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About nikkikc

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  • Birthday 12/22/1999

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  1. @d0ornokey Thank you! I will definitely look into it
  2. @whoshearts Yes it definitely is habit-forming, especially knowing my personality (which loves to overdo anything that feels good) but also I think it's a good way to test how well I can deattach myself from a stimulus that enhances posititve sensations. Your response was very helpful! Thank you for your knowledge
  3. Redwood City, California
  4. Hey guys, I have a quick question about micro-dosing with LSD. I have experimented with LSD and mushrooms a couple of times now and there were trips where I had felt absolutely blissful & also trips where I reexperienced all the hidden truths about myself that I tried so hard to avoid. I was thinking about micro-dosing with LSD but I'm not sure if it will actually promote long term benefits in helping me increase my consciousness or will it end up serving as another distraction that I run to, in order to escape my psychological problems. I was wondering what are the overall benefits of microdosing with LSD? Can it help with consciousness work? How often should it be done? I would love to hear your suggestions and if you guys ever tried micro-dosing with LSD?
  5. @-Rowan Thank you, Rowan, for taking the time to write the pros and cons list, it was extremely helpful. I've taken it into consideration and feel that learning from a professors expertise would be nice but then again Leo's videos provide you everything you need to know about transpersonal psychology. It makes me feel conflicted because I don't want to attend a regular university and learn a western form of psychology for god knows how many years, but it's a big deal for my family if I don't get a degree. I'm diffidently going to look more into it and inform you if I find anything.
  6. @Leo Gura Thank you, Leo! I'll definitely look into it.
  7. Hey guys. Next year I'm planning to transfer from college to a university, and I'm struggling to find a school designed for studying the teachings of East-West psychology, spirituality, consciousness studies, and anything related to self-actualization. I know a lot of my time is going to be invested in school, so I might as well use it to my advantage to grow. I'm more shifted towards schools in the California area and my major is psychology, so far I found one school called CIIS. If you guys have any suggestions I would love to hear them. Thank you & much love x
  8. @Toby Thank you so much, Toby! This was extremely helpful
  9. I was wondering if any of you guys knew any good consciousness seminars, workshops or body healing in the Bay Area/ Silicon Valley area. I have been interested in this for the longest time, but anytime I'd search for it online I would struggle to find any high-quality places that are in alignment with Leo's teachings. Much love to you all x
  10. Thank you, Conrad, for your advice. I wish you the best aswell
  11. Thank you Robi, I completely agree with you. I do have low self-esteem and a strong tendency to be hard on myself until I see results. This neurotic approach of punishing myself till I get what I want has never worked, it will never work. I'm just chasing my own tail here. "As soon as your trying to stop it, you are defining yourself as if there was something wrong with you in the first place." That sentence itself really resided in my mind. You are completely right, I'm bringing these doubts to life by giving it my full attention and energy.
  12. Thank you, that was beautiful advice
  13. @The Blind Sage Thank you, I truly appreciate every piece of advice you just gave me. I'm really going to take it to consideration and apply it to my life. It gives me hope that you went through the same conflicts as me and still maintained committed to the path. I tried the schematic breathing 3 times, first time for 30 minutes and the second and third time for 45 minutes. I didn't see much of a result with it, I saw some emotions rising up but it went don't quickly. I also felt more present but that also died down after a few minutes. It might be because I have asthma, I'm not sure.
  14. As I been continuing this path of spirituality for 10 months now I've realized many things about myself, the most important being I'm a doubtful person. I came into this path with absolute love towards finding the truth and reconnecting with being. The first video I've seen of Leo's was called "What is Enlightenment" and without having any background knowledge about the ego or nonduality, the first time hearing Leo talk about the no-self had put me in utter tears because of how much sense it made. It's like I found what I've been searching for without consciously knowing that this is what I was on the hunt for my whole life. Within this period of 10 months, there were times I prioritize the truth over everything else. But needless to say that didn't last for a very long time, it would come in dosages and often times wouldn't last long. I would say for the past 4 months now that drive for the truth has become less and less, and I took the action steps to not let myself fully fall back in that loop by meditating and doing the hand exercise daily but I just can't seem to find that desire that made me want to move forward. I believe this is due to my constant habit of doubting myself while I do this exercise. Like Leo says you don't need to sit in a quiet room to be aware, you can apply awareness while going about your day. My only problem is when I'm trying to fully observe my surroundings and self there is always this voice in my head saying "you can't do this, it's too hard, you already went about your whole day not being present so there's no way you can do it now" I know this is my ego feeling threatened and trying to pull me back but it's just so hard. I have the tendency to give in to these doubts and sometimes they became so consistent and maintain such a strong emotional charge that I seem to adopt the belief system that I'm not capable of becoming conscious of the present moment. It's like once I become aware that these doubts are only here to serve the ego and push me off this path another doubt comes in my mind justifying my previous doubt and it just creates a chain and I feel helpless. All my life I was used to underestimating myself and doubting my abilities, that I was never able to accomplish anything. I have so many insecurities about myself that it's become neurotic, but it died down more as I began this journey. I still haven't missed a day of mediation since I first started even though many time's I have horrible sessions and my ego is constantly telling me to give up. I just need advice from you guys on what to do. I'm scared to fall off this path due to my doubtful ego. This journey of increasing my awareness is the only thing in my life that's ever felt real, I've had such beautiful glimpses that made me cry for hours of how appreciative I was and yet in disgust of how low my consciousness is and how I allowed myself to get here. This path is hard, it requires discipline, big-picture thinking, self-love, and a vision. I'm just afraid of my tendency to underestimate myself will prohibit me to create a concrete vision of why I'm chasing the truth and how I struggle to allow myself love due to my constant guilt of being at the state of consciousness I am. Thank you to anyone who ended up reading all of this it means more to me then you can imagine I usually never write on the forums but I felt like I had to as I'm in the midst of a backlash.
  15. You're absolutely amazing, thank you for this.