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About Eph75

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  1. Anger is there for you to set outward boundaries. Fear is there for you to protect yourself from harm, possibly determine whether to fight or flight. Both are calling out for you to take action. Failing to take action may result in building up anxiety. Anger/aggression can be a coping skill, e.g. you can turn to anger in order to avoid feeling another emotion, e.g. fear, that is when fear is too uncomfortable you may make a conscious or unconscious habit to mask it with anger. Many different emotions can turn into coping with anger.
  2. @Organica If there only was one, and you are that one, then you can't go away (die) and you can't come back (reincarnate) since there was only one. You can't reincarnate into some other, you can't reincarnate into all, you were always all and everything perceivable and unperceivable. What you perceive as you and the reality you observe is only a lens, a filter through which your perception is limited. If you are "it" - and all that is is contained in "it" - then everything is in "you", and how could you possible reincarnate into something that is already inside you?
  3. You can stop self-talk through becoming aware of it. Systematically becoming aware will, just as meditation, reduce the length and frequency of self-talk before we become aware. When things happen in life, self-talk is affected, just as meditation is "better" or "worse" depending on the circumstances in our present life. When becoming aware of self-talk, we can switch to inquiry and try to see patterns in what it is we are procrastinating, so that we can move that thought into the present and take whatever internal or external actions are needed to rid ourselves of the content. This paired with working on calming the mind is quite effective.We can quite quickly find ourselves in a place where the negative self-talk gets quieted down, which gives your mind space to be creative. A somewhat less problematic side-effect is that your mind might switch from negative/costing/problematic self-talk to creative/constructive/exploring self-talk. Tricky stuff when it comes to the ego, you might be disillusioned to thinking that your self-talk, that is negative, is serving your purpose, which is negative. Even when asking if it's working well for you, you might be so disillusioned that you think it is while in fact it's not. Depending on what your purpose is, if it's to be 100% in the NOW, that might be quite frustrating. If our purpose is to function and achieve in the illusion of reality, it can be quite useful. Whatever serves your purpose/works well is right in your world. That's all we can do, become more aware and constantly refine that purpose, which might be reduced down to nothing, just being.
  4. Also this is a good read.
  5. Disciplin comes with motivation. What is your motivation? Just letting go for the sake of letting go, or whatever it is you want to do, without deeper understanding for your inner workings might result in disciplin for disciplins sake, but little or no motivation as to why.. What is your why?
  6. Fiction: "You are already there" Fact: If you are not, then you are not. You are THERE, it is the same world, but it is completely differently percieved. Hence, you are NOT there. Claiming that someone that is not there to "already be there" adds nothing but confusion and a sense of lack of direction as you would be left with the feeling that you do not have to do anything more at all to "be there". No, it is not that easy. You will understand when you have had the insight. There is a good chance that someone is mindfucking you without helpful intentions - or they themselves only believe that they "are already there".
  7. @Arcangelo then it is not the money that will make you happy, you have happiness already. If you thought that $1mill would have made you happy, that is when you would have been unsatisfied when you get there, and $100mill would be what/when you think you would be happy. If you are already happy, $100mill would not hurt to have - - - - - or would it? Worth thinking about.
  8. If I fear being lit on fire, facing my fear does not mean that I should light myself on fire. Instead reason with your fear, understand it and the power it holds will subside. Having a fear can be irrational and when resoning with it, you might see that it is false. Alcoholism in the family is not an irrational fear. But it may be irrational to you. It may be rational and you need to understand or change something that you do, which might be fueling the fear. I.e. you might trigger the fear when you drink but you drink very little and very seldom. Mixed with awarness of risk, that fear is irrational and you can let it go. If you drink like a motherfucker and you have that fear, well then it is rational and you need to create change to overcome it. In both cases you face your fear. Can you overcome it? Who knows.
  9. This. After that, start working on yourself.
  10. @Lubomir Yes, that's where emotions come into play. Anger as an emotion is there for one reason and that's to manage outer boundaries (fight-or-flight) so that your - @Preety_India - personal "space"; self-esteem, self-worth etc isn't invaded and/or shrunk. At the same time shame is there to set your inner boundaries. Anger and shame should be respected in a healthy way in order to maintain your self-esteem. Downplaying your anger will cause others to invade your "space" and up-playing shame will cause you yourself to further shrink your own "space". We can't feel good about ourselves when this happens. Essentially, that's just what low self-esteem is, not seeing your own right to your "space" and hence you will develop a low self-worth as other peoples "space" yield a higher worth than yours. In this cause he is obviously making your smaller than you should be, playing on your self-esteem. The reason is simply that you let him do that. And you seem to have a hard time to stand up for yourself in a reasonable way. So that's probably a good place to start contemplation.
  11. @Conscious life What kind of contemplation are you referring to? You seem to have something in particular in mind.
  12. When down the other part of your life should be there to pick you up, not the other way around. The other should give energy, not take energy. Somtimes you can change this dynamics through hard work and communication. But to do so, both have to put in the work. Constantly. A relationship is work. How you describe it sounds more as if he makes sure to keep the existing power dynamics where you are weak and he is strong. His strong is not strength, it is weakness in disguise. You need to turn to yourself and see where you can find your strength, it is in there with you, you just need to turn to it and turn away from whatever hold he has over you. Reason with your strength independent of his influence. Is this what you want? Do you genuinely feel that you can turn this around? Use your strength and do. In the end EVERYONE should be respected. What about your self-respect? If you were a friend of yours, what advice would you give your friend? Step out of your own shoes and try observe objectivly. Love yourself and make a decision that you can love yourself for having done.
  13. - What matters most is how well you walk through fire. Charles Bukowski, alcoholic, dysfunctional, poet, but that line has some essence to it. The fire is going to be there. Sooner or later. So what matters most is how we handle it. He didn't handle it too well though, but he wrote well.
  14. @Aquarius A lot of red flags there IMO. Sounds like he's a lot of talk but few good qualities to follow up. Drinking issues is a red flag for sure. Having "enemies" is a huge red flag. Online, you get enemies-haters but in real life if you are as good a guy as he seems to have managed to make you believe? Big, red, waving ... flag. It don't really sound much like a coincidence that he befriended you on Facebook either, turning out to live on the same street, sounds like a digital stalker Or.. ignore flags, he might be the best guy in the world. Do what feels right, live with the consequences. A better thing to do might be asking yourself what it is with this guy that you want, trying to look past all the flattery and conforming to your needs. That stuff will more than likely dissipate as time goes by. You might find yourself with just the worse qualities left. Is there a need with you that you want him to fulfill? Making you look past/be blind to the red flags.
  15. Of course it's just an empty word, all words are empty, they are nothing by themselves, just grunts, you fill it with meaning and it's all subjective. Without YOUR understanding of what YOU include in the word GOD there is no way to determine whether someone else's word GOD is the same. EXISTENCE, EVERYTHING, ONE, THE SHABANG or whatever word you would choose to insert here can - and in many cases will mean the exact same thing as GOD does for someone else. Trying to align others with your conceptualization is absolutely unnecessary, enforcing words is trivial, having the similar understanding is enough. Having different understandings is fine too. We're disillusioned all of us regardless of what answers we have found for ourselves, through "insights" or psychedelics or adoption of other peoples concepts. Trolling around this is not helpful. Seems like there's a lot of ego at play. It's what impact our "insights" have on the existence that we experience that matter. The rest is still just "not right".