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About FlowerNote

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  1. Never ask Leo about advice if you want to follow an academic path, he will just tell you that those people dont fuck with awakening so they are bad. Of course not literally said but if you look closely at his rhetoric that is all that Leo tells you. He is so far up his own ass. He wants to fill your had with 'everything is imaginary' dogma, even though he will deny this, claiming he is not here to spout any dogma. This is of course false. He is literally a guy who will spend 3 hours telling you the most twisted shit about reality and 'you', but hey, dont take it on as belief, its just a thought experiment. If demons exist, I wouldn't be surprised if hes an actual demon who spouts this dogma so he can confuse his victims to better feed on them. Let me tell you something which will lift a weight off your shoulders. You are not God. You are not Love. You are not Infinity. You are not Leo. You are whatever the fuck you want to be. Don't let anyone tell you who or what you are.
  2. "science is BS, who has proven that science actually works? No, what really works the magic power of "contemplation" and 30 days of 5 meo dmt." How can you honestly say science is BS, but attribute infinite intelligence to "contemplation". Leo you are so fucked in the head, you are becoming a detriment to society. Someone has to stop Actualized.org
  3. Just saw your vid on science. Biggest BS i have ever seen from you. You are walking on thin ice.
  4. Bro, I feel exactly where you are coming from. I lost my virginity in a similar way. I am still struggling with it. Dont really have advice for you just know you are not alone. Its embarrasing AF when your body starts shaking just because sex is a possibilaty. Feels unmanly and unhuman. We will get through it though bro. Meditate, work out, Nofap.
  5. @Leo Gura Most gurus also dont tell you that brains don’t exist. Considering the strange loopy nature of statements like this: that brains need to be functioning well for awareness (brains only exist in awareness) Why do you still use crude and non-nuanced narratives in your ontological theories? Why simply say that “All is X” or “Y doesn’t exist” when you yourself damn well realise the practical truth is so much more complex than that, and that there are many different high-value perspectives to look at things?
  6. Why do you want to advance mankind if you believe the entire universe dies with you when you (your body) dies?
  7. @Leo Gura If that is the ultimate stage where did our limited stages / the universe come from? I dont understand how a certain state if consciousness could be forever because according to murphys law it would already be happening.
  8. Ok thanks Leo. Tbh I dont even want to go in the awakening journey but I can never go back. My desire for Truth is too large and I hate it. Sometimes I feel like why not kill myself and awaken anyway. Personal life feels like a facade. Sorry for the vent, you guys are all I have on this journey.
  9. @Leo Gura when I became aware of no self (not ego death but it was clear the self was illusory) I wondered about how I can still enjoy a youtube video very much even if there is no self. How is this possible if there is no enjoyer? Is that what Love is? The embrace and enjoyment of everything without there ever having been an actor? There is only the act:. Love? I thought I might be on to something but im not sure. Even if its all love why does that equal God? And if the Godhead is at the “center of reality” like you said in your structure of reality video, why not just call the Godhead God? Why is the entirety of the universe God?
  10. The letting go is mental : dont think about it, dont take thoughts seriously. the discipline is the actual doing. It is completely irrelevant what the mind says. When im working out i literally trick my mind that this will be my last workout because my mind/painbody hates discomfort so much. All that discipline is is the actual doing of certain actions over a period of time. Its considered a virtue because you need to both use the mind (to remind yourself to do the actions and to plan it all out) but you also need to disregard the mind because it will try to stay comfortable.
  11. I wish I would have never found actualized.org. Im like that guy from the matrix who makes a deal with the robots to go back and forget about awakening. I just want to not care about the nature of life & reality like 99% of people but Leo’s inception in my mind is already complete. How I yearn for a life having never discovered spirituality. Tbh i would probably literally kill for it but ofc its not possible. Summoning a demon to make me forget is my last hope but its probably just magical thinking. I really do not want to give the ego up but it seems so silly now. I guess a monk like life is the only thing possible for me now. And to think that 8 months ago i wanted to be a threesome having millionaire. How I wish i was still that ego-driven guy. Of course I still am, except in a much more self loathing & self confused way. Sorry to vent.
  12. While self-contemplating is had a for me radical insight. it doesn’t matter what you believe the self is, or what the self truly is. No matter how you twist or turn it, the outcome is the same: the one who is doing the self-discovery is also the one being discovered. This is true no matter what you believe about the self! It felt like i imploded. While becoming more conscious, the only thing i was becoming conscious of was myself becoming more conscious! Like an infinite strange loop looping around an infinitely small formless singularity. It became clear to me that if you kept doing this (becoming more conscious) you would literally vanish in your own light. You would be completely gone. First radical insight for me.
  13. Please contemplate how far you take this. For example it is not (yet) true for me that God is love. And thats one of your core teachings. Would you ban me if i posted a thread giving arguments against God is love? You locked a thread from a guy who said God does not exist. Is spiritually disagreeing with you considered troll behavior? If so I don’t think the title “self-improvement forum” is appropriate anymore. That would be too broad if you are narrowing your forum down to your core teachings. Just sayin.
  14. The one who is totally alone is not the ego. Do you truly think the human that you think you are is the only sentient being? LMFAO. The one who is alone is the true self. The true self is both “you” and “me”. There’s no difference. Your analogy of the MMORPG is completely nuts. You as the only player character while everyone else is NPC? Lol. And you dare to call that non-duality. You are literally making a metaphysical duality based on the thing you should trust the least; the ego. There are no player characters and there are no NPCs. There is only the game itself.
  15. Why do you say Infinite Love is the end? if I lose all memory why could I not create new dreams/seperations again? didn't all our lives come from this soup of infinite love to begin with?