Identity

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About Identity

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  1. Thank you for the replies. More work on it’s way to realize that 🙏🏼
  2. @seeking_brilliance Yeah indeed. Attaching too much meaning to whether it is a past life or not isn’t the way to go I guess. Could discuss that till the cows come home 🐮 Cool experiences though, especially if they can point us to the right direction.
  3. Why did I separate myself from god in the first place? Is there a reason for it? Simply because of selfishness? Or did I come here to fulfill a purpose as a seemingly separate entity?
  4. @Leo Gura That is quite crazy indeed. If so, you seem to be doing a good job resolving that 😉
  5. @seeking_brilliance Looked at your links, interesting stuff! Ill give that a shot. The descriptions are very similar to my experiences. Have you experimented with this, gotten any results? @Leo Gura Interesting, you got me curious about what they said, but I can imagine you wouldn’t want to share. I might explore that in the future, but have other priorities atm. @SirVladimir Cool, I’d love to hear it if you get any traction 😄 @Baotrader Haha 😂 @Nahm Thank you 😊 My sister has done some reiki courses when she was young. I went to some reiki healing sessions a while back, and the woman also recommended it. Im also into massage. Definitely keep that in mind, or better, Ill stick it on my dream board 😉
  6. Around half a year ago I had an experience with a woman. We were just sitting, talking, and looked into our eyes for some time. I experienced something wierd where her face changed shape and the rest outside her face became blurry. It lasted for maybe half a minute. She told me that during that time window, she looked into my past life and told me I had been a priest in a past life. I was like oke, interesting experience. Lets just park it there and not read too much into it. Maybe it was a past life thing, maybe it wasnt, who knows. That brings us to tonight. Beside an overall quite intense evening where I opened up a lot about awakening experiences and sadness on my heart and more, something I had not done before, a second similar experience happened. My friend and I had been having a deep conversation for a while, when we made eye contact for 10 seconds or so. His face started to change shape, and similar things started to happen as the first experience. I was like “Don’t mean to freak you out here, but there is this vibe in the air, similar to a past life experience I had a while back, do you want to explore it?” He said yes. He also became present and looked into my eyes. Both of us got chills up our spines and both of us saw the other’s face change shape. Accompanied were blurring of the space around the face and the face becoming dark. Neither of us were able to perceive anything more than the wierd sensations and shifting of form. any thoughts? Similar experiences?
  7. @mandyjw Oke, if you say so. Nice video’s btw 😊
  8. Yes I know, at some times... and then I forget. That game must have been hard for you to play also, the spiritual teacher authority whilst being on the awakening journey. Do you still feel a need to defend something, or can you be fully authentic? How do you balance this need for being a perceived a certain way for your position to maintained and authenticity?
  9. @zeroISinfinity Pretty sure it already is a tread. Also, I have posted my vision board like 5 times already 😂😅 Perhaps I should stop 🙊
  10. Ever since Leo made that video on authority, it had been very interesting to me to see the authority games unfold in practice. Most of all, I see how I am playing the game myself. I am in a kind of in between space, where I am going from being a student to being an authority figure. Instead of being a student, I now teach at the university. I have my own business and am starting to give workshops and coaching, as well as a massage business. At university, because I am the “tutor” students have my opinion in high regard. Yet I see how some students grasp certain topics at a deeper level than me. However, admitting that would threaten my position within the group. Same goes for my businesses. At my massage practice, it seems like I have to put on the mask of being a “massage therapist”. On my website I talk about the courses I have followed. At my training/education business, I have to be the trainer/entrepreneur/coach. Hey, Martin what do you do now? There again goes the salespitch for who I am. And it does seem to matter a lot what that salespitch contains and with what confidence I bring it. Some other authority examples: Today I was at a manual therapist. When I started to engage in a conversation that did not match her normal “Therapist-client” dynamic, she got defensive quickly. It started of by me just walking in and asking her how she is doing, to which she responded she is the therapist. Than later on when I made some suggestions as to why I have back problems, quickly she started making statements about her 45 years of experience, science, education and more. The training company I work with, is also largely pre-occupied with creating an authority position. I helped to develop content for a training on leadership. Guess what the first 10 minutes where about? Citing all the references and theories, all the people that are behind this workshop, all their phd’s and experience and bla bla bla. “It helps for the participants to take us seriously” was the reason. It seems that authority limits openness and creativity. Because there is someone who “already knows how things are” and this belief system and position needs to be defended. The defending of the authority position becomes a corrupting factor in looking for the truth. Even if a relative truth. Yet it seems crucial to have a sense of authority to survive in the world. People won’t hire me for workshops or coaching if I don’t appeal to certain credentials or experience or whatever. Just dropping a certain term, a certain positional status, makes all the difference. How to navigate this game for authority in an authentic way? Is it possible to drop the game and still survive/thrive? Or is it more of a trade off? Education interests me. One of the concepts that came to me was “do you know?” Where it would be a platform for open discussion. Where participants look for their own understanding and take responsibility for their own understanding. Where they learn to think for themselves instead of sucking on the tit of an apparent authority figure. Anyhow, went on a rant here 😂 let me know what your thoughts are if you made it this far 😝
  11. @mandyjw On it! Now I am curious to see yours 😊 This is my full board. Whenever something comes to mind I write it on a piece of paper and put in on there. Than when I am more sure about I make a drawing out of it 😊
  12. @Jonac On it! 😂😭😝 @mandyjw Yess, Ive got a huge board right in front of my bed 😄. Do you mean the desire for God, or the desire to cry? This is part of the board. Yeah I actually have a journal, but haven’t used it for a while. Will pick it back up, thank you! Its wierd though, because when I cry there usually isn’t a particular image or event that arises. It’s just sadness that wants to leave my body. I can feel my heart in my chest ”shaking” it out @cetus56 Funny you say that, because after I posted, I had a little crying sesh. And right at that time a guy who I never talk to sent me a “funny video” of a guy crying through Facebook messenger. I’m hardly even on Facebook. LOL And wait a minute! The video was about how he had been “a bad boy, and thus not receive any presents for christmas”. 😨
  13. For a while now I have these thoughts where I imagine myself in different scenarios bursting into uncontrollable crying. In the imaginations it feels like a surrender and relief. There is this feeling I would describe as no longer having to pretend. For a while I have been aware of sadness I carry on my heart. I think it has to do with mystical/awakening experiences. I have cried from time to time. Last week I had quite a breakthrough where I cried in front of others at a mindfulness training. We were given an excercise to imagine ourselves in 5 years. Whilst writing down “I am fully Awake, fully seen through all illusion and have reclaimed authority as GOD...” I had tears in my eyes. When we had to share our vision with others I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Although this felt good, it feels like there is a lot more sadness left. Like a conservative cry won’t do it. Like I need to fully let myself go. Perhaps it needs to be around others as well. any suggestions? 🙃