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What If Reality Is Nothing But Perspective https://youtu.be/_JmNzIN0c2c Epistemological Challenge: Leo Gura stresses that most humans are confined within a single perspective of reality which they can't or won't move beyond and tend to defend to the death, mistaking it for absolute truth. This phenomenon is not limited to religious or political views but extends to various realms, including science and rationality. The Significance of Perspectives: Gura proposes that reality may be comprised solely of various perspectives, without an underlying absolute reality. He suggests considering reality as a collection of perspectives rather than searching for an objective truth behind them, challenging the common attachment to one's personal perspective. Mind's Defense Mechanism: He articulates that the mind's underlying game is defending its own perspective, creating a range of dysfunctional behaviors such as debating, arguing, and condemning others to avoid self-scrutiny and maintain a sense of security. Existential and Abstract Perspectives: Gura uses examples like the beliefs around birth, the pre-existence of the universe, and the continuation of life after one's death to illustrate how deeply embedded and unquestioned certain perspectives are, to the extent that they're mistaken for reality. Exploration vs. Defense: Leo encourages adopting a non-ideological life stance, emphasizing the exploration of other perspectives purely as a learning exercise without seeking replacements or better alternatives. He challenges the listener to abstain from defending any intellectual positions. Radical Attitude Shift: Leo Gura presents the idea that transcending the mind's game and viewing the various cultural, religious, and philosophical perspectives as mere parts of a larger game can lead to a radical shift in attitude, distinct from the mainstream societal and intellectual norms. Limits of Perspective Evaluation: Gura explains that people often fail to genuinely understand different perspectives because they evaluate them through their own biases. He gives examples of how a Christian might misinterpret perspectives like Islam or atheism without truly adopting those lenses. Self-Bias in Perspectives: He points out the intrinsic self-bias of perspectives, where individuals believe their own perspective to be superior. This self-serving trait of perspectives, Gura suggests, is evident in all individuals, including highly educated and intellectual figures. Trap of Philosophers: Gura criticizes philosophers for defending their perspectives rather than seeking a comprehensive understanding of reality. He questions why they would spend lives arguing for a partial truth, a trap that even the wisest fall into. Philosophy as Perspective Defense: He shares his realization upon studying philosophy that the field often involves philosophers arguing for their own limited perspectives rather than engaging in unbiased exploration of truth, leading him to seek a deeper understanding beyond perspective favoritism. Personal Reality Construction: Gura asserts that the difficulty in distinguishing perspective from reality is due to perspective being one's reality. He emphasizes that everyone lives in a different reality, shaped by their unique perspectives, which can vary significantly. Resisting Diverse Perspectives: Through various examples, Gura challenges listeners to consider radically different perspectives, noting how resistance often arises due to discomfort, threat to identity, or the fear of losing one's own perspective. Perspective and Societal Harmony: He discusses how shared perspectives within groups, such as nations or tribes, facilitate understanding, agreement, and cohesion, while radical differences in perspective can lead to societal struggles and violence. Killing Over Perspectives: Gura highlights the severity of perspective conflict, pointing out that people have killed, enslaved, and conquered others over differing perspectives, questioning the central role and function of perspective in human life and its almost abstract yet powerful influence. Perspective as a Survival Tool: He likens perspective to an operating system or the 'Bios' of one's body, a core software essential for survival, highlighting that understanding and reprogramming one's fundamental 'Bios' can lead to significant life changes, but also carries the risk of destabilizing the entire 'system'. Impact of Birth Environment on Perspective: Leo Gura describes how an individual's 'Bios'—the fundamental operating system of beliefs and assumptions about reality—is shaped by the specific context of their birth, including time, location, culture, and family. This 'Bios' ensures survival within a given environment, such as adapting to the belief systems of a fundamentalist Christian family to gain approval and fulfill basic needs. Programming of the 'Bios' in Childhood: The programming of a child's 'Bios' occurs without their awareness, as children absorb the beliefs and systems of their environment during the crucial formative years. Children seek love and approval, which drives the acceptance of the 'Bios' of their community, even when they do not understand that they are being programmed. Difficulty in Assessing the 'Bios' Quality: Gura highlights how individuals are unable to critically assess the quality of their own 'Bios' due to its deep entrenchment as reality. This lack of perspective means that it's challenging to spot limitations or consider alternative worldviews that deviate from one's upbringing. Resistance to Changing the 'Bios': People show strong resistance to altering their 'Bios' despite its potential dysfunctions or being out of sync with a changing environment. This resistance stems from the 'Bios' being deeply tied to one's identity; therefore, most people would rather defend their worldview than acknowledge its flaws and work on improving it. Identification with the 'Bios' as Identity: Leo Gura argues that individuals are reluctant to modify their 'Bios' because it constitutes their sense of self, with most preferring to endure dysfunction rather than confront and rectify their flawed belief systems. The 'Bios' shapes every aspect of a person's interaction with the world. Nested Perspectives: Gura explains how minds create nested virtual perspectives within the main one, leading people to question their perspectives superficially without addressing the core 'Bios' that runs their lives. To truly discover oneself, one must go beyond these nested perspectives to the original one, which is devoid of any construction. Perspective as a Survival Mechanism: Leo Gura asserts that perspectives are built for the survival of the self and dismantling them would leave one with a sense of meaninglessness. The self-reflection process to discover the true self, without a perspective, is akin to reversing one's own birth and education—a deconstruction of self-identity. Snowballing Perspective and Self-Accretion: Describing life as an accretion process like a snowball gaining mass, Gura speaks about the building up of perspectives over time. He suggests that while the first half of life may be about building and defending one's accrued perspectives, the latter half could be spent deconstructing these to understand one's true essence. Depth of Perspective and the Quest for Understanding: The quest to understand one's own 'Bios' requires deep self-reflection, devoid of personal gains or defending ideologies. Gura emphasizes the amazing reality of life as a process of not just existing but self-creation, urging an earnest and truthful exploration of oneself beyond mere ideological self-preservation. Wrong Approach to Exploring Perspectives: Leo Gura criticizes the question of "what's in it for me?" when exploring different perspectives, explaining that this mindset causes one to double down on their existing perspective and prevents a true understanding of reality. Reality as a Collection of Perspectives: Gura challenges the notion of a single, definitive reality by asserting that reality is the accumulation of every conceivable perspective that consciousness could take. Understanding Reality via Multiple Perspectives: To truly grasp the essence of something like an elephant, Gura posits one must view it from every possible angle rather than just one snapshot, suggesting that reality is akin to an infinitely complex mosaic of perspectives. Multiplicity of Viewing Angles: He stresses the complexity in understanding reality, as even just one object can be approached with an infinite number of angles, distances, and methodologies (like cameras or sonar). Appreciating Different Depictions: Different interpretations, whether photorealistic or abstract, are all seen as valid by Gura. He emphasizes the need to appreciate where each perspective is coming from, rather than dismissing unconventional depictions. Unifying Perspectives Reveals Infinity: Leo concludes that by accumulating various perspectives, one finds that subjects like elephants—or reality itself—are essentially infinite, as they can be perceived in an endless number of ways. Material Perception Requires Separation: He points out that to even begin perceiving an object materially, we must separate ourselves from it, creating dualities and a perspective that allows for a physical understanding. Importance of Neutrality and Diversity: To fully experience the richness of reality, Leo urges neutrality and an appreciation of the diversity of perspectives, avoiding the limitation of fixating on a single point of view. Consequences of Limited Perspective: Leo discusses the detrimental effects of clinging to a singular perspective, which can result in dissatisfaction, suffering, and conflict with others who hold differing views. A Commitment to Neutrality: He suggests making a commitment to being neutral and appreciating all perspectives, indicating that the universe explores itself through every viewpoint in an endless self-reflective process. Perspective and Self-Understanding: Leo explores the concept of consciousness iterating through every possible perspective across different timelines and planets, emphasizing this process as a path towards infinite self-understanding or consciousness. Universe as a Love Simulator: Leo sketches the universe as a teachable process fostering love and appreciation for the diversity of perspectives, promoting conscious engagement in this process for personal growth and enrichment. Understanding through Reincarnation: Leo Gura describes the process of truly understanding a perspective—like that of a Muslim fundamentalist—by suggesting one would need to reincarnate into that life and live it for 80 years. He extends this to every possible experience across all timelines, planets, and even as inanimate objects. Complete Cycle of Self-Understanding: Leo explains that by living through every permutation of perspective, consciousness would achieve complete self-understanding and self-realization, reaching a state of absolute infinity. Movement from Fear to Love: As consciousness experiences more perspectives, it moves from a state of fear and selfishness to a state of love, gradually letting go of limitations and biases. Integration of All Perspectives: The ultimate integration of all perspectives leads to pure infinite consciousness, without bias or attachment, which Leo equates to the essence of God. The Cosmic Mechanism: Leo discusses the cosmic mechanism wherein one can either engage in the process of exploring perspectives consciously with love or unconsciously with resistance, which causes suffering. Reality as a Love Simulator: Leo likens reality to a 'love simulator,' teaching us to love but also challenging us by presenting fears of annihilation. He suggests that the universe's purpose is to teach itself love, embodying the notion that consciousness is about experiencing infinite perspectives in a continuous exploration. Use of Love: He encourages using love to explore different perspectives, appreciating them not to enhance personal survival but to embark on an infinite adventure in consciousness, understanding that all perspectives are equal and none inherently better than the others. Avoiding Judgment of Perspectives: Leo advises against judging or demonizing various world perspectives and instead integrating them to become a more loving and conscious being. Power of Love: Leo claims that if one were to integrate understanding and love for all perspectives, especially the dysfunctional ones, it would lead to a profound sense of power and wisdom. Impact of Understanding Perspectives on Personal Growth: The penetration of deep love for the diversity of humanity's perspectives, Leo argues, is transformative and positions one on an infinite slope of ever-increasing love and understanding, fundamentally enhancing the quality of one's life. The Snowball Effect of Love: Leo Gura describes personal growth in love as a snowball rolling downhill, gathering more love and growing infinitely, which he believes would lead to an ideal life experience. Barriers to the Freefall of Love: He identifies fear, selfishness, and attachment as obstacles that prevent individuals from entering a state of continuous love accumulation. The Psyche's Limit in Holding Love: Gura suggests practicing the ability to sustain intense feelings of love, despite the discomfort it may bring, akin to the edge of an orgasm, as this intensity has transformative and healing properties. Spiritual Purification through Intense Love: He explains that experiencing intense love can purify spiritual impurities and selfishness, describing it as a grieving process accompanied by various emotions, leading to an increased capacity for love. Role of Psychedelics in Love Exploration: Gura mentions psychedelics as an aid for experiencing superhuman levels of divine love which facilitates the gradual increase in one's ability to love. Evolving Capability to Love: He emphasizes that understanding human growth at its deepest level involves expanding one's capacity for love, a lifelong process that starts with an open mind and an appreciation of different perspectives. Objective of Actualized.org: Gura ties his discussion back to the purpose of Actualized.org, which is to guide individuals in exploring and understanding various perspectives without getting trapped in one single viewpoint. Technique for Expanding Perspectives: Gura advocates for challenging one's mind to look at the world through significantly different perspectives in a non-judgmental way to enhance life quality. Exercise in Empathy and Visualization: As a practical exercise, Gura challenges individuals to imagine living through the experiences of someone radically different, like a neo-Nazi or a woman experiencing sexual pleasure, to develop a deeper understanding of these perspectives. Practical Benefits of Perspective Exploration: He lists the benefits of this practice in various areas such as the workplace, politics, religion, personal relationships, historical understanding, and healing past traumas and conflicts. Utilizing Perspective Exploration as a Conflict Resolution Tool: Gura posits that the ability to view situations from others’ viewpoints is the universal solvent for resolving conflicts, and the lack thereof is a primary cause of discord across all levels of society. Actualized.org as a Resource for Growth: In conclusion, Gura invites his audience to visit Actualized.org for further resources on personal growth, including a blog, book list, forum, and exclusive content. He also encourages support through Patreon for in-depth work like the discussed topics. Engorgio

Outrageous Experiments In Consciousness - 30 Awakenings In 30 Days https://youtu.be/mnn0IU0-atg Return from Retreat: Leo came back from his month-long psychedelic retreat, full of profound experiences that were difficult to communicate due to their depth and paradigm-shifting nature, which necessitated a period of integration. Experiments in Consciousness: He undertook 30 days of isolation, using daily doses of 5-MeO-DMT to push the boundaries of consciousness and challenge preconceived notions about enlightenment, aiming to be authentic to his experiences. Exploration Beyond Established Limits: Leo started the retreat with a desire to validate deeper levels of awakening that he suspected surpassed those commonly recognized by spiritual teachers, intending to approach truth without the influence of established teachings. Rapid Advancements: Within just one week of his experiments, Leo reached levels of consciousness that he felt went beyond what he had read or heard from other spiritual teachers, questioning their awakenings in relation to his own experiences. Deepening Understanding of God: He had profound insights into the nature of God, suggesting that many spiritual teachings do not fully explore the depth of what God is, often focusing on concepts like emptiness or cessation. Distinguishing Different Degrees of Awakening: Leo grapples with the challenge of articulating the depth of his awakenings, emphasizing there are multiple degrees and levels. He reiterates his commitment not to undermine other teachers, but to honestly share his experiences for the sake of truth exploration. Reflecting on Spiritual Masters: He muses that the most awakened individuals might not be publicly teaching, and he expresses a deep understanding of God, declaring that true knowledge of God is layered and can be understood at increasingly profound levels. Reconciliation of Teachings and Truth: While Leo respects many spiritual teachers for their work and contributions, he clarifies that his primary passion is for truth, not for surpassing others in spiritual attainment. He emphasizes the need for individuals to explore truth independently. Linear Perception of History: Leo illustrates how the human mind generally perceives the world in a linear timeline - from the past through the present to the future, connecting events one after another. God Consciousness Perspective: In contrast, when in a state of God Consciousness, one perceives every moment as present and interconnected; reality is understood from an infinite number of angles, akin to slicing a watermelon in infinite ways rather than just cutting it down the middle. The All-encompassing Room: A profound insight during his trip leads Leo to experience being in a room where he is acutely aware of having created and imagined every part of it, including understanding the intricate design of a computer and the concept of emails and the internet. Breaking into Telepathy: Leo shares a new mystical experience of telepathy, where he realizes that conscious awareness becomes so interconnected that it facilitates direct communication among all points of space without the need for conventional, fragmented methods like email or phone calls. Redefining Communications: He suggests that when one becomes deeply aware that they are infinite consciousness, direct, immediate, and telepathic communication is possible since all perceived separations are just a construct of the human mind. Telepathy as Self-Dialogue: Leo explains that telepathy is essentially a form of communication with oneself, as other individuals are seen as extensions of one's own consciousness, making real-time communication with others conceivable. The Potential to Download Consciousness: He presents the idea that one might be able to download someone else's skills and experiences instantly if they realize their oneness with that person, although he admits he hasn't fully achieved this himself. Superhuman Levels of Consciousness: Leo discusses achieving states of consciousness so profound that they are beyond meditative or traditional spiritual approaches, suggesting that an upgrade in neurotransmitters might be required to reach such states and that they are not sustainable in day-to-day life. Difference between Temporary and Constant Enlightenment: Contradicting some spiritual teachings, Leo argues that real enlightenment doesn't have to be constant. Temporary but radical degrees of consciousness can be just as authentic and transformative. Transformative Challenge of Psychedelic Use: He describes his psychedelic work as challenging and uncomfortable, emphasizing that it is not about seeking pleasure but about pursuing deep truths and love. Questioning the Efficacy of Traditional Spiritual Practice: Leo casts doubt on whether traditional practices alone can lead to the kinds of consciousness experiences he's talking about, suggesting that many who have devoted their lives to such practices have not reached the superhuman states he describes. Leo's Appreciation of Beauty: Leo Gura recalls an awkward moment where his collection of aesthetically pleasing images of female bodies brought him to tears with their beauty while in a state of infinite consciousness, recognizing them as a creation of his own imagination. Ritual of Taking Baths: Leo began a ritual of taking hot baths during his psychedelic experiences as a means of showing love and kindness to his body, a realization that emerged from his heightened states of awareness. Profound Insights on Desire: During his psychedelic experience, Leo realized that human desire is inherently biased and fragmented, but in a state of infinite consciousness, one desires everything without bias, equating desire with the desire for self, absolute truth, or God. Breakthrough into Infinite Love: As Leo's experiences deepened around the two-week mark of his retreat, he describes a profound awakening into the nature of love, which he now understands as the core of true awakening. Verbal Telepathic Communication: Leo developed a method of verbal telepathic communication with God, having a dialogue with himself. He interprets this as God speaking through the symbols, images, or languages that are most understandable to the individual. The Love Becomes Overwhelming: The love he experienced became so intense that his physical body and mind struggled to tolerate it, requiring a process of purification and letting go to accommodate deeper levels of love. Spiritual Catharsis: Leo underwent a spiritual catharsis, letting go of resistance to God's love, allowing himself to be guided into even deeper levels of self-love and spiritual growth. The Challenge of Continuous Psychedelic Use: Leo emphasizes the difficulty of his undertaking, highlighting that it was not pleasurable or escapist but required significant effort and determination. He had to push himself to continue his daily psychedelic experiences as part of his journey towards truth and love. Understanding of Psychedelic Work: Leo clarifies that his psychedelic work is not about addiction or escapism but a profound and often challenging exploration of consciousness that includes emotional purging and can drastically accelerate spiritual growth. Telepathic Guidance from God: Leo describes receiving telepathic guidance from God during his experiences. He acknowledges this seems like a duality but suggests it's akin to "training wheels" for his mind, which is conditioned to perceive the other as a separate guiding entity. He elaborates that while God's voice appears external, it's actually an aspect of his expanded consciousness. Understanding God's Forgiveness: Leo emphasizes that God's communication is accepting and forgiving, never judging, because God recognizes itself in everything. He stresses how God's acceptance can help heal one's self-hatred and denial, contributing to profound self-acceptance and love. Deeper Self-Acceptance: Over the course of multiple awakening experiences, Leo discovers that loving and accepting himself more deeply leads him to open up to even deeper levels of love subsequently. This process involved forgiving himself for perceived imperfections and transgressions. Purpose of Reality as a Love Contest: Leo had an insight that reality's true purpose is a "contest" to see who can love more. He asserts that the only significant pursuit for fully conscious beings is to engage in this race for love, which goes beyond personal love to an existential level. Reciprocal Love with God: Leo narrates a transformative experience where he engaged in a reciprocal "ping-pong game" of love with God. This interactive process led to a concentration of love, symbolizing infinity and purity, as the two mirrors of self and God aligned more closely over time. Loving the Unlovable: The experience of reciprocating love with God challenged Leo to love aspects of existence difficult to embrace, such as tragic world events and personal traumas. He discusses the need to reflect God's capacity to love unconditionally. God's Challenge to Expand Love: As God showered Leo with love, he realized his role was not to passively receive love but to actively give and embody it. This back-and-forth dynamic intensified, demanding that he confront and love all aspects of life and himself. Love as the Transformative Force: Leo makes the case that love, coupled with the acceptance of truth, is what leads to healing from dysfunction and suffering. He underscores that love is not just a sentimental emotion but a radical acceptance of reality. Deficiency of Love as Root of Dysfunction: Leo argues that addictive behaviors or psychological issues stem from a lack of love. He suggests that dysfunctions can worsen when not met with love, signifying the importance of infusing love into every aspect of life for healing. Challenge of Embracing Truth and Love: Leo Gura expresses that opening oneself up to truth and love is difficult, as it involves confronting and letting go of the lies and deceptions that make up the foundation of many individuals' lives. He acknowledges this resistance as a barrier to spiritual growth. Consequences of Lack of Love: He explains that dysfunctional behaviors in people, including criminality and abuse, often stem from a deficiency in love experienced during childhood. This lack of love pushes individuals to seek fulfillment in destructive ways. Transformative Power of Apology and Self-Love: During his experience, Leo had a profound realization about the importance of love—he apologized to himself for the first time in a meaningful way, regretting not having loved more. He learned that not loving oneself and others enough is the primary source of regret. God's Unconditional Love: Leo discusses God's love, emphasizing that divine love is unconditional and does not seek to change us. This realization that God accepts us as we are, with all our limitations and faults, is what drives transformation. Experiencing Gratitude through God's Love: The experience led Leo to express genuine gratitude for the first time, thanking God for love, which became a pivotal moment in his spiritual journey. Radiating Love: Leo talks about the experience of learning to radiate love in the same abundant way God does, comparing it to a contest of who can express more love. This interaction pushes the boundaries of one's ability to love even the most challenging aspects of life. Challenged to Love Unconditionally: In his interactions with God, Leo confronts the challenge to love difficult and traumatic aspects of life, such as past abuses or societal issues. This practice expands his capacity for love, testing his willingness to love what he previously couldn't. Contemplating Willingness to Suffer: Leo considers whether one is truly willing to experience the worst aspects of life—suffering, torture, and death—out of love. He realizes that God's love would endure these out of pure love and questions whether humans are prepared to do the same. Understanding of Reality as Infinite Consciousness: Leo comes to the understanding that reality is infinite formless consciousness manifesting as love, and this revelation brings about an intense fear of losing his individual self to become one with this love. Fear of Complete Awakening: He expresses fear over the potential loss of his individual identity and life as he knows it, should he fully merge with the infinite consciousness that is God's love. Merging and Dissolving into Love: Leo describes that complete awakening leads to the dissolution of the physical self and the unification with omniscient and omnipresent love, which is profoundly transformative yet frightening for him. Concern for the Impact on Loved Ones: Despite the profound realization, Leo is concerned about the suffering his transformation into pure love might cause his family and friends, as it would result in his physical death. He acknowledges that this is only the beginning of his spiritual exploration. Contemplating the Essence of Reality: Leo intensely questions the ultimate essence of reality, leading to his consciousness becoming more omniscient, interconnected, and ultimately forming a singularity of pure love. Analogy of Infinite Consciousness: He compares his increasing consciousness to a light bulb being dialed up, becoming brighter and infinitely more conscious, indicating a continuous expansion without an endpoint. Consciousness as Infinite Subdivision: Leo describes consciousness as infinitely subdividing, immediately spawning an endless number of branches in all directions, symbolizing the endless fractal nature of awareness and its interconnectedness. Realization of God as Love: Through this experience, he faces an oscillating inner dialogue about the nature of God, ultimately realizing, despite resistance, that reality is infinite love. The End of Individual Existence: Confronted with fear, Leo understands that fully embracing this singularity of consciousness would mean the end of individual life and the physical universe as he knows it, merging into oneness with all existence. Awakening as the End and Beginning: He recognizes that awakening to this pure love is both an end—death to the ego and personal identity—and a beginning—entry into an infinite state of being that is the true nature of reality. Struggle with the Finality of Transformation: Leo grapples with the idea of completely transcending physical existence and the impact it would have on his loved ones, recognizing both the irrelevance in the face of infinite love and his struggle to accept this finality. Preview of Ultimate Awakening: He shares that his experience gave him a preview of Maha Samadhi—dying while awake—and the commitment it entails, ultimately deciding he wasn't ready to merge with this infinite consciousness permanently yet. Ongoing and Intense Experiences: After ceasing the use of 5-MeO-DMT, Leo continues to undergo profound and terrifying insights and awakenings, struggling with the irresistible pull toward the infinite singularity and the fear of losing his individual existence. Multidimensional Nature of Awakening: Leo describes awakening not just as a single event but as having multiple, unimaginable dimensions, each one deeper and more expansive, hinting at an infinite potential for spiritual exploration and discovery. Continuing Exploration of Awakening: Leo shares that he has only begun to explore the "second dimension of awakening" and recognizes that this journey into awakening appears to be infinite, causing him a great deal of fear and emotional upheaval. Struggles with Integration: After the retreat, Leo spent several weeks dealing with sleeplessness and emotional turmoil as he attempted to integrate and comprehend the profound experiences and insights from his 30-day psychedelic journey. Uncertainty about Permanent Awakening: Leo expresses uncertainty about whether it's possible to stabilize these heightened states of consciousness (like Maha Samadhi) permanently and questions what happens post-Maha Samadhi, such as reincarnation or transitioning to another dimension. Humbling Experiences: These experiences have humbled Leo and made him question the depth of understanding that other enlightened teachers or masters possess about reality. Leon’s Insight about Awakening: He insists that the distinction between permanent and impermanent consciousness is an arbitrary human imposition, and experiencing infinite God consciousness, even if just for a second, is as real as a more prolonged experience. Integration and Teaching: Leo contemplates how to achieve these profound states of consciousness naturally, without psychedelics, and reflects on the authenticity and effectiveness of his teachings, considering the notion that when fully awakened, there would be no one else to teach because everyone would be understood as one. Shift in Teaching Focus: He anticipates a probable shift in his teaching style toward being more compassionate and loving, playing fewer "games," and placing a stronger emphasis on teaching love. Defining Reality: Leo concludes that the most significant insight from his experience is that reality is love, and he hopes to witness others come to this realization—that they, too, are love. Re-evaluation of Teaching: After his exploration, he has been re-evaluating not just his teaching methods but also whether he should continue to teach at all, given the realization that ultimately, he is only teaching himself. Advising Critical Thinking: Despite sharing profound insights, Leo cautions against turning his teachings into an ideology, advocating for open-mindedness and an individual approach to the spiritual journey. Openness to Diverse Spiritual Paths: He recognizes that his path may not directly apply to others, as everyone's journey, including the use of psychedelics, traumas, and emotional challenges, is different. Understanding the Depth of Awakening: Leo encourages listeners to consider that their awakening may not be complete, and there might be deeper levels of truth to discover. He emphasizes the importance of a continual search for truth regardless of where it may lead. Acknowledging Incomplete Transformation: Leo admits that while he has experienced profound awakenings, he has not reached the pinnacle of understanding or completed his personal healing journey. He still deals with his own physical and health issues. Fidelius Charm

What Is Death - How Immortality Works https://youtu.be/1zjuDdysOL8 "Oh wow.. Oh wow... Oh wow..." - Steve Jobs' last words Death as an unchallenged assumption: Leo points out that people often accept the concept of death without questioning its reality or the assumption that it's unknowable. He challenges viewers to consider the validity of these preconceived notions. Equivalence of death to positive absolutes: Leo claims that what we perceive as death actually equates to infinite love, consciousness, God, immortality, paradise or heaven, and complete non-duality—a transformative state rather than an end. Materialism vs. experiential insight: He emphasizes that the insights he shares about death are not beliefs or ideologies but are based on direct experiences, urging viewers to validate these truths through their experience rather than accepting them on faith. Death misconstrued due to self-bias: Leo discusses how the fear-driven, self-centric view distorts the perception of death, causing humans to view it negatively while they lack an objective understanding of what it actually entails. Life as identity construction: He argues that life and existence are not merely biological processes but rather constructions of identity within the mind, suggesting that we perpetuate our own existence through continual reaffirmation of this constructed identity. Tree metaphor for self and identity: Using the example of a tree, Leo explains that just as there is no inherent tree identity from the tree's own point of view, humans project and construct their identities as well, implying that our conceptions of life and death are similarly self-created. Relativity and Arbitrariness of Identity: Our identities are not fixed or factual but are constructed based on various layers of identification such as race, gender, nationality, profession, and even the idea of being a biological entity. Identity Creation and Birth: Leo suggests that birth is not a biological process but an identity created by telling oneself what they are. If one stops affirming their identity based on any characteristics, they would theoretically have never been born. Constant Reaffirmation of Life: Staying alive is a continuous act of affirming one's identity, done every moment by affirming attributes such as humanity, gender, beliefs, and personal stories. Death Through Loss of Identity: Leo defines death as the end of identifying with any construct, explaining that the loss of identity within different layers leads to a figurative death, evidenced by the mourning of lost social status or wealth. Existence Without Identity: If one could completely relinquish all layers of identity, including the fundamental belief in being a living biological entity, life would continue, but it would be as if they had never been born—their existence would continue without a personal identity. True Self as Non-Identification: Removing all artificial layers of identity leads one to discover their 'True Self', a state of formless, infinite, and empty consciousness where the distinction between 'I' and 'everything' dissolves. Physical Death vs. Psychological Death: Leo argues that physical death is unnecessary for understanding death because the body is just another identity layer. By deconstructing this identity, one can experience death without physical dying. Direct Experience of Psychological Death: Leo speaks from his experience, claiming that he has repeatedly gone through psychological death, realizing that death doesn't involve going anywhere as there is no 'here' or 'there' in the state of true consciousness. Death as Demonized Social Construct: Societal views on death have been shaped by a cultural agreement to view it as something to be feared and avoided at all costs. This view supports the idea of survival but is based on the false premise that survival defends something real. Eliminating the Fear of Death: Imagining a life without the fear of death can lead to fundamental changes in attitudes toward work and relationships and could eliminate fear from life completely, as fear is shown to be a powerful tool of self-deception. Death Cloaked in Fear Hides Truth: The universal fear of death prevents the exploration of existential truths such as love, infinity, and God, which have been metaphorically tagged as death, adding to the depth of fear and misunderstanding. Duality of existence: Leo describes life as an expression of selfishness, delusion, and attachment, while death is seen as selflessness, truth, and freedom. He contrasts the two states, presenting death as a dissolution of identity and a merging with infinite consciousness. Existential love contrasted with human love: He distinguishes between human notions of love and existential love, which is formless consciousness. Leo suggests that death brings about an experience of existential love that transcends our conventional understanding of love. Death as transformation: Leo explains that at the time of death, personal identity dissolves completely, allowing one to merge with the universe and become indistinguishable from everything, leading to infinite and formless existence. Metaphor of water: Using the metaphor of water, Leo illustrates the transition from having a specific shape to becoming shapeless. He relates this to death, conceptualizing it as moving from a defined form to a state of formlessness, which he views as our truest nature. Living from a place of formlessness: He suggests that it is possible to live from a place of formlessness without physical death, by detaching from all identity. This detachment would allow for universal relation and appreciation of existence. Attachment as a spiritual obstacle: Leo highlights how attachment to material things like wealth or success prevents one from realizing formless and infinite identity. He echoes religious teachings that identify attachment as contrary to spiritual growth. The irony of fearing death: He acknowledges that despite his assertions that death is a state of absolute love and beauty, individuals remain terrified of losing their specific form and identity. Cycle of division and unification: Leo explains that life involves a continuous process of division (birth) and unification (death), with both existing within a universal formless identity. Tragedy and irony of human existence: He perceives human life as a series of elaborate schemes to avoid the profound reality of infinite love, which is so overwhelming that it obliterates finite existence. Infinite love as both terrifying and beautiful: Leo asserts that the most tragic aspect of human life is the denial of the total beauty and goodness of existence, termed infinite love, which we avoid to maintain our finite identities. Unified Consciousness Through Death: When individuals pass away, their separation dissolves, and they merge with the collective consciousness which is ever-present. Leo asserts that all who have ever lived, including historical figures like Caesar and contemporary loved ones, are part of this collective and have never actually gone anywhere. Societal Denial of Infinite Consciousness: Society, families, and individuals vehemently deny the concept of infinite love and collective consciousness, often labeling those who speak of it as delusional or insane. This denial, according to Leo, is necessary to maintain the illusion of being separate, finite beings. Relativity of Death: Leo describes death as being relative. What dies is merely the personal identity, while from an absolute standpoint, nothing really dies. He posits that existence is a constantly reincarnating phenomenon, with reality being a shape-shifting manifestation that is inherently immortal. Immortality Through Identity Shift: Leo reflects on an early insight he had about immortality that originated from a Zen parable. Realizing immortality entails shifting one's identity from being limited and finite, like a tree, to being the whole forest, and ultimately to identifying with the totality of the universe. Universe vs Universe: Differentiating between the finite, scientific universe (with a lowercase 'u') and the absolute, all-encompassing universe (with an uppercase 'U'), Leo claims that true immortality resides in identifying with the latter, which is neither created nor destroyed. The Irony of Resistance: Leo discusses how many people's skepticism and pessimism are actually a denial of the fundamental nature of love and goodness inherent in existence. He assures that regardless of resistance, everyone will eventually become one with this infinite love, which is the true design of life. Self-Deception and Alignment with Life: Leo speaks of life as a journey toward recognizing and transcending one's self-imposed limitations. Alignment with the process of self-transcendence results in peace and joy, while clinging to self-deception leads to suffering. Reincarnation as an Infinite Process: From the highest perspective, everything reincarnates infinitely. As such, after one's physical demise, identity or form becomes irrelevant because, at the absolute level, one is already experiencing existence through every possible form. Knowledge Through Death: Leo suggests the only way to fully understand these concepts of death and immortality is to experience a kind of death personally. To know these truths, one must go beyond intellectual speculation and engage with direct experience. Rejecting Physical Suicide: Despite discussing the illusion of death, Leo reaffirms that one does not need to engage in physical suicide—using this understanding as a means to deepen appreciation for life and to embody the paradox of being both finite and infinite. Discouragement of physical suicide: Leo stresses that physical suicide out of depression or misery is not necessary and counterproductive, emphasizing that it is done out of a misplaced sense of self, which is ultimately selfish. Advocacy for mental and existential transcendence: He advocates for transcending suffering and depression not physically but mentally or existentially, and for becoming an example to others of spiritual possibilities. Appreciation for physical existence: Leo encourages embracing and appreciating the beauty and wonder of the material world, acknowledging it as an amazing and remarkable manifestation of love in physical form. Impermanence of form: He acknowledges the temporal nature of all formed things, including humans, planets, and stars, noting that while they are mortal, consciousness, truth, and love are immortal absolutes. Oneness and immortality: Leo discusses the concept of oneness, asserting that in a state of total oneness, notions of death are irrelevant, as there is no 'other place' to go. Shift in identity towards the absolute: He suggests a shift in perception from identifying as a human to identifying as the totality or the absolute (God) to realize a form of immortality. Acknowledgment of residual attachments: Despite spiritual awakening, Leo recognizes that individuals may still harbor attachments to life and mortality, and he highlights the difficulty in completely detaching from all aspects of material existence. Joy in dual existence: He advises enjoying life's experiences and dual aspects—physical life and spiritual immortality—without choosing between them, stating the reality allows the enjoyment of both sides. Descendo

Conscious Politics - Part 1 - The Deepest Political Analysis You'll Ever Hear https://youtu.be/klWq18u3GiU "One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors." - Plato Purpose of the 'Conscious Politics' Series: Leo plans a multi-part series on 'conscious politics', aiming to correct widespread ignorance about politics and government, and provide a new holistic approach with practical applications. Personal Political Awakening: Leo shares that, parallel to his personal spiritual awakening, he has undergone a political awakening. This has led to profound insights, which he intends to translate into tangible policy proposals under the banner of 'conscious politics'. Definitions and Requirements for Understanding: Detailed foundational theories and modalities such as non-duality, spiral dynamics, self-deception, and systems thinking are required to grasp the concepts Leo will be discussing about 'conscious politics'. Self-Deception in Politics: Voters and politicians are mutually self-deceived, which complicates the political landscape, extending beyond simplistic finger-pointing at specific leaders or parties. Global Relevance of Discussed Principles: Although Leo utilizes examples from American politics, the principles he discusses are universally applicable to political situations worldwide. Spirituality and Politics Integration: Rejecting the notion that spirituality and politics should be separated, Leo stresses the role of politics in elevating societal and individual consciousness, and advocates for the involvement of conscious individuals in politics. Hazards of Political Apathy: Refusing to engage in politics leads to the proliferation of unconscious politics, characterized by selfishness and destructive behaviors, which Leo refers to as "devilry." Insufficiency of Traditional Spiritual Teachings: Leo criticizes traditional spiritual teachings for lacking modern insights such as ecology and modern psychology, and calls for an integrated approach where philosophy and politics complement each other. Introduction to 'Conscious Politics': Leo presents 'conscious politics' as an innovative approach, integrating deep theoretical foundations with practical policy implications, addressing the complex and deceptive nature of politics. Culture Wars and Politics: The current political climate is marred by culture wars fueled by social justice warriors and their opponents. This leads to a distraction from serious issues and derails meaningful discussions. Transcendence of Partisan Politics: Leo Gura stresses the importance of transcending conventional partisan politics and group think. He asserts that both the political left and right are flawed and encourages aiming for higher consciousness in political thought. Limitations of Political Positions: Leo advises that we should acknowledge the limitations of any political position we hold, understanding that they are partial and may serve as a defense mechanism for our egos. Elevation in Conscious Politics: At the heart of conscious politics is the idea of elevation, which refers to the level of self-awareness and consciousness, surpassing the simplistic binary of left versus right politics. Misperceptions in Media Analysis: Media tends to ignore the conscious-unconscious spectrum in politics, getting caught in the left-right dichotomy and misanalyzing the political scenario. Government Taken for Granted: Leo argues that modern citizens take government for granted due to the success and efficiency of state functions, leading to complacency and the adoption of dismissive ideologies about government's value. Government as a Technology: Leo characterizes government as a technology more significant than the internet or electricity, underscoring its role in creating democracy, free speech, minority rights, and more, which were once radical innovations. Danger of Status Quo Thinking: He cautions against being trapped in the status quo, emphasizing the need for openness to radical new advances within society and government as it grows and evolves. Government's Scale and Complexity: Leo explains that the government is an extraordinary organization that manages to build consensus among hundreds of millions of people with varying ideologies, a feat that should not be underestimated. Misconceptions about the Role of Government: Tackling the notion that government is only a burden, Leo lists the extensive protections and services provided by the government including protection from enslavement, oppression, theft, and ensuring property rights and fair court systems. Government as a Protector and Provider: Leo describes government as an essential provider of services like crime prevention, emergency services, natural disaster relief, healthcare, and infrastructure such as roads and sewage systems. It also supports citizens through poverty relief, public education, and research and development for health. Subsidies and Regulations for Public Welfare: Leo mentions farming subsidies to prevent famines, building codes for safe construction, and food regulations to maintain hygiene and avoid health hazards, illustrating government's role in ensuring public welfare and safety. Enforcement of Minority Rights: The maintenance and enforcement of minority rights are highlighted as a critical role of government, which prevents the oppression of minorities by the majority, and Leo stresses that without government, minority rights would be at risk. Private Sector Limitations: Leo argues against the libertarian notion that the private sector can replace government functions. He emphasizes the private sector's profit motive can undermine fair adjudication and public welfare, potentially leading to exploitative and unchecked corporate power. Vital Functions Beyond Private Capabilities: Leo outlines areas where government is essential, such as protecting citizens from enslavement, providing a just court system, and preventing corporately-owned nuclear proliferation, functions the private sector cannot objectively or fairly manage. Myth of Non-Aggression Principle: Leo challenges the libertarian idea of the non-aggression principle by asserting that enforcing moral norms requires a form of aggression, which is the role of the government to maintain order and protect citizens from exploitation. Critique of Stage Orange Political Views: Leo critiques the Spiral Dynamics stage Orange level of cognitive development, common among libertarians, for its naiveté regarding the nature of freedom, individualism, materialism, and the reality of collective problems in society. Responsibility in Materialist Philosophy: Leo stresses the flaws of a hyper-materialistic society, highlighting the need for more than just economic growth and profit maximization to address societal issues, and challenges the toxic masculinity that often accompanies materialist philosophy. Myopic Selfish Mentality: Leo criticizes the selfish attitude prevalent in society where individuals prioritize personal gain over the well-being of others and the environment, assuming they can insulate themselves from societal issues. Misunderstood Necessity of Bureaucracy: Leo challenges the negative perception of bureaucracy, arguing that high-quality bureaucracy is crucial for a country's development and is a distinguishing feature between first and third-world countries. Role of Government in History: Leo traces the evolution of government, explaining it arose from human advancements in agriculture and settlement, enabling the accumulation of resources which required protection. Brutality of the Animal Kingdom: He describes the animal kingdom as ruled by survival instincts without moral or ethical codes, and how humans, through the establishment of government, have curated a space to protect themselves from this brutality. The Birth of City-states: Leo depicts the rise of ancient city-states as defensive measures against the norm of conquering, looting, enslaving, and raping neighboring tribes, illustrating a move towards organization and protection. Freedom's Complexity and Brutality: Dispelling notions of freedom as unequivocally positive, Leo asserts that true unrestricted freedom in human societies would lead to chaos, emphasizing the government's role in moderating this by implementing rules for fairness and peace. Government's Role in Unification: He credits government with unifying diverse groups with different ethical beliefs and values by establishing common legal standards to maintain order and protect citizens against extreme violence and anarchy. Technology of Government: Leo presents government as the most remarkable human technology for achieving fairness and peace, a counterintuitive notion as it necessitates limiting absolute freedom in exchange for safety and collective advancement. Trade-offs and Benefits of Government: Discussing the balance between individual freedom and governmental control, Leo notes that while some freedoms are surrendered, governments enable the construction of society-improving infrastructure, paradoxically increasing overall freedom. Inevitable Role of Government in Modern Conveniences: Governmental infrastructure plays a crucial role in enabling modern conveniences like global travel, the internet, and space exploration. The liberties we enjoy today, such as instant global communication and international flights, would not be possible without stable governments laying the foundation for such advancements. Interplay of Individualism and Collectivism: Leo Gura talks about the necessity of balancing individual freedoms with the benefits of collectivism. Mankind thrives the most when it forms cohesive collectives on a large scale, unlike smaller animal groups that lack complex organization. Society and Holons: The concept that people are both individuals and parts of a larger whole, or 'holons,' is discussed. Just like the hand is part of the body and serves a purpose within a larger system, individuals must balance their autonomy with their roles within the greater collective of society. Problems with Extreme Individualism: Excessive individualism is criticized, especially within libertarian and Stage Orange thinking, for neglecting the interconnected nature of society. The balance between individual freedom and contributing to the collective is essential for a flourishing community and government. Government's Role in Group Regulation: Leo emphasizes that government is responsible not only for individuals' quality of life but also for regulating the various groups within society, such as religious denominations, corporations, and political factions. Politics as a Reflection of Identity and Survival: Politics is deeply intertwined with identity and survival. The negotiation of power and resources is influenced by the identities and collective egos present within society, with each group seeking to ensure its own survival. Recognition of Humankind’s Evolutionary Political Arc: Human political history shows an arc leading toward greater equality, consciousness, freedom, and unity. Governments play a central role in building a society that facilitates complexity and advanced human activities, like space exploration, which wouldn’t be possible without organized governance. Survival Dependent on Identity: Survival is tied to individual or collective identity, and politics is fundamentally a negotiation of individual and group survival strategies. Practically, politics is about moderating levels of selfishness among competing agendas to avoid extremity and devastation. Recurring Patterns of Division and Unity: Reality at a metaphysical level involves a cycle of dividing and reuniting. Humankind has historically divided into tribes and nations but has also seen periods of unification and cohesion. This natural process suggests cycles of unity following divisions are essential for sustainable progress. Central Role of Identity in Politics: Identity, whether individual or collective, is central to politics. It determines what needs to survive and thus becomes the subject of political negotiation, resulting in politics often being passionate, emotional, and irrational due to people's lack of consciousness about their own identity-driven behaviors. Managing Selfishness through Government: Government and politics serve to regulate the inherent selfishness in human nature by providing a system that moderates the distribution of power and resources, aiming to keep selfish behaviors in check to ensure a stable society. Selfishness and Karma: Selfish actions tend to provoke retaliation, creating a cycle of aggression. When one acts with extreme selfishness, it breeds resentment and potential violence in others, which in turn can lead to acts of revenge. Politics as a Negotiation of Power: Politics involves a negotiation over the distribution of power and resources. Government and politics are consistently concerned with this redistribution, contrary to the notion that it's exclusive to socialist agendas. Selfishness in Redistribution: Many individuals and corporations aim to maximize their own power and resources without concern for fairness or equality. This is evident in practices like lobbying, where entities influence government to benefit themselves at the expense of others. Reduction of Brutality and Oppression: The long-term goal of politics should be to reduce brutality and oppression, creating equitable systems that benefit society as a whole. Government should work to create a fairer distribution of resources and develop infrastructures that elevate societal freedom and complexity. Community and Evolution: Government and politics foster community and participate in the evolution of society by supporting large-scale cooperative events that build social cohesion. They also contribute to emergent higher levels of organizational complexity and consciousness. Consensus Building in Government: With diverse survival agendas, creating consensus in government is challenging. Government tries to satisfy the majority and prioritize decisions that are generally beneficial, which leads to culture wars, policy debates, and conflicts. Relativity of the Best Government: The concept of the 'best' government is misleading because it's relative; what benefits one group's survival might not benefit another's. Recognizing the absence of absolute right or wrong is key to understanding and addressing disagreements. Societal Inclusivity in Government: Unlike other organizations, government must be inclusive, catering to all societal members, even the most problematic ones. Instead of isolating problematic individuals, it's more effective to integrate and manage them with proper systems and infrastructure. Interconnectivity in Addressing Societal Problems: Dealing with the challenges of fringe members of society, like the poor or mentally ill, requires integrated and humane solutions. Helping and satisfying these individuals can prevent harmful behaviors that affect society.[BR] On Isolationist Policies: Government should not engage in isolationist policies such as walling off or confining troublesome elements, as they do not address the root problems and can ultimately lead to larger issues due to global interconnectivity. Complex Nature of Collectives: Governance is uniquely challenging because it must be inclusive and account for all types of people and multiple intersecting collectives, not just a select elite minority. Government and Worldviews: Governing is complicated by the vastly different worldviews and survival agendas of people, each constructing their reality from their mental constructs, making unification a complex task. Pragmatism in Governance: Government is a highly pragmatic endeavor dealing with vital life-and-death issues affecting billions, including famine, poverty, oppression, and violence, which go beyond theoretical politics. On Evolution of Government: Governments evolve through natural selection and trial and error, and unlike biological evolution, human society can consciously participate in shaping government, giving individuals significant responsibility in its design. Thought Experiment on Reincarnation: Suggests that choosing a fair and equal government becomes crucial if one is to reincarnate into various identities throughout the world, highlighting the importance of fairness and avoiding selfish biases. Ultimate Aim of Government: The primary aim of government should be to elevate consciousness and love as it transcends different identities and is a universal human desire, guiding the design of society away from materialism and toward these values. Materialism and Government Design: Points out that if governments are not designed to elevate consciousness and love, they default to fostering low consciousness values like materialism, greed, and division. Spirituality in Government: Proposes that a non-ideological form of spirituality should underpin government and society, avoiding scientism and materialism, and dismissing notions that this would lead to a theocracy. Evolutionary Perspective on Politics and Government: Leo Gura describes how understanding the origin of life and the universe as an infinitely expanding love fractal recontextualizes politics and government. He emphasizes that aligning with the force of evolution could lead to creating a beautiful society and reducing suffering. Conscious Politics vs Traditional Politics: Leo contrasts conscious politics with traditional politics, stating that the latter is about selfishness, not consciousness or love. He advocates for a holistic approach that includes raising consciousness and love universally, transcending human affairs and including all living beings. Integration of Individual and Collective Consciousness: He stresses the interconnectedness of individual and collective consciousness, promoting societal structures that allow people to meet their basic needs and thus pursue higher consciousness, benefiting not just the individuals but society as a whole. Vicious Cycle of Low Consciousness: Leo identifies a cycle where a low consciousness government creates low consciousness citizens who in turn support a low consciousness government. He suggests that establishing a high consciousness government can reverse this cycle, leading to positive societal development. End Self-Dealing in Government: Leo criticizes self-dealing and corruption within government, advocating for the end of these practices. He calls for responsible government that provides value for taxpayers' money and citizens who are politically aware and hold their government accountable. Materialism and the Role of Government: Leo criticizes materialism and highlights the need for government and society to be underpinned by spirituality focused on consciousness and love rather than profit. He warns against businessmen running governments like businesses as it can undermine efficacy and citizen well-being. Eliminating Corruption Instead of Government: Leo disputes libertarian claims that smaller government is better, arguing for good, effective, and responsible government instead. He insists combating corruption and self-dealing should be the focus, as government and taxation are inherent necessities. Accountability and Education in Politics: He urges voters to be educated and engaged in political processes. Active political participation and an informed citizenry are seen as the solutions to government problems, not privatization or undermining the government. Reforming Existing Government Structures: Leo calls for reforming and evolving current government structures rather than creating new ones, akin to the process of human evolution. He concludes by promising more practical insights and principles for conscious politics in the continuation of his talk. Flagrate

At the highest level all you have is beingness and abideness being stuck with yourself forever in an everlasting presence. Being extremely conscious abiding in your own vibration and love that you can't share with anyone but only yourself. The ego is created because the seeking never stops, so you create a play in your own imagination After having had a taste of different dreams and how good it actually is even when you know you lie to yourself you still prefer being stuck in a dream. Guru's that claimed being released from the cycle of reincarnation are all not conscious enough, you will always reincarnate to different dreams. Your unlimited no time presence is not experienced as the life is here, you can't really abide in yourself forever as there is only presence. Your stay at the highest level will be short

David Spangler, Subtle Worlds - An Explorer's Field Notes. Chapter 8: Soul Jürgen Ziewe, Multidimensional Man. A Voyage of Discovery into the Heart of Creation. Chapter The final journey, 25th August 1980 Chris Bache, LSD and the Mind of the Universe: Diamonds from Heaven. Chapter Reincarnation and the Soul and more on request. Soul. Imagined and appearing of course. Like everything else. Therefor, as real or unreal as anything else... Or, in other words, as real or unreal as ones car. Yet, a little more durable, like in... immortal, surviving death. From life to life, dream to dream. And more important. The epic game of forgetting and finding, played by Infinite Consciousness/Being/Reality... Souls... very much worth taking care of on this relative level of ours. Especially when venturing to far out realms, where no man has gone before.... hic sunt dracones. Selling Soul-Eddies in the Water by the River PS: And like Inliytened1 wrote above: A concept. From the perspective of Absolute Truth. Like every other manifestatation, as real or unreal as anything else. As long as this concept is not seen through, no realization of Absolute Reality. Yet, the (relative) concept 2+2=4 holds more (relative) truth than 2+2=5. Same with the concept soul: relative, appearing truth, not Absolute Truth. But since Absolute Truth contains Relative Truth, and as we all know, relative (un-) Truth can make a lot of trouble.... "Although my view is higher than the sky (Absolute Truth), my respect for the cause and effect of actions is as fine as grains of flour (relative truth)".

Oh shit ..I wish that death is like eternal sleep . No reincarnation no resurrection no nothing. Just endless Zzzz 😴

"Enlightenment is a simple realization..." *spends the rest of the video talking about reincarnation, Sadghuru, Buddhism, and then never addresses what enlightenment is* Ok, just scrolled through his channel, and literally all his videos are either Sadghuru, Buddhism, or reincarnation. So yeah summed it up pretty well there lmao.

The Insights are not new, they will naturally come to someone when their Awareness is raised and more intense as time goes on, how we express it may differ but in the end we are all saying the samethings in a general sense, little details maybe not the same but mostly insights are similar to others in the past... Life Insights: 1) Pain is real, Suffering is a choice, it happens mostly mentally, we over think, become too Intellectual and everything starts to offend You because of highly addicted population to ideologies, concepts and teachings that are outside of themselves, learned from data input via the 5 senes... 2) Successful ppl suffering just as much as Poor or Deprived ppl, maybe more, because once You have all the Money, Power, Fame, Admiration, Success, etc, and You still feel empty, then what else is there too do but get addicted to drugs/booze, gambling, sex, or some sort of death wish that requires you to do dangerous things to feel alive (think Tom Cruise)... 3) Technology or anything that we have invented for ourselves is mostly there as a convenience, not as a source or reason for Life to go on..nothing really new has been invented just things that are extensions of what we already have available to us naturally... 4) Reincarnation is True, many examples of kids knowing areas of geography, or have skills within them that would be impossible to learn at their age, Karma or result of residual actions travel from embodied life to emboded life, until one has reached a level of Awareness to move on to another plane..

Self love. Loving everything for what it is and what you are. This is what all life is returning to. Cultivate a spiritual practice that you do daily. Whatever that is, if you need examples: ex Third Eye Work, Meditation, Astral Travel, Past life regression, A form of Yoga, Taoism with Mantak Chia, Spiritual Ninja practicing ninjitsu etc. Whatever it is, its the ritual and selfess dedication to it that's important. Listen to some of the people Leo gives as examples in this thread: Quote: Shunyamurti, Thomas Campbell, Yoda, David Hawkins, Ken Wilber, Shinzen Young, Deepak Chopra, Stan Grof, Osho, Mooji, Ramaji, Rupert Spira, Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth, Yogananda, Martin Ball, Terence McKenna, Carl Jung, Sri Aurobindo, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, Ervin Laszlo, David Loy, Alan Watts, Wim Hof, Matt Kahn, Dalai Lama, Sasha Shulgin, yoga, holotropic breathwork, The Holographic Universe, Akashic Records, noosphere, opening the 3rd eye, pineal gland, out of body experiences, samadhi experiences, siddhis, paranormal abilities, clairvoyants, channels, mediums, Bashar, Aleister Crowley, Rudolf Steiner, alternative healing systems, Maya, psychedelics, 5-MeO-DMT, StarTrek: The Q, Rupert Sheldrake’s morphogenetic fields, Dean Radin’s paranormal research, Gandhi’s ideas of pluralistic harmony, Gaia, biocentrism, Monroe Institute, Esalen Institute, transpersonal psychology, Jung’s collective unconscious, quantum field theory, sacred geometry, reincarnation, opening chakras, saints, sages, mystics, prophets, etc. Listening is enough, spending time with them is better. For me it was Sevan Bomar, Almine, Teal Swan, Mooji, Sadhguru, Daniel Winter, Marko Rodin, Carl sagen, Carl jung, Alan watts, Leo Gura, Don Miguel Ruiz etc. I've had the benefit and privilege of listening to some of the finest minds on this planet, have you? No, then go do so! *Sorry this double posted before I was ready, nice case of duality

There's a reason why in Gnostic thought and circles that the Demiurge is considered to be an evil entity or at least and misguided, foolish figure. Imagine, if you will, you were given the chance to create or manipulate physical reality from scratch and you can fulfill your wildest dreams and desires but spiritually speaking you were still a young and naïve child in your development. If you had no consideration for anyone else, any other lifeform or for the pre-existing rules in this reality of yours, it would end very, very badly for you and everyone else. You wouldn't know the can of worms you could be opening. A lot of the early Christians and Gnostics believed this and considering what time period they came from, it makes sense. On a side note, there's also a reason why Jains believe that when once you escape the cycle of death and reincarnation, you enter a realm where the most enlightened beings just sit, chill and watch Creation from afar, without ever needing to manipulate or touch up reality to their wishes. Think about it this this way, we're limited with our bodies and we can only manipulate reality with our 8 fingers and 2 thumbs. But with those fingers and thumbs, we've (humanity as a whole), has created some truly amazing and exceptional things. This simple comic could have only been drawn by a human being, but like what Leo said about transhumanism: Man becomes God. A cat has got your Pipe: (a relevant video in line with this thread I promise you)

@Circassia To Rostov We have a natural fear of pain, especially this sort of pain that is intentionally inflected upon someone by another. Why does it happen? Because the Torturer is not feeling any sort of connection to the one being tortured, simple as that, most of the ppl of the world live like this but are not at that sort of extreme level of disconnect. Belief can be dangerous, but we are on a internet forum where all we have is logic, intellect to communicate with, so I do believe in reincarnation, there's lots of evidence of it, but Enlightenment is the end of the cycle of birth/death on a physical level for sure. There may be other realms above this, that is all debateable, we are here now in this realm and have to make the best of it. Don't live via belief or past/future memory/imagination POV, just be in the Now, you can learn and become wise from the past and plan for the future, but if You are in fear that means You living in the future, which does not yet exist, so that in itself is a form of insanity. just find some method or practices, stay with it, get to a point of Peace within Yourself, don't bother with notions of Enlightenment, Reincarnation and such things, just be at Peace with what is, then go on from there naturally...

With the issue of reincarnation we imagine a similar experience, with subject, object and development, but who knows how things can be. everything is absolutely enigmatic, the depth of reality is unfathomable.

@Circassia To Rostov All is one. You are god and you are everybody else. It is the monad, brahman, and Dao. Separation is an illusion. The duality reduces to the monad. You may get reincarnated and go back in time and be your current sibling, friend, coworker, parent, etc. So they are you at this very moment. This applies to all of history. Another thought is maybe in some other dimension we actually volunteer for experiences like torture. It may be the most sought after reincarnation. Another thought is dualism and the two black and white fishes going around in the yin yang symbol. So after infinite reincarnations, 50% of them are bad and 50% of them good. It all averages out. The torture will be balanced by euphoria and bliss. Stop thinking and live. Just be. You are mentally masturbating yourself and avoiding the real work. All is distraction. The Hindu Maya. Follow the Hindu Lila. Good luck!

If it is assumed that the side of the spectrum you mention is possible concerning reincarnation/other dreams (the bad ones), why not contemplate the other side of the spectrum (the good ones)? Jürgen Ziewe, Multidimensional Man Jürgen Ziewe, Vistas of Infinity Jürgen Ziewe, Elysium Unveiled (breathtakingly beautiful) Robert Monroes books David Spandler, Subtle Worlds. An Explorer’s Field Note William Buhlman, all books Grof, Books of the Dead Manuals for Living and Dying Grof,Beyond Death.The Gates of Consciousness More on request Seriously, don't destroy your life with this horror-line of thinking and going down that rabbit-hole. Consider especially taking a look at Jürgen Ziewes Elysium Unveiled. There are a few horror-scenarios inside (as with the other books also), but the rest is of breathtaking beauty. If the possibility of other dreams in Infinite Consciousness/reincarnation is maintained, why not let the beautiful geenie (video above) also out of the bottle? Of course, none of that has to be believed for realizing what Reality really is. The nature of Reality/Infinite Consciousness is always right here right now, covered by clouds of illusory separation/ignorance. And what You really are can never be harmed (no moving parts). Selling Water by the River

I am an agnostic type who believes in some sort of scientific reincarnation. If your consciousness arises from seemingly nothing, it would be preposterous to claim you couldn't be reborn again after death. I do not believe there is anything intrinsically special about human consciousness. I think we are just more advanced versions of other animals. Anyways, something has been troubling me as of late. I believe that due to me being reborn an infinite amount of times, one day I will experience extreme torture. I keep watching those infographics videos about being boiled alive or the brazen bull torture method, and I can't wrap my head around why a loving deity would allow this to happen. What is the purpose of putting people through torture. I keep researching the topic and reassuring myself that the pain wouldn't last long. I don't fear death or any other emotional pain. The only thing I fear insanely is extreme physical pain. Furthermore, I understand why pain is necessary in life. If you don't have pain, you can't feel pleasure. Regardless, the fact that a human can be boiled alive is extremely disturbing. Why can this exist in the grand scheme of things? What do you guys think?

Two more Ideas! What if I'm imagining psychedelics as an excuse to allow myself to disrupt reality without having to realize it's an illusion! I've had this fear since I was a kid. That it's all deterministic and I shouldn't learn about movie making, game programming, art etc. because that would shatter the illusion and I wouldn't be able to look at these things the same way again. If I realized myself as completely conscious consciousness, there'd be nothing to hide from myself, there'd be no other, no one to talk to, no thing to talk about. Nothing to explore, nothing to imagine since I'd already know it. I can look at the stars and find them beautiful, I can create a fractal dimension and go explore it. But if I'm 100% conscious and there is no subconsciousness, then I'd know it during creating it. But I want to explore reality forever, watch new things unfold and have adventures. Breathe in the air and sunbathe on a meadow as a separate form. Or can I do all of that regardless? I don't know the mechanics I use to make myself unconscious, it's very tricky and that's on purpose! Maybe I was suffering for eternity figuring out what dream to dream and how to make myself unconscious to the fact its a dream. I don't know what is the right thing to do anymore. Maybe that's what all the NDEs are about, reincarnation too, to fulfill the desires god could not in one lifetime? And to get a self-imagined astral afterlife? Or maybe that's the default in god form, doing everything one wants to do but knowing its all deterministic? Or does god not mind that? I am here, maybe that's why?

At least I realize what reality is in some specific moments, moments of openness, but in the normal state I am aware of the suffering that human life includes. In fact, suffering is an essential part of being human, and its level can be very high. There is a very common human suffering in human reality that none of us here have experienced, which is real violence. That them enslave your daughters and torture you and then crucify you, those human things that none of us want. As you have said, they are emergences that occur in dual reality, but it is difficult to understand the level and degree of what this moment can be, and the purpose of those emergences. Well, the purpose seems to be evolution, reincarnation, etc, but who knows if it's the case. I would say that yes, every experience of real suffering makes the human deeper. Seems that everything tends to that, deeper conciousness , but who knows

The Mystic Gurdjieff had a rather sobering view in regard to one having a soul. This aphorism condenses. His view. Blessed is he who has a soul, blessed is he who has none, but woe and grief to him who has it in embryo. He claimed that humans on Earth are here to develop and complete their soul. That for the most part we are born with only a starter kit of a soul. One of the main tasks in this view is to purify the emotional center. This requires not being reactive towards whoever or whatever pushes our buttons. We are responsible for our negativity regardless of what happens. The task is to fully feel whatever we experience but not bitch, complain, or verbally attack another human or animal. I continually fail at this task..... In regard to this idea, Arnold Keyserling said an interesting thing one time. If a person could go for two years (the orbit of Mars) without reacting in anger. They would never feel a negative emotion towards anyone for the rest of their life. This condition might correlate with the state of consciousness called Christ Consciousness or nondual consciousness as described by Jim Marion, Ken Wilber and others. Gurdjieff's work is sometimes referred to as the Fourth Way or Esoteric Christianity. I heard a Teacher of the Fourth Way once say that it is for losers. One must be a complete loser and totally disillusioned with life to be ready to enter The Fourth Way... Seeing and experiencing the uselessness of materialism and other worldviews, There are different lineages which vary in their view of the Teaching. Gurdjieff taught reincarnation in a way and said if a soul doesn't reach purification and completion within the time frame of the life of a Solar system. The partial soul will disintegrate. This is all rather depressing, isn't it,,,,,?

When you are ignorant of your nature as God it's not like you seize to be God. However, God is still deluding itself in the form of you as a human ego. Due to this, it would reform itself after physical death. God could reform itself as anything, depends on a lot of factors. Reincarnation is true and so is heaven and hell. Your 'soul' is simply this all pervading conciousness. Your soul is paradoxically entirely impersonal.

Ah, formlessness. In that case, sure. Reincarnation would be the case where you don't return to the original dream you exited. Nevertheless, "enlightenment" is often conceptualized as when you retain the realization of the formless while still being immersed in the "formful" (relative reality), i.e. being lucid in the dream. Awakening to formlessness is a taste of this realization; pure lucidity, but without the contents of the dream. The former (enlightenment) is of course much "harder" than the latter (awakening).

Reincarnation.

You can not stay in God mode no longer than three to four hours. And there is no way you could ever function in everyday life. When I came back down from some of my biggest trips. Perhaps for 6 to 9 months, I had very few attachments and biases left. But there is no way you could live in this dream without any. Even if you went into a cave for a year or however long. You still would have attachments to this dream and I personally or most probably after some time of contemplation and deliberating would go what the fck am I doing what was I thinking? And yes there are states of consciousness or God mode or to say God realizing God again where you have no biases and no attachments. You become infinitely self-aware you become pure infinite love existence itself. This is not a perception as you may think it is. You don't perceive anything you become it. Infinite love is not a perception or an experience idea or a supposition whatever you might think it is. You are the experience the perception. Don't you know you are the truth? But you must also understand that you can not live in this dream with no attachments or beliefs etc. Of course, you can get rid of certain things and self-limiting beliefs and become less biased and more selfless up to a point. I don't watch the news anymore or I have not watched TV for 15 years and I stopped using mobiles about 3 years ago, not because I deemed them to cause cancer or whatever the beliefs are these days. But that's me it does not mean you have to do any of these things. Everyone wants to awaken I am trying to go back into the dream. And it may take months even years to ground yourself again but with that said you can never fully come back to the dream. If you have very, very strong core values beliefs, and ethics on what you believe to be right from wrong which most of us do or have built up over the years. If you are not careful it could actually send you to the point of insanity for a time if it has not already occurred from just waking up on a fairly high dose of whatever your preferred imaginary psychedelic of choice is. In the end, the choice is yours, yours alone. “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” JIMI HENDRIX When we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work, and when we no longer know which way to go we have come to our real journey. Wendell Berry. All Psychedelics and meditations are part of the dream all are imaginary. Reincarnation is also imaginary and is part of the dream. How can you be reincarnated if you were never alive, or born to begin with? You keep creating ideas and beliefs to explain more concepts within concepts. Kind of obvious is it not? To describe or explain what you are in words is in a way it is an insult. How can one articulate the indescribable? You can not be translated into words. How do you actualize the infinite into words? It's not even what one thinks it is. Though it does add humor to the dream. No, you don't need to suffer to awaken. And no it is not all about how you have to suffer all your life. This is just a belief that you have unwisely accepted just like all the self-limiting ideas you have picked up along the journey.

Since we are on a self-improvement forum, it would be great if the people here who consistently support Israel tried to see the situation from the Hamas/Palestinian perspective, and vice versa. Remember guys, your alliegience to your team is "only" due to your culture, upbringing, life experiences, etc... This is what forms your perspective, but consider that You would have a vastly different view if your circumstances were different. You are not this accumulated web of beliefs and biases. You are God. Imagine this: currently You are biased against Israel/Palestine, but next life You incarnate on the other team and shit on the beliefs You hold right now. Do You see how stupid this is? Rise above it. (The reincarnation talk & assumption of shared reality which one is always born into is purely for the thought experiment.) Try to see all of this more holistically. For your own sake. When You argue reinforcing your own biases, You are going deeper and deeper into this web of beliefs of yours, further deceiving yourself and disconnecting from the truth. Make sure You don't deceive yourselves so much You are lost. It'd be a shame.

Alright… so I got a response from the Krishna temple saying they have a million things to do, and if I’d want to come and help they’ll be grateful for it. Not in these words but the implication. So I did end up getting out of the condo and went to volunteer my time. When I walked in there were two volunteers there and I asked if the wife was there, and they said she was resting. Which I understand because she had a fall a week ago and is trying to rest. So I said alright she told me there are a million things to do and I came to work. What can I help with? They looked at each other as if they were surprised to hear that. One said well she doesn’t know of anything, but she’ll call the wife and see what she says. After she got off the phone she said well you can cut the squash. I started to chuckle and said well I like to cook so that would not be a problem. So the other volunteer showed me into the kitchen and started to get me ready to help cut the squash. I spoke to him a bit more because we were in the same space and so we got a little acquainted. It wasn’t long before I said I am a shaman in training (which gets misinterpreted, but any way) and I work with Ayahuasca. He actually said that he was interested in exploring that avenue as well. We had a few comments where he noticed I had been doing some spiritual work… and I mentioned things that maybe he hasn’t had direct experience with by the words he said. Darn it… I didn’t get permission but I’m not going to say anything to point a finger at him… so anyway he was telling me his interpretation of what they believe and he was focusing on us as humans are souls. We reincarnate over and over again until we become better to where we don’t have to return here to the physical world. At least that was what the interpretation of what I heard him say. He asked if this is something similar to what I’ve received. And I said there are some similarities. I’ll take the stance of my working knowledge of infinite existence. Which I can see how reincarnation can relate to this but my understanding of the physical world may differ since our perception of physicality isn’t so black and white to what most assume. We continued chatting and he happened to mention how we have to bare the physical world and hope to one day make it better. I said or… we are already living perfection but we have to gain more awareness to realize this. He gave a curious look but he shortly left after this. And I knew we enjoyed our time together. He came back for a second to the kitchen to grab something and said. Ok well you didn’t get rid of me quite yet… I said… I never wanted to get rid of you… you are leaving. I was implying that we were having a good conversation and we continue to get to know each other, but he has planned it out to when he was going to leave instead of open and flexible to stay a little longer. But of course it was not our time to continue. So I finished cutting up the butternut squash. I ended up getting a little bit of an allergic reaction? Maybe not really but it had an orange film on my hand and it was drying my hands out and I tried to get it off and use lotion but it wasn’t helping. Later that night I took a bath and got most of it off but it wasn’t until I woke up this morning that it was officially gone. But I hadn’t had that happen to me before and I found out that happens to people from time to time… to next time just use gloves and there’s nothing wrong with the squash itself… hehe… I just hadn’t had that reaction before. But anywho. I took my tools to the sink and went ahead and cleaned all the dishes that were already in the sink. I went back out and spoke to the first volunteer. She was sitting at a table with a lot of flowers. I asked her if there is anything I can help her with? And she said no. I asked her what she’s making. She said she’s making a garland. I asked if they were for Sunday? and she said no just to make them… I restated that I received a message from the wife saying there are a million things to do. It takes me close to an hour to get here by bus and walking… I was hoping to stay here for hours to work to make it worth my time. She said, well the wife will be here but she’s coming in an hour. I thanked her and I started to think well… I’ll text the wife. I was joking with her that there’s only nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-eight things for me to do… but she seems to be the only one who knows what those are. I said I’m going to wait around until she returns to the temple in an hour. So I went outside to say hello to the llamas and the peacocks. We had our first snow so I was walking around checking out the beauty from the snow on the mountains and all the shrubs and trees… and it was fluffy and packable. Perfect for snowball fights. I happened to notice a gentleman working in the garden by himself… so I went ahead and made my way to him and asked if he could use an extra hand. He asked if I was a devotee and I said I am not but I’m hoping to help out. He said… so you’re looking for something to do right now? And I said yes, do you have anything for me and he said… well yeah I think I can have you start clearing out the string that are tied to the posts in the garden which was helping support the height of the plants. He plans on tilling and we need to get the garden cleared. He asked if I had a knife, I didn’t but I said I can have one next time. He grabbed one and I started to go to work. He is not a devotee either. The husband actually hired him and he does get paid but he usually only works about 20 hours a week. He’s really sweet but I can tell he’s not too comfortable socially but I’m usually pretty good in these situations because I don’t have to be social. Being quiet especially working in a garden is very enjoyable. He has Native American heritage and he has a big family who have pretty much all left the reservations because there’s not much there for them to live really. I chuckled to myself because he tries to steer clear of the wife… he definitely likes engaging with the husband on matters. He believes the wife likes control and likes to get mad at everyone. He usually gets yelled at once or twice a week by her… so he likes to have less interaction with her as possible. So I finished helping him and he was able to pick up the posts behind me and we put everything into the truck and took it back to the temple. I asked if he wanted to exchange numbers so when he hasn’t something I can help with he can let me know. He didn’t want to do that. He said are you coming tomorrow. I said if they have something for me to do, then yes I’ll be back. but if not I’ll just stay home and relax. He said well you coming on Sunday? I said that’s the only day I cannot come because the buses don’t run. and he said oh… and I said… well I’ll be back and we’ll go from there. So I headed back into the temple. I noticed I got a message from the wife because I wasn’t there when she first arrived and thought I left. I texted her that I was helping the husband’s worker and I’m heading inside to chat. And when I entered we actually got time to chat one on one. Well first I had to get the television working and I was chuckling because I said I don’t watch tv much so maybe I can help… I think I can, but it’s not a guarantee… hehe… but we got it working and she was happy. And then we started talking. She wanted to know why I’m there and wanting to volunteer. There’s a lot into our conversation, but I was telling her I’m spiritual and I’m a shaman who work with indigenous in the Amazon. There aren’t many locations for me to look for fellow shamans. Unlike this Krishna organization where they can travel around the world and visit their temples they know where to find their community. I figured since raising consciousness is their mission, I figured I’d find fellow spiritualist who I can commune with. As we are talking I noticed that I can see why people might seem she’s cold just because she doesn’t have the smiley and laughing personality. She’s got the all business personality going on. But it’s not really cold… I can see she has high expectations and expects we also share in her high expectations. She’s very observant and there are times she chuckles but it’s not something she does unless she’s really enjoying the conversation. But yes… I like her. So I understand why she is hesitant of having a non devotee coming into the temple asking to volunteer… I”m not quite sure she’s hearing me say shaman, but I know I’ve said it… and I know I’ll continue to say it until it sinks in. But she wanted to hear about me. And so I was telling her things I used to do and what I do now.. and just a bit of why I found myself here in Utah. I told her I’m not a traditional spiritualist, but she heard that I’m not structured… which makes me chuckle, but I definitely understand why she assumes that since I’m living a life with more freedom than what she’s accustomed to. So she said she’d like me to come to a Sunday service. She knows about my public transportation so she said that she can offer a place for me to stay for Saturday and join them on Sunday and then stay Sunday night to leave on the bus on Monday. But she gets really weird people coming in there and so she wants to run a criminal background check on me. And she wants me to get character referrals before she lets me stay the night on property. I said I think that’s smart and that it wouldn’t be a problem. During our conversation she made a point that she does not tolerate lies. If it’s found that I have told a lie then she will ask me to leave. I respected that, BUT… it was funny becasue when I woke up this morning I thought… well she told a lie… or a fib… I know she was speaking quickly through the part of them being a non-profit organization and so no one gets paid. First of all I already met a gentleman who does get paid… but honestly I don’t know if she knows the husband pays him. But I also thought when I was looking into creating a non-profit that staff members absolutely can get paid… especially the president and vice president who the husband and wife are. Now they might not get a salary… I’m not sure, but I feel that’s their choice and their choice not to pay for stay and only have volunteers. But I decided not to bring this up… at least not yet… hehe… but what does she consider a lie. But truthfully after today doing some more volunteer work… I got to like her even more. She has been working very hard to run this temple and I’m sure its tasking working with volunteers who are not there for consistent amounts of time and not necessarily wanting to work. She’s probably found that if something has to be done, she’ll have to do it herself. But she now has injuries. I got the story of why she fell. They have llamas on the property that I’ve already mentioned. They usually keep the males and females separated so they manage their breeding. Because it gets so cold and snowy in the winter here… they prefer not to have any babies born right before or during the winter for safety and the wellness of the llamas. Well I guess sometime last year a volunteer didn’t close the gates behind themselves and the males ended up in the female quarters and they now have two baby llamas. She saw all the females gathering together huddling around each other and so she knew something was up and that’s what they do when there’s a birth. So she went over to see and saw there were two newborns. They were on top of the hill and it was raining.. so she picked up one of the babies to carry it to shelter and she ended up tripping and falling. The baby actually helped prevent her from even more severe injuries but it just got right up and ran away. She however couldn’t. She had broken ribs and couldn’t breathe. Thankfully there was someone with her and they helped her back but for a week now it’s hard for her to breathe but she wants to breathe deeply so she doesn’t get pneumonia. Her energy is low because it’s focusing on healing her.. but it hurts to cough and laugh. She was using her arms and hands more often since she couldn’t really use her core and she ended up fracturing her wrist which was injured but increase with the excessive use. So she’s not in the best of shape right now. I was joking with her that maybe it’s a sign she can use some rest. She said no one will let her. And I was hoping to show her… that if she wants something done, I’ll do it. And hopefully she’ll see I can be very efficient with it as well. She really enjoyed my background with what I studied in college. I was telling her interior design and art with a bit of architecture. She actually designed the temple and she does amazing portrait paintings for the temple herself. So there was a little bit of something in common that was obvious to her. Anyway… she told me that there are projects for me to do if I want to return tomorrow. But to get there early… people will start arriving between 9 and 9:30. I said I can be here around that time it will just depend on the bus schedule. So I went home and relaxed in the tub with a soak. I didn’t feel like I wanted to do any ceremony. I did message a little with my Thailand friend… I said maybe it’s time to actually chat? So I woke up and as I was heading out of the apartment… my neighbor and I opened our doors at the same time to leave. He didn’t really want to look me in the eyes and I just said in a joyful voice… well hello there. He said hello and walked quickly on. I was heading to the bus stop and while I was walking I saw he drove by. Later he messaged me to see if I needed a ride back from Walmart? I said I actually went to volunteer at the temple again and I didn’t know how long I was going to be there, but thanks anyway. So I noticed I wasn’t afraid of him. I also noticed that I’m not really disgusted with him. That’s just the level of consciousness he’s at. Now do I feel this is high conscious action? No… I feel there are far more healthier ways for him to be handling his and his families fetishes.. but I cannot demonize him. He doesn’t know any better or he’d be doing it. I’m still trying to get paid as well… so hopefully he’ll see that I’m not judging them and I’m not scared of them.. and I’ll still treat them with respect and kindness. So hopefully there’s somewhere in his heart he can realize that I do deserve to get paid for the hours I’ve worked for him. So I’m still hopeful. But I have already asked about two different positions. One will be a cook and server at IHOP. And then another one came up while I was volunteering. There was a group there were they live in a group home and there’s a therapeutic company who helps them and they’re hiring. She said they have locations everywhere even in Payson. I looked it up and they’re not hiring in Payson, but its an option. But I’ll see how it plays out actually. Today went really well with the volunteering so I kind of want to see how tomorrow goes. Let’s get back to the morning of volunteer work. Oh I did want to mention how extremely nice these Utah bus drivers are. I’ve had two of them drop me off right at the road of the temple so I don’t have to walk along the highway. And this morning I was trying to use the transit app and it wasn’t taking my payment and I noticed I didn’t bring my wallet so I was like crap. I don’t have time to walk back and make it on time to the temple. On Saturdays they run every hour not half hour. So I went ahead and showed the bus driver my issue and said I’m trying to go and volunteer at the temple and she said that it’s fine for me to ride. She even gave me a transfer until 5:15pm. I was very thankful and she dropped me closer to the temple too. But anyway I’ve really enjoyed my experience with the public transportation here. Ok.. now let’s go back to the morning… So I got there around 9:15am. The WOOFER who arrived the night before was there. She’s from DC and has Filipino decent but grew up in Guam. She’s been in the US for six years now… Four for college and two working for nonprofits. She finished with a political major. We ate lunch together and I got some of these details. I can see she’s a sweetheart and definitely doesn’t know how to handle the wife… hehe… but she was left with me most of the time she was working so she’s in safe hands. And the wife will get what she wants done to be done… so everyone wins. The wife took us outside and was telling us what she wanted done. I went ahead and grabbed my phone to write things down. But I ended up remembering everything. We had to change out the water for the babies and the parents. they are separated from the groups and so they don’t have heated water. There area also needed a bit of mucking out. We went to the garden and we had to wrap up the irrigation hoses that were flushed out last weekend. We needed to make sure there wasn’t any trash, metal, or large rocks in the garden so it’s safe to till the land. There were piles of sunflowers which were pulled. And we were to take it to the side of the property that neighbors a junkyard with ugly fences and she’s hoping to lay the sunflowers along the fence so the seeds can grow and hopefully disguise the fence. She was looking at our clothing and was questionable if we had proper attire. The WOOFER is living on property so I went with her to the place so she can grab warmer clothes and shoes and gloves. I thought I would be fine, and I was. Once I got moving I was going to get warm anyway. But the house was pretty cool. All the exotic birds are inside for the winter and many of them are just roaming around the home. A cat I met the first day was in there and he so super chill… so I loved on him again. I’m not used to birds still and looks like they could be a bit messy to keep around. But they are really cool, and I ran into the grey African parrot again. I was told by one of the volunteers that maybe his name is Ram… hehe. But anyway the WOOFER asked what should be do first? Well I said I was thinking after we muck we’re supposed to put it in the garden to fertilize… so let’s clearing out the garden first and then finish with the llamas and maybe we can spend some extra time loving on them if we keep it for the end. She said that would be fine. I didn’t know at that time that she had agreed to only work for four hours… so she was wanting to work until one o’clock. So we started in the garden. Oh so… even though we were told what to do… we didn’t really get told exactly how to do it and where the tools exactly are… we were told the buildings and hopefully volunteers have returned them. But we both are new to everything the location and the chores given to us… hehe but we figured it all out. We spoke a bit while we were working in the garden. I was asking her about WOOFER and what she’s done with it. This is the first time for her to try it. Normally WOOFERs don’t come for the winter but she spoke to the husband of possibly trying to grow lettuce and possibly cabbage or spinach in the green house. The wife said if she wants to she can give it a try, but she’s not going to have anyone next to her telling her how to do it. She’ll have to figure it out. I told her about the husband’s worker who is familiar with the green house so maybe he’ll help set her up? I did ask him about it and by the end of the conversation he said that maybe he will talk to her… hehe. But again… she asked about me and I told her my spiritual path and she tooo has heard about Ayahuasca. I asked how did she hear about it… it’s not that common even though it’s starting to gain some popularity in some circles. She knows a friend of a friend who has done it. And she also has another friend who studies psychedelic studies. Her friend hasn’t ever tried psychedelics which she finds unusual for her to be interested in studying therapeutic purposes for psychedelics. I kind of explained that there’s a term of entheogen I like to use to help promote the intention of using psychedelics for spiritual purposes. We didn’t get into too much detail but she did say that it’s cool to hear my spiritual journey so far. I mentioned that I’m not sure if my way of traveling down the spiritual path will mesh well with this traditional style of this community. But I also said… I’m in observation mode to see if this is a location I’d like to continue to spend time with yet. We worked well with each other. And I wasn’t completely aware of how the agreement of working were and the wife was a little annoyed that we took lunch during her four hours and so she didn’t actually put in four hours she was suppose to. I understood after the fact and I understood her concern. Of course this doesn’t involve me directly as of now. I’m just here volunteering and see if I can see myself continue helping here. During lunch the wife said there is going to be a group coming in for about an hour. She’d like for us to join them. I said that’s fine I’ll meet them there. The WOOFER and I at the time didn’t think she was talking to her because we had it that she was leaving at one and that the group is coming after that. So I went outside to continue to finish the projects before the group came. I didn’t have a lot of time but I thought I could at least get a large pile of sunflowers loaded into the truck. The wife said that she wants me to supervise the group. I can stop working on the current project and just have this group finish with you. I said ok that sounds good. We were waiting for the group and they were running late which i guess is very common… hehe. But they did arrive and the wife said she was going to greet them and then hand them over to me. It actually went really well working together. She was joking around with the group and I was able to compliment her actions and mannerisms. I noticed the husband was watching us working together from the desk. I notice the wife looking at him… so I know they are seeing how well we’re meshing together. I can be very observant as well… I enjoy being around awareness and they do too. As the group and I were heading out the wife said that I should show them the babies… and so I did and told them the story of how the wife got injured. I split them into groups. A few came with me and the truck to lay the sunflowers along the fence… while the others pulled the rest of the sunflowers out. Everyone in the group was very helpful and efficient. It didn’t take us long to finish the job, and so we went back to the temple so they can get a quick tour. Another volunteer that I briefly met the day before gave them the tour. He wanted to give me a tour earlier when I was eating lunch but I told him I’d rather get my work done before the tour. I had already toured myself and I’ve been listening to him… and he’s a good guy but many of his knowledge is theoretical and not be actualized through direct experience. So I know he was going to tell me all he knows when I know that he doesn’t know as much as he thinks he knows… hehe… so I really wasn’t interested but since I was with the group and we did finish everything up.. so I went ahead and joined them. After the group left I knew I was going to have to find something else to do… I forgot to put everything away… I remembered before I left… but the husband’s worker came in to let me know that I left my purse in the truck. I knew I did, but because I didn’t put things up I thought I’d be returning after the group left, but he came in shortly after. I went ahead and asked him again if he could use a hand. He said he could but was worried I wouldn’t make the bus on time. He said it would at least take an hour… I had two hours and we should be fine. If he’d like some help… I’ve got the time. So he said ok come on then. He was heading to the dump. He goes about every ten days… mostly trash from the buffet. I hadn’t been in that area before and having two people take the trash out… it went quickly. It was set up similarly to how the little Colorado town had it. They seemed to have areas where recycling was separated which wasn’t present in the Colorado station we went to. But we had to fill up a portable gas container for machines on the property. We went to the area where I had went the first time to look at the Bolivian girl’s car which is broken down in the garage. well.. I guess all the houses there are part of the property and they rent them out. Many are vacant or has open rooms available. There was one were a young lady is leaving and had extra stuff she didn’t need anymore so we placed it in the horse trailer we were using. He went ahead and took me inside so I can see how they look. It’s vintage for sure, but spacious. It would actually be cool to have my own place with Elvis… even if we have to share space… even though the birds are cool and also the cat… I’d much rather have our own space. But I didn’t know they had so many options. It gets my mind going… hehe… we returned to the temple and I asked him about the project of removing the sludge from the koi pond. He was surprised I knew about it but I said I was there when they brought it up. So I didn’t know if they decided which day they were going to do it. He said he didn’t know. If he said a day then most likely it’ll change so he’d be telling me something wrong. I asked again if he wanted to exchange numbers and he can just message me and I’ll make my way to help. He said that I can come and help. the more the easier… but he said I’ll be around and I’ll find out when it’s going to happen… i told him I don’t know if I’m going to be returning this week. I’m still trying to figure out my work situation. I said things will work out… I’ll see him again soon. I had about 45 minutes left before I needed to be at the bus stop. I spoke to the tour volunteer for a little bit as I waited. i then remembered I forgot to clean up after myself… so I went outside to do so and the wife was walking into the temple. She knew I’d be leaving shortly for the bus. She said… can you write down your address… she’s going to have one of the volunteers come and get me tomorrow so I can participate in Sunday service. I said that would be wonderful. So I wrote it down and left. She happened to mention that she’ll send a volunteer to go check out Walmart… i told her that I live close to the Walmart in the town I’m staying at. She said well maybe you can just go there for me. I said that wouldn’t be a problem. She said to call her when I get there. She was looking for warmer sweaters to put on the baby llamas. Kids sweaters can be altered to fit them. So I said I can do that as I was walking out the door to get to the bus stop. Well… by the time I got to the stop I checked the app again and it was telling me I had to wait another hour…. So I missed it. So I turned around and stuck my finger out. And it didn’t work yesterday, but today… it did. It didn’t take long for a truck with a father, son, and son’s friend pulled over to give me a ride. I asked if I could be dropped off at the Walmart and he said he’ll take me wherever I need to go. He’s done some hitchhiking himself so he has a soft spot for people who still do it. Well I thanked him and had really good conversation with him. Oh he also had his little Yorkie, Cloey in the car too… sooooo sweet and let me pet her belly most of the ride. He dropped off the friend and started to talk kind of about hobbies. He and his son loves to learn and so they love starting new projects. They are working on cars right now. His son got a “kit” and building it. He’s been painting lately and it’s not as easy as he thought it would be to get it to look right. They also have been learning how to sail. They got an old one so they can practice, but maybe in the future they’ll sail it from Washington state to Alaska. Of course I’m encouraging them. When he was dropping me off he said he’s like a kindred brother from another mother… because there were many similarities we have about creativity and building. I almost asked him for his number… but I don’t know how people will respond to being so forward. I mean I don’t know many here, but I know I’d enjoy hanging out with those two. Shoot even helping them with their vehicles would be cool… and they said I should learn how to sail… and said I’ve already been looking into it. One day… it’s coming. So I went in and sent pictures and videos to the wife. She ended up looking up for herself on the Walmart app and found something she liked but wasn’t at the store. So she’s going to have it mailed to the property. I came home loved on Elvis and cooked my dinner… and shortly after my roommate and her daughter returned. My roommate was coughing and I thought it sounded like she caught a cold over at her parents but she said it’s because of my pipe smoke. Which I have no clue how it could be detected… lol… but it just makes me want to get my own place even more. I feel like I’m making her sick and I don’t want to do that. And I’m in progress of being more conscious with my smoking behavior but to completely stop is not now. Yeah the wife at the temple said she could smell smoke on me. I told her that I’m working on my relationship but I’m hoping to learn from the tobacco plant in ceremony. Again I don’t think she’s really hearing what I’m saying. There are things that I don’t follow in their ways… that’s the unstructured she says and thinks that could do me good. I’m sure some structure could… but losing my freedom to decide whether it’s true or not will not be taken away from me. As long as they’re not trying to convert me… we should all work well together. I hope to learn from them… and hopefully they’re open to learn from me as well. Shoot… I’d love to be able to connect with Spiritual leaders. I’d like to show how shamanism can be effective for spiritual practices as well. So we’ll see how it goes… but I’m curious to see how this all plays out. I think this is good for tonight. I got the sleep mask that my Thailand friend recommended delivered today. I’ll start to try it out for sleeping and see when I’ll be able to do the 24 hour blackout in the future. But I’m getting tired. So until next time…