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NONDUAL Transcendence of THE BODY Hi guys, here’s Silviu the ego and he has an amazing message for you, and I am that I am also here So, this is my 3rd major trip on LSD, and I’ve started taking LSD since January 2020. First dose 2250mcg. Second dose 2500mcg 4 days from writing this. Now 2500mcg again. (Then, about 10 hours about the first dosage, I took 2500mcg again) I guess that some 5MEO might help to deconstruct the ego energy in a more efficient way, after. ----------- So, today I went to visit a friend. And I told her how much LSD took and how it killed the monkey mind, in the way now I can meditate. And she told me to stop because she’s been on that road and you want to have a foot in the dual world and the LSD can influence the egoic energy for 6 months (or 6 years - can’t recall properly) So, I came straight home and took 2500mcg. Then I went to the park and started tripping balls. Then I, The Great Self became aware that I am. I work as a Deliveroo (aka UberEats). So I and Silviu went to work 2-3 hours later after taking 2500 mcg. Tools If you want to go this nondual path of taking that much LSD... J.S. Bach in order to stop hallucinations or other classical music (idea somehow originated from Alan Watts “it feels rather like sex when listening to Bach”> But I believe it works also with other kinds of music Need an understanding of Cosmology and the web of connection so the ego can understand the transcendence. In order for that listen to some Alan Watts audiobooks. I believe that Shinzen Young also has good resources on Youtube. Extreme Neti Neti (I the ego barely feel pain anymore and. Pain it’s just an illusion. Eg. Today I was riding uphill and didn’t feel the pain. Nor the need to breathe differently than normal. Just go Uphill. Been on the bike for 6 hours or so and didn’t even need water. The ego said it needed, but I observed him. The same observation above - the uphill part. Watch Matrix again. It helps to identify the ego. Silviu and I believe genuinely that the movie is rather a precise manual for transcendence. And if you must confront the Architect of your ego and of the Cosmic Ego. Lucy, the movie, might help, but Silviu and I believe it’s not necessarily a map, or manual, like Matrix, is. AND I’d also recommend all the books in Leo’s list on enlightenment and meditation… Basically the rule of thumb is THE MORE THE BETTER, but the books are only maps NOT the territory. Entheogenic Liberation: Unraveling the Enigma of Nonduality with 5-MeO-DMT Energetic Therapy Used it as a tool in order to identify what the Ego does. It’s a MANUAL. Silviu and I say Thank you. Martin Ball and Thank you. Silviu seems to be happy that he found he is an Ego and the Great Self at the same time. PS. LSD seems to act as an interesting substance which can deconstruct the ego on the long term THE BIG PS. LSD alone without knowledge and meditation training won’t be enough. I’ve been experienced but I’ve read reports of people having a whiteout for days from so big dosage. I’d advise taking 50% more each week if on the last trip you didn’t have a whiteout. But Silviu advises caution. IT WORKS BETTER IN NATURE, Silviu believes. LSD vs 5MEO Difference Toxicity LSD, Just in case you won’t take 100,000 at once won’t kill, but such dosage might put you in hospital for weeks. 5MEO I’ve read it’s dangerous in over 60mg. 5MEO 5MEO acts like a fucking strong INSTANT ego energy identifier and dissolver. MEO impacts NOW the ego. It is like an atomic bomb over the ego. After all, it’s the strongest psychedelic. But really big doses can be lethal, from what I’ve read. LSD LSD is a soft and persistent style. I’d like to assume as a fact that LSD also operates in the longer term over the psyche ego energy. The more LSD you take on a relatively closed period (6 months or so) the more it can help to deconstruct the ego. But deconstruction of the ego is not enough if you want to transcend it. You must also reconstruct it and accept it and be both the Great Self and Your Ego. In other words, you have to become aware as an ego of the Maya Illusion and you have to merge that ego with the awareness of the True Face. Warning: Do not take twice the same day big doses of LSD. It can impair and shake the Ego too much and can create too much discomfort. I’ve just done it and seems to be overwhelming for an ego. It takes patience for purification. Updates on the Experience Silviu I have done over 100 fast push-ups. Never have done so many in my life Silviu and I have also done 2 push-ups in one hand using only 2 fingers. Silviu and I have done a couple of push-ups in one hand only using one finger. Try to fix my myopia which is about -5. I can see the results. But the problem is that Silviu and I try to fix something which has never been broken, still. But Silviu and I believe that we can go beyond that and see crystal clear both with glasses and without. Silviu and I can control the pure energy better and better. It’s closely related with the synchronicity and the balance of the movement. Silviu and I feel like Doctor Strange and Neo from Matrix and like Lucy. It’s interesting. Silviu and I have decided to go 41 days for fasting without water and food while going to work. Insight on Matrix, the movie The matrix refers to the Illusion of Maya The Neo is the One. And in order to realize he is The One, he must first die. If you look in Sufism, the ultimate stage of enlightenment is called fana-fila which translates to die before to die. Neo comes from the same letter as the One. It’s just the Illusion. It is different. See this Koan. Two monks were arguing about the temple flag waving in the wind. One said, “The flag moves.” The other said, “The wind moves.” They argued back and forth but could not agree. Hui-Neng, the sixth patriarch, said: “Gentlemen! It is not the flag that moves. It is not the wind that moves. It is your mind that moves.”The two monks were struck with awe. This thing is also underlined in the scene when the Shaolin kid bends the spoon with his mind. The Oracle, she’s like a zen master, the Roshi. She has the typical behaviour of a Zen Master. And like a Zen Master, she never really makes sense. She’s rather speaking in koans. The Agent is the ego. And the ego at one point has taken control of the entire population. So, think of the ego as stages of consciousness development, a holon. The greater the Ego, the better good it can do. And every single ego has its own limitations. The Great Self implies The Minor Ego. The Great Self implies The Limited Ego. So, in that regard, the agent is a very egoistic Ego, somehow in perfect opposition with the great Self. It screams ME! ME! ME! Everywhere. And the ego wants to maintain homeostasis. Every single time while writing this my optical vision gets better and better, and with each improvement, I can see the psyche energy of the ego dissolving. And feel like it doesn’t want to dissolve. I and Silviu plan to watch The Matrix again, and we’ll come with new insights. Trinity is the symbol of love and of unification of The Son (Neo) with The Great Self (Trinity) and Maya or what changes (Morpheus in Latin means that change form). As Jesus said: I am The Father (The Great Self), The Son (The Ego) and The Spirit (The Maya). And what creates the Nonduality is LOVE. Unlimited, unconditional LOVE for anything that is. You can also find the Hindu Trinity. Hinduism believes in a trinity of gods: Brahma (the creator - The Great Self - The One), Vishnu (the preserver - The Maya - that which wants to maintain homeostasis - Morpheus), and Shiva (the destroyer - The Ego . That from which the “devil” comes from ). Brahma is the god of wisdom and it is believed that the four Vedas are delivered from each of his four heads. You can think of it as the Nondual, The Wisdom of LOVE. When I’m on LSD It feels like I’m uploading new programs in MY consciousness. Dozer is the character who gives Neo the program, “Dozer” is a reference to a psychedelic entheogen. Like taking a dose or a hit. Check out this GUY. He’s taking 40g of dried mushrooms in this regard. - LINK Cypher is Jude. Both Juda and Cypher are driven by some stupid shit, stupidly egoistic. They both sell the One for something that has no meaning, for an illusion. Money, for example, is just of an illusion of wealth. The real wealth is what you can buy with it. Jude sells Jesus for 30 silvers and Cypher sells Neo for a fucking good life in the matrix, which is just an illusion of real life. They seem to have no will of their Great Own but rather driven by the Ego. Cypher I’ve found that also has the meaning of a person of no importance, especially one who does the bidding of others and seems to have no will of their own. But WE must not judge his action, because judging is something that the ego does by his own. And if judgement comes, the enlightened person treats it with compassion. Judah in Hebrew means give thanks, praise. Jesus means in Hebrew "to deliver; to rescue." Neo was also THE One who came to rescue Zion. Zion means 1. the hill of Jerusalem on which the city of David was built. 2.(in Christian thought) the heavenly city or kingdom of heaven. New Updates: I’ve done some Shaolin fight movements. I’ve never done anything like this in my whole life. It seems to be a perfect balance and symmetry Like Martin Ball does in his movements when he does the embodiment. And also Silviu and I play with energy. It’s amazing! I’ve done other 100+ push-ups after the 10h after I took my last LSD. It seems that the only thing that stops me from doing more is egoic energy. Ego is such a bitch in his will to maintain homeostasis NEWER UPDATES The Nondual state lasted for about 12 hours or so. I've noticed that outside my house, while on the bike and delivering food, it was way easier to maintain the nondual state. But once I arrived in front of the house I could feel how the ego was pushing to take control. I could feel the egoic energy on my face. I required very focused attention in order to keep maintain the nondual state while in my room. Next day I had a very powerful ego backlash... OMG. I had to observe and “catch” every single thought that the ego would try to bombard my mind with. It just wouldn’t stop thinking - Fucking Ego Bastard :)) But the day after, when I’m writing this, it seems that he’s kind of taken a break and left my mind in restful silence. I’ve searched more on the Matrix movie. I was kind of disappointed to see that my insights on the movie weren’t that new, as there’s already known that the movie is influenced by things from Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism ( and African culture if I remember well). But anyway, it was interesting to have all those insights without knowing that they existed before. My myopia is also getting better Three Days later since the experience - This morning I’ve been able to do 115 push-ups. Seems to be a mental thing rather than a muscle power thing, 3 day later… well… the world still looks a little trippy.

Earlier this month I had my second mystical experience. I was watching Leo's guided Neti Neti meditation, and right when he says "you are this infinite nothing", I became this nothingness and realized that the self is an illusion. Although I was nothing, I was everywhere. This was very shocking to me, so it only lasted a few seconds, but in these few seconds I was bombarded with insights, understandings like "ooooooh so this is what teachers meant by nothing and everything; this is why it's incommunicable". But like in the 3rd Ox-Herding picture, I'm not sure if what I had was an enlightenment experience. Although I was this infinite nothing, I didn't identify with all of experience, but simply knew I was the observer and creator of experience. My thoughts are that I experienced a separation between experience and pure consciousness, but I'm not sure if this can be called an enlightenment experience or if it's just an ego death. Is an enlightenment experience and ego death the same thing? Did I see the ox? Did I not? I'm asking myself these questions and would like to hear some opinions that could aid my understanding.

If neti-neti is duality, which it obviously is, since oneness cannot say "not this" about itself, then why is it taught in nonduality? One possibility is that the original teachers of neti-neti used it to see which disciples were just parroting and aping the masters. If someone promoted neti-neti then that was a clear sign that the student was just imitating the masters since that's a duality teaching pretending to be nonduality, not actual nonduality teaching.

Yes. You are preaching in many posts just on this thread, imo. Preaching to me is talking "at" ppl thinking you are absolutely right and not open to discussion. My opinion, is you are speaking neo-advaita (no practice) and to me it's not helpful and you didn't answer one single question I asked you. I don't think you answered @Nahm questions either. Which further makes me question your advice to others. I don't doubt that you "think" you are right, but you may need to rethink it. If you are trying to help others, then know that everyone's path is different and many need to meditate (clears/calms the mind), do Self-inquiry and neti-neti, concentration upon the Self (I am), study of ancient scripture, spiritual teachings....its all valuable.

You don't think Self- inquiry is a useful practice for Self-realization? If you knew nothing of awakening or enlightenment and didn't do practices, then how would you turn within? Would that even make sense to you, if someone just told you to turn within? Wouldn't you think they were talking of thoughts, feelings and emotions? How are they to see that the little "me" is illusion without spiritual teachings or practice, such as neti-neti, Self- inquiry, etc? What your preaching is very neo-advaita, emphasizing the direct recognition of the non-existence of the "I" or "ego," without the need of preparatory practice. Telling ppl caught in the experiential world that they are illusory, or that nothing can be done to attain enlightenment is not helpful.

I have noticed that all spiritual teachings have something false in them! Even ACIM which bashes the ego. The truth is bigger than that and the ego serves a useful and valuable purpose, even though it needs to be transcended. Another example is neti neti "not this, not this" which is false since it teaches duality instead of nonduality. To say "NOT this" about anything is duality. And on and on, all spiritual and religions have some false teachings. Why is that? It's because all spiritual teachings and religions are a product of the global ego which is built on deception.

Hello, Does anyone have any experience with using 5-MeO-DMT to revisit old trauma/PTSD and to move through it and put it to rest? I have told my therapist that I want to try it but she has recommended against it considering my past drug use. However, more recently I have stopped using drugs with the exception of psychedelics. Psychedelics have given me many profound experiences and don't give me negative consequences. In fact, when I was using drugs I believe I developed some sort of PTSD from the negative things I experienced. Then after I stopped using them, I took a solo Lsd trip looking for some answers, used the Neti Neti method, and the next few days were amazing. No shakiness or intense anxiety and Paranoia until the old patterns eventually re-emerged after a few days. Can I use 5-MeO-Dmt to work through my trauma and break free or not?

Perfect, then you can hopefully recognize this "gap" in time, is you, awareness. As awareness, you can never be out of the present moment. You "are" the present moment. It only "seems" like you are not in the moment when thoughts are about the past or future. So, what is really meant is to rid oneself of believing "psychological time", which causes suffering and makes you think you aren't "in the moment". I don't think this can be done. You can see that the ego is illusory, that the little "me" is false, but it will continue to do it's thing. The thing is to see through it and then life won't seem as burdensome. To rest as awareness, being aware of your true nature and play your role as the action figure, that's the goal, imo. Its an ignorance problem we have, it causes suffering. It is when we believe that one is a separate, volitional entity, instead of our true nature, which is whole, complete awareness/consciousness. I found that Self-inquiry and neti-neti was very helpful in the beginning. I would recommend doing that if you aren't already.

You are in the phase of withdrawal from the world. It's okay. It's part of neti-neti, not this not that, but you can't stay there forever. The return movement will start again. This is where you once again include all things as part of the whole. "Once there were mountains, then no mountains, then mountains again"

So what I'm thinking is set up a random day to practice an extended meditation session for like 5-6 hours (maybe do this once every so often). And for daily practice, meditate for at least a half hour each day and do a contemplative practice, such as the Neti Neti method. Not to diminish the power of the Neti Neti method, but it seems more basic than placing awareness on awareness at the stage I'm at currently.

I have depersonalization disorder. I read that obviously it isn't the same thing as enlightenment. But how can I really determine the difference? I do have a little resistance to the neti neti method. I was on a mountain yesterday and some states of consciousness I was in just seemed different than what would normally occur with depersonalization. I did have 3 hours of sleep before a big climb, so that could just be the effect of that. I was a little anxious today even with like 10 hours of sleep and recovery, so it might have just been that.

In the vein of neti neti being an ‘outward to inward’ practice by deduction, and breath meditation being a surrender, or ‘inward to outward’ nothing into everything venture...if you’re not quite ready for a true to form do nothing practice, just do it uber casually through the day. The momentum of ‘doing’ slowly fades, at a comfortable pace. Notice everything you are not doing. Notice no commands, no process, no ‘ceo’ director of the brain or mind in the typing / reading of these words now for example. No effort in understanding what these words are saying, right? While driving, for example, say aloud, I’m not driving - this is an experience, “driving”, “in the car”, then notice the “doer” did not say anything aloud. Similar to self inquiry, ‘you’re’ going behind the doer, behind the thoughts. Most thinking is of the doer, in the doer’s future or past, potential situations, etc. None of which is actual, it’s all overthinking. So the ‘ambilical cord’, what keeps the doer “alive”, is being cut at the root, thought ‘itself’ & belief, and the believing in “I am the thinker”. Notice talking ‘happening’, disengage of the belief that I am talking, and notice the experience of “talking” continues just the same, without “doing it”. This is in itself all doing, pointed towards “witnessing”, to reveal there’s no witness. You might also spend days saying the absolute minimum which ‘needs’ be said. This can reveal how much thinking was being spoken, and how much overspeaking feeds back into overthinking. ‘Witnessing that’ can reshape the entirety of the experience of thought, and speaking, and the simplicity, the ‘plainness’ that you are not separate from this moment arises. But, before the unification is seen, it’s highly likely (not certain though) that feelings are going to bubble up. Don’t think about them, and don’t allow them to involve someone else in the ‘their fault’ sense. Just relax, breath, feel breathing, and let the feelings do their feeling thing. Understanding inevitably follows, as the feeling signified a discord of thought self and awareness. More of this ‘understanding which arises’ = ‘more’ being & wonderful feeling, and less overthinking, and judging one’s self / misunderstanding feelings. And...there might be one, two, a few things...that if you were to fully aware of ‘what you are doing’, you wouldn’t be able to stop doing it. Write the opposite of those things up on your board. Get what you really actually want out in the wide open.

@EvilAngel make sure that your actually doing the practises and doing them correctly. Using powerful techniques like neti neti and vepaasana along with retreats and phycedelics. The moment you get enlightened you will laugh at the idea that it might not have been worth it. However, also look at Leo's video "the dangers" that video. It's actually quite dodgy in a way. For example, if you go at this work "half-heartedly" there's a chance you might practise and practise and practise using slightly incorrect techniques and waste 5 or 10 years of your life. God revealed to me that, with this work, it's either all in, or not in at all.

Yeah this was difficult. It can become an addiction to want to stay in these states of altered consciousness. The key is to apply the insights into daily life as it is so easy to get back into the trap of ego/delusion. I think what is helping me is when i meditate at home i combine vipassana with neti neti - makes it a lot easier to see impermanence, no self whilst interacting with others.

Hey, good to meet you I'm aaron. I've been on the path for about a year now. Self enquiry, kryia yoga, psychedelic retreats etc. One thing I'd say to you straight away is this, the very fact that you've found your way to this website shows that you're path has started. Those experiences are very good your having. You'll learn to hear the voice of the creator more and more. Try not to focus on intellectual question and answer based thinking. Try to sort of feel what it feels like...this "thing" that you felt. It's kinda like falling in love, the more you think about it the more you interrupt it. Your thinking mind will not be able to progress in this work very far at all. You have to go with the feeling. But it's strange, counterintuitively...when you surrender the thinking mind, the thinking mind becomes more powerful! And dynamic. Yeah my recommendation is to listen to the voice and start your hardcore practice today. I'd start by establishing a concrete conceptual understanding of what self enquiry is meant to look like. Look at Leo's videos on self enquiry. Self enquiry and "neti neti" are the same thing. Different names. I recommend getting the kryia yoga book (private message me for info on how to get it). Then just do like 5-10 mins self enquiry, sat on a chair with your back straight and not leaning against the back of the chair. Followed by some kryia yoga. The yoga can be hard to make sure your doing it right. Just give it a shot and let it fall into place. My personal report on the path so far; My favorite part of the change so far is, I am far less psychotic, I am more intelligent, wiser, more powerful, more fulfilled. And at times during peak consciousness I feel what your describing. For me it's just a sense of everything bows to me it's quite interesting. The most important thing is finding out what you are. I recommend safe and moderate use of psychedelics for a starter. It'll peak your interest, and you'll probably have a fun time on the way. Your eventually to a have to completely surrender logic and just *fall*, in *love*. There is nothing logical about love. It just Is. So....fall

@Recursoinominado You are describing neti neti. (not this not that) The point is detaching from all to get to a point of total detachment - shunyata, which in turn will go full circle into everything, at which point you realize you are indeed all that you see, but to get it you must first see that you are also not it. You are also both and many more facets, It's a strange loop. You are doing some fine introspection here. Keep at it, and godspeed.

Hey everyone, thanks for reading. I am just posting because I was listening to A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle and he mentions "feeling into the inner emptiness where you believe the form of your body exists". Then I started to realise the outer sensations from my feet and hands are seemingly being projected into an empty field. The boundary of where I feel my "body" exists doesn't have a point I can locate, and it feels more empty and groundless than it ever had before. This is a bit strange because it almost feels like as I am writing this, I am watching my hands type and I am thinking of what to write but the sense of myself as the do-er is much less prominent. Here are some things that have helped me to reach this insight and continue to increase my consciousness - Consistent meditation each day (Do-nothing, Walking meditation), Self Inquiry, Leo's Guided Meditation (specifically the moment where he says to become reality), Leo's Mindfulness with Labelling Video (this allowed me to focus more on inner/outer feelings and catch my thoughts), Leo's How To Get Enlightened Guide, All of Leo's Self Inquiry Videos, Leo's thread with the list of consciousness exercises, Leo's Neti Neti Method Guided Inquiry video, Listening to the audios of Stillness Speaks + A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I know that I still have a long way to go because even though I can recognise this inner emptiness inside and that I can't pin point "where I am", I still have so many questions left to validate- - Why is there something at all? Why is there not nothing? - Why do we seemingly wake up each day from the same perspective of a human? - Why in this consciousness would our bodies seemingly follow us around like zombies? - What is the purpose of reality? - Why does consciousness create?

It's hard to say. That's all Ramana Maharshi would say. Just hold on to the feeling of "I am." For me, the neti neti process and similar inquiries seemed to help.

Thank you guys! I've done the Neti Neti method once already on shrooms and it was a great experience for me too. To listen to Alan Watts sounds amazing as well @Rigel Thanks for the advice with the music. Any experience I had was with music yet because it immediately gets me into the right energy.

@Yannik My first LSD trips were done with friends but they were bullshit. Playing guitar hero, listening to music, chatting shit and watching SpongeBob etc. I recommend Leo's Neti Neti method guided meditation. I had a very profound and wonderful experience when I tripped with this, albeit, just a glimpse. When I micro dose I like to do some mindfulness practice with an Eckhart Tolle or Alan Watts talk playing in the background. Make sure your home is tidy and errands are completed. This is ideal environment for a good trip. I believe the tab will take you where you need to go regardless. Good luck. ALSO, write down your goals for the trip and why you are tripping, what are you trying to uncover or achieve etc.

@How to be wise @Adam MLOL so many people saying I am a beginner because I asked a simple basic question which only shows their judgemental nature and their desire to go one step above so that they can feel better , I have been practicing spirituality since I was 14 and now I am 21, I know the answer to the question as given by other enlightened people like Osho and Krishnamurti, I am also familiar with Gyana yoga, Bhakti Yoga, Karma yoga,Samkhya yoga, Walking meditation, Mindfulness, Pranayam, Asanas, Mudras, Mantra meditatation, Trataka (candle light meditation), Vipassana, Anapanasati, Soham meditation, Do nothing meditation, Leo's enlightenment exercising , neti neti method , Dynamic meditation and other Osho's meditations whose name I have forgotten but have came across in the past. I have read Osho's book 'Yoga the alpha and the omega' 5 years ago and I still remember he saying- Even if you are completely focused on your toe, that can become meditation. I have read over a dozen of Osho books, but nowdays due to my busy schedule I don't. In addition I have deeply studied - The Geeta, The Dhammapada, Read bits of Tripitaka, Read many articles on Hinduism and Buddhism wikipedia and non-wikipedia, Read a book on Christian mysticism, Read Kierkegaard's fear and trembling, Read Hegel's science of logic, Read Metaphysics of Heraclitus , Parmenidies, Descartes and Spinoza, Watched 100s of videos from Leo, Osho, Krishnamurti, Sadhguru, Have also studied the art of living by William Hart as taught by SN Goenka and this is not my complete resume. I just wanted to ask what people have got to say about this, and stimulate a discussion and collect different perspectives (as described by Leo in his vid the 65 rules of a good life). Also I believe in going back to the basics no matter how many years you have been practicing your disicpline, whether it is spirituality or medicine, or art. Great masters always focus on basic, you should notice that in any training session on martial arts. We should cut out this habit of judging someone as a 'beginner' or a lesser then you just because now you can feel better. This only shows a sign that you are egoic and less developed spiritually and have not learned anything. Earlier I said to a user that you have small ego, this means that I am not biased but I collect the signs that the users display and put them in the category that they belong and then look at the corressponding category. Just like when I see that you are having fever, with chills and rigor, with nausea, diarrhoea, vomiting, lack of appetite and your ag-ab titre is more or your blood culture shows positive then I can suspect typhoid, or if you have fever and swelling the parotid gland area and you feel difficulty chewing and swallowing and your age is 5-10 then I can suspect you have Mumps which is caused by Paromyxovirus. This means that I should make my post such that I don't let people judge me in an inferior manner and I have to start with , "don't get me wrong I am not a beginner because ____", but my impression was that people are already developed enough to not make 'false inferior judgments' and feel better, but apparently I am wrong.

@AleksM Tnx great post, being aware of breath is great but there is also self inquir neti neti, being aware of awarness, kriya yoga etc

Hello everyone. From the beginning I apologise for my poor English.Please show me a little leniency?.My name is Constantin, im from Romania and im 47 years old.After my enlightenment experience,i start looking for more enlightened common people , I mean not like Mooji, Tolle or Adhyashanti.?.So in my searches , found Leo’s videos and after seeing his videos about enlightenment, I decided share my enlightenment experiences here.I try to be a short story ,because I don't want to bore anyone with the story of my life. For a start I will have to make a short introduction about how my spiritual journey began.So it all started at the age of 4 to 5,when the night before I fell asleep I had a “dream”. It's the “dream “I could never forget. Actually it was not a “dream “but that is how I considered it at that age.After forty years the same “dream “has been repeated quite similar .Now after forty years ,I know it wasn't a dream.Then for first time in my life , just 4-5 years old ,i experienced a powerful and authentic mystique experience, where I touched the true nature of my being. Unbelievable isn’t it? How do i know it was that ? I'll explain later when we get to this point.I continued to have a normal life until I was 23 when I discovered yoga and started practicing hatha -yoga , pranayama and meditation ,especially with the Aum mantra . I was attracted from the beginning by all that yoga means and I started reading many books of the spiritual masters like Ramana Maharishi, Nisargadatha Maharaj, Sri Aurobindu, Shivananda, Osho, etc. This is how I first heard the question "Who am I?" It was a powerful shock, because it was the first time we realized that, I am not really ,who I think I am.What do you mean I don’t know who I am ? ?You know that feeling isn’t it ?Then I made a commitment to myself, and told myself that I won't die until I find out ,who I really am. I practiced hatha yoga , pranayama and meditation for about 10 years ,with some notable results that became discontent later.I was not happy with that because ,had not reached "where" all the spiritual masters were pointing. And I decided to do nothing for a while. But this period lasted about 7 years.I was very unhappy, stressed, depressed, sometimes I didn't even want to live anymore. Nothing was linked in my life anymore and I didn't know where to start or where to go. All this time, I started to practice the introspection, self-oservation and self inquiry trying to find answers to the multitude of questions that grinded me. A good method that helped me a lot during the spiritual journey was "Neti-Neti". Meanwhile, after seeing the movie "DMT The spirit molecules”, I became very attracted to the world of psychedelics and felt that a new opportunity open up for my spiritual evolution. There followed a period when I documented how well I could ,about the magic mushrooms, lsd, dmt and ayahuasca. But the problem was now, where and how did I get these substances, because in Romania it was almost impossible at that time to find something like that.But as nothing is left to chance and as everything is interconnected, life has given me a new opportunity and I moved in London,England. Here I was able to get my lsd and Dmt and I found out ,where can I have to experience ayahuasca. I had a total of 12 experiences with lsd , one in every months. The first one was the launching pad in the infinite field of consciousness. At that time this experience completely changed my life. I remember that feeling like I was heading to death , before i take first time lsd (220 mu).. I was very scared but didint give up. I became more and more aware of thoughts, emotions ,feelings and sensations.I became contemplative and introverted. At the same time I had 6 experiences with synthetic DMT ,but to be honest I didn't like it so much,because they didn't give me time to explore the field of consciousness voluntarily.The multitude of vividly colored and fractal geometric shapes is impressive but you seem to be stuck there.It was clearly not for me, I felt that I could not use this as I wished for self discovery.The next year I found a place in Spain where I could experience ayahuasca ceremony ,and a nice surprise, 5 Meo-Dmt. It was the first time I heard of this substance. After doing my own research , I was impressed and told myself that is what I need. Although it is the most powerful drug in the world and scared me to death, my intuition told me to try it. So I went in Spain two times,where I had a total of four experiences with ayahuasca and two with 5 Meo -Dmt. An interesting thing was that, before about two weeks to experience 5 Meo -Dmt and ayahuasca, this thought appeared in my mind ,"you will gonna die". And it was repeated as a mantra ,and the more tried to avoid it or resist it, the more powerful it was.Just imagine this for while ?. From this point whole my life became “pure madness “if I think that ,with a rational and logical mind. On the other hand, if you have a radically openmind to infinity, as Leo says, everything turns into authentic spirituality. Now I have reached the point where I can explain the so-called “dream “I had when I was a kid. So we are at the moment when I have smoked 5 Meo -Dmt , we smoked because his origin it was from that frog ,bufo alvarius. I mention that ,before I smoke ,I told myself that, all I want before I die ,is to know “who I am”. Because I felt like this are the last moments i have to live.I smoke all at once, as I was instructed and I have time to sit down in a meditation posture just about 5 seconds. I was instantly absorbed into an infinite and empty space.Everything was of a light darkness and in every direction I looked was without limits. Time was gone. It was just an eternal moment. An absolute quietness was everywhere.There was no trace of “I “ like self ,physical body, thoughts ,emotions or sensations .I just exist, I was pure existence.I was simply enjoying my own existence.Suddenly I was absorbed again into a small space like an atom but accompanied by the same infinity, lack of time and form,like one moment ago. I was eternal.I was an endless ocean of pure joy and happiness. In fact this was the taste that I had left afterwards, the taste of Eternity.The whole experience lasted about 45 minutes, afterward I practically began to feel as I entered the physical body as in some clothes. I translated different specific energetic bodies ,until i got to the physical body. It was a very painful emotional return. I felt that ,I did not want to comeback to the physical body, but i can’t do nothing against. Who want to comeback from Eternity? I lay down on the floor in the newborn position and started crying for a few moments. I don’t know why? I felt clear how all this was prepared for me ( as a person) beforehand,it could not have happened otherwise. Now ,if we remove just the part whit the comeback for the trip ,how you can describe this trip when you are child ?? Even like adult , when you suppose to know everything, How you describe indescribable ? It was dream? It was samadhi? It was a meeting with God? It was awakening? It was enlightening experience? What happened 8 hours later was even more unbelievable. So 8 hours later at midnight ,the ayahuasca ceremony took place . During the trip with ayahuasca, i had a flashback quite similar with 5 Meo -Dmt but with a strong infusion of Dmt vivid visons from ayahuasca brew.This time because the journey with ayahuasca lasts between 4-6 hours ,was much too much for me.I felt like it would never end.. As I closed my eyes I began to enter an infinite game of creation.I witnessed an endless creation of universe that unfolds with an indescribable speed. Panic began to dominate me. Me like a person did not control that . I went and woke up one of the people who watched us during the ayahuasca ceremony.. I tried to explain to her what was going on with me but I saw how helpless she was in helping me.The only thing I could do was give up myself to the situation.To be honest ,how can someone help you in this situation.? She stayed up with me all night and until 10 o'clock in the morning.She talked and walked with me outside in the garden all this time trying keep me here on earth. I had lost my entire egotic identity, now i am just Pure Presence. I was omnipresent and omnipotent. You know this infinite power scare you , if you’re not ready yet for her .After a period of time I became aware of the physical body ,but with great efforts and at the same time, I think due to the decrease of the dmt dose in my body system. I remember one time when I went to bathroom, I looked in the mirror to see if I still have my face.?.In the afternoon I tried to sleep a bit but couldn’t., my mind had become infinite, and this power that was present in me did not let me sleep.That strong energy was still present in the body ,couple days afterward. Like I was connected to a nuclear power plant. My mind was fucked up. Every vision I had blow my mind. I never thought someone can experience something like this. So now I ask you ,when you think the Awakening took place ?? When I was a child or two years ago when happened what I talking about?? Tricky , weird and amazing in the same time isn ‘t it. You remember that stupid thought, that totally upset me and got me scared ,“ I will gonna die”? Now it's gone by itself. You know why.? Because I was really fucking dead. Of course, I could write more in detail, but I tried to extract only the essentials. What I experienced directly in about 24 hours ,under the influence of this amazing technology that is 5 Meo Dmt and ayahuasca ,can never be accurately described. And not because we do not have the necessary resource, but because we are the resource itself. How you can describe , indescribable.? You can’t. In fact Here is nothing to be described. So what followed in the next two years after and until today, is a intense process which led me to enlightenment and in which all knowledge must be incorporated into daily life. Now I will tell you what happens in the next two years after the spiritual awakening.After this deep awakening, at a distance of a month and a half, I experienced the second ceremony with ayahuasca and 5 Meo Dmt, in the same place in Spain.There is a lot to say about the second experience with 5 Meo-Dmt, but maybe another time.After all this I decided to start meditating again, because I still had doubts about the method by which the spiritual awakening took place.I still couldn't believe that psychedelics can do so. Mostly it was due to my deep rooted belief ,that spiritual awakening can only take place just through the traditional methods,like meditation, self- enquiring, contemplation.I was wrong, they working better together. A single experience with 5 Meo -dmt makes ten years of yoga and meditation no longer matter.But yoga istill counts as the foundation of any psychedelic experience.Because if the foundation is not good then the house is ruined. If you want real progress, on the spiritual path, this combination of traditional yogic methods and psychedelic could be the ideal method, if you have an open mind ,of course . After the awakening experience, I became very conscious and reach a high level of consciousness ,this helped me a lot in practicing meditation effortless All this time I saw again after many years a lot of the teachings of Mooji, Adhyashanti, Sadhguru, I saw the whole category with films about enlightenment, non-duality, meditation and not only on Leo's blog. I read again a lot of books of Ramana Maharshi, Nisarghadata Maharaj,, Eckhart Tolle, Lao Tzu,books like Vivekachundamani,Yoga Vasistha,Baghavad Gita, Patanjali- Yoga Sutra,documents about Wei-Wu-Wei, zen buddism,holographic reallity ,non -duality. I suck all the information like a sponge, because now I understand everything, and everything makes sense.The meditation session were initially about 40-45 minutes ,after which they rose at one and a half hours and later ,at three and a half hours. I started meditating again with the mantra Aum, but soon I replaced the mantra with a method taken from the book Vijnana Bairava Tantra. This technique involves following the breaks between thoughts ,and penetrating through this pause beyond the mind in absolute silence. This is an advanced technique, but wasn’t a problem for me. I felt that I needed a very powerful method to invest whole the spiritual energy, that I had accumulated from previous experiences .This technique implies a very good concentration and the power of observing thoughts without identifying with them. Basically you are always careful not to cling to any thought, always remaining in the void between thoughts.At the beginning, of course, the pause is practically unobservable or very small, let's say for a second, but as you progress in practicing it the pause will get bigger and bigger.Virtually all you have to do is to be careful that every time you notice that you are clinging to a thought, you will remember and return to the void between them.And at the master's level of technique you will remain absorbed in the pause between two thoughts, which have now increased considerably, regardless of the flow of thoughts running in the background. An advice, don’t trust in your rational mind. Three or four months later after I started to practice this technique, during a meditation, I suddenly began to hear an inner sound.This sound cannot be described in words, others called it "the music of the spheres", but I called it "the sound of absolute quietness ". Of course, silence cannot be a sound in a rational explanation, but this is a paradox.Have you ever tried to listen the silence ? You will be surprised when you understand that ,here is nothing just Absolute Silence. I was surprised by his appearance ,and in the first phase, I did not understand his meaning. Then I realized that this is the reward of my work. I had passed beyond my mind. I had passed through the void between thoughts in the Infinite Emptyness. From this point, my meditation turned into absorption into Infinite Tranquility. Thus I understood that sound was a huge help in my meditations. In fact I was doing nothing ,but sit and listen to the “sound of quietness “.And I continued to meditate until ,I realized the true nature of my being. .Only in absolute tranquility the light of the True Self can be seen. To be able to understand that ,,I am a Pure Consciousness.”, I must gave up even this divine sound , (don’t understand wrong sound is here , he can’t go anywhere ?) Now i am aware about my awareness. In these last two years I have had many illuminating experiences( satori) on different levels of understanding. Do you know that “ A-HA” moment which every enlightened being talking about, is so very thrut ,profund and simple. This is the reason why is called “A-HA” , because is so simple.What is Real Self ?, what is Reality?, or what mean enlightenment? Is nothing you can imagine or thinking. It’s beyond your imagination. Because whatever you will imagine ,you already are.Here exist just one infinite reality, that is Reality of I AM . To this Reality you cannot give it any form and no name, and no matter how hard you try, you will not be able to comprehend its infinity in any form, regardless of its nature. I have even experienced the awakening of the kundalini energy, for four times. Years ago I was curious to experience this, after reading the stories of others. I didn't ask for that, but my intuition was telling me it was going to happen.But now after it happened to me ,I’m not sure if I would like to experimence again anymore. I did not know never when it will happen, but when he woke up it completely paralyzed me. It is so strong that I remained with the jaws clenched , I had the impression that my teeth would break. My mind was stuck, my whole body was vibrating strongly and I could do nothing but observe how this energy walks through my body like a snake. Yes indeed, was feeling like a real snake inside my body , making space through my head. It was so terrifying the first time,after that I started getting used to it a bit.But if I add the element of surprise, that I never knew when the next time would be ,and under what conditions it will happen, nothing changes much ?.These traditionally techniques boosted with lsd, ayahuasca, dmt and 5-meo-dmt , make me feel like a rocket that did not deviate from its path to Mars. It's the best combination ever.It doesn't matter that I am involved in daily activities or not, that I meditate or sleep, that I have sex or watch a movie, that I contemplate or think, I am present Here and Now .Finally I transcended the mind, Now I am this Infinite Monolithic Presence.I am the center, that has no center. I am beyond all Gods who have ever existed and will ever exist.I am a Pure Being. I will share with you ,two things that others call paranormal powers (siddhis), they are like a gift received for my work. 1. Now I am so concious, that no thought, emotion or feeling that appears on the screen of the mind ,can’t pass unnoticed and of course that, I do not identify with anything. They can no longer cling to me.The strongest laughter I have ever had and I still have , when I see how rationally mind and thoughts work and how they can create an identity where there is none. You understand how unbiased you must be with yourself and others to have this laugh? To laugh at your own thoughts and not to believe them?. That mean zero judgement. Doesn’t matter mind is active or not,I am always the invisible still witness, which rest on highest level of consciousness of myself . I am Here in this Present Moment,always . Can you imagine what it is like to remain still and silent in the midst of a mental storm of daily life,for a day? Or for a week? Do you can imagine how is to use mind just when you need? 2. Now I can be in any body I want, I can practically feel what it is like to be in another body and have a different shape. I can be you, no matter how you look and who you think you are.I can feel through your body. I can take any form and feel what it is like to be any form. I am anything ,everything and nothing simultaneously. Now there is no difference between me and the others, because there is no "me" and no "the others". Here only One and Infinite Consciousness exists.They call that Omnipresence. They are permanent state of “mine”. But i am so aware about that ,even these high states cannot define me, because I am the Pure Being from whom nothing can be attached. I am in a state without any state. I am Nothingness . I just exist. I hope this example will motivate and keep you on the spiritual path to the end. However, all that I have written here is not real and ultimate true, you no need to believe me. Do your own research and then open it for the Ultimate Truth to fill you..This is a dream that is part of another bigger dream, which in turn is part of another biggest dream, and that goes on into an infinitely fractalic dream..Here exist only One and Absolute Reality ,and it cannot be expressed by any form of expression. IT JUST IS. Thank you everyone.?

With that said i ended up just using 3 tabs of LSD, i had a wonderfully confusing weird and epic trip. I believe i became conscious of how i create reality and my experience, but most of that stuff is too much for me to integrate currently. I was so out of it during the trip, i couldnt even understand what was going on around me. Things lost their context and became something new, it was very cool. I did some weird things too, but thats the name of the game. That would be wonderful to have a master to talk to. At this point, i think i just need to push myself a little. Im doing more meditation now but its a bit less formal. I used to move to a different seat to meditate, but i found that adding the extra step to move-brings about 10x more resistance than just staying put and meditating, so im having an easier time. But now i just need to find out what methods to use. I did a little bit of the neti neti method and will probably continue to throughout the day, and my friend showed me techniques of yoga such as pranayama and kriya supreme fire, but i havent done those as much. By the way, download whatsapp on ur phone and add the number i sent you over our DMs, well make a group chat w my friend :). Excited to make this group chat !

To go a little deeper, i mentioned i don't quite want to take all five tabs at once. This isnt just because im scared of a bad trip or im not ready for it, but the bigger part of why im resistant to that idea is because i want to save it to have for another day i case i think to myself “i wanna have a trip today.” But to me it almost sounds like im saving the tabs simply because im feeding into my brains neurotic tendencies to desire excessively. If thats the case, and it also turns out to be the case that im ready for a major breakthrough, why shouldn't i just take all 5 tabs? But with that said i dont really know that i am ready for it so ill have to wait on that decision. I think its really important that i figure out what i can handle without falling back into fear at the sight of something bigger than me and regressing, so how can i gauge that for myself? Also what else do you think i should do before a big trip? Any rituals i should consider? Any of leos videos i should watch before or during? Perhaps some methods like the neti neti method? Anything that you think will help me figure out how prepared i am or anything that will assist my trip in being more productive post here for me please, thank you its really appreciated .