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Ok, so basically you start listing things in your life, concepts really, that dominate your experience, and saying 'forget so and so...' So an example for me would be: Forget enlightenment. Forget awareness. Forget spirituality. Forget Leo. Forget Rupert Spira. Forget frustration. Forget regret. Forget eating. Forget wanting. Forget love. Forget God. Forget mum. Forget my brother. Forget family. It feels like you're purging concepts out of your system. It helps if you're feeling a bit frustrated with it all. It's almost like an act of letting go and seeing what you're left with, similar to Neti Neti meditation. Eventually you'll be labelling things that are coming into your mind. Like, forget obligation. I drifted off to sleep doing this and had a really profound dream about enlightenment. So you're reprogramming the subconscious mind too. Give it a go. I wanted to share as I found it really interesting and cathartic. I may choose a word that's a bit kinder than 'forget.' At the time I was fed up. I might be kinder to myself and say 'thank you' to those things instead, for making an appearance. Thank and you and farewell. Who knows. Forget works well though.

My job neither satisfies nor challenges me. I do it for the money. Yeah, that's a problem. I see. Atm I don't have the courage to quit, yet. Catch 22: When I'm tired and anxious after work and think about quitting and working somewhere else, I project my current anxiety into the future and think things like "I will never find another job and run out of money". Gotta figure out how to break that cycle. Because when I am free of depression and anxiety on weekends or holidays, I definitely know that I would easily find a better job or start a business. But I still lack the courage to do so. Yeah, pretty much. Helping people who suffer any disability to lead a life that makes them happy. Right. I know what you're talking about intellectually, but I have not yet had any insight or awakening experience to that matter. My ego is still firmly rooted in materialism and identifying with external things, pain and pleasure and the like. How do I do that? Atm during meditation I observe the pulsating impermanence of sensations, like the visual flickering or the auditory switching between loud and quiet (due to one of those books on Leo's list). Additionally, I sometimes "shoot aliens" - meaning I label sensations as fast as I can. I have not yet discovered who or what is actually aware of sensations. Maybe I should try Neti Neti? So you're saying I can just switch the story I'm telling myself around? Is it that simple? Granted, language is one concept I use in order to label the world around me and inside me. And I've long suspected that language is the most powerful tool to achieve/change/influence anyone or anything. But won't the ego defend itself against my simply altering its story? Will it not see through that? Anyways, I will try to just tell a different story to myself. Actually, I am very grateful for you sharing this. Thank you!

Well my friend. Yes, let's get real. Non-duality means not one, not two, not nothing, not form, not emptiness, not this, not that. Neti neti neti neti neti. When I write "God" , "Self" it is just how I feel it resonantes most with what I feel I am. I don't actually feel like a self with any desires. I don't know what I want. I don't know who I am. I can call it God / Self / Consciousness / Nothingness but all labels miss the actual point. The Godhead naturally cannot know itself. Just like teeth cannot bite itself. Like eyes can't see themselves. Like a hand can't hold itself. So I know that I don't know myself. I don't know what I want. I have faith that whatever happens is what I want. I trust the Universe and in that sense I'm just a wave in an infinite ocean being pushed by that. But I don't resist it. I have let go completely. And that is probably the best definition of enligthenment. A complete letting go. Another definition of the true nature of reality -- instead of "God" , "Self" -- could be that it is a musical thing. There exist no things. Only patterns. Only music. Only the dance. Reality is an infinitely complex musical happening with no beginning and no ending. I am that. I am music. <3 Yes, instead of saying I'm God or The Self I could as well say I'm the Spaghetti Monster and it would be just as true. I don't know what I am, and I'm fine with that. If you can be truly fine with that, truly rest in not-knowing, then you are free. Love <3 oh last thing "There is nothing left to adopt another concept of what I was, it was just recognized to be nothing, which was always the case." No, you are not nothing. You can't say what you are. As long as you believe yourself to be X or Y, i.e. "nothing", "God" , "emptiness", "Self", "Consciousnes" you are not there yet. I like saying I'm God and that everything is God. I'm just playing around: I'm fully aware that language can't grasp actual truth. :-) Language is a dualistic invention. A game God is playing =) Best of luck to you God.

Linguistic / symbolic pointers can be very helpful to those that have had a glimpse and for those that are clarifying, integrating and embodying. Analytical minds tend to focus on the words, rather than that which is pointed to. A rational path can be very laborious and time consuming. Similar to neti neti. One approach to take a back door into the fortress of an analytical mind is zen koans. Yet the problem here is that most intellectual minds don’t have the focus, discipline, perseverance or patience for this. . . . Another approach is a psychedelic. This will dissolve the analytical fortress and gives a good chance for a good look. Yet quite often, the mind will later contextualize as an ‘experience’ at its baseline conscious level dominated by rational thinking. Yet for most minds, there will now be cracks in the fortress which may allow pointers to enter. There are also nonduality speakers that are skilled with intellectual minds. Rupert Spira is very good at disarming the intellect and Roger Castillo is good at clearly communicating through the intellect.

@Preetom Yes, I've been doing this process of elimination/Neti Neti type of self-inquiry for months. It's becoming more and more clear that there is "something" prior and more fundamental than all perceptions.

I think it's just a matter of exposing yourself to the truth many many times at deeper and deeper levels each time to get it to stick. A few people have told me that it took them 3 years for "full awakening". I think, if you're practising powerful stuff like neti neti, kriya yoga and working towards at least 10 day 5meo retreats...it would take no more than 10 years. It would be a big mistake to think your gonna get it without the practices. I do an hour and a half of kriya yoga and self enquiry everyday. If, after a handful of 5meo retreats, ive made significant progress I'll consider the prospect of doing 2, 1 hour sits a day. Might try it over summer. Then aim towards the 30 day 5meo retreat, but I'm nowhere near there yet

Hello, most of my previous posts are nonsense as I was quite mentally ill at the time, possibly due to spirits entering my auric field and messing around with my mind. This one should hopefully make more sense. So, I have a lot of spare time both while I am at work and when I am at home. That is because my mind isn't really busy with anything and nothing seems to work in terms of practices for me right now, and not much reading. And also because I work in traffic control, holding a stop-slow bat and often standing around doing nothing while I wait for a car to stop. So both at work and at home I have time to do some mental practice of some sort. What kind of mental practices could I adopt while I am at work or at home in the direction of enlightenment? I have been using the neti neti method for a long time now without knowing it, but that is more of a lifestyle practice for me and not one I use in my mind in one short term session. I also don't feel to use the I am not this body then what am I question at work or at home it doesn't work for me. I have an interest in Jnana Yoga as I am always using my mind for the pursuit of enlightenment and not my body. Sorry if this is the same kind of post as Leo's list of Enlightenment exercises. I am just curious as to what kind of exercises I could practice at home and at work without getting distracted. And also I would highly appreciate if these exercises are of Hindu origin or Jnana Yoga or Yoga in general. Thanks

It's probably because you haven't had a true Self-realization experience yet. Its a non-experience actually, until the mind comes back and says "what the fuck was that?" Then, the mind claims it was an experience "in time", of course. I love the saying, "what's looking, is what you're looking for"....and its so true! I find that neti-neti Self inquiry seems to work the best. However, years ago while watching a video I had a major awakening and no matter what ever happens I'll never forget it, ever. Then, more sporadic awakenings through the years. Doesn't mean I'm not still attached to the mind, unfortunately that waxes and wanes. Depends on what you mean by die? The body does not need to die...but when Self-realization happens the mind is gone. The mind doesn't stay gone though, not for anyone, as thinking needs to happen during life. You just realize there isn't really a "thinker", just thoughts occurring. ?

@Meta-Man @bejapuskas wow. Lsa is much more natural feeling than lsd, a lot more clear headed and beautiful too. I did the neti neti method from leo and I became the infinite nothing field. Lsa visuals were unbelievable beautiful, and the warm fuzzy sensations in my body was amazing. I saw fractals and realized thing about myself I didn't know.

Hello mate, Yes, I have had the same on/off experience for years. I used to think it was related to my use of psychedelics - a few days, weeks or months after I dosed, I would feel great and like the world made sense. Then, before I knew it I was back to earth and stuck as myself and I didn't understand why. In many ways, it is related to psychs, because psychs give you that key insight. But what I missed at the time was the depth of the insight. It wasn't til I started to sit for way longer - practicing the "neti, neti" method and doing nothing for at least an hour a day - that I gained the confidence to stand as awareness all the time. At the time of writing I haven't slept for 48 hours, despite the fact that I tried. A few years ago I would panic and mope around desperately looking for somewhere to rest my head. But I'm not, because I know now beyond all doubt what the truth is. I feel it my heart and my bones. TLDR; Find a practice that gives you that key insight and drill the fuck out of it.

Even doing self-inquiry once can point in the right direction. You'll at least get closer to the truth even if you don't have an enlightenment experience. Just watch the Neti Neti video and follow along with the exercise. It will be so much more helpful than all of this theorizing. Theorize again after you try this lol.

You are the perceiver, and the perceived. You are just as much the screen in front of you as you are your body or the brain. This confusion is a great sign. Nobody on this forum can give you the answer to what you are. It cannot be communicated. We can only point you in the right direction. I highly suggest you try self-inquiry. You can start with Leo's Neti Neti technique video, and then "how to do self-inquiry".

March 7th Meditation and Spirituality Meditation: Do Nothing (30 minutes)- This went really well today. I am beginning to realize more and more that happiness is based on how well we allow the present moment just to be. Many times when I go about my day I am resisting the present moment and this creates dissatisfaction. By truly letting go and allowing the present to be no matter what, this meditation can prime me for the day. Also, I want to be sure the rest of the day is an extension of this meditation. This means to be present as much as I can and to fully allow what is. Spirituality: Neti Neti (60 minutes)- Today for my spirituality practice I did Leo's "Enlightenment Guided Inquiry" visualization, which is the "Neti Neti" method. I like to re-watch this video every so often to ensure everything that is experienced is being considered during the investigation of who I am. This video also helps me realize other "things" I may not be questioning when I do self-inquiry myself. Even though I don't mention it often, I do Kriya Yoga on a daily basis well as part of a spirituality practice. Health and Wellness Today I worked out for the first time since December. I would like to tone up a bit, so I've been doing weight training and plan to do so going forward. Because I don't enjoy the process of working out all that much, I would like to keep my exercise time to 30-40 minutes going forward. In regards to my nutrition, I did not have the healthiest day of eating. I am at my parent's house, so we had a lot of processed food. This will not be the case when I am back at my apartment. However, I want to concentrate on eating healthier on the two days that I am at my parent's house. I brought much of my healthier food home with me, so I can have some of that tomorrow. Weekly Goal: Work out both days this weekend (Saturday and Sunday). Social Confidence I am getting even closer to the end of my book. Next week, there are many practical steps and techniques I plan to take. These techniques involve gaining awareness of the sensations in my body when I feel anxious, being aware of what I say to myself in social interactions (internal voice/inner critic), and other exercises. Eventually, I will get to the next chapter, which is to take bold action. Taking bold action is the key step I've been missing in all of my failed attempts to overcome social anxiety. I do intend to bite the bullet and make a lasting change this time around. I was able to identify my top strengths and my purpose. This will help ground myself so I know how to express myself in front of people when the time comes. Weekly Goal: Say to myself over and over, "I am not responsible for other's feelings," and "What do I want in this situation?" Before interactions, come up with a purpose of what you want to get out of talking to another person. Do the exercises that require me to be aware of sensations in the body and how my inner voice is communicating.

This video isn't necessarily about Neo-Advaita, but more about 'Halfway' teachings, that only give half the story. This is commonly known as: The path of exclusion, Neti-Neti, The Void etc and is a remarkable breakthrough, and is often essential to take a step back from the world to realize ourself as Natural Pure Awareness, and our true being. But, many seem to end there, and think suddenly Life in terms of the world is just over. This is why Traditional Indian/ Eastern teachings always felt very unnatural to me, things like forced Cellibacy (can occur naturally, whole other conversation), the denial of life general just felt incomplete. You could call that the 'Inward' part of the path, which is ESSENTIAL as I said, but far from complete. The next 'step' so to speak, is to then go back out in the so called world, with this understanding of our true being, and live this understanding in life- Relationships, Work, Activities, Thoughts and Feelings. Anyone can be at peace alone in their room, that isn't that much of a true 'test' of an awakening, as Ram Dass (RIP <3) said- 'If you think you're enlightened, go and spend a week with your parents.' It's of course a joke but illustrates this point well. I feel many fall into this trap of demonizing the world, body etc and simply Crystalise here. Integrating and expressing this outward path is most commonly seen in the Tantric approach, where the World, Body and Mind are actually embraced instead of denied. It is also happening a lot more in the West as Westerners merge their love of the world, with this true understanding of their own being. Once you know your true being, the world is no longer something that needs to be denied or run from, it can instead be a vehicle and an expression of this true understanding is the most beautiful ways possible. It gives us complete freedom to express this understanding in all realms of experience, and is the final peace and joy that is meant for us. Non-Duality= Duality. I think this video is a great example of this, and explains this well. Rupert says it better than I ever could

Hello Forum ?? First post, I hope it’s readable. ? I’m currently reading “Who Am I? Meditation” by Ramaji, and the book introduced me to what Ramana Maharshi called the “Heart on the right”. He said that the “Heart” is where the I-thought will die and that this is done by dropping the I- thought back down into the Heart each time it escapes home. After I’ve been doing the following practices on a consistent basis since December last year; • Mindfulness meditation with labeling + concentration practice, • Neti Neti Meditation, • and Kriya Yoga preparatory exercises, first small improvements to my ability to rest in this thoughtless state have been noticeable. As well as stimulating my third eye for the first time and experiencing some tingling on top of the head. Anyways. For three days now, I’ve been experiencing some sort of pain on the right side of my chest. I’m physically active and eat healthy and would be very surprised if it was caused by a physical condition. That’s why I’m posting on this part of the forum. I was wondering if anyone could help me figure out if what I’m experiencing is what Ramana Maharshi called the “Heart”. I would love to hear about your experiences with the “Heart”. I’m quite confused. ?

The trouble with “This” is that it is a word you learned so it’s keeping the cognition of the mind active inherently by proposing it. You’d have to realize it’s a word. “It’s This” is great for the already realized to recommend...but then of course, it simultaneously reveals a “lack of full realization” in it’s very usage, a “half baked enlightenment”, if you will, which of course, is it’s perfection. The second “problem”, is that when people simple say “It’s This”, they know what they really mean is, “It’s Me”. Add “no self” in there, and the listener may be adding decades to their path. The anti-thesis, or anti-usage works in exactly the same manor (it’s inherently dualistically divisive). One is referencing “This”, to, you, knowing you are attached to the word, “This” (and the world) and therefore it would not be helpful to say “It’s Me” - to you, so they say, “It’s This”. It’s sort of like answering with “Fuck You” (without the “there’s no you”). Then, in your triggeredness, which is immediately followed by the realization they haven’t actually said anything that could justify triggering you...you’re left in a contemplative (and not knowing) state. Which again, is perfect. If you’re going to attempt the rare “counter” “outer world” awakening, at least use neti neti. Or practice meditation until your mind is calm enough to practice self inquiry properly (without attachment). Ya might realize, and therefore not even need self inquiry. Every One’s untangling is unique (because it isn’t, sorry, lol) Or cut all the shit by inspecting thoughts on paper. Or don’t. (Sorry..this is just an expression of the counter for your benefit, and not) Maybe instead, write that question down, and question if “paper” is a thought, or a thing. Then, if “thing” is a thought, or that. Then forget the question because it’s inconsequential. Instead, question the “me” in your question, that you wrote...which you are looking right at.

? He was having a tough go at it, this is true, but I also think it was fate that he was meant for that job. He started dating that managers daughter who he dated for 5 years and now I have a grandson, because of it. He would've found something. It just would've taken more time. We have to get you thinking positive, despite the negativity happening. Remember, I quit a job and went through thousands of my savings....before getting another. Got it! I'll help you with it! Well, for now, it is what it is, try not to feel badly , it's just going to make things worse right now. I would do anything for my son and I'm sure your parents feel the same for you. There are many, many neti-neti vids, but figured since we are on Actualized.org I'd post Leo's. Gotcha, well then, the situational aspect can make the chemical imbalance worse. Be conscious of that. In that sense, counseling can help counteract it. If you have health insurance for it? Otherwise, positive thinking can do the same. I've had many ups and downs in this career of mine for the past 13 years. I've regretted my career many times, but I'm just too damn old to start over and to damn stubborn to make less $$ then I am now. So, I keep plugging away. Some days are better then others and today was a bad day.

That's okay. I appreciate all responses you have given me. Well then he got lucky. I mean if you didn't know someone like that manager, then what would you have done to ensure that your son would be able to secure some kind of job? What if I never get into the right place and right time? I actually didn't PM you anything yet. I will sent it today. I just got so pre-occupied with other things going on in my life. That's for the time being, but my parents are both already over the age of 70 and I don't know how much longer they are going to live, let alone be able to continue to support me. I also feel so guilty for continuing to be such a burden to them while they don't get to enjoy the end of their lives being happily retired. I don't know what neti-neti meditation/inquiry is. Though I have been meditating frequently, if not almost everyday since the beginning of last September of 2019. My depression is a combination of both situational and a chemical imbalance.

I read your post yesterday. I'm sorry I didn't reply. I forgot, to be honest. That's great news that they offered you a job! I understand your not a morning person (me either). You'll have to decide if you want to try or not. I guess it depends how scarce jobs are were you live. I mean, if others are having a hard time too, because of supply and demand. I remember when my son was applying for his first job when he was 16. I kept saying what is the problem? Why is no one calling you? He finally yelled at me and said, "I've been telling you...there's too many ppl looking for a job and I have no experience!!!!". Anyways, we finally helped him get a job at a car dealer as a porter, because we knew the manager, so he gave him a shot. Yes and no, I had worked there twice before years ago, so they knew I did good work and my documentation skills are darn good. So, it was right time, right place, really. But, yes, they still offered it to me, without me asking, which was still surprising. I didn't get a PM from you. Are you having trouble sending it? I will have more time to review it on thursday night, if you can get it to me by then? I know you'd rather be independent, but at least you have them to lean on for now. They won't let you be homeless at least, which was one of your worries. It's not worth it. I'm a suicide survivor and I'm telling you that thought can cause loads of suffering, but you aren't your thoughts. You need to learn to create a gap between you and thought. Have you ever done neti-neti meditation/inquiry. If done right, you see you can't be what you perceive and you can have a break through. It seems your depression is situational, not because you have a mental illness, right? Maybe you could benefit from a bit of counseling ? ❤

I'll get pushbacks for this, but to me, they say this because they only have partial awakenings, they're definitely awakened and have had awakenings but tend to get stuck at the whole 'No-Self' rap, however, they help a lot of people and that's what matters most. To me, you could say these guys are the League 2 of Spiritual Teachers, and teachers like Francis Lucille, Rupert Spira, Adyashanti, Ramana Maharshi and Nisgardatta Maharaj are the Premier League. Shit analogy but can't think of a better one really. The funny thing is if they actually truly practiced Self-Inquiry they'd realize No-Self is simply not the final answer, and is in fact the I-Thought clinging onto a new Identity that very subtly rejects 'Duality.' 'There is nobody there, nothing to do' is a great teacher in certain situations and for certain people, but when used as a blanket message is hugely reductionist. That said seeing through the illusion of self is a HUGE step on the path, and one many won't take, and as I said IS a genuine awakening but stopping here is like running in an 800M race and deciding the finish line is only after 200M. Basically your selling yourself short. Once you start to teach, you also rarely develop further and 'crystalize' (Leo seems a rare exception but he's not exactly a full time touring speaker and is more focused on his own growth) Like I said all teachers are amazing in that they are trying to help people awaken and that is beautiful. But, this doesn't mean all teachers are created equal, although saying someone has had a deeper awakening is like a crime in some circles of Non-Duality. Also, saying practices aren't worthwhile is reductionist. In some cases people may benefit from dropping certain practices, as Practices in a Non-Dual sense are meant to take you into the silence and experience the truth for yourself. (Ramana literally invented Self-Inquiry for this purpose) But, practices can have other benefits for people- Meditation/ Breathwork can help with sleep, anxiety, healing etc, much of this isn't necessarily related to Non-Duality but clearly practices benefit many people. Then you also have the issue of past lives, (if you believe in past lives/ karma) you could look into these guys past lives and see decades or lifetime of spiritual practices for example to prepare them for awakening, and most would have done some form in this lifetime, they may not benefit them now but that doesn't mean they never have. For example, those who had spontaneous awakenings could have had lifetimes of practice e.g. Ramana and Eckhart Tolle, or they're just super lucky. Practices may not benefit everyone, but benefit many and help many realize the True nature of reality. Neo-Advaita is actually quite dangerous imo, when embodied as a belief system it can be very toxic and confusing, they are talking from a place of understanding but their listeners are unlikely to actually get it experientially so may go home and tell their children 'There's nobody here to take care of you anymore' etc, extreme example but we have to be careful of the ramifications these things can have. Many more developed teachers have written on the modern issue of Neo-Advaita, so I'll link some articles below. All I'll say is take what you can from these teachers, but don't become dogmatic about the message, they never really talk about Love, The Absolute, The Self etc and to me miss many facets of awakening. Also, suggesting no work needs to be done is incredibly appealing right? What would you rather do, be told there's no work to do, or actually put in the effort to grow yourself and work on your shadow. Even if there is a spontaneous awakening, there is still embodiment and shadow work to be done, which these teachers forever miss out on. The neglection of teachers like Adya and Rupert could be as realizing deeper truths would involve deep inquiry and put their current livelihoods at risk, we have to remember awakened beings aren't always free of self-bias. I personally went through this crisis as was an Eckhart Tolle addict, and realizing his teachings weren't the be-all and end all was hard for my 17 year old self to take! You could say they are at the Neti, Neti Stage (Not This, No Self, Nobody here) but have failed to embrace the path of Inclusion in that I am everything, I am love, I am The Absolute, which is a much more complete teaching. This is it, as it is right now, but not in the Neo-Advaita use of the word. I used to love Rupert Spira and read most of his books and posts, he for one wrote on this subject: https://non-duality.rupertspira.com/read/suicide_and_awakened_behaviour230 https://non-duality.rupertspira.com/watch/suffering-and-neo-advaita

I understand what you mean. "Positive" in the conventional meaning is indeed a feeling. By "positive description" I meant a description that adds concreteness to the subject. For example, this is a progression of positive descriptions (concretizations) in the sense of the word that I intended: This. This is a human. This is a human with one arm and two legs. He is a human with one arm and two legs. Joshua has one arm and two legs. Joshua is a Saudi Arabian carpenter. He lost his arm in an accident. Each of the above descriptions is progressively more "positive" in the sense that it further constrains the imagination and contains the previous sentences. It is a "positive" description as opposed to "negative" description which is neti-neti (not this, not that). In my book, that is a judgement of silence and the most subtle of the three types that I presented in the original progression: I classify concretization ("positive" description) as judgement because it creates meaning by constraining imagination. ________________________________ I understand that and agree. The mind, understood as heart~>intellect pair is directed. The flow of energy is from heart to intellect. This energy, the "~>", that flows between the two is "feeling". Through intellect, feeling bursts into thoughts that are "flavored" in various ways. Some of them are judgmental in your sense of the word. Preferences in this context are the seeds of feelings that reside in our hearts. They are what gives us our individuality, as Love pours through each of us. By aligning our thoughts we have the opportunity to purify our minds of preferences that make us miserable. It really sounds like Karma Yoga to me. I classify preferences as judgement because they constrain Love in its purest form to our specific, individual, expressions of it. In essence, we are self-aware prisms of Love. That is Good. ________________________________ I recognize this to be similar to what Byron Katie is teaching. I always found her style to be confusing, perhaps because I tend to be focused intellectually. Are there any practices to increase my awareness of feelings? Meditation perhaps? Throughout the day I'm very mindful to be present to my body and heart. Unfortunately, I have difficulties recognizing uncomfortable feelings and expressing them in terms of thoughts, making them a conscious part of experience. I also have difficulties with consistency of practices - I tend to leave them when I feel like I don't need them. Inevitably, things go downhill and I pick myself up from there. I would absolutely love to do that. The problem is that I don't know what I want other than peace for the moment. My dreams are so wild that I don't even want to say them out loud. ________________________________ I will address the rest of your reply later today. Thank you for your effort @Nahm.

@Mircan I've really been on mine lately, and I've made a lot of progress and have learned more than I can say here: Thought: 1. I learned that I need to be persistent 2. A good book for the work we are doing by opening our hearts is Michael Singer - Untethered Soul 3. I really like Leo's video on Self Love 4. I often put my hand on my heart and say " I love you" or "I forgive you" to myself. Especially during meditation, or just when I notice negative chatter I put my hand on my hear and tell myself "I love you" 5. noticing and working on things like: Transference, envy, neediness, 6. Expect to make mistakes 7. Be radically open 8. I listened to a really good guided meditation in the App Fabulous that helped a lot 9. Letting go Letting go Letting go 10. Neti Neti 11. Gratitude exercise 12. A visualization/ meditation created by Vishen Lakhiani called 'The 6 Phase' I am still learning. There is so much work to do. But, I can honestly say its pretty amazing how much we can grow when we persist. Anyway all I can say for now.

@Johnny5 Well that's the problem with truth and the absolute. In no way can it be rationally talked about or speculated, and never will be - direct experience is the only thing that accounts. As the four In-Expressibles go: "You can't say that ultimate reality is being or not-being, or both or neither; That reality is infinite, or not, nor both nor neither. Because you assume a concept is true only as the opposite of something that it's not; ultimate reality has no opposite. 100% Neti-Neti, not this not that.

NONDUAL Transcendence of THE BODY Hi guys, here’s Silviu the ego and he has an amazing message for you, and I am that I am also here So, this is my 3rd major trip on LSD, and I’ve started taking LSD since January 2020. First dose 2250mcg. Second dose 2500mcg 4 days from writing this. Now 2500mcg again. (Then, about 10 hours about the first dosage, I took 2500mcg again) I guess that some 5MEO might help to deconstruct the ego energy in a more efficient way, after. ----------- So, today I went to visit a friend. And I told her how much LSD took and how it killed the monkey mind, in the way now I can meditate. And she told me to stop because she’s been on that road and you want to have a foot in the dual world and the LSD can influence the egoic energy for 6 months (or 6 years - can’t recall properly) So, I came straight home and took 2500mcg. Then I went to the park and started tripping balls. Then I, The Great Self became aware that I am. I work as a Deliveroo (aka UberEats). So I and Silviu went to work 2-3 hours later after taking 2500 mcg. Tools If you want to go this nondual path of taking that much LSD... J.S. Bach in order to stop hallucinations or other classical music (idea somehow originated from Alan Watts “it feels rather like sex when listening to Bach”> But I believe it works also with other kinds of music Need an understanding of Cosmology and the web of connection so the ego can understand the transcendence. In order for that listen to some Alan Watts audiobooks. I believe that Shinzen Young also has good resources on Youtube. Extreme Neti Neti (I the ego barely feel pain anymore and. Pain it’s just an illusion. Eg. Today I was riding uphill and didn’t feel the pain. Nor the need to breathe differently than normal. Just go Uphill. Been on the bike for 6 hours or so and didn’t even need water. The ego said it needed, but I observed him. The same observation above - the uphill part. Watch Matrix again. It helps to identify the ego. Silviu and I believe genuinely that the movie is rather a precise manual for transcendence. And if you must confront the Architect of your ego and of the Cosmic Ego. Lucy, the movie, might help, but Silviu and I believe it’s not necessarily a map, or manual, like Matrix, is. AND I’d also recommend all the books in Leo’s list on enlightenment and meditation… Basically the rule of thumb is THE MORE THE BETTER, but the books are only maps NOT the territory. Entheogenic Liberation: Unraveling the Enigma of Nonduality with 5-MeO-DMT Energetic Therapy Used it as a tool in order to identify what the Ego does. It’s a MANUAL. Silviu and I say Thank you. Martin Ball and Thank you. Silviu seems to be happy that he found he is an Ego and the Great Self at the same time. PS. LSD seems to act as an interesting substance which can deconstruct the ego on the long term THE BIG PS. LSD alone without knowledge and meditation training won’t be enough. I’ve been experienced but I’ve read reports of people having a whiteout for days from so big dosage. I’d advise taking 50% more each week if on the last trip you didn’t have a whiteout. But Silviu advises caution. IT WORKS BETTER IN NATURE, Silviu believes. LSD vs 5MEO Difference Toxicity LSD, Just in case you won’t take 100,000 at once won’t kill, but such dosage might put you in hospital for weeks. 5MEO I’ve read it’s dangerous in over 60mg. 5MEO 5MEO acts like a fucking strong INSTANT ego energy identifier and dissolver. MEO impacts NOW the ego. It is like an atomic bomb over the ego. After all, it’s the strongest psychedelic. But really big doses can be lethal, from what I’ve read. LSD LSD is a soft and persistent style. I’d like to assume as a fact that LSD also operates in the longer term over the psyche ego energy. The more LSD you take on a relatively closed period (6 months or so) the more it can help to deconstruct the ego. But deconstruction of the ego is not enough if you want to transcend it. You must also reconstruct it and accept it and be both the Great Self and Your Ego. In other words, you have to become aware as an ego of the Maya Illusion and you have to merge that ego with the awareness of the True Face. Warning: Do not take twice the same day big doses of LSD. It can impair and shake the Ego too much and can create too much discomfort. I’ve just done it and seems to be overwhelming for an ego. It takes patience for purification. Updates on the Experience Silviu I have done over 100 fast push-ups. Never have done so many in my life Silviu and I have also done 2 push-ups in one hand using only 2 fingers. Silviu and I have done a couple of push-ups in one hand only using one finger. Try to fix my myopia which is about -5. I can see the results. But the problem is that Silviu and I try to fix something which has never been broken, still. But Silviu and I believe that we can go beyond that and see crystal clear both with glasses and without. Silviu and I can control the pure energy better and better. It’s closely related with the synchronicity and the balance of the movement. Silviu and I feel like Doctor Strange and Neo from Matrix and like Lucy. It’s interesting. Silviu and I have decided to go 41 days for fasting without water and food while going to work. Insight on Matrix, the movie The matrix refers to the Illusion of Maya The Neo is the One. And in order to realize he is The One, he must first die. If you look in Sufism, the ultimate stage of enlightenment is called fana-fila which translates to die before to die. Neo comes from the same letter as the One. It’s just the Illusion. It is different. See this Koan. Two monks were arguing about the temple flag waving in the wind. One said, “The flag moves.” The other said, “The wind moves.” They argued back and forth but could not agree. Hui-Neng, the sixth patriarch, said: “Gentlemen! It is not the flag that moves. It is not the wind that moves. It is your mind that moves.”The two monks were struck with awe. This thing is also underlined in the scene when the Shaolin kid bends the spoon with his mind. The Oracle, she’s like a zen master, the Roshi. She has the typical behaviour of a Zen Master. And like a Zen Master, she never really makes sense. She’s rather speaking in koans. The Agent is the ego. And the ego at one point has taken control of the entire population. So, think of the ego as stages of consciousness development, a holon. The greater the Ego, the better good it can do. And every single ego has its own limitations. The Great Self implies The Minor Ego. The Great Self implies The Limited Ego. So, in that regard, the agent is a very egoistic Ego, somehow in perfect opposition with the great Self. It screams ME! ME! ME! Everywhere. And the ego wants to maintain homeostasis. Every single time while writing this my optical vision gets better and better, and with each improvement, I can see the psyche energy of the ego dissolving. And feel like it doesn’t want to dissolve. I and Silviu plan to watch The Matrix again, and we’ll come with new insights. Trinity is the symbol of love and of unification of The Son (Neo) with The Great Self (Trinity) and Maya or what changes (Morpheus in Latin means that change form). As Jesus said: I am The Father (The Great Self), The Son (The Ego) and The Spirit (The Maya). And what creates the Nonduality is LOVE. Unlimited, unconditional LOVE for anything that is. You can also find the Hindu Trinity. Hinduism believes in a trinity of gods: Brahma (the creator - The Great Self - The One), Vishnu (the preserver - The Maya - that which wants to maintain homeostasis - Morpheus), and Shiva (the destroyer - The Ego . That from which the “devil” comes from ). Brahma is the god of wisdom and it is believed that the four Vedas are delivered from each of his four heads. You can think of it as the Nondual, The Wisdom of LOVE. When I’m on LSD It feels like I’m uploading new programs in MY consciousness. Dozer is the character who gives Neo the program, “Dozer” is a reference to a psychedelic entheogen. Like taking a dose or a hit. Check out this GUY. He’s taking 40g of dried mushrooms in this regard. - LINK Cypher is Jude. Both Juda and Cypher are driven by some stupid shit, stupidly egoistic. They both sell the One for something that has no meaning, for an illusion. Money, for example, is just of an illusion of wealth. The real wealth is what you can buy with it. Jude sells Jesus for 30 silvers and Cypher sells Neo for a fucking good life in the matrix, which is just an illusion of real life. They seem to have no will of their Great Own but rather driven by the Ego. Cypher I’ve found that also has the meaning of a person of no importance, especially one who does the bidding of others and seems to have no will of their own. But WE must not judge his action, because judging is something that the ego does by his own. And if judgement comes, the enlightened person treats it with compassion. Judah in Hebrew means give thanks, praise. Jesus means in Hebrew "to deliver; to rescue." Neo was also THE One who came to rescue Zion. Zion means 1. the hill of Jerusalem on which the city of David was built. 2.(in Christian thought) the heavenly city or kingdom of heaven. New Updates: I’ve done some Shaolin fight movements. I’ve never done anything like this in my whole life. It seems to be a perfect balance and symmetry Like Martin Ball does in his movements when he does the embodiment. And also Silviu and I play with energy. It’s amazing! I’ve done other 100+ push-ups after the 10h after I took my last LSD. It seems that the only thing that stops me from doing more is egoic energy. Ego is such a bitch in his will to maintain homeostasis NEWER UPDATES The Nondual state lasted for about 12 hours or so. I've noticed that outside my house, while on the bike and delivering food, it was way easier to maintain the nondual state. But once I arrived in front of the house I could feel how the ego was pushing to take control. I could feel the egoic energy on my face. I required very focused attention in order to keep maintain the nondual state while in my room. Next day I had a very powerful ego backlash... OMG. I had to observe and “catch” every single thought that the ego would try to bombard my mind with. It just wouldn’t stop thinking - Fucking Ego Bastard :)) But the day after, when I’m writing this, it seems that he’s kind of taken a break and left my mind in restful silence. I’ve searched more on the Matrix movie. I was kind of disappointed to see that my insights on the movie weren’t that new, as there’s already known that the movie is influenced by things from Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism ( and African culture if I remember well). But anyway, it was interesting to have all those insights without knowing that they existed before. My myopia is also getting better Three Days later since the experience - This morning I’ve been able to do 115 push-ups. Seems to be a mental thing rather than a muscle power thing, 3 day later… well… the world still looks a little trippy.

Earlier this month I had my second mystical experience. I was watching Leo's guided Neti Neti meditation, and right when he says "you are this infinite nothing", I became this nothingness and realized that the self is an illusion. Although I was nothing, I was everywhere. This was very shocking to me, so it only lasted a few seconds, but in these few seconds I was bombarded with insights, understandings like "ooooooh so this is what teachers meant by nothing and everything; this is why it's incommunicable". But like in the 3rd Ox-Herding picture, I'm not sure if what I had was an enlightenment experience. Although I was this infinite nothing, I didn't identify with all of experience, but simply knew I was the observer and creator of experience. My thoughts are that I experienced a separation between experience and pure consciousness, but I'm not sure if this can be called an enlightenment experience or if it's just an ego death. Is an enlightenment experience and ego death the same thing? Did I see the ox? Did I not? I'm asking myself these questions and would like to hear some opinions that could aid my understanding.