Lila9

Member Apolitical
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  1. Beauty is power, and power corrupts people. Any power corrupts. Being pretty, rich, charismatic, holding some power position in society, or being uniquely talented and smart, all naturally corrupts people. One has to have values, character, self-awareness, and introspection to transcend the human irrational urge for corruption. Not many can do that, men, women, we are all equal in our ability to be corrupted. If you disrespect pretty women because they have power in society and act entitled to special treatment, you should also disrespect rich men, charismatic people, handsome men, uniquely talented individuals, and anyone who holds power in our society. If you only disrespect pretty women while respecting men who are wealthy, handsome, or have high status in society, despite their entitled attitude, then I would suspect you have an issue with women having power, and that in your eyes, they are only worthy of respect when they are powerless in society. Maybe you have resentment towards pretty women because you have a belief that you don't deserve an attractive woman or because you can't get attractive women. You also can't blame the fact that pretty women hold power in society on the women themselves, as there are men on the receiving end who value their beauty. As long as men value pretty women, pretty women will continue to hold power in society. Men will never cease to value pretty women, therefore, the power of a woman's beauty is ethereal. Instead of being bitter about it, accept it and do better. You also might be surprised to realize that holding power such as beauty, wealth and charisma is not always nice and rosy, there is a dark side to it. When people hold some power in society, there will always be people who would like to hurt them, compete with them, take their power from them which can turn their lives to hell, because of ill human emotions such as, insecurity, envy and greed. If you would like to learn about the dark side of being a beautiful woman, I would recommend you to watch the movie "Malena" which demonstrates well the dark sides of being a beautiful woman. Women jealous of her because she is beautiful and men are angry at her because they can't get her, which ends up in, ironically, being treated bad by everyone and it turns out that her power becomes her biggest misery. Therefore, the most rational approach would be to provide a basic human respect to everyone, because we all humans, and at the same time, see people as who they are, beyond the power they hold in society, beyond their beauty or wealth, try to get to the core of their character and core values, judge each one individually. You might be surprised how intresting and complex people are when you are curious about who they are and let of of your bias and prejudice you might have. Beauty, wealth, charisma, intelligence, talent, status, are smoke screens to people's true character which very, very few people can see through.
  2. I tend to separate the art from the creator. I don't know if it's good or bad. I might dislike an artist but be drawn to their art and vice versa, I might like someone as a human but be bored or disgusted by their art. It's perfect when I admire both the artist and their art. However, obviously there is some connection between the artist and their art, otherwise they would've create it. I just don't automatically unify the creator and their art, it's like seeing a parent and their child and assume they are the same person or judge them as one.
  3. I believe you. I'm sorry you went through this. It's common to forget traumatic events from childhood. My siblings recently shared some traumatic experiences they remember from childhood, experiences in which I was present, but I don't remember these at all. I'm not a trauma expert and I wish I had some professional advice to give you. I can give you an advice as an individual. My advice would be to take care of yourself, physically, mentally and spiritually, take the time to heal, might sound like a cliche but you're not alone, I'm wishing you the best. Love.
  4. Depending on the situation of your family, if the situation is really bad and you really need money, starting from any job, even if it's a simple and low income job would be better than no job. Doing anything that can improve your life is better than doing nothing. I started to work at 16-17 with the mere purpose to help my family because of poverty. Every day, after finishing school (or not, sometimes I ditched it), I worked in a landuary which involved a lot of physical work with a low income (was paid with cash and had to chase the manager to get paid, otherwise they forgot to pay) which was the only job that I was accepted to at that time after unsuccessfully trying to get hired to places like coffee shops and supermarkets which offered a better income. I was 16 but looked like 12 so it makes sense I wasn't easily hired but at that time I was very angry and frustrated because of that. Regardless, me working, even in a low income job, helped my family a lot and helped me to develop myself personally, to mature, built my confidence (overcome low self esteem and social anxiety), work in a team with people and manage money. It gave me valuable life skills which was the foundation to better workplaces later in life. Later, I combined the laundry job with being a private teacher of children who weren't good at school, which gave me both money and satisfaction because they got improved and their parents were very happy about that (they spoiled me with more money and gifts to express gratitude). At that time, the most important thing for me was to survive, I didn't care about anything else, I was grateful for any opportunity I had to get money.
  5. This is boils down to the cultural norms you grew up in. I grew in a country in which it's normal to smile to each other, talk to strangers anywhere, invite them to your home and offer help and receive help, this of course comes with the downsides of people wanting to be too involved in your life, being more direct with you and having less respect to personal bounderies, tribe mentality, obsession with togetherness and the demonization/fear of loneliness which can be toxic and destructive as some amount of loneliness is healthy and is a human need as much as togetherness, it's all a matter of balance. When I visited Eastern Europe a couple of years ago I had a slight cultural shock because of the strong bounderies people put with strangers which was perceived for me as coldness, apathy, indifference, on the emotional level, despite people there being very kind and warm once they know you/trust you. I noticed that in those places smiling to strangers is precieved as weakness and even as a sign of stupidity, foolishness, immaturity, manipulation. Exposure of positive emotions in public, seen as weakness and a negative thing. That's true, but on the other hand, you do responsible for others well being and others are responsible to your well being to some extent. Because we as humans influence each other and depend on each other, that's how we have survived until now, the idea that we are completely separate from every person is illusory. Sometimes smiling to a stranger can be a matter of life and death to this stranger (or to yourself, if you need help). I don't think that people should smile to any stranger, we don't know who the stranger could be, every stranger is a potential pederator. But I also don't think that there is something wrong with smiling to strangers if the situation is appropriate. There are mental health benefits for smiling, either giving or receiving it. It's easier, mentally and emotionally, to be in an environment in which people don't do issue of smiling and do it more often rather than people who rarely smile. It's more mentally and emotionally healthy to grow up with parents who smile more often, rather than parents who do it rarely, same with friends, romantic relationships, neighbors, your doctor, any authority in your life, given it's a geniune form of smile and not fake/manipulative. Of course a smile needs to be perceived as genuine to have a good effect, fake smiles and toxic positivity may do worse.
  6. I had reoccurring dreams about bathrooms too, that's intresting that other people experience this as well. In my dreams I had to go to the toilet but it's either very dirty, broken or damaged (damaged door/lock, toilet) transparent (with strangers around me), or a non bathroom which was converted to be a bathroom but actually looks like an office or a bedroom with improvised toilet and anyone can enter it at any given moment, not being aware it's a bathroom now. After a search in Google I found that dirty and broken toilets symbolize feelings of shame (like Judy said), feelings of embarrassment and repressed feelings, various toxic and self destructive thoughts, emotions, beliefs that the soul wants to get rid of in order to heal, thrive and develop. These dreams are a sign that our psyche invite us to look into it, and as you said, be aware to our emotional unresolved trauma in order to heal ourselves. I can say that once I started be more aware of my trauma and heal it by working on radical self awareness, self acceptance and self love, with the aid of frequent journaling, combined with yoga and breathing techniques in the last two years, I don't remember dreaming those dreams anymore, the last dream I had about bathrooms was me using a clean bathroom which now I realize as an indicator to my progress in my self healing journey.
  7. Set clear goals for each day and follow them (doesn't have to be big, can be as small as organizing your space and do laundry), be aware of the information and the content you consume online and elsewhere and limit it, stay away from negative people and negative energy, meditation (especially mindfulness), yoga, physical activity, being in nature, journaling for venting and self reflection.
  8. I don't know if it's healthy or not but when I feel emotionally bad I retreat and "abandon" reality. This including my job, interaction with people and responsibilities, which I turn my back to. I hardly can move either because when I feel emotionally weak, my body feels weak too. I turn into a snail mode and focus on self soothing, do things like crying, writing, wondering, listening to music or lying until I feel better and can return to my life.
  9. If I follow the idea that God is infite creation, then if there is a relatively irrational species like humans in the universe, there must be more variations which means that there must be more rational species somewhere else in the universe. So the reason for our relative irrationality is because God's infinite expression and creativity. Despite the human inherent irrationality, humans can still improve it. The main obstacle and the problem with humans' irrationality is human lack of awarness to our own irrationality and self deception that we are acting rationally, which is an irrational belief by itself.
  10. I think that some Camus' insights may help:
  11. If you hang in a social media pro-Palestinian echo chamber, you wouldn't see this:
  12. When 3000 UNRWA teachers in Gaza celebrating the October 7 massacre. People who supposed to be role models for the future generation. https://unwatch.org/group-of-3000-unrwa-teachers-celebrates-hamas-massacre-and-rape/
  13. Ok, I suppose I am one of these people you refer to. I would say to my defense that I experience people demonizing Israel disproportionately and I respond to that because from my perspective these claims are absurd. I would love to hear how you suggest to communicate here, how a discussion in the standards of this forum should look like, and maybe also give some examples from this thread of what comments you consider as pushing bias VS legitimate comments. It also would be nice if you share your meta view of this conflict in a few points, assuming you studied it well, I want to learn and see what I'm missing.
  14. Ohh I saw it just now, didn't receive a notification, my apologies 🙂 I ate dry fruits if this counts, how about you? That's ok, tell me tomorrow, have a good night!
  15. This is beautifully written, thank you for sharing.