somegirl

How do you know who I went for? I went for guys *I* find attractive. That's all. And my type of guy is not gym-macho type of guy either. I can't with them. And so called "nice" guys I just don't feel passion for, which is sad. Because everything else might be good on a paper, but because I don't find them attractive, or I can't see myself sleeping with them, I can't get into a relationship because someone is nice. It wouldn't be fair to them. There's so many more factors that need to align for a relationship to work - being a nice person is not enough unfortunately. How do you know? loll

Thanks, that's good point. One can adopt any kind of beliefs they want though... Need to say, beliefs are deep rooted. They cannot chance just like that.

I used Tinder before. It seems to me that only guys who are looking for fun are there. I didn't have a positive experience with it. And i have given a chance to quite a few guys.

True... It's not helping me, I just don't feel good holding these beliefs. Though, I don't actually have problem with looks, I am more than happy about everything. I am just frustrated that guys are just... not interested *enough*. As if more more is wanted. And I'm here wondering what else can I even do. I think I am in more or less good position all things considered. When is the time if not now, when everything is good? When I turn 60? This is what I meant by the original post. Some people are insecure, or they are in worse situation in some other sense and they manage to get into good relationships. And it's not like guys don't pay attention to me, they do, but noone is actually escalating it into something concrete.

Yeah I remember him once saying (gonna paraphrase it) "Guys have it easier as they can decide to settle later in life, but girls find themselves in difficult situation because they need to figure a lot of things out by the time they hit 30-35". That honestly puts a pressure on me.

How so?

That's nicely said... It's more valuable to use negative situations to my advantage than to dwell on negative feelings and wonder why the things are not the way I want them to be.

Yeah, but lack of money/lacking constant source of income is also a problem. I try to go through organization/student exchanges where some things are already paid on my behalf, but so far no luck.

Good point. I've been letting myself feel frustrated I think, I just don't want to dwell on it. Because I feel like I'm doing that. It's good to hear, that one can relate. I mean, sure, millenials have also spent their last 2 years in isolation most of the time, but they have already went through those pivotal years of their life and experienced them normally. And we did also to some extent (I lived life normally up until 20 years old) but not all the way.

Basically this lol. I think I have limiting beliefs. This certainly might be one. This is why I react the way I do. There's probably something there. I mean, I had relationships, they were just not fullfilling as I needed them to be. But yeah. Thanks for the video, this is exactly what I'm dealing with rn.

@How to be wise Just gonna roll my eyes lol. Honestly, I call bs on this. There are so many aspects in society from the beauty industry, the media, friends, and family that try to reinforce this idea that a woman's life is limited and if she doesn't settle down when she's young that she's basically hopeless. And a lot of it is rooted in misogynistic narratives that thinks that we all turn into Prince Phillip once we hit 30. This is so true, you literally hit the core. I needed to hear this, thanks. I literally think that I have this pressure instilled in me somehow. And this unhealthy attitude "OMG NOW OR NEVER". I don't know, I just get triggered when I hear people talk about how many things a young girl has to accomplish by the time they hit 30-35. I think Jordan Peterson instilled that in me. Definitely him. Yeah. I can feel this being true. It's better to develop a mindset where you will feel at peace, even if current situation is not your ideal, than to be frustrated that things are not the way you want it to be. It's much more healthy to have in mind that better things are coming, than to dwell in saddness and frustration.

Need to start somewhere in order to feel better about all of this I know, I've been there for New Years. There are certainly more cool people there. Though I can imagine it being too overwhelming to live there, with all that traffic and high prices lol. You have some crazy prices there Probably could have. Thought about that.

It's not for me. People who just want a fling go there. Hahah, I do complain because we are only getting older, not younger. We already lost 2 years of our lives in isolation. What is the use if I "start living my life to the fullest" when i hit 40? Isn't it better to do certain things while we are still young?

You're right. I am vaccinated, what is there else to freaking do at this point.

I feel like, since this pandemic started, I don't get to live my early 20s the way I want. I wanted to have interesting life experiences, love, live life to the fullest, travel with friends/a bf. This pandemic started when I was 20. I am freaking 22 now. I am annoyed quite frankly that this is happening. This has also lowered (my already low) chances of meeting potential bf. (I say "already low" because I live in a city of 200,000 people, where more than half are older people). And the guys I do manage to meet, it seems like we are not a a match, which is starting to frustrate me quite a bit because, when are they gonna find me more attractive than now? And when am I gonna have these beautiful romantic experiences? In my freaking 50s and 60s? It's ridiculous. This was supposed to be my best years lol. It's easier for guys, they can settle later in life, but for a girl, I feel like young years are their best time to find their partner. It's freaking depressing and this is stressing me out to no end. I feel like I'm not using all my potentials too and I'm spending my best years at home most of the time. I do go out, but the amount of people I see out is quite depressing. Almost noone is going out because of sudden peak of new corona cases here. And what is funny is that, rarely does it happen that I meet new guys through my social circle (that consists of mostly girls). I don't know if this is universe playing tricks on me lol. What is even a solution to this? What can one do about it? @soos_mite_ah