ego is constantly telling me to give up. I just need advice from you guys on what to do. I'm scared to fall off this path due to my doubtful ego. This journey of increasing my awareness is the only thing in my life that's ever felt real, I've had such beautiful glimpses that made me cry for hours of how appreciative I was and yet in disgust of how low my consciousness is and how I allowed myself to get here. This path is hard, it requires discipline, big-picture thinking, self-love, and a vision. I'm just afraid of my tendency to underestimate myself will prohibit me to create a concrete vision of why I'm chasing the truth and how I struggle to allow myself love due to my constant guilt of being at the state of consciousness I am. Thank you to anyone who ended up reading all of this it means more to me then you can imagine I usually never write on the forums but I felt like I had to as I'm in the midst of a backlash.

In terms of LSD, a mini dose for me is 30-60ug. Sort of. Yet the way you phrase it is too heavy on the horizontal timeline, which includes desire to change, intention and seeking energy toward a place on the timeline. That dynamic is present, yet not so heavy on the timeline. There is also a strong ISness component within the vertical line of Now. There is a balance. In terms of the human story, my first few trips expanded my mind and awareness more than anything in my life. There where some whacky components, yet it was the nondual experiences that resonated with my mind-body and there was a shift of seeking energy toward that nonduality. Over time, that seeking energy lessened as nonduality and duality became integrated. My dosages and trip frequency decreased a lot. Baseline consciousness increases. So in a sense the psychedelics don’t change anything, since whatever is is. The mind-body gets very good at recognizing it is in a “somewhere”. It starts to become second nature. Yet in another sense, psychedelics do change something - it is going from one dream to an inter-related dream. So psychedelics are needed similar to how a plane ticket is needed to travel to China.

GoT has many cool hints at archetypes, nonduality and consciousness, GRRM seems to be on to something That is probably part of the reason it has become so successful. The Faceless Men always reminded me of a Zen Monastery, the only part that is fantasy is that they are assassins that kill for money and are literally shapeshifting You enter through a door of black & white, leave your personality behind and train to become nobody, and you are beaten with sticks in the process The hall of faces reminds me of the net of being, just portrayed with a little hellish touch^^ When you are no-one, you are everyone!

So now that you have become one with God, are you going to follow God's Law or your law? How can you be sure that you won't fall into delusions if you decided to follow your own law? Or you don't care? @cetus56 @Leo Gura @Conrad Just asking, cuz i've read a lot of nondual books, and I realized that it is different. When you guys speak of nonduality. And when the sufis speak of nonduality. Even when Jesus speak of nonduality. It's not the same. Depends on what God is to you. The Point will be similar, but actually different. I'd say the opposite. What u make out of it. Careful not to fall into these; I am saying this to those that have read sufis works. Surah Al-Anbiya' (The Prophets) 21:106 Verily in this(Qur'an) is a Message for people who would (truly) worship Allah. 21:107 We sent you(Muhammad) not, but as a Mercy for all creatures. 21:108 Say: "What has come to me by inspiration is that your God is One God: will you therefore bow to His Will (in Islam)?" 21:109 But if they turn back, say: "I have proclaimed the Message to you all alike and in truth; but I know not whether that which you are promised is near or far. 21:110 "It is He Who knows what is open in speech and what you hide (in your hearts). 21:111 "I know not but that it may be a trial for you, and a grant of (worldly) livelihood (to you) for a time." 21:112 Say: "O my Lord! Judge You in truth!" "Our Lord Most Gracious is the One Whose assistance should be sought against the blasphemies you utter!"

What about the communication style of the forums do you notice? I lurk but don't post a lot. Create environment that is indusive to being insane? Depends on your version of insane. High creativeness assisted by psychedelics has helped people. Could be insanity but if it helps go for it. Communicating within high awareness individuals who have suffered psychosis. I don't claim to have a high awareness but I have suffered psychosis. Sane, crazy, and insane probably the average person on this forum to someone with low consciousness. Psychotic in my experience is a whole different animal, personally did not experience nonduality or anything along those lines.

A dog is still dual. For true nonduality you need Catdog

@Conrad Great work! Welcome to nonduality, where two become one

I'm able to watch whole 6 hours about nonduality... if you can appreciate what's he talking about you can find that much more interesting... Without Leo I'd be stuck in stage Blue/Orange for my whole life... He has helped me with integration with both masculine and feminine... he has helped me with finding (no)meaning (aka being) in my life... without Leo I'd be such a different person...

Nonduality though... is it his or yours?

I was talking about the elements with my wife yesterday as we sat by a river swollen with ice melt. I've spent far too long deconstructing the classical elements, creating connections and drawing lines where they shouldn't be drawn. Take all of this with a grain of salt, as it probably spits in the face of the classical understanding of the elements. I also understand that some of this is spoken from a dualistic mindset. Please bear with the dualistic terms and apply them in a nondualistic way in your mind. One thing I've known for far longer than even the start of my spiritual journey is that I identify with the Water element. I am a Cancer sign (although I don't currently put much stock in astrology). I spent all my formative years on the ocean's shore. I work in view of the same ocean, and it calms me. My first foray into meditation involved staring at moving water, either a babbling brook or the waves on the shore. Water flows. It's loving, life-giving, and predictable. However, it's also harsh when needed, being able to weather down the toughest Earth. Water flows through all living things, yet is simultaneously one of the most dangerous chemicals known to man. It dissolves more minerals than any other liquid that I know of, including harsh acids. Its density with respect to temperature is a crazy curve where it actually expands as it freezes. And somehow, it's one of the few molecules that is naturally abundant in all three states of matter: solid (ice), liquid, and gas (vapor). Water is often seen as a feminine element due to its life-giving properties, but men can harness this power too. There are generally four classical elements in the wheel: Air, Water, Earth, and Fire (some models have Wood or Metal added in as a fifth element). When the four classical elements are unified, they represent Aether (sometimes called Spirit). Aether has been called many things throughout history: void, magic, mana, the Force are all representations of Aether in one way or another. Aether can also be considered responsible for things like paranormal activity, ESP, etc. It's the element that binds all things in the universe together. The four classical elements have been broken down by many others. I'm no expert. But I feel like something is missing. Nearly everyone has a dominant element in their lives, in my opinion. There may also be a secondary or opposing element that contests with the dominant one, but most people in tune with themselves should be able to say which of the four elements they represent with some clarity. What happens when two elements work together? I apologize if the above image is hard to read. Many people have combined the elements together in this way to explain how things "feel." Wet is Water + Air, while Water + Earth is cold. Fire + Earth is dry, and Fire + Air is hot. This... somewhat makes sense, but to me, it's a bit boring and doesn't really dig into how things interact. What if you're a Water personality, and you're dating or married to an Earth personality? What does this mean? Does it mean your relationship is cold? I don't believe so. I came up with a different elemental wheel. Fire + Air = Lightning Fire + Earth = Metal Water + Air = Ice Water + Earth = Wood If a Water (emotional, life-giving) personality combines with Earth (solid, foundation), you get a nurturing relationship like Mother Nature. If a Fire (Impulsive, expressive) personality combines with Air (Intellectual but fickle), sparks tend to fly. This is a good picture for neighboring elements, but what about opposing elements? I haven't seen much material about how Fire and Water personalities interact (I'm sure it's out there) or Air and Earth personalities. I think a lot of people simply believe opposing elements are incompatible. If you mix fire with water, the water turns to steam and the fire is smothered. Air and Earth are as different as Night and Day. But when you push past these boundaries, I feel like you can tap into something far greater and deeper: Air + Earth: Holy Fire + Water: Arcane Holy and Arcane, two elements we see used all the time in video game or television media, but are never truly explored in our own lives. We tend to see these elements as "magic" or otherwise unobtainable, but each of us has Good and Evil within them. Nonduality tells us that Good and Evil are all the same, but in this example, Good aligns with Holy, and Evil aligns with Arcane. I'm not saying Fire and Water is a demonic combination that only brings out the worst in people. Instead, it can be a combination that allows people to examine their Shadows, fully realize the deeper and darker parts of themselves, and utilize that knowledge. When used carefully, knowledge of evil can be utilized for great Good in the world. However, this goes even deeper. Once someone has truly tapped into their potentials for examining their Arcane and Holy side, they then can begin to explore the Aether. Some people achieve this by opening their chakras, others through meditation and enlightenment. The Arcane and Holy could be looked at as Shadows (Id) and Personas (Ego), the repressed and visible aspects of our psyche. But we need to fully understand and deconstruct those things before we can reach the next step. I am Water. My wife is Fire. Without Shadows, we can never see the Light. How far can this go?

Okay maybe it wasn't stellar but that doesn't matter. Elon Musk isn't some social wizard and he did good on Joe Rogan's podcast. Just because you don't like the nonduality tip Leo is on doesn't mean Leo doesn't have friends. Personally I am not into nonduality because I feel I am not ready for it and regular self-actualization is very challenging for me. He doesn't have to live to your expectations. You don't know his plans and shit he discussed about his actualized.org tour.

@Leo Gura Currently on nonduality ep 3. Thanks for the great content Leo.

What is there to say? Yes, you can learn to astral project and visit other realities. Many books have been written about this explaining it all and how it is done. If you are serious about it buy those books and train to do it properly. But pursuing nonduality would be a better use of your time.

With relativity and nonduality, anything is true if you want it to be. And also false at the same time.

@abrakamowse Perhaps a thread bringing the nonduality out of all religions would be eye opening.

This journal is to help organize some of my thoughts about myself and the people around me. I encourage, no, request that anyone with insight jump in. I appreciate constructive criticism and feedback, and I know that simply talking to myself will not get me where I need to go. I know this because that's what I've done for the past ten years. Some background: Ten years ago, I went on a spiritual journey of sorts. It wasn't as deep as many of those here, but it was a start. I took a hard look at myself, my beliefs, my thoughts, my knowledge and threw it all away. I learned an important lesson during that journey: From there, I've tried to build my belief system from the ground up, accepting truths from many sources. I've spent a lot of time in my head as I've delved into a myriad of topics on a theoretical level, from Tarot to BDSM to public speaking and leadership roles to politics. I've tried to keep an open mind about all the things I've come across, although I can't say I've accepted everything I've heard as truth. That would be crazy. The problem is that I've had a lot of theory and almost no practice. I've never meditated, as I have a hard time shutting my mind down. I've attempted to several times in the past few weeks, but I never really felt like I had achieved it. I have a hard time accepting nonduality as a final state when duality is so useful in describing non-spiritual matters. I have a massive ego based around the knowledge I've gathered as I wish to be right more often than wrong. And I hate talking about myself, instead focusing on helping others. So this journal is going to be tough for me. I've never kept any sort of journal before, so I doubt I'll be able to write here daily unless I'm replying to people. To that end, I would appreciate any tips on how to start. Is there something that has spoken to you recently that you feel might help me to focus on? Are there any truths you wish to share? Feel free to post them and hold me accountable. I realize I am close-minded still about some things. This forum may not even be a great fit for me as I disagree with Leo's methods in many ways. But it's a start, and we all must start somewhere. I am willing to learn. Please teach me.

If nonduality is a part of your enlightenment, then you know that your path is my path.

@winterknight Exactly. To whom is it occurring. And you'll tell me that it isn't me. It isn't Paul. There is no Paul. There is no Shaun. There is no Buba. I don't have parents. You don't exist. My friends don't exist as real entities. It's all just God consciousness playing with itself. So how does therapy help at all? Therapy is designed to help people handle and process their emotions, particularly those which are suppressed. But they're not even my emotions, as I don't exist. It seems like such a huge paradox. On one hand, suffering goes away when you can accept that you don't exist and everything is 'as is'. But you're saying we needn't face this alone, and we need therapy to process and understand our emotions, which are probably all purely egoic and illusionary. Ultimately, it isn't my choice to pursue therapy/enlightenment or anything. Everything that happens is preordained. It's God playing with itself. Or life is a dream. Or a memory etc. Whatever interpretation we want to put forth on any given day. It's frustrating because everyone here is thinking that they have a choice in what they do next, which is egoic in itself. There is no you or me, just God that is experiencing itself. Paul isn't typing this, apparently. Or is he... I've asked a thousand million times on this forum how I might have misinterpreted nonduality and I just get word salad. Everyone says how it makes you more compassionate and loving when you reach and nondual state... you can't make yourself do anything... everything that happens, postivie and negative just happens. If I think another person is another person and is a knob, then I didn't think that.. God did! @Shaun @Buba Appreciate you looking out for me above. Wish you both the best and would always love to help in return (if Paul can, of course, as he doesn't exist...)

@Preetom Nope, not really. Becoming increasingly convinced that nonduality is not the answer the more I go down the rabbit hole. Check this forum out. Nobody has a clue what they're talking about. It's full of paradoxes. Sure, I'm open to investigating it through the practices. But something is telling me that this just isn't the answer. It can't explain everything. . The OP made a very good point but it seems a lot are caught up in a spiritual ego and will just dismiss anything and everything.

@luckieluuke thats awesome man. Trust me it's worth it, all this world will turn to be a complete illusion eventually. My path went like this; Baptist>Pentecostal>non-denominational (Christian spirituallity) >leo>Buddhism>advaita vedanta. And now moving into nonduality I'm starting to see how important it is. I wouldn't even say it's "important" as if it should even be questioned as non-important. It is the only thing that exists!

Reality is not non-dual Reality is dual Reality is fragmented Fragmented into so many tiny pieces Pieces, things made up of things, and more things That can not be explained, or known, or understand All forming one reality But reality is dual so there is many uncounted things in Existance Since reality is only many things, Reality does not exist, it is only the sum, the total of all that exists. And there are many totals. So a total does not exist. Reality is an illusion Existance, is an illusion For what existed formally does not appear now or enter our senses. Concuousness, is just a mechanical system done by your brain. However, no one can say that Existance or non existance exists or does not exist. It can only be known through concuousness. And you cannot say you exist or not as a body because you cannot say if anything is a thing or not a thing. Because it could exist or it can not exist. It can only be known through concuousness You can not know if concuousness exists, or not But you are conceous. Yet concuousness is the only one thing to be known to exist. Nothing else Yet everything exists So what's the difference between concuousness and non concuousness And who's to say that anything contrasts with Existance. There is not a thing that contests Existance So it is eternal it is infinate It is one, it is all It is whole and the sum of the parts In what it is. And who's to say that there is a distinction between the reader or me The typer and you Anything and you Not and you It is all I I

@SQAAD Bingo. My thoughts entirely. Nonduality seems very shame based to me. The 'you' or 'ego' is very shameful. So we must shame it. Does shame cure shame? I'm not sure. If you weren't meant to have a sense of self, or a thinking mind, then you wouldn't. Simples.

No! You guys still do not understand distinctions. Distinctions are NOT mind made! Distinctions are NOT concepts nor thoughts! Mind is a distinction. Made is a distinction. Concept is a distinction. Thought is a distinction. Enlightenment/nonduality does not eliminate distinctions. Elimination is itself a distinction! Instead, you just become conscious what the true nature of a distinction is. So, what is a distinction? You have no idea. Contemplate. Maybe it's not anything

I think 2g offers a good range. If after an hour, it feels strong I would just relax, let go and go with the flow. If it feels underwhelming and the mind-body wants more, I would “participate” in the trip. It can take some practice, yet it sounds like you have experience in some deeper levels of awareness and nonduality. When I’m on a light trip just a bit higher than threshold, it may appear to be underwhelming. Yet this can be a powerful “transitional” zone. Work with and and boost yourself up and explore. Sober, it can be difficult to get into these spaces, yet in a light trip it is much easier - if you are in tune with it. In this zone, a mind can ground itself in “normal” reality or take itself into a nondual mystical state. During one trip, I was walking in nature and it felt like I underdosed. Yet then I entered a er mystical state and was like “Dang, I just did that”. Then I ran into a maintenance worker and snapped back into “normal” reality to have a brief conversation. Then, I snapped back into the mystical state. It was super cool and helped me to develop this ability sober (albeit to a lesser extent).

@Lister read Hegel and get back to me. Plenty of philosophers at that time had a grasp of nonduality. I'm using "enlightenment era" to mark a certain time in philosophy in the 17th & 18th centuries because I'm trying to make the distinction between how idealism often came to be understood in say Ancient Greece where they had cults like the Eleusinian Mysteries.