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I was a total fucking prick when I was 17-22. I was the epitome of "fuck it, fuck them, I'm looking out for myself, the world is cold, I will be colder". I would lie, steal, cheat, you name it... It took some time but the karma showed up and my life slowly turned to absolute shit and it only got worse and worse. The lies add up. The enemies add up. Your reputation becomes known and you are hated and you hate the ones who hate you and you act like you don't care. After a few years of living like this, it becomes too heavy. Amidst all the suffering and acting like I didn't give a fuck, it eventually became obvious that I couldn't continue on like this. My options were either to change or to kill myself, so I thought that I would stop being bad and see if my life improved. I wasn't spiritual and didn't have any good concept of karma but I had good intuition and pattern recognition, so I thought it was worth a try to see if being good would solve my problems. What do you know... by the time I was about 25, my life wasn't an absolute disaster anymore. After I made the decision to be good, I had to wade through my karmic debt for another 2-3 years, but eventually, all the suffering that came from it was gone. I didn't have anymore enemies and no one was lying to me and I wasn't lying to anyone else. I didn't hate people and they didn't hate me. This transformation was probably only possible because I moved away from my hometown where I incurred all the karma from. I probably would have commited suicide if I didn't stop because the consequences of my ways produced a life that was not worth living. You don't simply "burn through" karma of this type. You have to live with it and carry it and suffer the consequences and you might think you're big and bad and can handle it, but you should heed my warning if you embrace this path. It's not something you really want to fuck around and find out about. But... you gotta do what you gotta do. In other words, it is in YOUR best interested to not be a piece of shit. The person who benefits the most from being good is YOU and the person who suffers the most from being bad is YOU. This is reason number one to be good. It's not just about contribution or morality. It's so YOU don't suffer.

This is for anyone nearing rock bottom, coming from someone who has been there. Let's start with why you think that suicide is a valid option. If you are like me, you are just fed up with life. Nothing ever really makes sense, everything seems to be going wrong, and there seems to be no reason to keep living in this nightmare. Why on earth would "God" put us here just to suffer? There probably isn't even a God or anything else out there. How could there be one when the world seems so bleak and pointless? So you think, why not just end this life? Why not just take what others may consider to be the easy way out, even though it is actually the hardest decision you have ever faced in your life. Why not put an end to all this never-ending pain and suffering, why not take my poor heart out of its misery? Because you know deep down that won't end the pain and suffering, it will just create more. Maybe not for you, if you succeed in leaving this planet. And that’s a big if - but we will get back to that point. Let's start with the suffering that your voluntary end will bring to others. For me, it started with thinking about the puppy I had. If I were to finish the bottle of pills in my hand, who would care for him? How long would it take someone to even find me? Would he survive until then? My parents had enough going on, they wouldn't be able to take care of him. My parents…this would break my mother's heart…my siblings, they are too young to handle this…. So start by thinking about friends, family, pets, co-workers, teachers, therapists, your favorite barista, literally any being that may be impacted by your death. That should be enough to at least make you second-guess yourself. What if you think that there isn't a single person out there that will care if you are gone? What if you think that nobody would notice, or even that the world would be better off without you? What if you are all alone? Then you will be the one to suffer the most. You're telling me that you have made it this far all on your own? If so, that is amazing. It is amazing that you have managed to survive in this world without anyone having your back. It is amazing that you have been able to survive this long. This means that you are strong, even if you haven't realized your own strength. Your mind and body have been through so much just to get you to this point. And you are going to repay it by "putting it out of its misery"? If it was truly in misery and unable to carry on, your heart would have already stopped. The fact that your heart is still beating means that your body is still fighting for survival. It is your mind that has given up, it is your mind that you are trying to put out of its misery. You are tired of all the negative thoughts. Negative thoughts about the past, negative thoughts about the future. But realize that they are only thoughts. And the notion that suicide will end suffering is also just another thought. Do you know that for sure? Do you know that killing yourself will kill your soul, your entire being, and take away all of the suffering? Are you sure you won't be reincarnated, sent to hell, or something else? How do you know? You don't. Not if you are being honest with yourself. You just believe it will. Belief is a powerful thing. It is belief that got you in this predicament in the first place. Your belief that life isn't worth living, that things will not get better, and that suicide is the way to resolve your situation. It is all belief. To put it in a way that you don't want to hear: it is all in your head. Man, had someone told me it was all in my head, I would have had some unkind words to send their way. What do they mean it's all in my head? Do they think that I am just making up all of this very real pain and suffering? Yes. Because whether you like it or not, you are. Thoughts are a powerful thing, they shape our entire reality. Everything you've ever experienced has been registered as a thought. So when these thoughts tell you that your life sucks, it truly seems like it does. And no one will ever be able to convince you otherwise. No one can force you to change your mind. That is something that you must do yourself. So I am not here to change your mind, because I can't. All I can do is tell you how I changed mine, and perhaps encourage you to try doing the same. I started by coming to terms with the fact that all of the suffering in my life was caused by me. I took 100% responsibility for the choices that led me to this point in my life. No more blaming the boyfriend with the anger issues, I decided to date him in the first place. No more blaming the back-stabbing friends, I chose to associate with them in the first place. No more blaming the president for trying to deport me, I chose to stay in this country. No more blaming the guy that tried forcing himself on me, I agreed to go out with him. No more blaming my parents for not being loving enough, I chose to associate my self-worth with their praise and attention. No more blaming anything or anyone, because every bad situation I have been in has been co-created by me. Even though I am responsible for all of this, I don't blame myself. I'm only human, I'm bound to make mistakes. I must forgive myself and learn from my mistakes. It has taken years to forgive myself, mostly because I didn't realize how much I was still blaming myself for my attempt. It has been a secret I have carried for way too long. I'm done being ashamed about it. I may not have much control over what life throws my way, but I have full control over how I react. It has taken a while for me to regain control over my emotions, and I still struggle with them when things don't go as expected. But I am working on taming them. Not by whipping them into place, but by acknowledging them, forgiving them, and learning from them. I don't neglect my feelings or pretend that they aren’t there. Instead, I realize when they arise, and I ask myself why. Why I am upset, frustrated, sad, annoyed, etc.? I find what is stressing me out and making me reactive, then I evaluate if it is worth being upset over. It is usually not. So then I let it go. This notion of letting things go is what has truly saved me. If you'd like to know more about it, Buddhism does a great job of explaining it. I have no way of truly doing it justice, so I recommend finding books or YouTube videos on it, there are dozens out there. So I take a deep breath, fill my lungs and body with all the negative feelings, and then slowly breathe them all out. I let the negativity leave my body without judging it. I'm not upset at myself for being emotional, it's just part of who I am. I just redirect my emotions. I have chosen to stop thinking bad things about the future and to let the past go. Whether something happened 15 years ago or 15 minutes ago, it is in the past and I won't dwell on it. As far as the future goes, I am not psychic. Whenever I have planned for bad situations in my head, they never have occurred. Life is too unpredictable, I have no idea what tomorrow will hold. So why waste the present moment living in what has already passed, or on what will probably never happen? This is another thing Buddhism has greatly explained, the power of living in the present moment. Of being mindful of what is happening right now, giving this moment all of your attention. Don't live in the past, don't live in the future, live in the now. In addition to no more negative thinking, I have also chosen to focus on the good things. When someone asks me how my day was, I won’t complain even if it wasn't that great. Instead, I share with them something good. Maybe it was a pretty tree I saw this morning, a funny comment someone made, or just something that made me smile. Sounds cheesy and way too optimistic, but you have to fake it till you make it. Try talking positively about things, and eventually, you'll start thinking positively as well. Keep a journal where you write things that make your day a little better, and you'll start to notice those things more often. Chose to focus on the good things life has to offer. Especially the little things, like how the sun feels on your skin, or a nice breeze on a hot day. When something seemingly bad seems to happen, challenge yourself to see it as something good. Theorize about ways in which the situation isn't as bad as it seems. After all, whether a situation is good or bad is up to you. It is all relative, and who knows how it will play out. If you have read this far, that means there is still hope for you. It means you are looking for a sign not to follow through with your plan. Consider this to be that sign. I'll leave you with this: https://www.birchcove.co/insights/good-bad-who-knows You might think the future isn't great, but who knows? Stick around long enough to find out. Edit: in case you're curious about Buddhism, here is one of my favorite talks

Don't think so, it would get old fast, and I'd much more likely be driven mad by all the foreknowledge. An occasional trip down the memory lane aided by psychedelics is another matter though, sign me up. The nostalgia is so great precisely because of how melancholic and bittersweet it is, the memories are hazy like images in Plato's cave, yet we cherish them nonetheless, the fleeting nature is a major part of the value. They say hindsight is 20/20, but that could also work in the other direction, if you study and understand enough domains of human life through the past and present, a prediction ability almost akin to clairvoyance could be developed. That IMO is much cooler and more rewarding, plus the mystery aspect remains to some extent. I've been observing this larger theme of limitation lately, as limited beings the grass sure seems greener on the other side, but most satisfaction is derived from constraints, like a perpetual motion machine, always reaching for something, but never quite getting there. Living life as the limit approaching infinity, however far you manage to get, and then in death you become infinity at last. On this topic, I've always had dreams that show the future. Nothing meaningful, so I'm not a millionaire from betting on sports, but they're 100% accurate down to the minute details. These grant me the ability to act with more freedom, as the fact that I keep having them means whatever I do next, it will turn out fine, as the future has already taken place. Time is one hell of a strange loop. Fascinating thought experiment, if one were to gather every person in the world and have them continuously and unanimously deny one's existence, how many would fall prey to that gaslighting? Would being aware of cogito ergo sum be of any help? What about different methods of denial, could be active, straight up proclaiming you don't exist, or passive, whereby everyone simply refuses to acknowledge your presence no matter what you try. There's sure to be lots of dissonance either way, but the former is likely to be less taxing on the mind. Could this actually lead to developing a stronger sense of self/autonomy, as you directly experience your independence of the others' perspectives? Or, if driven to suicide from despair, in a twisted way it could be said the denial worked, you removed yourself from existence. Creates a bit of a paradox, gotta love the mind's games. Testing could be performed in a Truman Show-esque fashion, but that'd be highly unethical and logistically challenging. Oh well, theory's plenty.

Netanyahu... Troubled Choices! A year after a furious war, he still believes he can displace the residents of Gaza, and expects others to believe him! Displacement was his first option, and he rallied support for it, but he failed. The Palestinians held onto their land, supported by their Arab brothers, and now he seems cornered. The Gaza war has turned into a quagmire, the northern front won't be a walk in the park, and in the West Bank, the ground is heating up under the feet of his army. Wherever he turns, he finds isolation and anger. He is left with nothing but troubled choices, leading him toward an abyss and pushing his state into an existential crisis. Those who supported Netanyahu in his war realize that he lacks a real strategy and is driven more by a desire for revenge. His defeat in October 2023 left him in a state of delirium and confusion, with his decisions appearing to be a form of suicide. His internal problems are growing, his external crises are becoming more entrenched, and he is swinging between the two without finding a solution, even as the West continues to support him. This has left the ruling system of the state in a state of chaos and disarray. Netanyahu's retreat now would be a defeat, his stagnation a fall, and his advance without a vision is a mixture of madness and suicide. Despite the crimes he continues to commit, he has lost his ability to make decisive moves, and Washington can no longer tolerate his actions, his plans, or his struggles. We are heading towards a series of rolling battles, and those who rush to ignite them will be the first to burn in their fire.

Martyrdom does not fall into the category of suicide. This is a big misconception. A Jihadist is not commiting suicide, he is defending his Islamic community in the most selfless way possible.

No, calling mainstream human rights organizations and Jewish intellectuals all antisemitic and dismissing them is textbook propaganda and single mindedness. Actually explain how what they say is antisemitic or wrong, just crying that I can’t appeal to authorities makes no sense. That’s like saying if experts on crime judge an act as criminal we shouldn’t consider their opinions because it’s appealing to authority. No it doesn’t. It does say if you die defending Muslims you will be rewarded, that doesn’t mean it justifies killing every non believer. Again, suicide is strictly forbidden, which is why suicide bombing is a relatively recent phenomenon.

If you set out parameters according to which something is wrong, and that thing only exists in the future, are those parameters blameless? Islam claims that if you kill a non-believer, you will go to heaven. There's a reason suicide bombers exist, they're fully supported by the Quran. Alleged backlash against suicide bombers is most likely to be for practical reasons.

It’s not that simple. Suicide is strictly forbidden, the suicide bombing was justified by one extremist imam, but there was so much backlash in the Muslim world even Hamas stopped doing it. Independent analysis finds suicide bombings are motivated politically, also most of them just kill the attacker so odds are they just use it as an excuse to commit suicide. Nothing in Islam is inherently against America or Jews, America wasn’t discovered during islams founding and Jews were considered a protected class.

Why is suicide discouraged in religions and in general in spirituality? Would there be bad consequences? What if we commit suicide by self-love because we are stuck in a situation of great suffering for example? Would it be okay ?

@Nemra You are not able to see Russias side. If USA proxy Ukraine to Russia its about the USA. If Russia sees they are being proxy attacked by their biggest enemy they will suicide bomb the planet.

My brother just killed himself about two months ago. Right before his suicide, I started my first job out of college and moved to a new state. I spent this last summer listening to Leo's videos, meditating, applying to jobs, and talking my brother down from multiple suicide attempts (he tried 30 different times from May to July. I tried to save him, but failed.) He was 26 years old and I'm 22. He suffered from bipolar disorder, diagnosed around the age of 15. I spent most my youth planning to become a neurologist and or psychiatrist in order to help him. We were extremely close. He was my best friend. Now that plan is in the shitter. How could I ever start a successful business, family, etc..? I moved to a new state in my brother's time of need. I was and am a coward. I guess my question is how can I prove to myself that I'm not a loser after losing/giving up on my brother. Thanks

This is a great article about nofap and how it actually hurts people to believe in nofap and porn and masturbation as being bad. Worth reading. It also provides an alternative to how to deal with porn and masturbation instead of strict abstinence. https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/07/nofap-masturbation-reddit-forum-suicide.html

There's no room for it in our political climate. People will just smear you as a pedophile if you attempt to defend pedophiles. It's basically political suicide. The public is not interested in a serious discussion of such issues. When it comes to political activism you have to be realistic about what the public is ready for and what it isn't.

@PurpleTree Hey, we're "higher developed" cultists here, we only do "ego-death" (ego-suicide), "So uncivilized..." 😁

gosh i’m still waiting for my poison drink and the mass suicide but i guess everyone who claims they are god and has a community or people who follow them or their content to a certain extent will be called a cult leader

@puporing Thanks for your support and help. I do definitely think that the "old school" parenting model that was applied to me was mostly ineffective, as it made me a mental wreck. Obsession over academics and grades has been the bane of my existence since I was a very young child, and it was I was never offered an alternative to succeeding in the world, the focus was always school. I have a lot of healing to do, I had a (suicide) plan, materials, date marked on my calendar. I seriously think Leo saved my life, as I called the crisis hotline and instead of help I was bounced back and forth between different lines, because apparently I didn't call the correct one.

22: I think about suicide so often I don’t know how much longer I can stand my life.

@Rishabh R yes basically, I suspect when anyone has a feeling of rejection (hurt), nothing can be any more real. I'll give you a concrete example. My ex-wife accused me of abuse, I concluded that despite me not being an abusive personality by nature, quite the opposite, she fully believed it. So, I had no choice but to accept her feelings. But, on the other hand, she had a history of leaving disaster in her wake, broken relationships, attempted suicide, narcissism, and a host of other weirdness (I should emphasize her tendency toward paranoia). I never fully integrated my acceptance of her viewpoint UNTIL my daughter came to me with feelings of the same experiences with her mother. What I then realized was that 'it' wasn't me, it was her. Of course, I played my part in it, but she has an enraging personality and I fell into her game due to my own very real weaknesses. So, it is in a way walking a tightrope (A psychologist would call it 'walking on eggshells, which is part of the ploy that women love to use to justify their inability to accept what is really real). But we as individuals/people have to navigate the landmines of human emotions to eventually 'actualize' our experiences. Life is not easy for us humans, sometimes painful, sometimes blissful, Though far from easy for me, we have to make it work and most essential is moving forward in a way that makes us happy. I haven't done it yet and will likely go to my grave without that as an accomplishment.

@Jacob Morres the metrics I use include things like suicidal thoughts and depressive episodes. I have those every few days. It used to be even more frequently than that. On some days suicide seems insane to me. On other days I feel hopeless to the point that I don't care about my family. Maybe I'm slightly less suicidal than I used to be. I also get better sleep thanks to the med adjustment.

This is a frustrating situation that I'm in, but here we go. So the University I attend is part of the University System of Maryland. This matters because in this system, there is a policy in which a student must not be allowed to repeat a course more than three times. The first time I took Calculus I, I dropped it (counts as first attempt) because there were too many classes on my schedule and I was overwhelmed. The second time, I accidentally missed my final exam and scored and F in the class. The third time just happened, and I scored a D. It was a reduced 6-week summer session. I should have visited the office hours of the professor, as well as the supplemental instruction, but didn't because I thought my knowledge from the previous attempt would transfer over. I needed at least a C grade in order to qualify for Calculus II and Physics II. I earned a B in Physics I, but because my grade in Calculus I is a D, I no longer am eligible to earn a Physics degree at this University as I have failed to earn the requirement. I filled out a petition requesting that my major be changed to Sociology, for which I'm very unhappy about. Sociology is not a profitable degree, its practically on the same tier as Gender studies. I chose it because its my other passion, part from Physics. Because Sociology is not a degree which can earn me a good job out of college, I feel very hopeless and distressed. I also feel very inferior, how was I not able to pass Calculus I for fucks sake, what is wrong with me. That's a freshman throwaway class! I don't understand this about myself, but anything that involved Calculations, I simply cannot do. I remember I had to do take a mandatory Computer Science class, for which I scored a D in. We had to solve binary problems, converting 1's and 0's into numbers, and vice versa. I rehearsed this numerous times the day before, but on the day of the test I simply looked looked at the paper and I couldn't remember what I had just rehearsed the day before at all. On my second attempt of Calculus I, I had failed every single weekly quiz, how does that happen? Not one quiz did I score an A grade on. Even in my mandatory chemistry class, I scored a D because the highest grade I got on any exam was a C, despite going to office hours and studying for each test two weeks in advance. Because in chemistry, there are calculations required to balance the different electrons and such. On my final exam day, I just walked out the room with half the test blank because I looked at the page, and I couldn't remember anything! I had studied, studied a lot, but the individual calculations I couldn't remember, despite practicing the week before. My original plan to ensure my survival of working for SpaceEx or something like that just flew out the window, and the only forceable solution for my situation is suicide. Even if I do complete this degree in Sociology, what am I supposed to do with it? I have already bought a rope, for which I have tied into a slipknot, and saved into my backpack. I printed out a note, explaining my justifications and reasonings. I as well have a location and a plan. I will simply go to the stairwell of the on campus apartments, and hang myself from the metal beams comprising the staircase railings. The advice on how to hang myself comes from this website: *Edit: link deleted, but it was a suicide website which provided explicit instructions on how to commit suicide* Edit | tldr: My university has a policy preventing students from re-taking a course more than three times. I failed to pass calculus I with a grade of C or better on my third attempt, meaning I'm ineligible for a Physics degree as Calculus I is mandatory. I switched my major to my other passion, Sociology, but Sociology is not a profitable major. With my career plans in the toilet, I have decided that my only option is suicide.

Very first thing you should do is destroy your rope and note and any other suicide tools you have. Suicide is usually done on impulse, so get rid of the means first.

Yes, suicide statistics show it's a widespread issue, but the real challenge here goes beyond numbers. If people start leaving suicide notes on a public forum regularly, it would quickly harm the forum’s reputation, regardless of intent. This isn’t just about how common suicide is, but about the responsibility and perception that comes with running such a space. While the work done here can lead to deep self-reflection, which sometimes triggers suicidal thoughts, simply filtering out certain words won’t solve the issue as i previously though. I guess we need to recognize that this forum can become a place where people in distress seek help, and that makes it even more crucial to handle these situations with care, offering resources and ensuring there's real support for those in crisis. This way, the forum's purpose remains intact without unintentionally contributing to a negative reputation.

Can you go and look at the stats per/day/yr in the US alone. I've seen 2 here since I've been registered since 2020. More threateners, but only actually 2 commited. 2 in 4 yrs for a public forum. I just checked, 49,000 people died by suicide in the US in 2022 alone. Leo could probably sue the state if he got in trouble. People are committing suicide left and right everyday everywhere. South Korea has the most and Norway, Sweden, Denmark and Finland the least. Your neighbor probably threatened suicide yesterday and your co-worker is probably thinking about it as we speak and another 10 maybe 100 miles proximity from you in the last year. 2 in 4 yrs on a forum of people from across the globe is nothing even though one is one too many.

Note: I am not gonna kill myself. Don't worry. That said. I feel that the only thing stopping me is that statement above. Which is fueled by the fear of death. Not just physical but metaphysical death. The reason I am afraid of suffering is because it will lead to my metaphysical death. Eternal suffering will do it even faster. So since it comes down to that one fear of death, if dulled greatly, what would stop me? Why would I NOT do it? Fear of missing out on the rest of my life? In God's POV an experience of suicide is just as valuable as a lifetime of experiences. Why? Because quantity and quality, time, they are all human concepts. I feel it's that I won't have a choice if the fear of death was to be removed on all levels. I'll just disintegrate or some shit. Because even on a physical level all your cells are afraid of dying so they act in a way to stay alive and ultimate work together to sustain your body. Same is with your mind. And most subtly with your awareness, that I think has to do with energetic biases. On such a level, only thing that would stop me from dissolving, would be an attachment. Why? Because attachment and fear are two sides of the same coin. The coin called Bias. Bias is what keeps YOU alive as an isolated consciousness. But bias is what makes you suffer. Bias helps you to survive but ultimately leads to you removing it, and dissolving. Eg. You are afraid of suffering so much that you find a way to remove the fear itself one day. This means that God doesn't pull you towards itself for dissolution, it's just a byproduct of the ingenious design of God. Like how parallel lines on a sphere will meet at the poles. It's not that something is pulling those lines together, it's because of the design of the surface itself. It's inevitable. You can try to sustain your fear of death in efforts to stay alive{because you're afraid of death}. To be afraid of something means to avoid it. But if you avoid it too well, by removing the fear, you'll die. So you have to avoid it artificially where you just leave so that the fear can bite you in the ass another time. So the only way to avoid artificially is through distractions. The lower consciousnesses can do this very well. Another way is to remove your fear of metaphysical death but substitute it with another bias, an attachment. This is what, I think, higher consciousnesses do. They will consciously choose attachments to keep surviving. Ultimately it will make no difference whether you choose to live eternally or dissolve. Making it a paralyzing decision. Nothing is stopping you from killing yourself, but nothing is stopping you from not killing yourself. Why would you do either? This is what I need help with. Can some help me draw a conclusion about the paralyzing nature of decisions.

@Emerald I am from London, it's a very competitive city. I have childhood female friends and always went to mixed schools. I have women in my social circle but they are all in long term relationships. I have always socialized with women, I have never really had the classic male interest; sports, cars, video games(I know women can be interested in these things) etc I have tried flirting in the past but it was clear that it was unwanted, so I stopped. It doesn't feel good to make someone uncomfortable. I asked another woman out who was a friend of a friend and she agreed to a date but never turned up, so I got stood up for what would have been my first date. I still have never been on an actual date with a woman. The majority of the time, the women are nice about the rejection but one I think has scarred me. I remember receiving this look of complete repulsion and that killed my confidence for a while. At university my roommate and close friend was one of those stereotypical chad player types, women were very forward with him. They would basically invite themselves to his room and at one point he was seeing about 7 women at once but it got a bit toxic because one of the girls wanted something more and threatened to commit suicide if he didn't oblige. It was eye opening to say the least, to see how direct and brazen women could be with very attractive men. He's married now, in fact a lot of my friends are and I am still trying to get a date. I wonder if the messages we receive as children manifest in our life. I got teased a lot at school and I remember a girl saying I would die alone. Lately my mother has begun pressuring me to get a girlfriend and she has said the "you are going to die alone" thing as well.