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  1. How do you manage to sit without moving? Doesn't your back hurt? Do you use some pillows?
  2. The title of the journal reflects exactly how I've been feeling for over two years now. An existential crisis, no joke. I know that if my life would suddenly become challenging I would immediately get out of this rut. And sooner or later I will. It's a fact. I don't know if others have this same issue or it's just me. I cannot concentrate when there are a lot of people around walking / minding their business. I am talking about my colleagues. The thing that bothers me is that I cannot commit on talking / interacting with them, because I have to work. Besides, I have an issue communicating with them since it's not my mother tongue (a childhood trauma that makes me much more shy than I usually am). It feels like they are stealing my energy and my attention. And then I cannot focus on my work. It's so frustrating. I've talked to my boss and asked about the possibility of working remotely. He said that's impossible. Even though there are a couple of colleagues who do this. Screw that. Such a fair workplace. I will have another meeting with him tomorrow to put an end to my sufferings. Until then, peace!
  3. I wonder what are you doing on the dates that they reject you. Could you describe what are your actions?
  4. Are you sure she has no expectations of your relationship? Maybe she actually likes you and she is just being jealous because you went to see another girl?
  5. What do you mean deeper? I guess you are suggesting that it's broader than just writing a book? And what do you mean by it being strategically right?
  6. Do you think you could be just friends? Also, wanted to say that it's awesome that you've had the courage to tell her about your feelings! Unfortunately, this seems to be a rare phenomenon.
  7. Why don't you ask her directly why has she texted you if she said she isn't interested? Perhaps, she's afraid to lose you as a friend. Also women often like when men like them, so maybe she wants to get your attention even if she's not interested. Just my own thoughts. Doesn't mean that that's the case for you.
  8. That's an interesting point. I know that I am, for instance, overly empathetic in life. And I do notice that this doesn't actually help me - it hurts me. But I would like to hear your definition of empathy as a negative trait.
  9. That's exactly what I notice for myself. I think it's the ego playing tricks on us.
  10. Thanks for such a detailed list @Pelin ! The thing is, I love to eat. You are saying you can eat as much cheese as you want. Well, see, I can literally eat like 200 grams of cheese if I am hungry enough. Together with the eggs and a salad. Of course, I would feel quite full after it, but I will still eat my lunch, only later than usual. I don't eat grains usually. Only occasionally and if there's nothing else available. But I am huge lover of fruits, so I could very easily overeat on those. Do you consume any fruits at all?
  11. @Emerald How did you feel during these days? Were you feeling constantly "hangry"? I am afraid that would happen to me, because that's how I feel often (because of high carb diet, perhaps?).
  12. Frankly, I haven't heard anyone mentioning that by eating fat you would get fat. At least not in the paleo and keto circles (could be I hang out at the wrong places?). In fact, all I hear is that you can eat as much fat as you want and it will be all right. Oversimplification. As usual.
  13. I am trying to switch to a low carb diet and I was checking the macro contents of parmesan cheese. It seems that there's 0 grams of carbs in it. I am wondering how much is too much of parmesan? Can you eat any amounts of it without getting fat? This doesn't sound logical, but I hear from the low carb/keto community that fat is not a problem, carbs are.
  14. Programming in a software company. That's what I studied for.
  15. I see where you are coming from. I think the way to deal with this is to keep exercising, but at the same time doing actualization and spirituality work. I had (and pretty much still have) very similar thoughts. That's why at some point I stopped doing things one by one. Right now I am pretty much lost (an existential crisis?). If you have time and desire to exercise it's a shame not to do it. Imagine how many people hate exercising and if you don't then hey, you are the lucky one. Keeping your body fit and in a good shape can only help on the path to self actualization. Of course, if you later decide that there are more important things to focus on, then sure, just drop the exercise altogether. But if you are able and willing to do it now, it's just silly not to do it. Whatever the motivation behind it. Just be mindful of it.