Cepzeu

What are some of the traps you wish you avoided?

20 posts in this topic

I'm hoping that this thread will help others contemplate their situation a bit more and maybe help some people avoid making 5-10-20 year mistakes in their life. I was inspired after reading about a multi - millionaire who said that, in hindsight, he would try to make $50-80 million by the time he was 35 and then pursue his other passions rather than chasing money and being a slave to the rush of it. He continued to make money and is worth 400-600 million or thereabouts, but his main regret is the time he wasted pursuing those extra millions.

Post some of the biggest traps you've fallen into in your life and maybe state your age so people can get an idea of where you are at roughly.

My two examples are:

- thinking that my parents are right about a lot of things up until around 18-19. They are what you might call successful, which I took as a sign of them being right about the world. There are certainly some good values they instilled in me but I also picked up a lot of damaging beliefs and mindsets, as well as a lack of self esteem with regards to relating to my father and being independent. 

- focusing too much on studying 'hard' sciences (bio,chem,physics, maths) while in middle and high school. I spent a lot of time worrying about studying and I neglected understanding, and forming social relationships. This bites me in the ass a lot these days. I think that it's wise to study a lot of different things before you leave high school and not to lock yourself into once field too early on. After you leave, I think you can learn about things you are passionate in relatively easily within 2-3 years. It's more important to understand your passions while you are in school and to learn to relate with people who are different to you.

I'm in my early 20's btw.

Also when reading other people's posts keep in mind that there are also traps in doing the things they wish they did. So it's not a matter of one way being the best way. For example, if I spent too much time socialising and got caught up in petty social problems, I probably wouldn't have developed the meta skill of 'studying in general' to a proficient level which would allow me to pursue a medical degree.

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- Not having a vision for my life from a young age

- Not building any true skills whilst being young

- Caring a lot about what others think of me, trying to make them happy, instead of being true to myself

- Living within the barriers of limiting beliefs


Realizeyourgrowth.com

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@Identity I agree, those are really important. I think I'm still trying to work on the people pleasing.

 

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1 hour ago, K VIL said:

 

3. focusing too much on dating.

@K VIL could you elaborate on this. I feel like I didn't focus on dating enough so it's interesting to hear the other side

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8 hours ago, Identity said:

- Not having a vision for my life from a young age

- Not building any true skills whilst being young

- Caring a lot about what others think of me, trying to make them happy, instead of being true to myself

- Living within the barriers of limiting beliefs

Yup, same here


It's all fun and games until someone loses an "I".

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Pissing around at school. Not bothering with school work. Biggest strategic blunder I’ve made so far. It’ll probably haunt me for life...

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@Cepzeu Yup, me too. It’s a though cookie. Seems like it’s more about the degree of caring and limiting ourselves by it. Fully letting it go would require deep awakening I suppose.


Realizeyourgrowth.com

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I have no regrets..my suffering brought me to pursue enlightenment and that’s the best thing that I could wish for.

If we are talking about advises for my younger self:

Mastery of one skill to make a living. 

Healthy diet

and meditate since I’m 4.

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- Too little time spent studying hard sciences, they are valued in society more than other fields of study and seen as more impressive so I should have spent more time learning them despite studying being based on dopamine levels, genetics and book quality.

- Should have brushed my teeth more.

- Not enough working out.

But really I'm just going with no regrets.

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- Deciding to not care about anything and pass everything in school or university slightly about average while doing very little work
- smoke Weed almost every day from 19 to 22
- thought that I was not smart at all, because everyone thought other than me.. in fact my heuristics are pretty neat and a lot of people are rather sloppy

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Posted (edited)

-not listening to my intuition and leaving earlier in my relationship. which really taught me to listen to my intuition which gave me benefits 10x because i learned what intuition was and it saved me many different pitfalls along the way 

- taking things personally for "fun" but then letting it become a habit to take things personally and get angry. which really taught me to not take things personally at all and it's much harder for me to get offended 

- falling down the road of success and nothing else route only to realize that life was not about achieving success, achievement and money, paving the way to a better life of passion, love, and deeper life experiences

the way i like to see it is that these experiences give us valuable lessons that help us live better and happier lives, and for others benefit for years to come

i think a learned lesson can pay dividends of 10x in the future 

Edited by d0ornokey

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On 01/05/2020 at 8:35 AM, d0ornokey said:

-not listening to my intuition and leaving earlier in my relationship. which really taught me to listen to my intuition which gave me benefits 10x because i learned what intuition was and it saved me many different pitfalls along the way 

 

This is a huge one. 100% agree

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Posted (edited)

@RawJudah Yes I have the similiar thought/feeling patterns now about my up until now university accomplishments and current standing of just skipping and sleeping over imprptant classes, procrastinating and outright not completing on assignments that I personally took up as a pledge on myself and proffesors, calesly and uncaringly through this stay at home privelleged opportunity during the pandemic. Lot of deeply embedded self-manufactured selfish regret. Though all is still not lost I can retrieve some parts of the exam subjects to pass them  still yet.. Wanted to comment on this as show  that I relate with you with the thought and feeling patterns. 

Edited by Milos Uzelac

"Satan abides in the desert" - Old Hebrew saying

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Sometimes I wish I didn't take my largest dose of LSD the day after getting rejected last november, throwing my life into a downward spiral.

But hey, at least I have a pretty deep understanding of "unawareness"! And it's not like it could have been otherwise. Past is past.

So yeah, set and setting. Do not underestimate those. It's not just some formality for beginners, it actually matters.

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2 hours ago, 4201 said:

Sometimes I wish I didn't take my largest dose of LSD the day after getting rejected last november, throwing my life into a downward spiral.

But hey, at least I have a pretty deep understanding of "unawareness"! And it's not like it could have been otherwise. Past is past.

So yeah, set and setting. Do not underestimate those. It's not just some formality for beginners, it actually matters.

You really do have to have you life affairs sorted and be in a good place before you jump down the rabbit hole, I agree

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Posted (edited)

The two things I regret the most on my path are:

 Self- doubt.  Not running away from home at a young age. 

Ignorance.  Taking hardcore medication at a young age that I couldn't detox.

Edited by Artaemis

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Posted (edited)

BEWARE I have No Filter, Sorry...

Masturbation - going on 15 years - right arm is much bigger than left now :) It's an addiction, a bad habit that is so accessible all the time, and that makes it very hard to quit. 

Weed - 10 years - When a bowl used to get you to the moon, now I have to smoke like a Sadhu met a Rasta mon at a Slightly Stoopid Concert on 4/20. 

Depression - 20 years - Digging my own grave basically, just waiting to fall in. Feeding into the darkness of life for so long, and not even bringing anything out of it. Now I am able to let the worst days out on pen and paper, and create meaningful poetry, or at least, accept it as a part of me. 

Love - Always looking for Love from others, until I found that it was worthless, unless I loved my self internally.

 

Many more... Great Question, Thank you for the thread :) 

Edited by Chakra Lion

Is all that we see or seem

But a dream within a dream?

- Edgar Allen Poe 

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Well, I fell into into a very common trap that is programmed into women to fall into. Which is not having a life of your own and giving it up for men and/or family to serve them. What this programming does is leave women starving to death for real love and lacking in passionate purpose (for some their passion is children, but that was not the case with me - I just rolled with the programming).

So passion or purpose was skipped in the name of prolific sacrifice.  Ended up down dead end after dead end roads to find meaningful purpose, most of which were paths of religion. 

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There's always traps that after you realise it was a trap you wish you never fell into it, but at the same times traps are part of the game and will actually get you further than if you never fell in them. 

Like if you were never in a relationship a bit too long you won't realise what you want in a relationship or question you reason for being in it etc. Failing is part of this life's journey it can't be avoided 

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