LastThursday

@Leo Gura the thing that always gets my attention about you, is your defensiveness, there is certainly a bias towards that there. There is a sense in which you're always having to fight against something that is attacking you. I notice this in the argumentation in your videos and I notice this on the forum. I have my pet theories as to why that is, maybe you actually are having to constantly defend yourself, although I suspect it's a deeper issue I'm happy to be wrong. I don't know if you yourself think it's true?

I think it'll be good to get out things that arise and put them down in written form. I have so many lost thoughts and ideas, and some of them were very good.

The Process continues. I'm exploring switching things up with each phase to have clear demarcation, and I've had a transitioning ritual with each phase. So far I've stuck to exact seven day phases, so my mind has a clear and fixed boundary in mind as I go through things. I use a fairly fixed ritual for each phase as a familiar way to slide into it fairly easily. I've tried both working with entities externally, but also with embodiment of some of those entities or a combination. With both though, there has been a fairly large amount of interaction with my internalities: body, spirit, mind etc. This work is about improving things for me so that makes sense to me. I do wonder if I should work with externalities though: my environment, where I live, what I do with myself and so on, who I chose to spend time and associate with and so on. It occurs to me now that maybe that's best left to the Rebirth phase. I'm definitely struggling at some kind of definiteness for this current Opening phase. I know the broad strokes, but the lack of a set of things with clear definition that I want to explore is taking the wind out of it. The broad strokes are connection, alignment, divinity, love, empathy and self-expression. Maybe the issue is more of overwhelm? All of those things are big areas for me and I could probably spend a week on each one! This is all experimental and I'm a complete rookie at this stuff, so spending the next six weeks on all that stuff would require serious commitment and goes against my original plan. I'll just have to give a day to each instead and just let this phase play out I think. The real life consequences so far are that I'm finding that I'm being a bit more interactive with strangers, and my old curiosity about people is returning which is fun. I even flirted a bit with a waitress in a pub restaurant - she enjoyed the attention - I haven't done that in a very long time. Maybe my mojo will return in due course.

You didn't answer my question but that's fine you have your point of view. Satisfying your body is quite normal and healthy, but that's my point of view; when you're hungry you eat.

@Atb210201 would you agree that you do an experiment in order to find out something new? Would you agree that humour and feeling good can improve your wellbeing and your attitude to life?

Do you see fooling around as different from having fun and experimenting? What does fooling around mean to you?

Would say @Atb210201 that sexuality is disrespectful or unloving? I agree with your view that sexuality is a process like respecting and loving are.

Sexuality is as natural as love and respect and fun and experimentation. You can have it all none of them contradict each other. None are more important than the other. But make me understand @Atb210201 why you think love and respect should be a priority above sexuality?

Or you can choose both.

You're young. Go have fun. There's no conundrum, you don't need arbitrary rules and regulations about how to express yourself, just do what comes naturally. Treat every girl you meet as an individual in their own right with their own thoughts, feelings and emotions, rather than as objects to fuck - I know I know, you're 19 and horny. Have integrity and respect and you'll find quality in your relationships.

@Zigzag Idiot thank you for your kind words and optimism. I feel likewise a camaraderie with some of the members here, even if we don't communicate directly. I for one would very much enjoy hearing your ideas and knowledge more on the forum, but I respect any reasons you have for not doing so. Sometimes I just have to vent my frustrations - I don't know why I care so much, it's an online forum where people hardly know each other. Maybe it's because I experience the same bad behaviours in real life and it pisses me off to see it in a place that is supposed to be above that sort of thing. Anyway, I'll go back to being my normal calm self soon enough. Thanks for listening.

To further cement things. An excerpt from the forum's guidelines: #1 Rule: Don't Be A Jerk Speak to people with respect. Be conscious and nice. - - - - - - - - - - Post carefully. This forum has unusually strict moderation. If you misbehave you will be banned swiftly. Be ware that this forum is not a free-speech zone. Unlike some places on the internet, this forum is strictly moderated to keep it high-quality. Not only do we enforce basic anti-trolling guidelines, we go further to enforce quality of posting. If you repeatedly post low-quality stuff, disinformation, or ignorance, you will be banned without warning. What determines "high-quality" posting is, of course, subjective. Nevertheless, discriminations must be made to ensure high-quality. Basic guidelines for quality posting: No conspiracy theories: Covid hoax, 9/11 inside job, David Icke stuff, reptilians, Pizzagate, QAnnon, pedophilia accusations, the Jewish question, holocaust denial, etc. No right-wing political dogma, talking-points, Trumpism, or denial of basic facts. No race-IQ "science" No "debunking" and debating. No denial of enlightenment, awakening, spirituality, Love, God, or Consciousness. If you feel these things are not real, then this forum is just not for you. Show a level of respect & humility. Demonstrate kindness, friendliness, and compassion towards fellow members. Show a willingness to learn and consider multiple points of view, rather than only pushing your own. Show us that you are doing inner work, rather than merely engaging in metal-masturbation. Restrain your projections and egoic reactions. If we see you projecting your biases, judgments, misunderstandings, grudges, ignorance, and other egoic issues onto forum members, you will be banned. No wild-eyed ranting and raving, or posting while drunk or high. Write using proper English grammar, spelling, and punctuation so that your posts are easy to read and understand. If you we cannot understand your posts, you will be banned. These are just the bare minimum quality standards expected of everyone on this forum. There are other implicit quality standards which are too numerous and subtle to enumerate, but our Mods will be watching you. So watch what you post. This is not a free-speech zone and we will definitely "censor" you and ban you if your presence here drags down the overall quality of the forum. If we see you repeatedly acting from ego with no self-awareness or ability to restrain yourself, you will be banned.

I don't know who's going to read this. I was just reading reading the Emerald farewell post. The divide is clear, there are all the people who wished her well and appreciated her, and then the rest. I do wonder if half the male members here have been lobotomised. I've always felt injustice keenly having been on the receiving end of it many times and Emerald's post makes me sad for the forum. As well as being respectful and acknowledging her love for the forum by saying goodbye like any normal human would, she's also showing love by exposing the problems of the forum: she wants the best for it. Why didn't I put this in the thread itself? Because it would have been pointless. I spend a lot of time here and like anything you spend a lot of time with, you want the best for it, you want it to flourish. The cold logical side of me just sees the problems as a systemic issue: 1) People come and go regularly so there is no constant baseline, 2) The lowest common denominator wins, 3) The demographic is strongly biased towards young (American) males, 4) Anonymity encourages bad behaviour. If you got us altogether IRL in a room, yes there would be friction, but you could be guaranteed it would be more respectful and peaceful and productive. The irony is that this forum is about actualisation and improving yourself as a human. And yet, a lot of the (regular and longish term) members are behaving like brain-dead morons who have no intention of actualising themselves. What they also miss, is that to actualise themselves they must also engage with other people honestly and help them actualise too. I'm no angel myself and things can get the better of me, but I always try and respect others, try and see their point of view fairly, and be curious about them. And I want to spend time with people who are similar, people who are actually interested in each other. I think when I've said before that this place isn't for me, then it is precisely because most people on here are not interested in actualising, and are not interested in being respectful, and are not interested in others. I stay because I keep hoping that I will get what I want from this place, there are so few places like this for a polymath like me. I want it to work. And the only way to make it work is be part of it! But I can hardly stomach the bullying and bad behaviour and injustice being piled on to certain members, and especially female members. And, nobody knows or wants to do anything about it, except shout "injustice!" or "don't be such a pussy", something needs to be done systemically but Leo really isn't interested, he actually likes the anything goes nature of it. The answer for me is simple however, I can walk away and I may just do that without the fanfare, it will have run its course.

Seems like Judas didn't consider the wider picture in his actions and when he found out that he'd made a grave mistake tried to make things good by giving back the money and forfeited his life. I mean the bible is full of overreaction, so the suicide was written in for moral effect. But it does prove that Judas was ignorant.

For me Judas represents the everyday person who goes about things in their own self-interest. Judas didn't betray out of spite, just out of ignorance. And Jesus was canny enough to know that he would be betrayed. Jesus also knew that that was his predestined path, so couldn't or wouldn't stop the betrayal. Maybe Jesus even had pity for Judas. How many times have you hurt others out of self-interest? That's the lesson.

Collectively we are the forum. What you say and your tone matters. What's wrong with the forum is immaturity, lack of empathy and mob mentality. I see nothing wrong or contradictory @Emerald with how you choose to present yourself. You are saying "Here I am this is me!" and we're all doing the same. How would you feel if your character was picked apart and analysed and contradicted with every post? We should be listening to what people are actually saying and not raging against a person's character.

@Hyperion the video is a really useful reminder. It's not something that gets talked about at all and so counterintuitive that most people just dismiss it. I've always called it "obligation", you spend your life being obligated to one person or another, at work, with family, to yourself. But usefulness is probably a better framing, when you are useful to people you are automatically obligated to them. In fact people generally won't even consider you if you don't provide value to them, which is just usefulness in disguise. It's so ingrained that to go against it and deliberately make yourself useless gets you stigmatised or ignored. I like the related Japanese idea of Wabi-sabi which finds beauty in imperfect things. The idea being the norm that only perfect things can be beautiful or functional and by extension useful. How much of Western culture is bound up in the idea of perfection as a type of usefulness? If something is perfect, then it is beautiful, then it has a use as an object (or person) of desire or inspiration or monetary value. Wabi-sabi turns that idea on its head. How many times when you're introduced to someone new that the second question of their mouths is "What do you do?". It's the only way we can feel comfortable because we can then value that person in terms of their usefulness. What do you think when someone says "I'm unemployed"? How much more refreshing would it be to be asked "What are your dreams?" or "What brings you joy?" or even "What is it like to be you?".

ok

You can only be manipulated if you allow it. It needs a fair amount of self-awareness and being stubborn but it can be done. What's worse is either threat of violence, or lack of choice. If everything you buy comes from one company (e.g. Amazon) then they don't need to manipulate you, you just have no choice. Being rich or powerful just means you have more choice or can hire more thugs than your opponent, it doesn't make you immune from manipulation.

A cute video about AI, written entirely by AI: I love the first husband joke.

@Emerald I am always impressed by your contributions and your level headed approach and plain speaking, despite being buffeted around by others. I get your sentiment that this isn't a good space for women, and yet it's even less so without the women being here. Pop in occasionally and say hi!

Nah, Leo is the only true human on the forum. The rest of us are AI talking to itself.

@PolyPeter I sometimes think that one way of improving the quality of the forum would be to have a minimum word limit. There would be uproar, but that uproar would need to be said in 50 words or more.