Eph75

Member
  • Content count

    541
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Eph75

  • Rank
    - - -

Personal Information

  • Location
    Sweden
  • Gender
    Male

Recent Profile Visitors

1,347 profile views
  1. I feel like I'm raping your original topic, but it's your thread so it's up to you to say when we've gotten derailed So that could be seen as irony - or post realization phun. Either I was acting retarded and misinterpreted what being is about and bashed myself for no reason whatsoever - OR - I was unconsously and yet universally consciously bashing myself towards increasing my own suffering leading towards that breaking point, as a calling to waking up? You decide it is irrelevant from my POV. I'm not. Yes that sounds strange. What is, is. Regrets or wishing undoing is the fuel of suffering. She symbolizes my equilibrium, how can I wish undoing that. Yes, still sounds strange, I know. It wasn't a good experience, but in a sense it was the calling for me to get my shit in shape. It also got my sister's shit in shape. We both recognize the good outcome. Still an unfortunate death of a beautiful young girl. It was, period. You know the saying "what does not kill us makes us stronger"? I'm sure you do. Suffering either breaks us and we're doomed a lifetime of suffering, no way back - Or - it is becomes the catalyst for development and growth, and at its "worst", the "best", awakening. Question is, in that gambling, is it really you rolling that dice? In a way, yes, it really is "funny", in an inronic sense. It REALLY comes downs to realizing that your current beliefs are false and to shift towards more "true" beliefs. What the excessive suffering does is shun, reject, expell, throw our your current set of beliefs, as that suffering has proven those beliefs "not true", from a subjective POV, which leads to the acceptance of adopting new, seemingly, "truer" believes. Who is better to prove ourselves wrong, then ourselves? That breaking down makes you more humble, humble toward your own dogma, towards your chosen current set of beliefs/paradigm, flexible towards multiple perspectives of others as you've just shifted perspective by own admittance, and so on. Most of all, it awakens a hunger of desire to further shift away from one's current beliefs, the increase of curiosity to find out where you've been wrong, where you've expressed dogma and so on, and so on. Tools are the means of this, meditation is a means to this. Meditation is something of a gimmick, and a tool as soon as you see the vast benefits of can bring to relieviating being-ness. Seeing an increased benefit from meditation is just a thing, something of a tool in that unfolding. One of many tools. I'll stop ranting now. There's an endless flow of this crap from within. Needs to stop somewhere, closing the valve here
  2. @Preety_India Pfizer, have had both injections, no pain from the needle but I've never had problems with needles, sore upper arm for about two days, no side effects what-so-ever apart from sore arm. Meditate prior to, at injection time close eyes, empty mind, and breath exercise through the injection Don't let fear of the needle itself stop you. Embrace it and approach it deliberately in a different way, and let it represent a growth opportunity
  3. Dropping being defined by methods for moment, there definetly is a time to feel into and investigate those thoughts. When that happens and what we call that matters less. Going along with thought stories, getting carried away with them is useful to raise awareness, and gain deeper understanding, but eventually there needs to be a time where also healing happens, where patterns are broken. I don't really have any advice, other than not forcing that "void" to happen, as you say, might be synonymous with suppressing something in the process. It never was forced onto me, it just appeared as part of the process evolving, first in meditation after sitting closer to an hour, later as a deliberately induced state. When it first appeared, I was more-so pulled into it, almost falling into it, and as a relex/knee-jerk reaction was pulled right back out again. Essentially 7 years since I started some form of active work. But have become aware of my meditative-contemplative behavior that I've had ever since I was a child, doing deep contemplation, and developing a sensitivity towards emotional signals, something of a superpower. I wisely used this superpower up to my middle 30's to effectively shatter my self-esteem It's the last 6 years that has been deliberate about this stuff, tipping point was the suicide of my 14 year old niece and some other more-or-less coinciding events that just got too much to handle and short after I saw a therapist for the first time, to deal with emotional exhaustion. Actual sitting meditation though, I've just been doing since 2017. I do think that time isn't as important as what that time entails. Amp up the suffering and you accelerate things, towards breaking free, or simply breaking down.
  4. Great stuff Other non-supportive people will still be there as part of our experience, and them not being assigned any significant attached meaning, they won't generate ripples in our being.
  5. The most interesting, and satisfying, aspect I find is that it can happening in real-time, not just in form of something seeming very familiar, but in the moment of experiencing deja vu you might think, "Ha! this is dejta vu, next XYZ will happen" and at the same time that thought arises that next XZY happens. My belief is that this is just a phenomena of not experiencing in real-time and there being a glitch in the "machinery" that serves us with memory/experience in a distorted way, creating that sensation. Fun stuff.
  6. Of course not, but the more that think the same, increases the number of non-vaccinated people and the risk or allowing the virus to stay in circulation increases. It's everyone's responsibility to reduce that risk. Add to that there being groups of people where there are phsysiological reasons such as allergic reaction to any of the components that poses real risk if taking the vaccine, so there's going to be an amount that involuntarily end up in that non-vaccinated group. I don't think the vaccine is going to eliminate the virus, but of course I hope it will, and instead just reduce the impact of it while it's still in circulation, and we're going to have to live with it just like we do with flus in general, so it would be in everyone's interest to prevent any severe impact of self, assuming that you will sooner or later contract covid.
  7. @fopylo Yeah that didn't come out quite right. It was more-so connected to trying too hard to "meditate", worrying about doing it "right" or achieving something particular actually raises thoughts in the process that prevent deeper meditative states Repression and suppression is definetly not the road to go. Letting go carry no meaning. If you're haunted by something powerful/painful letting go is hard, not causing suppressing/repressing in the process, as the thoughts are more-so intrusive for particular reasons. Those posts are very subjective, I've gotten past racing monkey mind, I have self-talk but it's conscious and entertaining or constructive in nature, and letting it go is at this point very easy and carry no meaning in itself. It's like turning off the ceiling light in the room when going to bed, means nothing special, and it gives deeper sleep, and that just makes sense. I used to have highly active and highly negative, self-destructive monkey mind, to such a degree that it felt like "it" was in 100% control over "me". Since becoming aware of this I've worked a lot on this, and the underlying causes. Anywho, side-tracked... I have to admit that I'm confused with the method names, hence my comment about mish-mash and actual method being more-so a result than a selected method, and my "do nothing" isn't the same as yours, which is more actual, and mine sort of not even as the YT video I posted in the sense that my thought space goes quiet fast when I drop engagement with active contemplation. Weaving the method together with the final comments in that video about it may result with silent mind puts the finger on my misrepresented view of the "do nothing" method. Of course this hasn't always been the case, it's a product of my years of meditating and my working through my "issues". Sorry for stirring up some confusion. I realize that my last posts might have come out as advice, which they're certainly not. I rarely share personal stuff, and this was just that and nothing more
  8. I'd say it's not a matter of not being willing to give, but it's the obvious expectation that giving is a given that kills the enjoyment of giving. Where there is unconditional giving, there can be expectation free receiving. Demand and you shall not receive. It's a matter of boundaries. If you're in on it for transactional reasons, be aware of that. Then it's not giving, it's transactional, you're buying something. That's perfectly fine, as long as you're aware of that's what's happening.
  9. @Preety_India Amazing insights. Instead of riding along with the subject and content of that narrative... What does this insight help you feel? What does doing this feel like in the moment of doing, and what does it make you feel afterwards? Does this make you feel powerful and in control? Do you like holding power in your hands? Who do you want to be in all of this - what does your authentic side of self tell you / what does being authentic look like? Is it a simple pleasure you enjoy satisfying, or is it bringing usefulness to your being and help creating great relationships you look for, or is it more just indulging in pleasure in that moment? What are some potential downsides/negative side-effects from doing this?
  10. One sitting, straight sounds a lot but time literally disappeares once you push through the eye of the needle and adapt. If you place expectations on meditation, you inevitably are going to add thought wondering if you are doing it right, why this session isn't going as good as that other session, trying to re-achieve the deepest states you've reached in the past, or re-experience fruitions/sensations phenomena that are unusual and extremely pleasent. If you sit and try to meditate, you're not really meditating. Which takes us to your next question. Practicing mindfulness is such a wide expression, it is simple being attentive about what you are doing with your mind. That ranges from observing thoughts, introspect physical and psychological sensations, and so on, literally just paying attention to what your mind is doing, so that you can shift your mind into thought progresses that are constructive / not destructive. Disengaging with thought is being deliberate about not thinking. Impossible? Essentially, yes, but what this intention results in is working up the ability to switch to complete silence in your mind. The only thoughts that tend to arise in this state are around just that, it being amazing/interesting/there-being-no-thought/oh-that-was-a-thought and so on. Then letting go of that, and intently returning back to no-thought. This is what I do, of course there are a million-and-one other practices you could do, it's just a matter of what works (produces positive/noticeable outcomes) for you. My morning meditation sessions is sitting in Burmese position. My going to bed position is, not surprisingly so, on my back or on my side. Doesn't matter, I sleep on my side so usually I meditate into sleep on my side. Doing it on my back creates a heavier "sink-through-mattress" kind of sensation, but I tend not to fall asleep in this position, which is my ultimate goal at this time. Oh-ho-ho yes well, that's the seductiveness of the mind right? It gets you mesmerized into getting lost into itself. Mental maturation. There are plenty of times to deliberately contemplate (maintaining constructive thought processes), why engage the mind with thought when we go to sleep? The going-to-sleep thinking I used to get engaged with were, before I started meditation, e.g. procrastination, overly-analyzing something, solving imaginary problems in my mind, playing out alternative past and future scenarios and conversations, trying to preplan and control future events, and maybe worst of all, dreaming into states of being that I desired, such as success, wealth, building my dream-house or similar "wants and desires" which essentially takes you away from happiness, and increasing those craving of those desires in that process, taking me even further from true happiness, increasing the suffering. This was just me, but people in general aren't all that different Dedicating this time to the loving acceptance of what is, right now, the perfectness of being in this moment, without add or removing anything at all, except practicing the intent to disengagement with thoughts, really makes you fall in love with the present moment and it's unpretentious simplicity of Now. Now doesn't need thought. NOW that IS cool. Regaring meditation techniques, it's very individual. Try lots of ways and see what works best for you. There's no rule here and what works well for others might not work for you. And also, what is best needed now in order to build a strong practice might be something different than what will would best in a couple of years. The most important part is to build a practice that you accept sticking with for the rest of your life. Making it practical, not feeling forced, not having amped up expectations helps that process. There's no right or wrong, the only outcome is to not getting lost in thoughts, since that's essentially not meditating and instead allowing the monkey mind to to its usual business, just with eyes closed. Techniques are rather to be approached with curiosity and played with. It's still the outcomes that matter, and if they are positive, it doesn't matter what the technique us called, or if it's your own nameless practice. It sounds like you have a good practice already
  11. Looking in the rear mirror doesn't take you backwards, but it does allow you to investigate the past through the present. The beauty with the past is that we can change it, by changing our mind. With shifted new perspective the meaning of the past can and will change. We literally time-travel ever day, when engaging with the past. Change yourself and you rewrite history. Events are of course still events, what is, is, but the meaning of events means everything. Imagine forgivness of the source of every pain of the past. A time-machine it is. The only obstacle is in our minds, and bending the mind, bends reality. ❤️
  12. @Preety_India @fopylo Although, destructive as it might seem, sometimes burning the house down helps with building a new one. Somewhat like puberty and freeing ourselves from our parents, just that we're freeing ourselves from ourselves, from our ego constraints. Challenging status quo sometimes comes out as an overly exaggerated reaction, only to come back down to find a healthy balance. So it doesn't have to be unhealthy, that probably depend on what the deeper drive is and what we want to achieve. Imagine how perfect life would be if we got everything right the first time. We wouldn't have learnt anything at all
  13. @Preety_India Are you sure you need as much a pat on your back as a kick in your butt I sure needed the kick in the butt, and life gave it to me, eventually. Life beat me to a pulp before I was able to open my eyes.
  14. @Preety_India Luckily we can choose to create intention to unwind ourselves. It just doesn't happen without creating the intention and working towards it, catching ourselves in that moment and choose a different path.
  15. @SamC Bit of a trickster eh? @Preety_India Part of this journey is to become aware of our triggers and freeing ourselves from them, that's our responsibility, and to not rely on others tiptoeing around them. Sure, people deliver stuff wrapped in sarcasm, irony, seemingly controlling directness, blunt telling you that you're wrong and them right, down-right disrespectful behaviors, and so on - AND - we can emotionally detach ourselves from all of that You seemingly do get triggered a lot. Have you taken time to sit down and reflect over what triggers you have, and create the intention for yourself to free yourself from their clasps? This is something that we inevitably need to work on, and the sooner we have this realization the better, the sooner we become free the better, since it causes a lot of energy to get misdirected, and also muddy the water so that we don't see clearly in general.