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Everything posted by Javfly33

  1. SDS can hurt the body obviously , for example the back
  2. I'm broken after nightgame session. It was the night I approached by far more women, and I was on a microdose of lsd (I don't know if this was a mistake or not). I was pushed by (finally/thankfully) a experienced wingman. Took a lot of rejections, felt the creepiest of the creepiest, and felt the worst guy ever. I think I just hate myself Yeah, it's that, I'm having constant thoughts of self hate. How the fuck I am going to be attractive to a nice girl if meanwhile I'm saying things to her I'm thinking whatever I'm saying is shit and bad? Can just please somebody tell me ITS POSSIBLE TO GET OUT OF THIS NIGHTMARE, I think my anxiety/social anxiety and my problems with dating stuff sex, women so on , it's all intertwined into one big mess of hate inside my body. How the fuck I beat this monster. Please tell me it's possible. I don't mind the pain, I mind not knowing if I'll ever be free of this shit
  3. šŸ‘ŒšŸ‘ŒšŸ‘ŒšŸ‘Œ šŸ‘ŒšŸ‘ŒšŸ‘Œ
  4. @Nahm thanks šŸ’™ It does feel bad these stories and it def would be nice if there is no self as you say. @Leo Gura "Just shut up" Lol you always so hard with me Leo. But I get your point I need to stop fucking around with my mind. I think the microdose made it worse in this case. I think I'm putting psychs for a long time now and focusing on results and material goals. Approach, socialization, and go out for a whole year each weekend and just shut the fuck up and only contemplate until one year has passed of doing this. Yeap.might be a good idea. @PurpleTree I feel emotionally drained but at least i feel yesterday broke through approach anxiety a lot.@Raptorsin7 And what would I do? I have done a lot of instrospection this last years, some trips here and there, and they haven't really solved the root thing. At the end of the day the root problem it's imaginary, so I will keep going out and try to focus on what I want in life. (Even though my fucking mind tells me each second that there's something wrong with me) @Nahm I don't think my life is that unstable. I've always felt like fucking shit most of my adult life while socializing with most people and of course with girls. Nowdays I'm just honest lmao
  5. I'm afraid taking the microdose might have been a bad decision and might have traumatized myself tonight.
  6. Girls doesn't get attracted to looks that much bro. You might get online dates but when you show up in real life you better not behave like a pussy if you actually want to get laid
  7. @The0Self That's right, I'm not sure I understand you...
  8. Because its death. Reality stops being real. Who would want to accept such a thing? At least the ego doesnt.
  9. I've started meditating again after so much time. Not because of spiritual purposes But for relaxing/letting go. I've already noticed a subtle overall positive effect on my calmness and ability to let go through the day. However I've also noticed something concerning. I wake Up each day with my mind Racing. First thing that i do i find scrolling through social media and emails, But once I've finished, Im left with this overall sensation of "edgyness".
  10. Entertainment for monkey mind
  11. What you mean when you say "everything is imaginary" or "you are imagining everything, including, people, tress, sounds, etc". I can see that as possible, when i am meditating and i become conscious everything is happening in my Consciousness. For example i hear the lift sound because somebody clicked the Button, and i can become aware What IS true IS the Sound + the thought "that sound IS coming from outside my experience where exists a physical lift". So i can become aware of that difference and open my mind to the fact that i might be imagining the lift, (and the Sound) However What about when i walk around budy downtown. My city has a very busy downtown, lots of Cars, peoples, stores. On a saturday night its really nuts . This is when i find VERY DIFFICULT to accept that God COULD BE SO TWISTED to try to deceive me by creating SO MANY TYPE OF SOUNDS, COLOURS, PEOPLE MOVING AROUND, DIRT, CLOTHING, CITY LIGHTS, ETC !!! WTF? That would be such a ridiculously complex imagination. Cmon. This have to be Real. I can accept i am imagining my whole room, the lift, the chair, and my body. Ok. But not the REAL CITY, with REAL PEOPLE.
  12. Then its all Love šŸ’™šŸ’™šŸ’™
  13. Not this complex. They are way more simpler.
  14. So What does that mean? That if you are not responsible and mature and cautious you are a bad person ?
  15. So being inmature is his fault? I thought there was no ego un the first place. Who you are you guys judging because of being inmature?
  16. Wow...the lack of empathy and opendmindness of most people of this forum. And then you guys Talk about "normies". For me ridiculing and showing 0 empathy of Brandon behaviour shows to me how much "normie" energy you guys have. Just because the Guy turned out to have bipolar sĆ­ndrome you Dont have to call It "a wrong person" , "Dont make a mess", "better Dont get into spirituality"...etc. Yeah sure, just because you Dont like spirituality (or spiritual theory) affects him in stronger (or ungrounded ways) he better stay at home playing chess and watching TV. Just so you guys Dont get "offended" because of his behaviour. Yeah, typical reaction of 0 empathy of "normies". Cool.
  17. The phrase itself already caused dumb laughter here šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚
  18. I might try this weird shit soon. Discovered a dominatrix which some years ago switched to doing tantra and Consciousness perspectives. Lets remember than bdsm and fetishes are darkness and ego shadows, and tantra IS the supposedly the higuest kind of sex (purest/healthiest) energy a human can develop. Apparently are two opposites sides of the Coin according to the current literature. This woman says can play between the two to provide the healing/release experience you need. (Obviously in a person which has bdsm tendendies/fetishes. If you Dont have then theres no point. Just go to a classical tantra massager i Guess) It might waste a money too But i am def intrigued how the experience can be. Does anyone here tried something similar?
  19. I think Im gonna pass btw, she charges a lot and honestly Im going to pay to feel bad about myself meh Dont think It Will be Smart
  20. I find It just find that there are people that confess having no link between bdsm and trauma, But i just find suspicious that a lot of people I've talked to about this, get very triggered when i say my opinion. Like, yo, honestly i just Care about my relationship with bdsm, But why you guys get so triggered when i say bdsm IS indicator of low Consciousness if you guys feel so good and healthy with It? šŸ§
  21. oh that's very good sir
  22. Fair enough, But take a look at my last reply to the user @Elisabeth
  23. I might be weird, But hate-kind of thoughts have always felt terribly bad 'round here. Now this progressive kinky culture here trying to tell you that you might be anything else less that Love and you should accetp It? now they normalize hate as something you have to accept ? Hace we gone crazy @Nahm šŸ„“