How Can I Become an Alpha Male?

[9735557264]

 

I was raised predominantly by my mother. My father was mostly busy working. My mother is a very submissive and meek person. I think it was because her father was very strict and domineering and it was her way of avoiding his anger.

 

Additionally, I grew up in an isolated part of town. Outside of school, I didn’t have much contact with non-family members. Most of my social skills training came from TV and movies. 

 

From all of this, I have ended up as the stereotypical beta male. In the movies, the nice guy with no masculinity gets the girls and success in the end, but this is not how it works in the real world. And the timidity that may have saved my mother from corporal punishment has gotten me no respect, especially from girls.

 

I am resolute to revamp my life and become an alpha male, but I have no idea how to go about doing it. Recently, I quit working at my family’s business since most of the employees have known me my whole life and still treat me like a baby. Asides from that and reading a few articles, I really don’t know where to start. All I know is that I don’t want to swing from one extreme to the other and be overly aggressive and arrogant.

 

Can anyone give some ideas how I can shed this beta character which I have embodied my whole life and become an alpha male?

Edited 20 hours ago by 9735557264
Spelling

[enchanted]

Read Scott Galloway's notes on being a man. Key takeaways: a real man takes care of the people around him. Do that and you have become "alpha male". Also Galloway says BEING NICE is the best way to find and maintain relationships. Note: being nice doesn't mean being a push over, not having an opinion, etc. Nice people can still have swagger and be nonchalant.

Edited 8 hours ago by enchanted

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@9735557264 Can you describe for us what you mean by 'alpha male'?

This will give an outline for the types of character traits, values and qualities you wish to cultivate.

[Phil King]

Not sure if your familiar with owen cook but this guys videos is basically all you need to become an "alpha male"

 

[Ramanujan]

most of it inborn.  you can stilll become decent. go learn a martial art like karate

[Harikrishnan]

Confidence in oneself.
Inner knowing if what you are.
Knowing what you want.
Taking responsibility of life.
Being actively participating in life. Protecting.
Taking responsibility of others as well. Breaking barriers you have created for yourself.
Accepting reality, Accepting everything. 
Being decisive. 

[Basman]

Learn to create results. 

Confidence comes from surviving failure, and failure and set-backs are indicitative of progress. You need to take lots of action towards your goals. Make sure to define clearly what your goals are and work incremently on them everyday.

What differentiates jocks and chads from other men is that they are outwardly action oriented.

Don't think in terms of embodying a stereotype or being always keyd on and aggressive. Pick your battles. Sometimes its better to be submissive when the cost winning a situation is not worth it. Any humilliation, failure and set-back you suffer is endurable. 

[Consept]

Buy my course, send me $997 and I'll give you a fool proof method to become an alpha male or your money back* (T&Cs apply)

[bazera]

7 hours ago, 9735557264 said:

Can anyone give some ideas how I can shed this beta character which I have embodied my whole life and become an alpha male?

Set goals and work on achieving them, actually do the work, this will increase your self-esteem because it will raise your sense of self-efficacy.

Take more responsibility, in any way you can, over many areas of your life.

Take care of your body.

Figure out what you want out of life and start working towards that. 

Contemplate why do you even want to be percieved as "alpha" male?

But essentially, challenge yourself daily / weekly / monthly / yearly and build up your life, do hard things, do things that scare you initially. 

Edited 12 hours ago by bazera

[Rigel]

Boy you’re in for a world of hurt when you realize what a dumb scam that whole narrative is.

[LordFall]

12 hours ago, Ramanujan said:

most of it inborn.  you can stilll become decent. go learn a martial art like karate

Not at all. Being alpha is about being competent and having a strong community behind you(so you have high status.)

Once you offer value to people people follow you because life is hard and you become an oasis in their life. 

What are your top skills and interests at the moment @9735557264 ? 

@Rigel What exactly do you think is a scam about it? 

Edited 3 hours ago by LordFall

[Hojo]

Go into your room and sit the and growl for a long time.

[PsychedelicEagle]

I strongly suggest to read How To Be A 3% Man from Corey Wayne. Read it 10-15 times as he advocates. You don't want to act robotic but understand the essence of the book.

Also, you probably can benefit from assertiveness. Read books on assertiveness, how to say no, etc. Learn to not give a fuck, to work through your toxic shame. You gotta exercise those muscles.

That said, notice that the idea of "alpha male" carries a lot of baggage with it. It may not be the healthiest and most sustainable way of living, but it all depends of the life stage you're at. As you already noted on

19 hours ago, 9735557264 said:

All I know is that I don’t want to swing from one extreme to the other and be overly aggressive and arrogant.

However, consider that, sometimes, the fear of lashing out is part of what holds you back. Part of assertiveness is recognizing and acting on the validity of your own emotions. To prioritize how you feel vs how others feel. If your emotions tell you to lash out and you don't, you're betraying yourself. If you are too much on one side of pendulum, you may need to explore the other side a bit to reach the equilibrium point. Allow yourself some headroom.

The most important is to act on your emotions, your boundaries, soon. That requires recognizing them early and getting rid of the shame or fear that you carry that prevents you from expressing your boundaries and desires early on, before they are crossed or neglected so often or so deeply that you build deep anger and lash out or you miss opportunities of putting yourself first.

So in a sense learning how to express yourself will make you a better person, but the path may have some rough spots. Ultimately, trust in yourself, accept yourself, validate yourself. You're the only person who can do that.

Edited 34 minutes ago by PsychedelicEagle