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About Toby

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  1. @Sahil Pandit classic example of someone who is counterphobic. For me courage is to stay true to your heart and being willing to feel what you feel, including fear.
  2. Ok, sounded a bit for me like you don't want to have any responsibility at all for other people.
  3. @Mikael89 do you want to have children? would you love the responsibility?
  4. I once watched something about native americans and it was said something like growing up they watch the children and notice who is a good leader. It is someone who is just a certain kind of personality and others are naturally respecting that boy / girl. That kid later grows into some kind of leader in that tribe. That what I would call "alpha". You cannot just decide to be an "alpha". The group does. Your personality does. If there is no trust / respect for that leader, it's really not a great leader (for that group).
  5. That's exactly how I feel about it. He is - imo - a good example for a counterphobic personality. Very insecure trying to put on an act of strength. Easy to spot.
  6. Funny, having watched that video, I now got recommended this one. Elliot Hulse "there was wisdom in not letting women vote" is as "beta" as it can get:
  7. "Alpha" is the most ridiculous concept invented. Usually by men with some sort of complex where fear or vulnerability is masked by "strength" or "dominance". It's really ridiculous to use that concept as an inspiration. I mean, is Eckhart Tolle an "alpha"? Is Adyashanti an alpha? They are both probably not very social; yet huge inspiration.
  8. Never met someone who I consider without any unconscious patterns and also I'm not aware of anyone alive who has no patterns playing. Even with the greatest "teachers" I know of...
  9. Adya talks quite a bit about causeless love (as an aspect of "reality") though
  10. Yeah, but what about some books. Any recommendations? Or spiritual practices that will work?
  11. What are the best practices? How did you get into this state?
  12. For spirituality I would go to both 3 and 4. For "trauma" and capacity to relate ... I would first look at NARM as most of them have SE anyway. But it's more important that you resonate with the "practitioner" than what the approach is.
  13. Never heard of him. Googled him. Not surprised he has no degree as a doctor or psychologist / psychotherapist as what you wrote initially just sounded like the typical bs you find with NLP/systemic "coaching". Although - as I don't know him I cannot say anything about him. If you are really dealing with "trauma", I'd suggest someone who does SE: or NARM: Assuming you are from Cologne, for Spiritual support I would visit for example or but I guess there is a lot of other things too you could do.