I don't care what people say, women DO NOT like masculine men

[EternalForest]

I also journaled a LOT after I wrote this, and maybe getting more vulnerable might help you understand better:

All I was saying was that the moment I let loose with girls, I get reprimanded and told "you can’t say this" or "you can’t say that". And even with girls online when I would get a little bit too cocky or I would get a little too critical, they would just delete me. So I have to be careful what I say, but then nothing ever goes deeper than the surface. Therefore, there’s no deeper connection. So it’s a vicious cycle. And one clarification: I’m not being neutral for them. That’s just my natural state, but for whatever reason men respond better. Men take my neutrality as inviting and then allow me to be uncensored, while women take my neutrality as hostile. 

Everyone says that I should just use mutual friends, but I don’t feel comfortable with that because if there’s a breakup, then it’s gonna ripple through the entire friend group. So the last thing I wanna do is ask my friends if they know anyone who’s single. More and more I’m entertaining the idea of the matchmaker. Before I didn’t wanna do it because I thought why would I pay someone to find someone? 

Now the way I see it, I’m gonna be paying all this money on these online dating apps anyways. I’d rather give that money to a professional. People have been doing it for thousands of years. If anything, the online dating is the thing that’s foreign. Even back in the times of the Renaissance and the Victorians they had matchmakers. 

Even still, I don’t like the idea that my autonomy is outsourced to another source. And I don’t want my intentions to be misread. Because what happens if I’m stoic with the matchmaker…And they connect me to a stoic woman, but then the moment I open up, we find it’s the wrong match. Or the counter example — if I’m expressive in the beginning, but then once she gets to know me, she finds that I’m not expressive enough.

At the end of the day, my feelings are expressed inside and a woman will never get a reliable read without ample time. It reminds me of Tony and Junior from Sopranos (yes I'm comparing myself to a man with dementia because that's how clueless I am with dating):

Tony Soprano: so, let’s “assume” you didn’t know what you were saying, that you’re forgetting you’re saying shit over and over.
Junior Soprano: yeah?
Tony Soprano: "why’s it gotta be something mean? Why can’t you repeat something good? Don’t you love me?"

The girls are Tony and I’m Junior. Even with my lack of knowledge, my intentions are still questioned. Doesn’t matter how much I love them or I care about getting to know them, I'm somehow always framed as the overly masculine, emotionless robot.

[joeyi99]

Women are attracted to grounding energy

[Salvijus]

This is what you sound like. 

Relationship is not a science for you to figure out, it's an art for you to plunge into and lose yourself. 

[Sugarcoat]

6 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

This is what you sound like. 

 

😭😭😭😂😂😂

[Salvijus]

Just now, Sugarcoat said:

😭😭😭😂😂😂

 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

I wonder when people will finally get tired of all this femininity/masculinity autism. It's getting a bit tiresome to me as far as I'm concerned, of course it is undeniable that they have to exist in some form, even if you try to deny their existence or you are unaware of the terms, even then it's pretty obserbable that people are still trying to max out in those traits depending on whether they are a man or a woman. But still, at this point it's starting to be a bit of a brainrot

[Natasha Tori Maru]

11 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Behind every misunderstanding or paradox we perceive lies a ego crisis, with the potential to either suppress it or conversely to experience the emotion.

It's always the same.

Suppression is what I see. 99% of the time.

[Leo Gura]

If by masculine you mean stoic, serious, unexpressive, unemotional, untalkative, and logical -- then yes, this will kill all your results with women.

Edited 6 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Schizophonia]

11 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

If by masculine you mean stoic, serious, unexpressive, unemotional, untalkative, and logical -- then yes, this will kill all your results with women.

These are traits often found in people with low testosterone, those taking neuroleptics, or those with autism.
Men tend to be more stoic, but this is often a form of detachment; testosterone has a similar effect on the central nervous system to ketamine or opioids; therefore, you are also supposed to be fun and reassuring.
If that's not the case then this is the first explanation.

 

[Leo Gura]

48 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

These are traits often found in people with low testosterone

No. This is how a serious man is.

Think of a Zen master. That is a real man. Not some pickup clown.

The truth is that a real man doesn't make his life around chasing club bitches.

A real man does such serious things that he doesn't have time for games, flirting, and galavanting with drunk fools.

Marcus Aurelius, that is a real man. These pickup guys are truamatized sex-obssessed children.

Edited 5 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Majed]

@Leo Gura Exactly, i am getting sick of the inauthenticity of game, just to get results. The authentic me doesn't want to chase girls, he wants to do philosophy and spirituality. But good luck getting a girlfriend with this kind of mindset.

[Schizophonia]

53 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

No. This is how a serious man is.

Think of a Zen master. That is a real man. Not some pickup clown.

The truth is that a real man doesn't make his life around chasing club bitches.

A real man does such serious things that he doesn't have time for games, flirting, and galavanting with drunk fools.

Marcus Aurelius, that is a real man. These pickup guys are truamatized sex-obssessed children.

I wasn't talking about being a gentle/intelligent man, I'm talking about this persona of "I'm the lean guy in a white shirt who gives serious looks in videos, who makes videos about lying/maturity, who has a protocol even for sex, who talks about black pill but not too much because I'm a serious democrat and not want to be confunded with a stupid MAGA fan of Andrew Ta...", this mask lol; You know what i'm talking about

There is no such thing as a "real man." Thinking that will feminize you because it's a mental construct of subjugated individuals; there's an ideal of you imposed by a third party that you must conform to; that's what I was talking about regarding the defense mechanisms of identifying with the father to calm castration anxiety and so on.

If it's truly your game to be as masculine as possible, then masculinity consists of having the phallus: 

If you work to buy yourself a collection of Mr. Potato Head toys lol, it's weird and random yes but it's still masculine.

If you work to be a serious great yogi blablabla because you have to, then it means you don't see yourself as the phallus/the law, and that's feminin and feminizing as a result; literally you will see that you function in the second way, the more mannered you will be and have submissive fantasies (sexual or simply your worldview).

It's not a question of what, but of why.

Because "it's necessary," because "it's good," "it's normal," "it's ethical," "it's mature," etc., etc. -> you're in the realm of being (being your ideal self) -> the phallus (power) is projected outwardly -> Feminization.

Hence the fact that women like to wear makeup etc; to "add" to themselves; because they are in the realm of being.

Because "I want to," "It pleases me," "It's interesting," "It pisses me off not to do it, etc." -> you're in the realm of having (in the symbolic realm) -> you possess the phallus (you're in "your own fantasy") -> Masculinization.

I'll make a thread soon to tidy this up.

Edited 4 hours ago by Schizophonia

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Majed said:

@Leo Gura Exactly, i am getting sick of the inauthenticity of game, just to get results. The authentic me doesn't want to chase girls, he wants to do philosophy and spirituality. But good luck getting a girlfriend with this kind of mindset.

That's why a real man doesn't care if he doesn't have a girlfriend.

The problem is you aren't going all the way. You want the goodies.

If you want the goodies then you gotta jump through the hoops like a poodle to get them.

Instead of having a girlfriend I created Actualized.org, and it's better than any girlfriend could be.

Edited 3 hours ago by Leo Gura

[UnbornTao]

The Punisher.

[Hardkill]

I find that hard to believe what the OP saying unless he's talking about men who have masculine traits that are too extreme.

Being a real man means to be brave, bold, strong, aggressive, unique, resolved, decisive, inspiring, and a visionary leader. There is a reason why women have always been attracted to such men. 

Straight women have never really been attracted to men who are cowardly, plays it too safe, weak, spineless, don't have their own thoughts/opinions, indecisive, boring, and have no real vision/purpose for himself or for others as a leader.

Moreover, if you come off as too emotional like a woman on her period too often, especially when you haven't gotten intimate with her yet or not in a serious relationship with her yet, then the woman is going to think "this guy can't handle life and won't be able to protect me."

That being said, I think one of the hardest parts of attracting women is being emotionally compelling and stimulating to women.

Edited 1 hour ago by Hardkill