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Yeah I get it....but this human level is still a restriction. Humanity is on the path to Transhumanism, in which they fuse technology to their biological bodies. So even if you say human...its a restriction. Humanity is really headed for some very deep stuff, especially when technology and spirituality unites. It is going to be realllly different, that era is literally alien to our current experience. We just will go through a lot of in fighting, and judging, and violence first.

^ This...so much this.... ^ I've noticed...its like the weather. I've experienced profound joy the last couple of days and then woke up today...and it just felt blah....I was like really? I just accepted the feeling....it came and then it went. So I realized....its just a constant happening. Its like the freaking weather. I see why Leo said its an acquired taste. Its better than not having it...but there is something to said about ignorance too. The even funny thing is...everyone is actually already enlightened. I finally got what Buddha meant by that. You really just forgot...this is just a game of hide and seek and eventually you find it. It feels like coming home...somehow familiar....and yet also...alien. Weird for me...

@Ulax I've been studying IFS thanks to you and some others referring it, I think it might help with the judgment. I'll look into Fischer's work, thanks, I don't think im dissociated though, I feel a bit disconnected from people though, I feel alien more and more

I believe he said that mostly for himself/people on a similar level of development or in other words the few who get it. Leo is of course aware that such a statement is likely to turn off most people, but then again spirituality is probably too alien and intense for most people anyway, as there's this seditious incorrigibility to the human race. Combine that with the essentially quasi-schizophrenic fear-based prison in which humans live, and it's no wonder why they love their dogmas and conventional views so much.

I live with my god realized wife on estates I can materialize out of thin air, imagination is the limit. I spend years enjoying each of my creations to the fullest. From the most grandiose and over the top estates (im talking mega gothic cathedrals, pyramids and the like) , to the simplest comfy huts. I am in complete god mode dictating the fate of the world and of humanity, I create the story of the advancement of civilization deliberately and then forget it to experience it. My consciousness keeps generating people, culture and stories for my own entertainment. I advance civilization towards a new age of enlightenment, psychedelia and an appreciation for ancient civilizations. Society becomes a mixture of nature loving tribes, melded with futuristic tech melded with ancient architecture. Alien species intermingle with humanity and share their tech and customs with us. Fully fledged intergalactic wars take place in our skies. The war in heaven rages on right here on earth with catastrophic consequences in some parts of the planet. The aliens solve our energy and food problems, people start gaining psychic abilities. Eventually we get to the point where everyone can manifest anything out of thin air, people share their creations in a telepathic network connecting every single human being. New realities are birthed from human creativity into fully fledged VR simulations where you can enter and feel like you are in real life. Not only that but you get to customize your experience by customizing the level of pain and such. This means you can play video games, movies, books in real life, you have an eternity of content right there, you get to experience any point of view you wish in a story, you get to live out your wildest fantasies. You can save and get out of the experience at any time, or abort if it gets too much for you to handle. Nobody is forced to experience anything they dont want to experience. There is a lot of detail missing here but Im just trying to go over the most important points.

Psychedelics literally are alien substances. I assume you're certain these Jedi Mind Fuck shrooms are legitimately Psilocybe Cubensis(if I got the species right)? It's obviously improbable that you went picking them in the forest otherwise you'd probably be telling us a rather different story, or you might even be dead. More likely you bought either spores and grew them, or you bought the end product itself from a vendor you trust. At any rate, as far as I know, there isn't any experimental evidence to support the notion that acidic environments break Psilocybin into Psilocin. So the whole hypothesis behind the lemon tek method is potentially bogus. Though I suspect the people who do it experience some actual benefit anyway, especially when you consider how psychedelics tend to empower the mind. However, the addition of ginger is useful because ginger is known to combat nausea/motion sickness, with which some people struggle when doing mushrooms. As for the advice to throw out the flesh, I have no idea where that's coming from. The chemical constituency of specific parts of hallucinogenic mushrooms doesn't appear to be of significance, or at least I'm not aware of any literature that even bothers to mention it. However, based on what I'm reading from end users, the body may contain too many non-hallucinogenic carbohydrates and such that would be difficult to digest for some people. My advice though? Get yourself some 4 ACO DMT. It'll mind fuck you much better than any psilocybin-bearing mushroom. I'll post a link to a trip report of it, though keep in mind the man did 100mg, which is the equivalent of like 7 hits of acid or so. Nonetheless, it's a wonderful example of what this chemical can do. https://erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=101131

All doubt is fear. If everything is you, then what is there to fear? Doubt is the belief that something is separate so it is afraid to act. Doubt is the opposite of trust. If you trust then you don't doubt. Do you doubt your legs will work? Do you doubt your eyes will blink? If you suddenly your legs stopped working, then you would doubt whether they would ever work again. Why? Because now you DON'T trust your legs. They are not obeying you, so now they feel separate, alien. Like a parent whose kids don't listen to him, they don't feel like his kids anymore. Hell your legs not working could be recontextualized as a betrayal if you are clever enough. Doubt= fear. If all is well there is no doubt.

I have a very strong stomach I can pretty much eat anything lol. Remember how I said I don't drink alcohol so I'm sure if I ever decide to drink alcohol it would feel like I ingested a poison. It wasn't an ego backlash it just felt like I let an alien substance into my body. I wasn't scared because I knew people had consumed mushrooms. My question is just does the "flesh" have toxins or not. If not I am not making no damn tea lol. As long as its healthy I don't need to do all that stuff everyone said because my body doesn't react aversely to it. It just felt weird as it flowed in my bloodstream is all.

I had an awakening experience in my dream last night. It was horrifying. It felt like a DMT trip but with torture. I would live one torture experience such as having my back repeatedly broken by being stretched backwards over this wooden structure. Then I would flash into a new scene of laying on a table having my limbs ripped off. Then I was a disfigured fish like creature being eaten alive by some alien like predator. Then I had various body parts hung from metal wires and was flown around for the entertainment of others. This went on for what felt like an infinity, each experience transitioning into the next like a fractal zoom. Over & over again I experienced the most painful of deaths. It made me feel absolutely crazy. I remember in the middle of one of my torture sessions having a piece of advice manifest in front of me in the form of an actualized.org forum text box. The box said to not get lost in the bewilderment of the torture and rather to focus on the sensations of the experience. Essentially, the advice was to develop more sensate clarity of the pain rather than running from it. I did. I started to feel into the torture. Started to vipassanize every sensation I was aware of until eventually… I woke up. I’ve never been so happy to live my egoic human life. Never have I seen such beauty in the human experience. I woke up with a newfound sense of compassion for all life beings. Not just earthly life beings but the many, many other beings that are also experiencing deep suffering outside of our known universe. I’m glad to be alive.

are you going to experience it? who? you? or have you already experienced it? or maybe you are experiencing it right now? you, the you who fears being tortured, will not experience any of that (unless Isis captures you). who experiences it is the absolute total, and for it a torture chamber of the king of Babylon is sublime art, the same as a blade of grass. the you that fears is unreal, just a conditioning, an idea. the total infinity well that you really are is so foreign to you that you think you are like an alien

What do you think karma is? You will experience everything because everything is you. I am noticing a habit of creating separation on the forum. What Leo says is true, if everyone is you, then yes you will experience everything....and I mean everything. You will experience even stuff you DO NOT know exist. Everything in its totality. There is no separation so stop separating. So Alien life? Yes. A grain of sand? Yes. Whatever form awareness takes that is what you will take and you are already doing it RIGHT NOW. RIGHT FREAKING NOW.

Those whom you thought cared about you and loved you, run from you because to them you’ve become some strange alien. You find yourself in a place where you’re completely alone and left to deal with your souls karmic obligations and evolutionary processes. The wool is removed from your eyes and you’re able to see this earth shit for what it truly is. You’re no longer afraid of what life could possibly hand you. You tend to focus more on knowing and understanding your purpose for being here and moving and acting accordingly. You now understand that it’s time to put on your grown folks shoes, strut through the earth being exactly who you are and doing exactly what you’ve come to do. You really arrive at a place where you realize you have no more fucks to give about the things you once thought were very important.

this whole awakening thing is something new that is possible thanks to psychedelics. before the 5 meo the issue was about people who had had some spontaneous occasional awakening, or who had read about enlightenment and were looking for it through a long and hard path. enlightenment implies letting go of your ego forever, killing the self. something karmic that only happens if you are destined for it, 99,9% of the wannabe never get ir. The enlightened one, after years of searching, lets go of the self in eternity and becomes a being without desire, without attachment, who lives as an absolute without even understanding how a separate being once felt. without caring about his body or his material survival, completely unlimited, but alien to the human. Probably he spends his life meditating in solitude. For him, anything is equal to anything else. Awakening as leo says, is that one day, you, that egoic guy who could never opt for enlightenment in a thousand lives, takes a psychedelic and became the absolute for 5 minutes. this is a huge difference to not doing it, but after those 5 minutes you go back to being the unenlightened egoic individual, like leo, and you explain your story by conceptualizing everything, as leo does. It's much better to me the Leo's option than being enlightened, since you are still playing the ego game, but you have seen what it really is. the absolute will arrive, since it is reality, but why not play the ego while it exists? It is beautiful and challenging. should not be despised. seeing the absolute sometimes widens, enriches, the game of the relative. kill the relative and become absolute and return to bliss meditating sitting... so why did you create the game? let's play the best we can. the absolute will arrive

The neurons of my brain are firing within the same electromagnetic field that every single Galaxy in the entire Universe shines within. Why does a neuron fire the way it does? Because there's an active current in the field underlying it. The source of my thoughts and actions comes from outside of me exactly as much as they do inside of me. "My brain is only a receiver in the universe, there is a core from which we obtain knowledge, strength, and inspiration. I haven't penetrated the secrets of this core, but I know that it exists" --Nikola Tesla As above, so below. The electromagnetic thoughts emitted from the brains and antennae of every alien civilization in the entire Cosmos echoes throughout the ether. The mind is an infinitely entangled web of quantum states in Hilbert Space. The physical Universe appears as a brain. Physical form is metaphor for the underlying nature of the mind that naturally arises in Hilbert Space. The brain, as well as the mind, are illusory. They are thought-forms created by You within an Infinite plenum of pure quantum potential in unbounded Hilbert Space. Egoic, finite, fearful thoughts can be said to originate in the meat of the brain. Those genius eureka insights and revelations that come to us in states of meditation / heightened states of consciousness can said to be thoughts originating from one's Higher Self. Evolution is possible by the opening to Intelligent Infinity, which is coming through as the present moment, at a frequency which is approaching Infinity. As below, so above, and beyond, I imagine. In meditation, one moves further within the heart of the present moment. The present moment is infinite in frequency, and thus understanding. By balancing all thoughts and sensations within the conscious mind with the opposite charge, finding likes within dislikes, finding pleasure within pain, finding good within evil, clarity of mind is achieved and a higher frequency signal of Being echoes throughout. Beliefs are filters. Release all preconceived notions and expectations and give gratitude, for God is pure Love. The Light of God that shines deep from within an open heart, every thought and sensation speaks of Love.

I found this guy's(he is a meditation teacher) autobiography randomly a couple of years ago on youtube. he talks about how he left his home and went to the Himalayas when he was only 19 in search of his guru. the guru or the baba is an extraordinary godlike person who knows about everything and has superhuman powers like not feeling cold, knowing what other person is thinking, etc. He also briefly talks about aliens( a snake from another planet) who visited the earth and talked with his guru in an alien language. He also talks about some liquid (probably a psychedelic substance) he drank which separated his body and soul(he could fly and nobody could see him except of course his master). I don't know if it's true or not but the guy feels authentic. The biography is 15 parts long and each part is about 30 minutes in length if you guys watch it do tell me what you think about this. https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL94E8PRbVAj8sjB4ZlgQA_CTdZLUWYgTi ❤

@max duewel I totally second that! I am too and I feel like an alien struggling in a world that I'm not designed for haha.

Let's imagine reality as this nightmarish supernova that no alien or parallel universe can penetrate. Another hint - you are living in a parallel universe already. This universe is military grade protected. If you tried to understand it, you will only reach one place - infinite consciousness.

In my experience with 5-meo-dmt, 5-meo-malt and other psychedelics in general, I have been able to get only metaphysical insights. In this regard, I am really similar to Leo, I have been questioning the nature of reality for as far back I can remember. I can't get scientific insights about the nature of reality because that's not my field, God can't express his intelligence through me in that way. But what if a scientific genius like Einstein or Nikola Tesla was introduced to God consciousness? In theory, it would be possible for such a genius to channel the infinite intelligence of God and discover new technologies that could revolutionize the world. For instance, since reality is absolute infinity, there are infinite ways to create an inexhaustible source of energy, there are infinite ways to travel from a galaxy to another, and so on for any other possible revolutionary discovery. My guess is that if there are advanced alien civilizations, and it seems to be so, they have learned how to channel infinite intelligence to make new discoveries and solve all of their survival issues, such as food shortage, climate change, interplanetary travel etc. What is your take on this @Leo Gura? Has any of you guys been able to get scientific or creative insights other than just metaphysical insights from God consciousness?

? lol. I know exactly what you mean and can relate to that . It's like in one hand everything is what it is..so it's just obvious. But on the other hand everything is so mysterious and alien to us that we literally have no clue what anything is. We only believe, we really don’t know what is true. The sense of Knowing is only a product of Faith. By belief, i do not mean only for religious beliefs. Belief is more common than you think. Believing is a sign that our senses is interacting with the world. The perception cannot interact without believing. We are constantly choosing what to believe, we are constantly choosing the idea that makes the most sense to us. We have a list of conditions in our brain that helps us to decide what to believe. That list contents the knowledge we have learnt, and the things we have learnt is not necessary truthful. Do we really know the knowledge we have gained from our observations? Have you doubted your own knowledge? Why do you believe your senses while you are observing? Could your senses be lying to you? By only believing in your senses is already an act of faith. We see it, we believe it, and we know it. What we know is what we believe, it is our perception that is interacting with the world. The perception cannot reach what has not been touched by it, we cannot know what is beyond. What we have known is only a belief.

Tina is such an accurate mood. Taking an interim from more formal posts for a week or two... I've been sick for the past few days with a cold, so while in bed I've been working on my demon-guy fantasy - how I want it to play out for my bardo scene. Sometimes when life gets stressful or lonely, I like to fall back into a little world for a while, right before bed and right when I wake up and expand upon it. What I've got so far - in the astral plane, when human souls are being returned back to their place of origin, some of them get caught in the gravity of this planet. It is made of dark material/miasma, but functions similarly to the human realm - except that things are more easily manifest here - the beings here often hunt for their own food in the astral, beings/animals made of light. They are taken, ground or chopped and made into good foods that don't spoil. Everything is put together using a kind of collective imagination, there are still streets to walk down - no cars, plants and things such as this - cities and neighborhoods, but it isn't as thick of a realm as planet earth and things are a bit more malleable. So anyways, some get caught in the gravity of this planet on the way back to their own dimension, and are usually treated as a normal, but uneventful phenomenon. They aren't really seen, aren't given much help, and most do eventually find their way back on the right path to where they need to go. These beings look just like humans, except they all have black hair, ice blue eyes that cover the entire eye with a small, thin pupil and are 6.5-8 feet tall. A large portion of their society is based on eating the flesh from creatures of light, so they are able to turn into large black wolves and hunt in the astral plane in packs. They're made from the same substance that brings disarray to the human world, evil, strife and whatnot, but in themselves are a very compassionate and balanced society. They aren't evil, they just happen to be born from the other stuff. They live forever, and stop growing at around 30. Every year, the miasma makes about three our four new souls and the society cares for them into adulthood. They don't have children of their own. It's very much a male is a male and a female is a female society - they are energetically balanced, with men often growing a few thousand years before the women, and the women taking on a more submissive role. Men hunt, provide, women supplicate and fawn over them. Shit like that. Very cis. They have an energetic center in their chests that allows them to soul bond, women bring it outwards into the men, and like a key and lock, it takes a few years at times to get it just right, it eventually clicks. It's a social, but mostly partner-based society. A large portion of what activates and helps their society is this pair-binding function. They don't have things such as war, famine, greed, over population, none of this. So, about my partner - my imaginary after-death bardo boo. His name is Matt. And he is peculiar. He doesn't like members of his own species, and he doesn't know why. He likes human souls. A lot. He is 7 feet tall, with a stunning angular face. He's an excellent hunter and amassed a large portion of wealth over a period of a thousand years being a world famous chef - who would use the ingredients that he caught and hunted himself and owned a chain of restaurants for a while. He had tried getting along with women of his own kid, even sleeping with them, but the gravity in the center of him never went off - he just wasn't into it. Before he had let his business go, he noticed a human female soul wandering around and offered to help her find her way back to her own realm. He brought her to his home and took note that food made from the light was also very healthy for a human soul. They could eat the same things. He realized that he had a soft spot for them, and when he retired from the restaurant business, he began to actively seek out lost human souls and would help them get back to their homes. In this process he realized he was attracted to the human women. He wasn't a creep, though, and didn't do anything with them or insinuate that he was attracted to them. Friends of his would question him on why he hadn't found a partner yet, it was beginning to get a little unusual. He finally came clean and told them about his fetish for human women. This wasn't even heard of among their kind. He was just some rare anomaly. They tried to explain to him that humans were a lower species, that they came from a more dense planet, that the destiny of their lives and souls were completely different. They were meant to reincarnate over and over again until they completed some sort of cycle, while these beings were made from the energy of darkness and lived forever - and the darkness - within reason, consumes the light. This is why they were so balanced, not taking more than they should of anything, living by the natural laws of energetic balance. They wanted to know, can a human even love the way that we can? Do they bond to their partners the way we do? We aren't compatible, it wasn't a possibility. They tried to set him up with different women, none of which he showed any interest in. He explained that he loved their fragility, their imbalance, their fleeting little lives, he loved how innocent and starstruck they looked when they arrived here by accident and that it made him feel good to help them find their way back. No one could understand it. He accepted it. He would just live his life alone, he couldn't change who he was. He was viewed with respect and pity at the same time. Respect for the work he accomplished, the money he made, the skills he had, but pitied for being cursed to be in love with creatures that were incompatible. But then the events from "Eat it, Annie" happened and the right human fell into his lap. He learned that humans could bond in the same way that he could, that as long as there was a genuine connection there, that everything was compatible. When I slept, my soul siphoned off information as to who I was before I had died. I was a human woman, who had a hard life. I was lonely. I also felt incompatible with the world, weird, strange, and that nothing that I did fit or worked right. I had spent my whole life wanting something in life that I knew didn't exist, being who and what I was, and after my family passed away - I committed suicide. He could see it, and feel it all. Taking the pills. Having seizures on the floor before passing out and my soul leaving my body. But when my soul passed through the tunnel in the astral realm, it wasn't tilted towards where he lived, like the others - it had been moved there, a trajectory had been made. My soul was dropped here for a reason. He felt as though God had handed him a human of his own. He had his own little human to care for and to protect and we had bonded in a normal manner. The key fit the lock. He knew that his friends and others of his own kind that knew of him would be aware of this gravitational pull in his chest - meaning that an integral part of who he was was activated, and he knew they would smell a human on him and he wondered what their reactions would be. His species was completely neutral to humans, and so there was nothing to worry about, but being creatures of long standing tradition and a sense of general energetic balance, this was something not heard of or understood at all. He felt protective, knowing that I came from a place where life was more difficult, he wanted to hunt and to make food, to manage the home, to keep me there like a little pet. I would stay there with him forever - sent there by God to offer some relief to a lonely alien monster - to learn about what his species knew of the cosmos, of reality, and I would accept his home and his food and his way of living graciously. His friends and acquaintances had come to accept it. They viewed it as a one-time anomaly and made the decision that to have a human at all was preferable to being alone, but they couldn't understand it. The dynamic was quite skewed. He was much older, by thousands of years and had the wisdom and the meditative patience that those from the human world had never seen before. The amassed wisdom and balance that these creatures of darkness had managed to obtain was something to envy. Not many beings made from the darkness were able to create civilizations, let alone ones that were based on communal effort, tradition, work ethic and empathy. These creatures had a lot of empathy and love for their own kind, and struck a balance with the light, where they never hunted more than their share - and he had more empathy and compassion than even most of his own kind. To share in what he knew with a soft, vulnerable human is what made him feel like a male. To him, human souls were small and doll like - he liked the power imbalance and of being able to share the novelty of his life with something completely out of the ordinary. He knew of God, and of God's goodness, but hadn't expected that a soul would be brought to him, just for him. He felt very grateful. Creatures of the darkness were not often bestowed as many gifts as those that were light oriented - no matter how generous or neutral they were. That's all I got. I'm trying to expand on the traditions of these people, how things are manifest into their world, what a soul-bond entails between one of them and a human and how that works, the type of animals that they hunt and the cuisine that they make, what they look like as wolves, how exactly Matt helps the souls of humans - I don't know exactly how he got them on the right track to go back to where they belong, they don't use cars - so what sort of transportation they take, yadda yadda. After a few months, I'll have a fully detailed little world to fall back on for maximum cope. I like this one, this one is actually fun. And 'cause in this fantasy I'm like - fucken dead, I'm all hot again, so I don't feel like a total troll. It's a win-win. I hope my soul does get whisked away to some other place after death, to be with some dark demon man. They say everyone has their match - maybe mine is not part of this dimension?

@JuliusCaesar I'm assuming most who read these are adults, and some younger or older. Language might not capture reality exactly, but language can be a building point to better conceptualization, so I'm constructing these definitions, to make you and others build this into your minds too, clear distinctions before going deeper. I just see some people really struggle to make sense of Crysty, whether to call her a spirit, or a ghost, or an alien, or an imaginary friend, and so on. I'll on occasion do this in the future as well.

@Swarnim alright, I sort of just feel alien sometimes, like everyone else is asleep which sort of makes it feel like it's no big deal to walk away from it, not that I want to, but it feels scary easy. I think a spiritual ego might also make you cling to some concept of spirituality you have and lead you down the wrong path, I think the other guys are saying don't get attached to something "spiritual" either.

Hi guys I have been a silent follower of this forum for a while but never saw enough meaning in contributing to start writing posts. The reason being that I still saw myself as a mental masturbator that didn't have enough to show for himself so that he could add value to a blog. Leo changed my mind with his last video containing his poetic description of god consciousness. His trajectory of sharing beauty through more artistic means deeply resonated with me, and I now officially qualify myself as being beautiful enough to stop hoarding it all to myself, as well as finally seeing beauty as valuable enough to be a sharable resource. So here is my story of an integration challenge. Before watching leos video last evening, I had gone through a small experiment of my own. With a enjoyably mellow buzz of a trip amping up my lust for adventure, I found myself to be standing at the border of forest and field, in which I desided to lay down and take my Tshirt off. Something I had noticed before is that a benign little bug crawling over your calf can induce unholy amounts of not accepting the tiny lite toe steps on your skin. So I let the occasional ant critter explore my body scape, at first tensing up in irritation, trying to laugh at the fact that their mighty little jaws couldn't even pierce through my protective skin armour if they tried. From the depths arose a memory of a film scene in an indiana jones movie, in which giant rain forest ants drag some dude into their colony. Silly mainstream media instilling fear into the general populace... but what if my mind was powerful enough to make it real? Facing these thoughts, I felt mostly minor skin discomfort, little peaks and pokes and stings, myself reminding me of the possible sadistic nature of ants towards human beings. Some part of me found it silly to worry about insects, so I found peace with them just wandering around like traveling merchants in a desert. It was a relatively easy challenge, since I was just facing thoughts and didn't have to embody into some actual crazy 4d world like leo did with the raptors and the alien queen, but my intimate relationships with ants on my body has slightly improved. I think the deep underlaying fear at work here is the idea of accelerated decomposion of ones body. But the ant world is beautiful, so let the little worker ants do their metabolism of rearranging your bodily elements and fuse you with the megaorganism of the jungle, i guess. I would be interested in hearing about your experiences in which, with or without drug aidance, you were brave enough to face some actual threat in a "safe" and conscious way, therby being able deconstruct the fear and coming out the deep end with more trust towards the universe? Lets help eachother to show that there is nothing to be afraid of! Thank you leo for the radiant beauty of the story you posted and for being a role model of actually interacting with life face first. Much love to all❤️

No need to dramatize. The more alien I become, the more outcast I am it is actually easier for me to for example enjoy talking to my borderline asleep mother. Because of enlightement you see the beauty even in people. You may have periods of total seclusion, and then periods of gratitute for the illusion of other and will again immerse yourself in more social activities. Everyone has their theme. Yours may be to be totally secluded or totally social or any combination. Enlightment does not change that.

On the "path to enlightenment" or after, do you come back to society and integrate back into it in a way where you appear as a normal person in society at least on the surface? I keep detaching more from society in terms of how I think and what I believe and I have less of a social need. I still do and want to live in society and be a part of it, I'm just definitely less attached to it than I was. I'm afraid I'll get to a point where I'll be very detached permanently, I think I will always come back to be a part of it but I have this fear I may just keep getting more distant. It seems like more and more people seem asleep to me, I feel more and more alien. Also, if you think I may be doing, or following something, or believing something wrong please let me know, I'm not afraid to take help, and I don't and never have done drugs by the way.