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Javfly33

Why sometimes is painful/deeply frustrating to see hot girls ??

71 posts in this topic

39 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

Interesting.

What is this 'level' you are talking about?

We, humans, are hierarchical creatures. 

We are always assessing where we are in this hierarchical ranking, wherever we are, all the time.

We also have a general ranking for ourselves and this is what limits us. 

If you see yourself as a 7/10, when you see a girl that is 8 (not only in looks) or above you instantly feel like you don't have a chance and this hurts.

The secret to girls (and life) is your level of entitlement, of deservedness.

Whatever you feel entitled to, is what you are generally going to get.

To get your personal 10, you have to deeply feel entitled to get her. 

This cannot be a gimmick behavior, this has to be a subconscious certainty. 

Not a situational confidence either, or else you can even get the girl but you won't be able to keep her for long.

That's why cold approaching/gaming is key.

You are exposing yourself to new realities, testing your (mental) limits all the time and you will be mindblown when you realize it was all on your head. 

 

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@Leo Gura You can also say " I was abusive to my girlfriend to see how far i could take it", "her fault for letting herself get abused and not break it off".

With that logic you can rationalize everything, i am not judging you but there should be a balance between being a decent person and good in game. You can just talk to the girls that are single and worst case talk to girls in relationships but just attract them, so you can practice attraction skills, not actually get physical with them. 

 

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5 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

 

@Leo Gura  Have you ever tried dating in countries where sex is a taboo topic?

Sex is a taboo topic in all societies. But last time I checked, all societies fuck like rabbits.

In more conservative societies you just gotta keep it more concealed.

49 minutes ago, ColeMC01 said:

@Leo Gura You can also say " I was abusive to my girlfriend to see how far i could take it", "her fault for letting herself get abused and not break it off".

Of course you CAN. But I don't.

Quote

With that logic you can rationalize everything, i am not judging you but there should be a balance between being a decent person and good in game. You can just talk to the girls that are single and worst case talk to girls in relationships but just attract them, so you can practice attraction skills, not actually get physical with them.

That's right, anything can be rationalized.

I don't date non-single girls nor do I recommended it. Like I said, I was pushing the envelope in that case to see how game works. Sometimes in life you gotta push the envelope to see where the boundaries are. Dating is an arena which is full of collateral damage and hurt feelings. This is something to learn and accept about dating. Which is not to say you should use this as license to cheat and hurt people needlessly.

One time I flirted with a married woman just to see how far she would go. Her husband was a well-known guy in Vegas. She went pretty far. Don't forget that not all women are angels.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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Imagine walking up to a hot woman, without fear. Your belly tell you that you should walk up to her, interrupt her as she is talking with her friend, and tell her that you think she is hot and that you would like to get to know her (;)).

Fucking imagine being a superconductor of your divine playfulness, whitty as if you had direct access to a library of whit.

The thing with matching your lack of fear, with whatever you authentically want to do, out there on the streets, with hot girls all around you, for me, is to keep listening to that inner voice that tells me what I want to do, and just to do it. Just do it. Over time, the brain rewires, and there you are, standing there with a girl, looking her deeply in her eyes, feeling her heart, making her wet.

Visualize this! :D Actually visualizing this helps. Visualize yourself walking up to girls in scenarios which are just unacceptable, such as her sitting with her family in a restaurant, and you just walking into that restaurant, taking a chair, sitting down beside her and telling her that she is hot and that you would like to get to know her.

If visualizing this makes you nervous, GOOD!! Rewire that brain.

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@Igor82 Great ! Thanks a lot for those advices! You just inspired me big time :D


A thought can´t ever tell you how you feel.

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51 minutes ago, Igor82 said:

Imagine walking up to a hot woman, without fear. Your belly tell you that you should walk up to her, interrupt her as she is talking with her friend, and tell her that you think she is hot and that you would like to get to know her (;)).

Fucking imagine being a superconductor of your divine playfulness, whitty as if you had direct access to a library of whit.

 

oh my god yess!!! I fucking want and I m not even gay! 


A thought can´t ever tell you how you feel.

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@Leo Gura Who even suggested that woman are angels? Who is naive enough to think woman are any different than men or even better than them?

Women are eaqually as capable to make mistakes and sin as men are and that should not come as a surprise lol

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On 12/4/2020 at 6:41 PM, Username said:

I realized that I wouldn't want to be with 99,9% of them (I'm underestimating here), no matter how hot they are. It removes any pressure.

THIS. Omg man, that realization changed everything

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47 minutes ago, somegirl said:

@Leo Gura Who even suggested that woman are angels?

Women, of course ;)

Women get upset when guys hurt women. But women don't give a fuck when women hurt guys.

Self-bias 101

I'm not judging. Just saying how it tends to work. Of course guys also generally don't care when they hurt women. The not-caring is so profound that neither sex is even aware of it.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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It is not like you can cure someone's pain, it is usually better to just take distance don't you think. It is also often necessary to cause pain. Or how do you look at it?

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On 05/12/2020 at 10:51 PM, bejapuskas said:

@Username  Well some people for example do not look at girls even when they are attracted to them, because some women struggle with being approached and liked by too many guys and they simply cannot handle this. They don't enjoy being looked at you know. And there are many of these women. You can give up some of your momentary pleasure for this purpose. I mean, it is not easy and all I get you, just stating the counter-point.

What I really mean it's better to look if you want. The most uncomfortable thing is trying to resist and pretend that you are not interested, then look in a creepy way. This thing is scary. If you look with an appreciation it's natural and pleasant thing for both of you.

If something is nice I look at it, it doesn't matter what it is. Let things flow naturally.

On 05/12/2020 at 10:54 PM, dflores321 said:

@Username yes, coming from the perspective of someone who knows what they're doing with the opposite sex. 

I got some limiting beliefs man, I dont wanna look like a creep, or I dont think I should even look straight at a hot girl. 

For now though :)

I wouldn't call myself experienced. I try to treat every interaction as a possibility for exploration. You are looking as a creep by trying not to look as creep xD You need to stop rest the feeling of discomfort - it's actually cool.

You don't need to have any experience. It's enough to realize that you have nothing to gain from hot girls. If you have nothing to gain you can interact the way you want, now it's just a game. If a girl is compatible, it's a slightly different situation, but still it's not just you who can benefit something. - it's mutual responsibility.

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On 6-12-2020 at 4:35 AM, Leo Gura said:

One time I was at the gym working out. Saw hot girl walk onto the treadmill to run. She was wearing headphones.

As she's running, I walk up in front of her and do a big grin and a big wave. I motion for her to take off her headphones and get off the treadmill. She complies. I tell her she's cute and start chatting her up. She tells me she has a boyfriend. I grab her number anyway. We go on a date. We make out. Her boyfriend was out of town and she was feeling lonely.

Another time hot girl (25) is walking through the mall talking on her phone. I run in front of her, stop her, and ask her who she's talking to. She says her mom. I tell her to hang up on her mom and talk to me instead. She complies. We flirt and exchange numbers. Then we go on a date and have great sex. Stunning girl.

I once met a guy who banged something like 100 women at the mall. He would fuck them in the dressing room.

STOP. MAKING. EXCUSES.

Women are everywhere. Go talk to them.

SAVAGE... nice story sir.

 

One time I saw a hot girl in the street with a flower necklace. I say I recognize her and put the necklace around my own head so that our faces are close. I kiss her. She says: "I'm not really comfortable making out in the street". I say: "That's alright, we can do it at home. Go get your jacket."

She complies. We walk home whilst I try to hide my excitement. We fuck. It was great.

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@Javfly33

Just dropped by to say that having sex with a really hot girl is AWESOME and you should do it at least once.

In my experience it's especially good when it's the kind of girl you've always felt unworthy of.

So it's like you get sex, a great memory and some epic closure all at once.

Just don't get addicted, because it's like a drug that doesn't last long.

In sexual encounters, the experience is the most intense for the person who feels the most like they're 'winning' the chase. So for you, this will be you in the beginning. To play solid game, later you will want to make the girl feel more like she's winning the chase after you, of course.

But if you're not yet at that level where you feel all the time like you're the prize, just enjoy yourself man :)

I'm glad I did resolve that for myself and when I feel unworthy, I can always remind myself: nope, this is the level of girl I can get, (and probably always could although I didn't realize it), and here's the proof.

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On 7/12/2020 at 5:06 PM, flowboy said:

SAVAGE... nice story sir.

 

One time I saw a hot girl in the street with a flower necklace. I say I recognize her and put the necklace around my own head so that our faces are close. I kiss her. She says: "I'm not really comfortable making out in the street". I say: "That's alright, we can do it at home. Go get your jacket."

She complies. We walk home whilst I try to hide my excitement. We fuck. It was great.

Jesus christ how much pick up have you done to get to that level of confidence ??


A thought can´t ever tell you how you feel.

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I had a female classmate in university who was a metalhead. She had a boyfriend. Shit tested me alot casually. That was alot of fun. Always seemed to brush everything off. One time she asked me: "Why are you so weird?" I chuckled and replied: "I don't know." After that she looked at me differently than before that exchange.

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what helped me was an excerpt from david deida's book "the way of the superior man":

"When a man sees a beautiful woman it is natural for him to feel energy 
in his body, which he usually interprets as sexual desire. Rather than 
dispersing this energy in mental fantasy, a man should learn to circulate 
his heightened energy. He should breathe fully, circulating the energy 
fully throughout his body. He should treat his heightened energy as a 
gift which could heal and rejuvenate his body, and, through his service, 
heal the world. Through these means, his desire is converted into 
fullness of heart. His lust is converted into service. His desire is not 
converted by denying sexual attraction, but by enjoying it fully, circulat-
ing it through his body (without allowing it to stagnate as mental 
fantasy), and returning it to the world, from his heart."

go read this book  its under the part of "turn your lust into gifts"

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On 12/4/2020 at 4:20 PM, aurum said:

@Javfly33

you’re being shown something you feel you really want, but also feel you can’t have.

I agree with this.

The truth is that you are ONE with the "Hot Girl".

And you are ONE with all of the Victoria Secret models.  haha

They aren't separate from you. 

You are worthy of every girl in the world.

You are connected to every girl in the world.

There is also nothing to "gain" from girls. The idea of "Gaining", "Getting" "Having"  and "Ownership" is an illusion. But this is a tough illusion to crack and I could write an entire book on how "getting/having/owning" is a metaphysical misunderstanding.

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On 9-12-2020 at 5:09 PM, Javfly33 said:

Jesus christ how much pick up have you done to get to that level of confidence ??

@Javfly33 Not that much. I think I had done about six approaches in the entire year. That night was one of the rare nights I went out for pickup, and got totally destroyed: ended up at a party where the students all knew each other and I felt like the weird outsider. It became harder and harder to think of things to say as I had totally frozen up. I was full-on re-experiencing high school fears.

However, I kept trying and managed to get one conversation with a girl who had a boyfriend. Then I decided to call it a night, as I felt I had fought bravely and my ego was bruised enough for the day.

That's when I met flower necklace girl. What gave me the confidence was already having given up on keeping my ego intact, it was so far gone that I was free.

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