Is All Self Confidence, Sense of Self Delusional?

[Frosty97]

So when I was young, I used to be super secure within myself.

I would get tons of gifts from girls on Valentine's Day and on pepero day(a day like Valentines's day in South Korea) and part of it was due to my strong sense of self and imposing my reality above others.

But after I had a schizophrenic tendency after sophomore of high school I lost that security within myself.

 

I want security and self confidence back but.. 

I'm noticing, sensing that it was a (mostly or all) delusion

 

So my Question is: Is all self confidence, strong sense of reality and an ability to impose my reality all delusional?

And how can I get my super confident self back?

Edited May 4, 2022 by Frosty97

[_Archangel_]

@Frosty97 Of course confidence is relative. And it depends upon your beliefs and mental state.
Two men in the exact same situation can have different levels of confidence.

There are many great books on the topic like  Maxwell Maltz's Psycho-Cybernetics or The 6 Pillars of Self Esteem.
Leo did a summary of the second one:

Also, Confidence derives from how much value you think you have.
Even though i don't approve all of his theory, this video by 1stman hits the spot. In short, the more you work on your self, the more you feel high-value and confident.

 

[JuliusCaesar]

1 hour ago, Frosty97 said:

Is all self confidence, strong sense of reality and an ability to impose my reality all delusional?

No, trust and desire generate success in any endeavor. Skepticism and over rationalization result in failure, hatred, and paranoia. This is a universal law.

[WelcometoReality]

1 hour ago, Frosty97 said:

So my Question in a nutshell is: Is all self confidence, strong sense of reality and an ability to impose my reality all delusional?

And how can I get my super confident self back?

If it's based around a self which has confidence or lack of confidence then yes it is an illusion. But that aside..

Self confidence is something we radiate outward toward other people. A lack in self confidence would mean that we radiate feelings such as fear and shame. So if you want your self confidence back then work with those negative feelings. Once you move up to higher feelings you will again feel confidence again.

1 hour ago, Frosty97 said:

But after I had a schizophrenic tendency after sophomore of high school I lost that security within myself.

What exactly is it that make you feel insecure? You don't trust yourself?

[JonasVE12]

Having emotional freedom equals having self-confidence. Self-esteem and confidence is high when you are up on the scale, upwards from courage.

How you get that confidence back is to work on stepping into your uncomfortable emotions and learning to let them go. And thus getting a record of positive experiences that helps transmuting your emotional state permanently. 

[VeganAwake]

The body can definitely feel a sense of confidence while doing things. But yes the individual that claims it as "MY confidence" is the illusion of self.

As the saying goes "practice makes perfect". Repetition is always the key until you don't even have to think about it anymore. I would say confidence is at its peak when you're in the Flow State.... like Michael Jordan use to be playing basketball. He practiced so much and became so good, he made it look easy.

❤ 

[jimwell]

6 hours ago, Frosty97 said:

So my Question is: Is all self confidence, strong sense of reality and an ability to impose my reality all delusional?

And how can I get my super confident self back?

No, not delusional.

You get them back via generating high self-love and self-reliance, and healing your trauma and chilhood wounds. It's also good to learn to establish your personal boundary (an aspect of self-love). 

I made a post about how to generate self-love a few weeks ago. I can't attach the link here because I'm using my smartphone to write this comment. 

By the way, you have a suave signature. ?

 

[Breakingthewall]

self-confidence is something you have to conquer.

[Osaid]

You will be the most confident without a self. No self image to worry about, just being. It is not delusional to not be fearful about a self image, it's actually the opposite of delusion.

 

Edited May 5, 2022 by Osaid

[The0Self]

Not confidence really, but pride and self esteem sort of. But so is self doubt. If the only movement available from that is to self confidence or self-esteem, it may be a move that actually involves less layers of delusion after the switch. Less layers of delusion generally involves more humility and gratitude though, more prominently than anything I’d call self esteem, but if anything it’s less (no) lack of self esteem.

Edited May 5, 2022 by The0Self

[Batman]

36 minutes ago, Osaid said:

You will be the most confident without a self. No self image to worry about, just being. It is not delusional to not be fearful about a self image, it's actually the opposite of delusion.

 

This.

Self-confidense is a function of the conceptual self. In other words, it isn't real. Self-doubt and self-confidence only exist in relation to a self. Real "confidence" comes from being who you are, not from adopting self-views and manipulative behavior to achieve self-agenda.

[Ulax]

@Frosty97 I think it depends on what you mean by confidence.

Situational confidence is one thing. Self acceptance/ love, and core confidence is quite another.

The latter requires stage green approaches. The former you can get a lot of from stage orange practices. However, stage orange stuff won't get you the latter.

Its the classic pickup trap, for example. You develop a shit tonne of situational confidence. But not that much of the latter. Its not wrong to do pickup, its just about knowing what results can be expected from a certain practice.

I think IFS is an effective way of achieving core confidence

Edited May 5, 2022 by Ulax

[gettoefl]

self esteem is how you feel about you self confidence is how well you project your self esteem onto others, in others words will they confide in you

self confidence is a con job ... nothing but trying to impose your power on others

be authentic, worry not about how people perceive you

stop trying to impress others and instead be beautiful which is be you to full

[Loving Radiance]

Yes. True confidence is without a self. To be nobody is true confidence.

AND it also has value to be confident & secure in oneself.

[SeaMonster]

Delusional is not the right word to use in this context. 

If I believe I can fly if I flap my arms really hard, and try it and faceplant, clearly that's delusional.

If I believe in my ability to get something done or achieve something, and I'm able to pull it off (or palpably come close at least), then it's clearly not delusional.

Confidence is not necessarily delusional.  It can be based on an accurate assessment of one's abilities and aptitude.  

The fundamental test of whether a belief is delusional is whether you can manifest the reality corresponding to that belief.

If you never attempt to manifest reality based on a belief or try it and not even come close, then it could be or is a delusional belief.

[Breakingthewall]

On 4/5/2022 at 4:16 PM, Frosty97 said:

when I was young, I used to be super secure within myself.

I would get tons of gifts from girls on Valentine's Day

that self-confidence was borrowed, unreal, and false. you are an individual who unfolds in the world. At the ego level I mean, which is the level of self-confidence, which is different from self-love. They told you that you were wonderful and that gave you the feeling of self-confidence, but then reality set in. Imagine that you have to steer a sailboat alone in Cape Horn. If you have no idea, even if everyone has told you that you are very beautiful and special, if they drop you in the middle, you will be blocked, and maybe have a panic attack. If little by little you learn how to do it, with humility, seeing where you fail, where the innumerable difficulties are, improving day by day, you will come to have confidence in yourself. you will be comfortable, calm, adapted. if you hold on to what they told you that you were very smart, but now the world is very unfair because things are not as they were supposed to be and you are fucked in the middle of hell and you get depressed, without learning anything, you will not have confidence in yourself, and with reason

[RMQualtrough]

I'm ugly, stupid, and a failure. Sometimes I try to find communities for me, because how pathetic I am is a good source of comedy... But nobody else finds their own idiocy or bad genes amusing, so there aren't any.