Preety_India

Toxic Masculinity Examples Mega-Thread

142 posts in this topic

I remember the time when I worked with kids from age 3 to 10. Because of that I find it ridiculous seeing being male or female as toxic. For me it's not toxic. Yes, I see patterns of confusion. A lot. And it shows up differently in men than in women - I agree. But shaming confused behaviour doesn't help very much. For example I see Elliot Hulse as very confused, probably traumatized expression - but he as a human being is not toxic. Also in Pickup... a lot of very confused dudes.... but toxic... I wouldn't use that word.

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7 hours ago, Toby said:

I remember the time when I worked with kids from age 3 to 10. Because of that I find it ridiculous seeing being male or female as toxic. For me it's not toxic. Yes, I see patterns of confusion. A lot. And it shows up differently in men than in women - I agree. But shaming confused behaviour doesn't help very much. For example I see Elliot Hulse as very confused, probably traumatized expression - but he as a human being is not toxic. Also in Pickup... a lot of very confused dudes.... but toxic... I wouldn't use that word.

that’s because, children are yet neutral if they don‘t get fed by toxic ideas.

the problem is rather that they would maybe not make the differences, but circumstances and society does.

Edited by remember

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38 minutes ago, remember said:

yes toxic femininity is when women support toxic masculinity. for example don’t stand up to toxicity, play mean games, talk about others behind their back without confronting them, playing cute while being calculating - there is a lot of toxicity in women, too. yet speaking up a against toxicity is not. the devil likes to deny. there is even misogyny amongst women. women can also be toxic towards men, although i know a lot more women who can handle criticism and admit toxicity than i know men who can.

and by the way the playing all cute while being calculating a lot men do that too. although toxic femininity is not that systemically supported as male toxicity is.

This has got me thinking. The example with the diesel trucks is the kind of toxic masculinity that I'm most used to in my upbringing, along with a whole lot of other behaviors that go along with having that sort of identity. When I was 16 I thought boys in jacked up trucks were hot. To be honest that programming is still there. Same with a man with status, power, confidence and success. I can't deny it's not... kinda hot.

So guy buys environmentally destructive truck to get girls, and if girl dresses in a short sundress and rewards him for his materialistic disregard of the environment then wasn't the toxicity just the both of us playing out our survival drives? Where is the toxicity? 

Isn't all judgment self-judgement ultimately?


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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@Toby certain behaviors are toxic.. Because when males follow these behaviors it takes them into wrong ways in life, they begin to cultivate toxic views on women or can never have a balanced relationship with any woman because they themselves suffer a bias. In turn they cause other men to follow the same path.. 

Associating toxic and masculine does not mean that all of masculinity is toxic.. It only means that certain groups of men or certain behaviors are toxic because when followed these behaviors disrupt gender relations or cause gender imbalance or hurt the other gender.. In the process they also end up hurting their own gender as well 

 

 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

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@Stenne  Funnily enough, I consider Gordan Ramsay to be a fairly healthy masculine figure. He's commanding and in control when he has to be, but then able to be sensitive and vulnerable when he has to be too. He has a lot of energy and ambition and expects the best out of everyone, but he's also not needlessly cruel, doesn't get angry over nothing, etc.

I think this video does a good job of highlighting both sides of him:

 

Edited by Apparition of Jack

“All you need is Love” - John Lennon

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4 minutes ago, remember said:

@mandyjw it’s very difficult to go against the main stream.

I don't even know what direction the main stream is going anymore. xD


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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18 minutes ago, Toby said:

I remember the time when I worked with kids from age 3 to 10. Because of that I find it ridiculous seeing being male or female as toxic. For me it's not toxic. Yes, I see patterns of confusion. A lot. And it shows up differently in men than in women - I agree. But shaming confused behaviour doesn't help very much. For example I see Elliot Hulse as very confused, probably traumatized expression - but he as a human being is not toxic. Also in Pickup... a lot of very confused dudes.... but toxic... I wouldn't use that word.

Yes. I think you just can't see clearly to the truth of how or why something is and the real reasons behind it if you're too busy judging it, ie assuming that you know what it really is before you've really contemplated and been open-minded to the why behind it. Confusion is suffering, and we have compassion for those who are suffering and want them to feel better. But when people act out of confusion we judge the actions and completely miss the confusion, (suffering) driving the behavior. 


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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@Preety_India I'd rather call it confused. Of course it breaks my heart seeing guys listening to gangster rap, watching porn, doing pickup and what not... not healthy role models. Of course. But for most it is just a phase and an unhealthy expression of their stage of development. And as always... one has to consider a man's (Enneagram) type in the development happens. For example an unhealthy sexual Enneagram 8 is probably a prototype of what feminists might call "toxic". But is an unhealthy Enneagram 5 who withdraws or an unhealthy 9 who is a doormat not also "toxic"? No.... of course no one gives a shit about them. Only the ones a bit too aggressive are labeled toxic.

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2 hours ago, Rilles said:

Parody of the Alpha-bro.

This is gold! :D

2 hours ago, Stenne said:

@Leo Gura leo,

Can you give some examples of what you consider healthy masculine man? All my life i struggle to find my authentic masculinity somethimes or feels like jou have to follow the "player,alpha males,badboy shit otherwise you  consider to be a beta, Simp,Nice guy,loser gUy. Maybe the so called Alpha males get the money girls status buth that wont make youreally happy i think. Seems like everyone follows them tough hell.. 

Maybe you can make a video on masculinity i think many men wil like it

I will make a deep video about how to build a health and deep masculine frame.

In the meantime, I like what Beau has to say about masculinity. He's a good role-model if you're looking for an example of healthy, mature masculinity:

He has more videos about masculinity if you search.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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@Toby  you made a very good point. Actually I want all such behaviors to be labeled toxic. Toxic means unhealthy. It's only when categorize it as unhealthy, can a man consciously seek to get out of it and not remain in it forever. 

Like I would consider the doormat as toxic too. Often I have seen that such "doormat" encourages and sustains toxic behaviors in a woman. Omg like how rarely is this even talked about you know. 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

Quick access to journal entries

 

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15 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Actually I want all such behaviors to be labeled toxic. Toxic means unhealthy.

Like I would consider the doormat as toxic too.

So... why not just call it unhealthy? Or confused, as @Toby said. How is a "doormat" toxic in his behaviour? He's just dysfunctional and doesn't know any other way. 

Definition of toxic: "Severely negative or harmful." Of a person: "Hateful or strongly antipathetic."

I think that Leo's definition is spot on.


Enslavement by illusion is comfortable. It is the liberation by Truth that people fear.

The false dissolves when it is discovered. 

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1 minute ago, Cykaaaa said:

Definition of toxic: "Severely negative or harmful." Of a person: "Hateful or strongly antipathetic."

I think that Leo's definition is spot on.

That's why it's called toxic. Because it's harmful to both gender and society in general. 

Yea I agree Leo gave a pretty good description. 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

Quick access to journal entries

 

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38 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

I don't even know what direction the main stream is going anymore. xD

hehe B| that’s because of all these vortexes, better you learn swimming upstream. :ph34r:

Edited by remember

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@Preety_India Eh I guess it's just a matter of labels and drawing distinctions. Everyone draws them in a different way.

To me, dysfunctionality isn't necessarily toxicity.

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Because it's harmful to both gender and society in general. 

There are many things that are harmful or dangerous and you don't call them toxic. Besides, who decides what is harmful or not?

But yeah, as I said, labels. It's not really worth arguing about. The distinctions are imaginary after all.


Enslavement by illusion is comfortable. It is the liberation by Truth that people fear.

The false dissolves when it is discovered. 

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This shit: The Proud Boys

 


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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Toxic Masculinity: Guys who look up to and admire Trump as their ideal of a man :D

Toxic Masculinity: Guys who use the phrase "soyboy"

Toxic Masculinity: Guys who consider themselves alpha and fear being beta.

Toxic Masculinity: Guys who fear that masculinity is under attack and threatened with extinction.

Toxic Masculinity: Guys who love to complain about and blame feminists but never read a single feminist book and are proud of it.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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42 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Toxic Masculinity: Guys who love to complain about and blame feminists but never read a single feminist book and are proud of it.

like the guys who always get good grades, but never learned for it magically.

:D

Edited by remember

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@flowboy @Display_Name men at stage orange and below will show clear signs of toxic masculinity, the fact you don’t see anything wrong with Dan Bilzerian and Jordan Peterson just shows where you are at in the game. :ph34r:

“People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.”

@Leo Gura Yes behind all the muscles there is also a little insecure boy trying to hide their feminine side ? there is nothing that turns me off more than a guy trying to prove his masculinity 

@Rilles ??? this is gold! 


"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." Shakespeare

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCqtX3EPGsnmWjK76m5Vpbw

 

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