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About Toby

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  1. @Markus did you do an intensive or did you really order the 100$ thing? I didn't study his stuff that much but didn't he clearly discriminate between "kundalini activation" and "kundalini awakening" and is saying that "activation" doesn't mean that much?
  2. mental, emotional, behavioural patterns that are not brought to peace and are running unconsciously in someone. doesn't matter how exactly you call it.
  3. @How to be wise because of patterns aka "vasanas" that are unresolved in them. Prime examples are teachers (e.g. Muktananda, Adi Da) that are "enlightened" but are/were abusing their "students" sexually, physically or emotionally.
  4. @Markus I don't really have an opinion on it and would have to reread it. First time I read it I thought that within his map it did make sense. But he didn't even speak about "dark nights" that can come long before any awakening. In St John of the Cross' terminology "dark night of the senses" for example come way before any "nondual" breakthrough: .
  5. @Markus sounds like you read a Jan Esmann book. @haai14 it is hard to tell if it is something like depression, depersonalisation or some symptoms of schizophrenia. Or if it is a dark night. But it is surely possible to have dark nights without awakenings or without noticing awakenings because they don't go all the way through.
  6. Even if it is translated correctly (cogitare = to think; cogito = I think) what was meant was more like "to think I have to exist".
  7. @ajasatya are you aware during deep dreamless sleep?
  8. I experienced something similar and my interpretation was that there is an overproduction of certain chemicals in the brain and when the trip wears off like 36h after taking it there might be some unusual depression because all chemicals are used up which shouldn't last that long. But I'm not an expert and it was just my interpretation. Happened only once of 3 trips. So I don't really know the reason.
  9. Price is probably just the meetings/sessions and you have to take care of getting a place to stay or meals yourself (but I don't know in Esmann's case as I never attended any meetings with him). Esmann charges 130€ it seems. What is more important than money is to see for yourself if you resonate with what they say and how they are. Otherwise it wouldn't make too much sense. You can look them up on youtube: - - / If money is a problem you could even - if it is allowed here in the forum - ask in the meditation-section if people here could support you via paypal or something. I mean, I could easily send you like 20-30€ if you wanted to go to an intensive and were looking for people to support you financially for that.
  10. @Milos Uzelac Jan Esmann seems to be there quite often: . I don't know him personally but I surely would attend if he had an intensive close to me. That other guy (Gaia) who has intensive-days in english relatively close is also very good. As far as I remember he takes about 50€ per day (3 sessions).
  11. Educate yourself on what an addiction is. Read about 12 steps or something. Might seem that this applies only to alcoholics but the approach is actually very spiritual. I played a bit with it with "thinking addiction" which everyone is addicted to more or less as well. The most important thing imo is: fighting it in whatever form doesn't help.
  12. The Work is just to investigate and answer the questions but not to get somewhere. If you work with an agenda it surely doesn't work. It's the same with any meditation or inquiry.
  13. Probably it's too obvious to notice.
  14. 1. Bernadette Roberts 2. Irina Tweedie 3. Siddharameshwar Maharaj 4. Swami Lakshman-Joo 5. Anandamayi Ma