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About Spiral

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    Common Chimp

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  1. I don't know for me it feels like most people that I meet are like this, we are all in your early 20's, student parties and weed-smoking is the norm around here. A lot of the times people aren't even aware that they are hurtful, or they don't think before they speak. Now I wish I could say that looks don't matter to me, but that's not the case. I'm not attracted to most people in general, adding character traits just makes it more complicated. Perhaps I'm spoiled. But it not like I focus on peoples flaws, I just don't feel any attraction towards them. One think I do judge are people like this(googled it): This is really unappealing to me, yet I can imagine "normal" guys won't care.
  2. Well for instance if I meet a girl and after a while I find out she is smoking tobacco/weed regularly.(I don't at all) If my intention is simply friendship i'll think: "oh well that's unfortunate but, it not a big deal, it won't not hurt our friendship" But if it a potential partner I would think "That kind of behavior is not what i'm look for in a girlfriend, not to mention all the health issues". Now let's say she is rude to other people(not me), even when unprovoked. i'll be like: "I don't like that and it's really unattractive but I suppose it could work anyway" If someone does not respect my time by constantly being late or taking days to respond to a simple text, I also tend to get annoyed. Girls who make fun at others expense or have drinking problems are out. Every girls I've found attractive within the last 3 years have all had at least had one of the mentioned character traits or been taken. My ex did not, but never fell in love with her. I got "anxious" when we broke up. Not really sad but had a difficulty sitting still for ~ two weeks.
  3. I've had this problem for quite some time now. The problem: I meet new people, make friends with them, both of us open up and have a lot of fun together. But at some point we run out of things to talk about. We have already talked about the our past, our problems and our plans for the future. We have talked the about romantic/sexual interests we have and a large variety of other topics that both interests us. But then what? Now it's like we can only talk about things that happen today or "plans for the weekend" so we end up talking less, hanging out less and eventually stop completely. I have a strong habit of just talking one on one when I am with a friend of mine, not really doing anything. I mean we could go out parting but if we do, we mostly just walk there and go back together, at the party we talk to new/other people. This could be the problem but shouldn't it not happen to everyone at some point then? For me this often happen in less than a month. What's going on here, where do I mess up?
  4. I'm very ...let's call it polarised, I almost never get in the mood. It does not matter how good looking she is. So some girls get hurtit's strange I find the them attractive but when I don't really want to sleep with them. If I don't really want to it's not gonna work. I get in the mood maybe twice a month. Girlfriend are easier, but not flawless. On the other hand if I do get in the mood, it's won't go away for hours on end. It's quite inconvenient, sex helps but less than you would expect.
  5. Work out, go to bed the same time every night, don't view screens 30 min before bed.
  6. Me when I do noFap and is single: First 3 days is the same. Day 4 I started to get anxious, I don't like the feeling so I just get laid(because that's not cheating right?). That's not sustainable so I relapse. In other words I can't do noFap if I'm single. Does the anxious part go away?
  7. @Alexo45 Well I do still socialize but it's getting harder especially with all the growth I've had. I never find anyone I really feel like I have something in common with. Now I would not stop hanging out completely, but to be honest spending time with other people is kinda a waste of time. Romantic partners have some potential I guess. In one evening of partying you can achieve a lot of things especially if you can include the morning after. Sure it can be fun but there is no real benefit long term.
  8. Learn some tantra, practice it with her. Practical things is clear to the untrained eye. She will see the potential.
  9. Please do not have too much faith in horoscopes, it's not not necessary lies. But don't believe in them blindly.
  10. Make sure you to give the impression, that you care and take care of yourself. This is a very important part. But be careful not to over do it as you'll look insecure if you do. In other words make sure you get your (facial) hair all nice and clothes in order first, but don't overdo things like perfume etc. It's (almost) always better to be clear about what you want out of the conversation. You can start by just wanting a good time talking to someone new, for instance. I don't mean you should tell them though, but try to make it clear non verbally.
  11. Don't get laid in the snow man, it's not worth it. Feels like a good idea, with the snow being soft and all that, but naw fuck that.
  12. There is, you won't feel anything if you go past it. You crack at some point. Like if you have a urine way infection as a guy, you're likely to get numb for a while. At least I do.
  13. Well I do it to make sure I spend time with people that add to my life. You going to be the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with and all that. I don't want to spend time on people who I know won't make great friends or people who's priorities in life are completely different. So if someone in my eyes has drinking problems and finds sex to be the most important thing in the world, I'm not that into being in a relationship with them because of that. It's not like I can change them anyway, so I try to find someone else.
  14. For me at least at first felt amazing, I could do things again other then spend the whole day in bed crying and shaking. No fear, No sadness, nothing bad at all. I felt confident like crazy in every aspect of my life. My life improved in many ways, socialy, with girls, academically. As per judgements I don't know I don't have any negative view on guys that are really emotional, now some people I do find bit too emotional regardless of gender but don't think they are like that out of good mental health. Never been hurt by a girl, I know that it's possible but don't have any fear of it happening to me,I do prefer long term relationships over shortterm ones despite the lack of feelings. Now I do make plenty of judgements in general but not regarding relationships. Could it be that I judge a girl that actually could make a decent partner but I don't feel anything because of the judgements I've made? I mean I will always find something about people I don't like about them.
  15. Well I was ridiculously depressed, like really really bad. It was basely crippling depression. But one day I "cracked" and now I don't really feel much anymore. I do get bored, can't remember the last time was fearful but I do believe I can be (or simply be worried?). Anger no, not anymore(but that's a good thing). Arousal i'm not sure what you mean by that, if you mean able to to enjoy sex than yes absolutely. How do I become open, sensitive, and vulnerable? I do share hardships and problems I've had in the past with the people in my life, don't really have any insecurities. i'm sightly worried I won't find anyone to share my life with romantically because of my inability to feel anything for them. I also don't feel remorse which is a bit messed up but, I do feel empathy at least so i'm not just gonna be mean to people. Morally I relay on principals rather then morals. So for instance: I would not want to cheat on a partner, not because they would get hurt or because it is "inherently wrong" to cheat, but because I don't want to be the type of person that cheats.