Search the Community

Sorry to hear that. Me too recently i have this chronic fatigue and chronic pain and caught a flu or something two weeks ago and since then the pain got much worse. And then suicidal thoughts just come up often. But for me the funny thing is that was always my go to. Whenever i suffer i think of death and not wanting to be here. Like when i was 9 some stuff in my family happened and this horrible kid bullied me at school and then i basically threatened the school with suicide already at 9. But so far it has never really come very close. I just want an exit strategy.

I am still young and working through my unique developmental deficiencies and human problems, and i am dedicated to going all the way spiritually. It is such a long process, because the foundation needs to be solid. I have been watching Leo for about 8 years. I found out about spirituality 10 years ago. I'm just getting started. Recently i've spent time with Ayahuasca people. They are so full of self deception it's crazy! If it were not for (mostly) Leo's videos i would've been sucked into cults, gotten into horrible relationships, would've gotten deep into debilitating addiction, or even suicide. As much as i love advanced metaphysics, practical videos are welcome and essential, imo.

I don’t feel like that for my situation. I think about suicide all the time. I don’t wanna live like this. I feel so weak

I'd probably rather get castrated, have my eyes gouged out, have my ears cut off or something than commit suicide. It would be a terrible disappointment, the ultimate humiliation. Once again in my software.

55: What keeps people going through adversity? Maintaining a strong mindset. Something I think about sometimes is what keeps people going through adversity. And about maintaining a strong mindset. This past year has been the worst in my life, and I have been having regular suicidal thoughts. Sometimes it’s so bad I’ll have suicidal thoughts from the morning I wake up until I go to sleep pretty much. I have like two sides of me. One that has some strength to keep pushing forward, and another that is “weak” , has no strength and wants to end my life. I don’t even wanna call it weak, I see it more as a reasonable reaction to the circumstances I’m in which I won’t go into here because it’s too weird even for this forum. Maintaining a “strong” mindset is so hard and I feel it doesn’t last long until it crumbles. What I mean by a strong mindset is a mindset that makes you persevere through adversity. The opposite would be a mindset that wants to end your life instead of persevering through the adversity. I manage to maintain this “strong” mindset for a little while, then it always crumbles and I’m back in suicidal thinking. And so it goes, oscillating between the two. I have wondered to myself what keeps other people going through adversity instead of ending it or at least thinking of ending it. I hear of cases worse than what I’m currently in wondering how those people keep going while I can barely stand my own situation right now. I have some theories. 1. Attachments. I feel peoples attachments could keep them going. For example being attached to their own family, and not wanting them to suffer if they die. This is something I lack, I’m not attached to anyone so no person is a reason for me to keep going. 2. Other attachments. I wonder if people have a kind of attachment to life itself. Or to themselves. They are attached to living, to being a person that is a part of the world, being a part of society. They have a “life” in the conventional sense, having friends, hobbies, partners, interests and they are attached to experiencing these things. I don’t really have this that much, because most of the time I’m severely disconnected from myself so it’s like I almost don’t exist at all. 3. Good mental health. When people are dealing with physical pain but have good mental health then their good mental health is like a good foundation they stand on and the physical pain is something that bothers this good foundation but not enough so it crumbles and as long as they are able to maintain good mental health it’s a good enough foundation that gives them a reason to keep living. I don’t really have this because of a reason I described before. 3. Having a reason to go through the pain. Sometimes great pain comes from something great. So for example if a woman is giving birth and is in great pain, her reason for keeping going is that she will have a wonderful baby out of it. Also if someone has had a surgery and are in great pain their reason is that they are in the healing process. 4. Attachment to self image. Im going to use David Goggins as an example here. He has this desire to be “the baddest motherfucker” that is a self image he desires to have, and having this self image entails he preserves through adversity and in his extreme case ever PUTS HIMSELF through adversity (the extreme training) . So he needs to do those things to maintain this self image he has created for himself that he is attached to. He is even afraid of not achieving this greatness, of being old and not having reached his full potential. His case is extreme, but I’ve seen some cases of people having this self image of being “tough” and being attached to this image so this keeping them persevering through adversity. I don’t have this as I don’t have a desire to be “tough”. 5. Knowing it’s temporary. This one is a bit difficult for me to swallow. Some things for me are to unbearable to go through even if they are only temporary. So I’m having a hard time seeing how someone could have this as a reason to keep persevering. Because when something is horrible time slows down and it feels like forever. That is a very strong mindset to have, this mindset of it only being temporary. In my case I feel the only reason I’m alive today is that my situation hasn’t become “bad enough”. I don’t have a reason to live, there is nothing that I love, there’s no self image I’m attached to , nor a person, or other things. I don’t know if I would wanna switch places with someone with a “stronger” mindset, or who has attachments, because I hear about these horrible things people go through and I know myself enough to know I would much rather die than go through that. For example there’s this disease called trigeminal neuralgia which causes horrific pain regularly. Many people with that disease commit suicide apparently, and I know myself enough to know I’d be one of them. I don’t really understand those who persevere through that, but I can imagine that some of the reason I highlighted above could explain it a little. Hope you enjoyed reading. Thanks

I relate to this. I’ve been suicidal for the past year. I feel too weak to handle my existence. Sometimes I try to brute force it with a strong mindset and it lasts for a little while but not for long until I slip back down and feel weak again. A strong mindset can only hold up for so long until it crumbles again . Sometimes it’s so bad I’ll spend all day researching suicide methods and have suicidal thoughts from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep and feel like my whole being has given up on life. There’s like two sides of me, one with a little strength left to push myself further, and one that has completely given up on life and succumbed to the bad circumstances I’m in. So I oscillate between the two. But it’s hard.

@NoSelfSelf So the thing about Go is, that the rules are kind of simple. Play: Each player takes turns placing stones on the intersections on the board. Black begins. Stones dont move, they only can be removed by capture. The player that has sourrounded the most territory wins. Capture: If a stone is sourrounded by stones of the opponent, it is captured. A group of same colored stones that is connected vertically or horizontally (but not diagonally) shares their liberties, so the whole group has to be sourrounded to be captured. Captured stones are removed from the board, they add points to the score of territory. Players cannot commit suicide by placing a stone in a way that it is immediately captured. Ko: No stone may be played so as to recreate a former board position. End: Two consecutive passes end the game. Territory is counted by the number of empty intersections sourrounded by same colored stones. The great thing about that simplicity is, that it allows for a really high complexity. Especially of you play on a 19 by 19 board, there are literally infinite possibilites for stone positions. This makes it impossible to develope a strategy by simply analyzing possibilities. Yet, in a way, each move makes all the other stones on the board change context, so its not at all random.

2 and a half days clean from thc Well the day has come and the girl I was seeing moved to Spain . I'm not so upset about that, mostly I'm upset because in the days leading up to it I got needy and pushed her away. But, and this is the magical God part, I finally manifested a wing literally the day I pushed her away. This guy is the perfect role model, he's a natural whose been with more women than he can remember. His rizz is simply off the charts and I see my progress skyrocketing with him. but we also talked about real shit, and he revealed to me some of his problems, multiple suicide attempts. And it put things in perspective and helped me to realize that having game isn't as important as I think. Which of course will only make my game that much better because I have proof it isn't a panacea.

https://i.imgflip.com/9fmcge.gif I felt some bit of anxiety and frustration today from last night. My problems accumulating like dust on an old book. I have a long way to go and a long way into my emotional processing. One thing is to surround myself with supportive people and it is sometimes a struggle to maintain company between my problems, work, husband and family conflicts. It's like I'm stumbling and juggling at the same time. Some things are a part of life. You can't suddenly just get rid of them. Example - family. A toxic family is a huge drain. My husband knows this and understands this quite well. Some things I write about metaphorically. Because I like to be cryptic. Sometimes it's hard to be on the Internet. It can drain you a bit. I'm not saying it's a distraction - depends highly on how you use it. But it can take a life of its own and I don't think I'm alone in this boat. Generally for me to take up any project or work requires me to have an initial explosion of emotional barfing till I get it all off my chest. It's just how my neurotic brain works. Welcome. Lol. The internet has been amazing for my self esteem because I was dying in the dumps just rotting away not knowing when I will commit suicide. So the internet was a huge boon in regards to keeping me 1 minute away from suicide. Life was hard on me especially after my father died. It threw me into a downward spiral of depression because I intensely bonded with my father. I still deal with the loss and trauma of it. I hate when psychologists and therapists don't take this aspect of my life into consideration and treat it lightly. Sometimes you gotta ponder and ask yourself what is it that you want - do you want genuine company or do you want just validation for your own ego? That kind of contemplation helps. Some people can be mildly toxic, especially people who gossip a lot. They might appear harmless on top, that is from the outside but they kinda prove to be the gateway to more drama, like can openers (I hope you understand what I meant), I mean they appear to be completely innocent but not so innocent after all. They just gently push you over the cliff and then act like nothing really happened. You then wonder that they acted like starters of dispute. Like signalers. Usually gossipmongers think they are a smartass and tend to do this. Two years ago I told myself that I will never gossip again ever in life. That part of my moral and subtle integrity is perfect and intact. I never gossiped. Gossiping happens a lot in spiritual communities, what a shame. In that regard I like this thread. It helped me understand that others face similar issues. I also like this comment. Hmm well said there, I experienced this a lot, ever since I had my first awakening, I would observe and feel intense attraction coming from women, probably because I was more celibate at the time and not generating any sort of sexual need or energy, and yet at times when there was a potential union or mate, most would flee soon after, almost as if they were afraid of something so deep and intense. They rather continue to play with boys who aren't going to expose a lot of their shadows and darkness. They want the truth but only to a certain extent. I noticed this in spiritual circles a lot, everyone wants the perfect Christ-like man, yet they themselves are not christ-like. I like this sentence a lot. And it resonates with my thought. A lot of people in spiritual circles act like they are above everyone when they are not so Christ-like. Men can have commitment related issues. And women can have intimacy related issues. I noticed this. Women don't wish to open up and go deep suddenly. And it's perfectly understandable why. I myself feared going intense or deep with men. I had intimacy issues too. Like intimacy-phobic. I am getting better and better at opening up to my husband. But it takes some effort and time. Sometimes I just feel uncertain and aversion to opening up. Last night I opened up a shit ton with my husband, like two hours of communication. I must have exhausted him with my talk. Because it was so overwhelming for me, I had to get it off my chest and I did. And he appreciated that. This is the first time I opened up to him in such a deep vulnerable way. I really wanted to say what I genuinely felt, no holds barred. I'm in the mood to write a lot. A note to Whitney — If you carry a lot of emotional, mental and psychological baggage, this forum can feel like a thunderbolt of confusion. I'll describe in depth the honeymoon and relationship phase. If you appear selfish in a conversation, it's never gonna work. If you don't care about people's expectations, why even bother to talk to them. I have trust issues myself. I find it difficult to trust people so I don't open up much to internet strangers. If you come from a place of humility everyone appreciates it. Work on social calibration. Men should. Also women screen for woman-friendly or woman - safe behavior. This is valid. A woman's prime focus in many areas of life is safety. It's a key survival concern. I agree with Leo on this that people's behaviors are rooted in survival. I don't like to go too far into something if I'm not sure what I want to say. I don't want to jump the gun. Also strangers create an uncertainty in me which is valid. In fact most people have stranger phobia. According to me and my dating experience, men should work on four core things — woman-friendliness, social calibration, distance, comfort-space dynamic [creating a comfort space as well as giving space or room, Teal Swan explains this beautifully with her male containment video. I'll post about it later because I'm in the process of writing this post so I can't exit the screen while doing this] I don't want to be a free therapist to anyone lol. In fact I'm the one who needs therapy the most. Understand healthy narcissism. I need to integrate that a bit. Emerald on the forum once told me that I lack masculinity and that I need to integrate the masculine into me. And she is right and I absolutely agree with her. I always bring my microscopic radar out. I think my husband overthinks a bit too. If I like someone and really appreciate them, I want to have a very honest relationship with them, like anyone male or female. I want to keep it as authentic as possible. I'm more vulnerable when I know deep down I can fully trust that person and they will honor my needs.. Often I have acted like a doormat in my life and I want to discontinue that pattern.

I don’t agree with this statement. I think it’s been put out there far too long by the left. It’s difficult to measure something like this. What makes life easier or harder? If we are talking about economic mobility at a certain point in time, sure. Other than that it’s hard to keep tally on everything each person faces considering society is made up of individuals. Young white men have reported some of the highest levels of suicide and depression. I would not call that an easier life. And then the left thinks we want to vote for them after drilling and propagating this notion for decades. Times change. This is not exactly true anymore. Everyone faces challenges in different areas of life.

What would happen to you in the spirit world if you reached full enlightenment, but then soon after you committed physical suicide? Not out of hatred or depression for this world, your love for this physical world is very deep, but you just felt like playing a different game, to just go to the other side sooner because you simply wanted to. It could thought of as, you love your country, but you feel like living in another country because you just want to. How would this affect your reincarnation cycle? I understand if you reach enlightenment, your reincarnation cycle ends, but if you commit suicide after enlightenment would you be somehow forced to go back into the reincarnation cycle? Also, would you be left in some lower dimension or even hell if you did this even after enlightenment? Or maybe somehow cause yourself some other negative consequence. Or would it all be the same as just dying of natural causes, where you would end up going into some very high dimension and be free of the reincarnation cycle?

I'm grateful for your graciousness in trying to understand women's issues so thanks for opening such a sensitive issue that is rarely discussed. A better relationship with period is quite difficult. I have heard a lot of men resent their girlfriends or wives when they're on their period. An empathetic approach might help. Understanding why some women act hostile and aggressive on period days might help. The aggression comes from experiencing constant physical pain and that pain leads to a low mood, extra sensitivity and mild to severe aggression. It varies a lot among women. Some women are quite lucky if their period is painless. I wish I had that luck. Thanks for trying to understand. However this is not the case with most men. They cannot be patient around their girlfriends on their periods. I understand the frustration. Men want the picture perfect girlfriend or wife and I wish life was that beautiful for us women to be able to give that happiness, joy and perfection to men too. Reality comes in the way though. Mother nature perhaps wanted it that way. I don't expect men to understand much because it's beyond their scope unless they have to experience it themselves. So I get the anger a man might feel if his girl is acting weird on her period. I don't know why I feel aggression towards men on my period. They didn't cause it. But maybe it's some form of envy that men don't have to suffer like this. Or that female sexuality exists to pleasure men. Sometimes I wonder if my life would be great if I were born a man. Then I wouldn't need to suffer physical pain. Also the aggression could be a biological response as in resistance to sex, so converted to resistance to men. Because sex and men are attached in the female psyche as much as sex and women are correlated in the male psyche. I mean I have heard men hate women if they don't wanna have sex with them. Let's say they don't want to submit to sex or feel some aversion to it and a woman begins to grind on them, I think the man is going to hate her for doing that because he is resisting the idea of sex in his mind so he doesn't want the temptation. Probably something similar happens in the female psyche when she doesn't want or need sex, she wants to be resistant to it, in turn she might be resistant to male attention or male glances or attempts to flirt with her. This is how I can best explain the aggression felt against men. Because sex needs equal participation and when that's not the case, the attraction can feel stolen, if you get my idea. I don't think a man will ever understand it. I don't even expect him too. In this sense I have empathy for men because it cannot be imposed on to them to understand something that they never had to experience. I similarly do not comprehend male horniness either. So I don't blame men. And consequently, I don't find it fair to share such things with a man because it's really not his territory. Ironically a lot of women don't understand either especially if they didn't have painful periods themselves. Trust me on this. I had a lot of women shame me haha. They would say things like — it's just a period. It hurts when a woman does it. Slut shaming and period shaming is done 100× more by women than men. If I wear a sexy dress, it will be a woman who will point it out first that there's a problem with it. I remember my sister thrashing and beating me when I was on my period laying in bed. I kept screaming in pain and she violently dragged me out. That was also my first suicide attempt because I was in unbearable pain. My mom confessed to me one day that my grandmother did not even teach her period hygiene. All that aside. I generally look up to women who are more sympathetic and kind and who give me the sense of true company. So they don't judge and offer a shoulder. In this sense my husband has been my biggest blessing. He almost acts like a nurse on my period, always gives me space and speaks comforting words to make me feel better. That's a great gift. I wish all boyfriends and husbands would do that. I appreciate you being supportive. My periods are very regular, almost to a perfection. There's something (I don't know if there exists a medical term for this) like an anticipatory anxiety that I experience with every period, right before the period, I know the date when it's approaching, so my body begins to tighten up or tense up a bit in anticipation and my mind gets nervous knowing it would be coming. I think women have a lot of period related anxiety, especially women who suffer difficult periods, these anxieties can be about the length of the period, socially embarrassing situations (hard to express this one but I have this fear that my clothes might get stained in public and the anticipatory anxiety of this embarrassing situation makes me avoid public outing on my period so I cancel doctor's appointments or events in advance.) I canceled many of my zumba classes before my period just out of fear of not being able to attend due to the stain problem. So there's that. A lot of men don't understand that women wish to stay absent on their period days and they assume it to be an excuse. I hate it when it's misconstrued like that. It's also partially women's fault too, because women make it sound like a taboo when such things are discussed openly. There is no disgust in explaining things that need to be understood especially by the opposite gender. Men shame this as well. I recently saw a thread in which I read this on this forum Overly feminist people. Too much of gender equality related content. Too many of shorts in which people are saving girls. Too many of sex and periods related talks using the excuse, "we are progressives", "we are liberals", "we are a cool generation ". I guess that's the difference between eastern and western men. Eastern men consider it a taboo to discuss period related stuff. Not trying to attack the user but just trying to make a point. In Eastern cultures, female sexuality is suppressed very badly and anything related to sex, women, period is shamed and tabooed. It's definitely progressive to openly discuss such topics and there's no shame or taboo or overly feministic about it. So such opposition of feminism is quite regressive Yea with time it gives me an idea when to expect my period. As well as what to expect. They have a strong correlation to how women react to sexual urges toward men at least in my perspective. I can't account for all women. But if you are asking for my individual opinion then my sexuality is definitely tied to how I feel hormonally. I'm grateful you opened this topic. Very few men care to understand the woman side of things so cheers for being the man to take the lead. Thanks to you too.

- Prior to the first intifada the population was so passive to the constant abuse that israel barely used anyone to guard it, when they finally reacted in the first intifada israel responded with mass violence, that is when Hamas was formed and when the terror increase. That’s like saying if I am beating you and you hit me back if I start stabbing you it’s your fault. https://btselem.org/statistics/first_intifada_tables These are the casualties of the first intifada, note the amount of Israelis killed by Palestinians in the first and second year compared to the amount of Palestinians killed. - Then why are there hundreds of thousands of settlers in the west bank if they want to give it back? And the settlements increased under liberal Zionist administrations. Even the two state deals offered by Israel, aside from their many other issues, required leaving settlement blocks. - They haven’t done a suicide bombing in years (prior to the attempted one after Oct 7) and hamas was expelled from the West Bank, yet the situation just gets worse. - The Arab peace initiative was offered and still is, and Israel rejected it.

Hello, So I have never been with a woman, and the pain of being this age without even having had a girlfriend can almost be crippling - I don't want to walk around suicidal depressed rage in case it attracts negative experiences in my life, which it has done, as for example my ability to focus is diminished almost to wanting to die - So 27 feels too old to be a virgin, and over the years I continue to bottle down these hormones, but sometimes like once a week, or every two weeks the bottle pops open and I contemplate ending my life ... If I do not ever meet a woman, and thus never have my needs met - I must know Leo, am I fine to commit suicide? Will there be reprecussions on the other side? Or will this free me from this internal torment - Do I have the right to feel this suicidal rage being my age and having missed out ... I am near to 30, nor do I know how I'll afford marriage, or if marriage will destroy me anyways - Can someone tell me why I should not just end it? Thank you Please, this continues bothering me and as the days pass the rage continues and I do my best to live more positive and light hearted, but still - Why don't I just end it? What keeps me alive Leo - I mean did I choose this life or what, can I choose my next life where everything is easier and better? Why is this life on such hard mode with a mind of its own going some direction ...

@Tristan12 You are probably the type who likes to overthink. Don't worry so much. You will probably be able to survive with the resources you have. Just be disciplined and do the work required. One purpose of doing meditation is actually to bring back control of your mind. The mind seems to overthink a lot. You can try to drown yourself with work or activities. The other way is to gain back control of your mind. If you think about it, people who committed suicide are mostly people who have lost control of their mind. Stop overthinking. Another way is to practice letting go.

The thing in another words is that you realized that the form is just form, with nothing else behind. It's transparent, like an hologram, has not meaning. You were totally attached to the meaning, same than me or anything else. When you perceive the absence of meaning you perceive the absence of everything, but that's the vision of a drug addict that is in the paradise and there is not cocaine, then he perceive that there is nothing. There is no meaning, but there is substance. The substance is the reality, it's real, exist. It's you. You are not a person, are the substance of the reality, the person is form, and you already saw that the form is empty, then only the substance remains. Open yourself to it and that's it. What prevents the realization of the true nature is the form. If the form reveals as empty loose it's strength Why not commit suicide? Because seems that it's a path that we have to follow, it's not just form, it's the flow of the reality

@Breakingthewall Is actually crazy dude. I get what ur telling. But now i dont understand why being alive instead of committing suicide

@Leo GuraHow to defeat the devil? Right now I have no other solution on how to kill the devil than to commit suicide! This in my limited perspective would be the end all solution to beating the devil, since I am the devil the only way to kill the devil is to kill myself. I would never do that because I'm not suicidal but in my skewed logic that could be the only solution at my level of development. I'm curious how you handle the devil? What tools do you use to triumph over the Devil without becoming the Devil you yourself. My life purpose is to annihilate the devil out of this world. I will become the candle that destroys the cloak of darkness under which the Devil hides.

The distinction between physical and emotional abuse isn't that clear. For example, punching me in the face could cause me to fear you thus abusing both physically and emotionally. It is a manipulation and control tactic. In some cases emotional abuse can manifest as physical symptoms. For example after being repeatedly abused verbally and emotionally, it could create a situation where you are bottling up your emotions seems like the safest option. This can lead to muscle tightness, muscle spasms, and physical pain. There can also be various chemical reactions in your brain and body due to the fear and anger created. This is why I heard a psychologist argue that emotional violence in a sense is indirect physical violence. I'll let you decide if you agree or not. In my case emotional abuse has complicated my medical treatment. I was prescribed an anti psychotic because I was ruminating on my family situation which made me want to kill myself along with antidepressants which consistently made me feel worse. The medication damaged my liver and didn't solve the problem anyway. I came to realize that the systems around medicine and therapy had failed me by giving me medicine that worsened my condition while therapists treated me as if my lack of coping skills was the problem. I was treated as if there was something wrong with me even though most of attachments were developed as a survival strategy for a challenging situation I was forced to endure. With the threat of continued abuse, no amount books, spirituality, personal development, pills, and coping skills would be enough to give me peace of mind. The answer is for me to get away from the people who refuse to change like my mother and sister. Suicide could be a trauma response to various forms of abuse. My suicidal thoughts stopped when I learned My sister was moving out and I wouldn't have to live with her anymore. The threat of continuing to live with her impacted my decision to commute to college because I would be stuck in the same situation for 6 years of be forced to make an enormous financial sacrifice by living on campus or by spending my life savings on a down payment. Maybe I was spending all this time trying to fix myself, but I wasn't the problem. I also don't like the therapists who sent me back to live with these people due to my history of suicidal thoughts assuming my family would be helpful.

If you call a spontaneous knee-jerking suicide scare exciting and fun and having people concerned about you, then maybe you might want to reconsider your ideas of fun. This is why I said nothing other than I love you. I tire of all these suicide scares and will treat them like the boy that cried wolf from now on. None will get my attention anymore other than maybe a "you are loved" comment.

I think you're underrating your ability to handle high doses mate, the integration is just as important as the trip. Yes those doses would break many, like dialling emergency numbers, destroying things physically, trying to hurt themselves or others. After all the trip is just what you put in *your* body. 25 ug is gonna put some humans into psychosis that lasts days/weeks. If you've hit a point where it got troublesome, real and scary and direct it's just the summit of what these substances can do to someone, it isn't to do with dosage or frequency Objective supporter of psychedelic use here for the foreseeable future and had the knife of hell/evil/fear right up to my throat from them (metaphorically, i never put a knife to my throat on psychs, they scared me enough where i thought i had irrevocably put myself into hell) Objective none believer in internal/external religion or spirituality. That's just calling 1s and 0s a detailed mosaic Just make sure you do it right the first time, cos nothing is worse than a suicide chump :((((((((

@Nivsch There's a lot of errors in your chatgpt prompt. In Iraq for example, a lot of civilian deaths were from the anarchy, trauma, and sectarian hysteria that ensued. Suicide bombings alone account for 20-40% of civilian deaths, according to the same AI you used. That's not even taking into account roadside bombs. For afghanistan you have to account for these things too, and according to the same AI you used, roadside and suicide bombing accounts for 50-60% of civilian deaths. It also didn't account for the indirect deaths from sanctions, decreased infrastructure and resources for basic needs, care, increased poverty, and all these other sorts of things. Which raises the death toll and accounts for a lot of preventable deaths. Which is another thing that can be compared, and one where the U.S. did terribly in.

@Leo Gura I see what you mean by keeping these discussions separate. Unfortunately, my fear and avoidance of relationships stems from my attempts to escape deep pain and suffering caused by being trapped in abusive situations. My suicidal ideation and attempts were accompanied by me thinking about the hopelessness of being stuck with my family. This is actually a common trauma response to abusive relationships. I'd rather die then end up in a situation like my girlfriend committing suicide to leave me a single father with a child who hates me and blames me for her death and therefore develops severe behavioral problems leading to criminal activity like mass shootings. My attitude toward relationships needs to come from a place of reduced fear and avoidance. They prevent me from giving and accepting love. I remember I told you I was deeply wrong in terms of my attitude and approach to relationships in general. My family has shaped this attitude in a deeply negative way while on the surface pushing love out of social conditioning. I'll consider dating like my therapists recommended next year after I meet my current goals. Where did you learn about relationships and what is your general attitude? Will you make videos on building healthy relationships in the future?

My .. the girl I'm with is hinting at committing suicide if I leave her. What do I do?

Sometimes you invest your energy into wrong sources. There's nothing inherently evil. Just what I believe. ................................. Samadhi works but through the gateway of good and evil. ................................ I'm looking forward to integrating purity into my practice. Also I want to stay away from the world in general. I think that spiritual communities can cause a ton of harm. ................................. I don't know what made me write this. But I write it with a heavy heart. Like any other thing that comes with it's own set of pros and cons, spiritual communities aren't exempt from drawbacks either. I'm not specifically talking about forums although forums are a fraction of it. I'm just saying communities in general. I have reached a point where I'm seriously contemplating whether being a part of a larger community is really worth it if the results aren't really there and if things are just getting worse with the illusion that you're on a spiritual path and you are achieving something when in reality millions of people with mental and physical problems turn to spirituality only for bypassing their real issues, are barely able to cope through life and end up being and doing worse when they get on the spiritual path. They start to rot and lose interest in life and daily activities once they begin to live in a solipsistic bubble. Instead of thriving, they start rapidly degrading. The consequences can be anywhere from suicide to mental illness to death or just living like a zombie. I'm sure people in the past have also expressed such a sentiment on this forum before. It's a routine thing, not to mention the problem of false teachings. Things that degrade your mental well being or just take you on a path of disillusionment. You gotta do the math yourself. Are you in this for the better or are things genuinely not turning out to be the way they should. I was barely 9 years old when I first started with spirituality. I haven't come very far because life came in between. I devoted a significant portion of my life in chasing delusions (let's put it that way). I suffered autism at a young age and in my preteens I was obsessed with spirituality and religion. I always thought I was looking for something, searching for something, there was this existential crisis like thing going on with me. I was often at my wits end. Don't get me wrong. I derived a lot of benefit from this forum itself. Leo's teachings, his videos on personal development were a great starting point. But there's a problem. Everything is not so hunky dory. I still think that I suffered a bit in the process and not in a good way. It's like "invited" suffering. I don't know if this is the inherent nature of spiritual work. But I went through phases of insanity. But so far not so stellar results. I have significant mental illness. I don't know if that's interfering with my spiritual stuff. One thing I casually noticed in spiritual communities is the huge problem of spiritual ego. People fight a lot over what's right or wrong. There's a certain dogmatism that accompanies it. This downgrades the whole spiritual process significantly. This is not alien to any community, it's to be found in every spiritual community. Be careful with what you decide to put your energy into. I have suffered significantly. What principles should an ideal spiritual community adhere to? I think these are the principles I came up with that in my opinion a spiritual community should be able to reflect. Uplifting each other Keeping harmony Polite behavior Reduction in negativity Encouraging open mindedness Healing each other Non judgement attitude Peace keeping Thoughtful debating No one-upping No cult like rules Respect for everyone Working on behaviors Video conferencing and meet ups. Face to face interactions are better Flattened hierarchies No us versus them narrative No messiah complex Discouraging gaslighting Encouraging extensive communication Discouraging dogmatism Fostering understanding and mutual harmony Showing love Embodying values Working on integrity and character Fostering forgiveness Fostering mercy Fostering kindness Raising each other's vibration Encouraging emotional maturity Keeping community tight knit Cutting down spiritual ego Providing a safe space Not preying on vulnerability Extending support to people who suffer more Having a judgement free zone Fostering compassion Dissolution of separation Fostering Unity Empathetic environment Minimum use of power Encouraging free expression Valuing one another Not demonizing Embodiment of love One of the key foundations for life is self-awareness. Understanding ourselves, our strengths, weaknesses, values, and motivations – is crucial for personal growth and development. Self-awareness allows us to make informed choices that align with our authentic selves, rather than being swayed by external influences or societal expectations. It provides us with the clarity and insight needed to pursue our passions, set meaningful goals, and cultivate healthy relationships. Another essential foundation for life is resilience. Life is filled with challenges, setbacks, and disappointments, and resilience is what enables us to bounce back from adversity and continue moving forward. Resilience is the ability to adapt to change, overcome obstacles, and persevere in the face of adversity. It is a mindset that embraces challenges as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than insurmountable barriers. gratitude is a foundational value too, that enriches our lives and enhances our well-being. and define our purpose.. A small insignificant model I can follow everyday is the principle->action->outcome. Everything starts with a principle. Have a morning ritual or a morning habit. One thing that really gives me a kick are animal videos. Animals and predators in hot pursuit of prey. I work in a yarn factory but I need a better job with slightly more income. I don't plan on hoarding wealth, I don't want to. I want to spend a lot of my time doing spiritual stuff. But I sometimes wonder if developing a core foundation of my life will give me better prospects for higher stuff. Yesterday I gifted myself a diary so I can write a bit about my struggles with autism and foundational stuff. I'm thinking about going on a retreat in a log cabin. I just wish to shut off everything for a while. How would that life be? I want to maintain some early morning rituals. Focus music. I need to ask myself productivity based questions. One is achieving the flow state. I also need to consistently raise my standards on how I want things to be done and prioritize my mental state to always have an optimum state of mind and a state of flow. So the first thing definitely was principle>action>outcome. Entering flow states. Name 3 random positive actions I did today. Name 3 directed positive actions I did today. Name 3 powerful insights that you had today. Name 4 excuses that you gave today. If there's an outcome then there is success.. We do things because we want to see changes in ourselves. Sometimes we don't have the resources to do so. Sometimes we can't make good of the resources we already have. Some part of this forum is really esoteric. I don't understand some of the terms or should I say language. It can be confusing and sometimes misleading. You have to come down to the nitty gritty of things. I believe that reality is beyond our grasp. And if something is good for you, it will always be good for you. You won't have to regret it. Focus on what's traditional or basic. What works for you? It's your own greed that makes you chase your own tail? Don't be in the habit of always wanting more. Give more, take less. But take whatever is constructive. I'll contemplate on this. This forum is full of Spiritual Ego's and not in a healthy empowering way, if you notice the questions raised repeat themselves many times over, your not real, life is imaginary, God is all there is, sort of stuff, it really gets one nowhere, its someone just philosophizing in away, and philosophy is not so good to identify with since there are presently 8 billion different philosophies in the world today, everyone has one,, It basically our Intellects going out of control, this is rampant all over he world in many different areas of life, it will kill all of us eventually if we don't stop it, first within ourselves then world wide hopefully someday.. Just work on yourself, improve everyday in one area, drop a limitation every week, soon there will be none left... Just work on yourself, improve everyday in one area, drop a limitation every week, soon there will be none left... I can work on other areas of life. And i do a good a job at that. I don't want to lose my basics. But I'm looking for the cherry on top. Been looking for years now. Still a little destabilized while looking for it. Lucid dreaming does help me a shit ton. But I need something more rigid. If there's a 1% growth in my mental state, clarity, presence of mind, flow state, productivity, spiritual essence, minimalism, consciousness, infinite love, vibration and healing quantum that I'll admire that sort of an interaction. Positive affirmations for Foundations I have had a 3 % increase in my productivity in last 4 days. I have had a 1% increase in my productivity in last two days. I'm busy building my foundation. What are you naturally drawn to? What's your inner monologue? Cut down materialism completely You don't need anything at all.. Your mind is supreme. You need nothing material. Your mind doesn't cost money or any material possession at all. Your mind is a canvas. And this is the biggest advantage at your disposal, your own mind. It's like clay. You can shape it anyhow you want. Positive affirmations for Foundations I'm not broken. I'm a vessel of hope. The world tries to break you with its rules. Ironically this brings you closer to yourself. Reality cannot be controlled by humans or man made laws and so all these rules to discipline (especially without love) are futile. They will never work and they increasingly come from an egoic place. The world and it's contents don't help you discover the soul, it sabotages the soul and breaks the vessel mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. You're living the wrong way all your life. Saying thank you before eating. That helps because I'm feeding a vessel. Everything, everyday, eternally The purpose of the vessel is to connect with God. This doesn't require anything. I'm not sure if I'm going into esoteric blah blah. Anything that builds your vessel is good. Anything that breaks your vessel is bad. Kindness builds the vessel. It's simply surrendering to the absolute essence of peace. Nudging my ship forward bit by bit. Not trying to conquer anything. I don't want to go into paranoid states. It was literally the worst state of mind to be in. It made me become the worst version of myself. Literally. Posted on May 18. 2024. I want to build my foundations. I definitely want to. But at the same time I want an ardent spiritual practice to occupy a prominent position in my lifespace. I don't even call it life anymore. I call it lifespace. And heck I wanna do a lot of visualizations. This space wakes me up in a heartbeat. Nothing to worry. All chummy. I began living deep in the forests, high up in the mountains, somewhere in a log cabin. And suddenly I felt disconnected from all of reality. It was like eating dark chocolate. The lucidity of thought. The thoughtlessness of reality. Reality snowballs into a thick fog of meaningless traps that serve nobody's purpose.