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About Razard86

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  1. I agree, it is because of my Dad that I don't seek authority figures or put others on pedestals. For a large part of my life I seeked the approval of my Dad. It wasn't until my mid 20's when I realized that no matter what I did he would never love me or completely accept me and that was okay. When I released my desire for his approval it was like a weight was released off my shoulders. I had a close friend who let me vent about it a couple years ago and I was able to get those feelings out. I saw my Dad recently a couple weeks ago, the man doesn't even look me in the eye. I don't resent him at all, but for some reason he seems to resent me. But yes my Father is a huge reason for my desire to be loving and kind and you should see my siblings!! Because of my Dad they all have a desire to be as loving and kind as possible to their children. So my Dad's actions had the opposite effect on his children!! My Mom was loving but she worked a lot and was usually too tired to intervene a lot. He has inserted a lot of pain in my immediate family. Now this isn't to demonize him, he has done some good things too but a lot of people in my family don't like him. Also when my grandfather (his father) was on his death bed he refused to speak to him because my grandfather once told my Dad to be nice to me and he took it personally and made a vow to never speak to him. My Dad does that. If he gets mad at you he just won't speak to you, for years. Kind of crazy to me, but it is what it is.
  2. ^This I agree with, sex is definitely the best way to pin a woman down as far as her wanting to keep you in her life. But this is usually because most men don't know how, or aren't patient enough to get a woman to climax. As a result any guy that is good at sex is kept in most woman's lives even if they are not together until either she finds a man that she wants to settle down with or finds a guy who is better at sex than him. So no argument for me, but if that guy has a deep emotional connection with her on top of sex in general he will have her locked down for life. A secret most don't know is the goal is not just a physical and emotional connection, its also spiritual as well. If a man and a woman can connect on that level...that's when their relationship will become otherworldly.
  3. Exactly!! Awakening doesn't get rid of shadows, many people assume that. It does however provide a process to purge them more effectively than conventional methods and they are usually easier to uncover.
  4. When I was small my next door neighbor was a young guy named Antonio. Antonio was about 3 years older than me and a big guy. This guy made fun of me everyday. In the neighborhood, at the bus stop, on the bus (even had the bus driver laughing). When I went to school, I got made fun of in the classroom as well. Then get on the bus made fun of there until I got home. I have a twin brother, we are not close. Why? Because my Dad pitted us against each other and my twin brother actually took it seriously. Anyway this type of life continued for me. I got into fights in almost every grade, always a bully would attack me and I defend myself. This happened until the 11th grade when I met my first real friend in my entire life (still friends to this day) and got to experience what it was like to have a friend. Why was this suffering the best thing ever? One it taught me the depths of emotional pain one was capable of feeling. I've felt the lowest of the low, I know exactly what it feels like to feel that you are all alone, that nobody cares about you, that it was better had you never been born! This is why I laugh on the forums when many ignorantly assume I don't know suffering. I didn't have my first real friend until I was 16 years old. I was bullied and fought every year, my own twin brother didn't accept me, and my Dad constantly told me I was stupid and treated me like he regretted me being born. Through all this I always had a desire to NEVER be like the people who treated me like this. Through this I had a desire and curiosity to find out WHY people acted like this. I became an observer, I got into history, sociology, psychology, and every event from those tough days is what led me to who I am today. Because of my suffering I was forced to be alone. Because of my suffering I never tried to fit in. It turned me into an individual, it taught me to think for myself, and most of all it taught me to love myself when I felt nobody else did. YOU SEE? You see how my suffering was my greatest blessing? It taught me to love myself when nobody else did!!! How is that not the greatest love? So think again when you throw accusations of "You don't know my pain, or you haven't suffered!" I was told I was an unwanted presence for the first 16 years of my life. I have been in over 20 fights, and I have been jumped twice! When I got jumped two guys I thought I was cool with... WATCHED AND DID NOTHING!!! I've loaned a ridiculous amount of money to people, never to have them pay me back. I have every reason under the sun to hate people, to be resentful, and fearful. I'm not saying this to be self-righteous, I'm saying what I discovered through my suffering....is that love conquers all. One day you might learn why suffering happens, if you pay attention to the lesson it is trying to teach you. I have some other dark stories...I may share later on who knows. But love is so wonderful, its why I wake up everyday truly content and at peace.
  5. Thanks for sharing, that was a powerful post!! If you are open to it, maybe you can share how your past has shaped you and how you overcame some things? Also my past was even rougher than I let on. If I really talked about my childhood truly in depth...it would depress a lot of people on the forum. Its why I laugh when I hear people say I don't understand suffering, lol suffering was my best friend!! Its why I am so tough on people cultivating a mindset out of victimhood because it will ruin your life. I have watched it first hand ruin a lot of people close to me. My Dad for instance has basically pushed everyone out of his life and he is alone and grumpy because he crafted a victim storyline that he cannot escape from. You can get away with that story a little when you are young, but if you keep it up you will die alone, unless there is someone with the patience of a saint to deal with you. Anyway don't feel bad for me, my suffering was my blessing. I hate going through suffering like anybody else, but suffering is literally the greatest thing that ever happened to me because it taught me love the hard way. If only people could realize that is all suffering does.
  6. Women need to be able to look up to their man. So a woman erects a storyline in her mind of the guy that she is with. If he ever violates her story in such a way that he appears weak to her...she will lose respect for him. If a woman loses respect for her man, she will lose attraction for him. This means she no longer views him the way she once did. Men are different, as long as a woman is hot, and they don't have too much conflict and he gets a steady diet of sex, food, and peace and quiet the man is fine. But women want to enjoy a deep emotional connection with her man that culminates in sex. If a man destroys the fantasy that a woman has built up in her head of who her man is....yeah. Its why a lot of times for a man to reignite the passion a woman has for him he has to create distance so she can get a chance to drop her old image of him in her head and he can create a new one for her.
  7. Questions would be something different. I would prefer criticisms or critiques. Also most of these questions...go against one of my rules which is again the ego's desire to look for credentials, which then start the process of handing their authority over to another because they fit some standard. 1. I've already called myself a fool and a bullshitter so why should you care about any of this? The messenger doesn't matter, only the message. Judge the message. The only reason I am asking for criticism is to see how I can better communicate the message. But only the message matters.
  8. ^^^ Amazing!! Just take it one day at a time. No judgments on yourself or others and if you judge them or yourself don't judge the judgment! You got this!
  9. YESSS!!! I love this reply!!!! Keep it up!!! Keep observing!!! I love when people are able to observe and learn more about themselves. Obviously I would like for people to use it for self-development but if they don't who cares!!! I just want people to raise in awareness, that alone will start the process anyway.
  10. While I agree, the problem is we were never sane to begin with, we only pretend to be.
  11. I appreciate the response...but I believe the solution...is found in simplicity. I do not believe its found in the concept of a negative consequence. It is human nature to problem solve, as you have suggested. But if all you see is problems...then problems is all you will find. I also agree that the most nurturing state is that where nature is left to its own devices...so how do we cooperate WITH nature versus going against it. I think that is our solution. Not seeing how to fix nature, but understand how to become aligned with it. Our perspective I believe is to study how nature works and set our task to facilitating it more. The great thing is, majority of the ancient religions had a focus on nature, and I believe humanity is on the trajectory of returning back to that mindset. Basically we are slowly but surely coming back full circle and we are going to integrate everything we currently know with what we used to know. Its funny, what we use to collectively think is primitive, archaic traditions, is going to be the key to our survival.
  12. If it wasn't for women, I would have never discovered that I wasn't rational. I would have still assumed that I was sane, and rational. Men are taught that emotions are a hindrance for getting things done. I have a friend who is still in that mindset and life is slowing teaching him that he cannot suppress his emotion from him having a fiancé and a young boy. Sadly some men don't learn this and either end up with estranged relationships with their children and wife, or killing themselves.
  13. That's definitely a logical perspective. But one rooted in the whole karma, materialistic design process. Since this is a Spirituality Thread the focus is on transcendence of that, I'm asking very little here. I'm not even asking for anything radical, its no different than somebody admitting yes I opened the door, or yes I opened the window even though I knew it was cold outside and I don't like the cold. Do I blame the outside for being cold and knowing I hate the cold? Or do I keep it shut, and if I do open it admit well I did open it knowing it would be cold. That is all that is being communicated here.
  14. I'm seeing a lot of these type of responses becoming more rampant. People are really pushing for more love. All the money and fame in the world...and still they cry out for love.
  15. Well your POV is just a zoomed in version. Its a hologram. If you zoom out your POV could be your city, you zoom out again then it can become the Earth. So your POV is the entire earth....then everything in the earth...is you. So I am inside you right now (lol ignore the sexual inuendo). You are inside your own mind....and are creating everything. You zoom out far enough....you hold everything that ever was and could be in your POV. Then you could also break the time lines and show every time line that ever was as well within your POV. So the truth is...right now...our entire lives already happened. We are just playing through it right now. Like how you buy a DVD and press play. The events in the DVD already happened you are just experiencing it from start to finish. So time doesn't really exist in that DVD, but since you are playing from start to finish....it exists as it plays. When the DVD ends...you realize...it was just a movie and time never existed in it. Our lives are just like that.