doing vs being
It's all meaningless so why should I do anything?The "point" is simply to be and experience each moment fully. But you are still stuck in the ego veil, so a lot of limiting survival neurotic nonsense is mixing in and making a mess in your mind.
Existence is a gallery, and in comparison to human art like paintings that can just be enjoyed visually, each moment is an artwork that can be experienced and enjoyed from every angle, sense, intensity, dimension, level of positive/negative, and the "meaning of life" is simply to experience and savour this artwork fully, whatever there is you end up doing, there is no morality or anything you "should rather do". Right here we are limited in a physical human form, but that gives us the opportunity to experience this artwork in this exact unique way, and create "limited art" based on suffering/pleasure and other dualities, which is not possible in other parts of creation with other rules.
However, you could say that indirectly this means that a good plan or goal to pursue, is to synchronize mind/body/consciousness and develop your ability to savour each moment more intensely, up to 100%, where reaching 100% presence/awareness/mindfulness is what many cultures has labeled "enlightenment". This could mean something as big as going to college and mastering a whole field, because you want to see the artwork of the experiences that degree unlock.
But there is really nothing you rather should do or rather be, let go of all the morality of Blue, expectations of Orange and rules of everyone else. Whatever you do, you'll just end up creating the unique artwork that is your life which will be placed in the gallery of existence for creation to enjoy. Become an eccentric artist and paint/write/compose 20 hours a day, or have children and watch life grow nourished by your love, or become an average Joe that barbecue and play video games with your friends every weekend. You are free to do whatever, and once you surrender to it all, you will naturally just flow, create, play, dance. Surrender does not mean "giving up" or "stop living", when you are able to, it will be like coming home and the realization will be the most obvious thing you've ever "seen".
Just be aware that the more seriously you take your thoughts and identify with the ego, which is really just a tool, the more you choose suffering, confusion an delusion, which is basically everything everyone is trying to get away from
LP and discipline
Pushing yourself vs. Flowing with life@Identity If getting out of your comfort zone is feeling emotionally hard, you may be doing something that is not alligned with your life purpose.
When we're engaged in activities that are connected to our life purpose, discipline and hard work feel very natural and spontaneous. If I'm careless, I can easily spend too much time on my projects and even forget to drink water and eat properly. That's how natural it should feel: unplugging from hard work requires extra awareness.
logic vs non logic
Is Logic True?Firstly, scientific models are NOT based on formal logic. Again, "formal logic" is a loaded word. There are an infinite number of different formal logics. So which one are you gonna base your scientific model on? They all contradict each other. You must do empirical research to determine whether your logic squares with reality. Often times it won't!
In quantum mechanics particles do not follow Aristotelian binary logic. So physics has long ago debunked the naive notion that reality follows binary logic.
The question of What is science? and How come science works? is a very tricky one. It takes decades of study and contemplation to understand it.
In short, scientific models contain very partial and limited relative truths. They are true only under very very narrow circumstances and contexts. Just because some aspects of reality are predictable does not mean that reality is logical. In fact it tends to work the other way around: Whatever humans call "logical" is however reality happens to behave in contexts which are relevant to humans. For example, if chairs had a habit of turning spontaneously into cats whenever you sat on them, your mind would grow accustomed to that behavior and call it "logical".
In practice, what you call "logical" is just whatever reality happens to do around you. If everyone you knew walked around naked on the street, you'd eventually start calling that logical. Because in fact it is impossible to distinguish between logical and illogical things. That is a matter of relative perspective. What's logical to me is not logical to you, and vice versa. Or to put it another way, YOU are the sole arbiter of what counts as logical. Whatever you insist is logical, becomes logical (for you). Whatever you insist is illogical becomes illogical (for you). Logic has no normative power. So if someone wants to be "illogical", they are free to do so and no amount of reasoning, argumentation, or evidence will convince them otherwise. Because they are only "illogical" relative to your judgment of them. They are not illogical in any absolute sense.
There actually exists no standard to determine what counts as logical. It must be this way because reality is nondual and empty/groundless. Anyone who tries to ground reality in logic will fail. This was rigorously demonstrated back in the early 20th century. Logical positivism and the attempt to formalize reality with a finite system of symbols failed spectacularly. As it should have. Reality is not quantifiable or formalizable.
There is no Love in the Quran; My response to Leo saying Muhammad was enlightened!!
There is no Love in the Quran; My response to Leo saying Muhammad was enlightened!!The pattern I notice on this forum is the biggest thing that would help people is simply contemplating foundational questions that govern your existence. A lot of noise would be removed and you’d be automatically reconfiguring beliefs that hold you back because you’ve approached them at a core level so they’re indirectly corrected by consciousness the wider and deeper the contemplation.
the grass is always greener on the other side
Should Passion Really Be The Focus?The grass is always greener on the other side. When you commit to something there will always be doubts and downsides. There is no 'perfect' and 'flawless' life, life is perfect with all its flaws. There has never been a person in history who felt passionate and excited about what he or she was doing 24/7. It's about committing to something and sticking with it. There is never ever going to be something which is perfectly tailor made to you, there will always be wiggle room to other things. Other things will always be luring you from your goals.
If there would be such a thing which would be tailor made to you there could never be any change or progress in the world. The world needs a certain type of inner and outer conflict to progress. Embrace the conflict and dive deep into life, it's the only path to happiness.
Emotional Healing/shadow Work - The How To Guide
Emotional Healing/shadow Work - The How To Guide@Max_V As well as, mindfulness is wonderful, but in loving yourself mindfulness is effortless.
Another way you can look at it as well, is that being mindful is itself an act of love.
The wilingness to be with your self-blame and negativity is the willingness to love.
So what if love isnt the opposite of self-blame, but love is the willingness to accompany your self-blaming tendencies and give them loving attention, no matter how you act, think or feel.
And what if the one beating himself up is merely another one begging to be loved, and this is his way of getting your attention.
Emotional Healing/shadow Work - The How To GuideIt seems like I cannot edit the post anymore, if a moderator sees this, could you add the following text into the original post? Thanks <3
Affirmations and how to use them!
Affirmations are a great tool. However in my opinion quite misunderstood.
Focus on the feeling state of your body/mind whilst doing the affirmation rather than the words themselvs.
In the end, language is just a construct. A summ of sounds. Language itself has no power, just like thought doesn't have any power within of it self. It is the emotion or the energy behind it. Words signify certain qualities to us, for everyone something else.
Affirmation I am worthy can have the absolutely same effect as an affirmation of I am a blue dolphin from potato land.
It is the quality of your emotional state that the affirmation represents that is important.
So go nuts! Get creative, say beautiful things to yourself that make your soul smile!
Just for inspiration I'll give you my favourites.
I am light. I am love. I am infinite. I am divine. I am beyond foreverness and after endlessness. I am!
Situations when to use them?
Again get creative.
As a reminder in the morning. In stressful situations. While going through catharsis. When feeling under the weather. and whenever you find fit.
- number of repetitions or intensity is solely up to you. Again follow the principle of what feels good in the moment.
Using your imagination
This is my favorite part. Healing your inner child through imagination. This is where you can go nuts and fucking sky is the limit. This is the fun shit!
And a very very easy principle so listen up.
Every time you manage to tune into your inner child to feel some of its emotional needs, visualize whatever comes to mind to fulfill those needs, and build yourself a world in your head of people and circumstances that are absolutely ridiculously amazing.
Bathing yourself in light and love Creating whatever guardian figure to hold you (or your inner child, depending whether you choose a separate perspective or not. (I used to use Obama a lot =D) Being in beautiful places Being praised by everyone Being cheered on by everyone Drinking healing water Releasing your emotions as demons from your body Conversations with people who have hurt you in the past with the intention of closure or forgiveness and again... go nuts, sky is the limit <3
Shadow work guide
Emotional Healing/shadow Work - The How To GuideShadow work
First, let me start with a little motivation.
Why should I care about emotional healing? What is there for me to get?
Well, how about unconditional happiness, and wellbeing, much clearer communication, emotional awareness in social situations, and many more things you can't even fathom?
Just to compare it with a self-liberated state - it is different from detachment in my understanding. Liberation will detach you from the duality of life. Through emotional healing, you can move from the bottom of the emotional spectrum, all the way from depression to bliss.
So yeah, buckle up, and enjoy.
The emotional spectrum
In essence, there is only one emotional scale, in the lower part there are emotions such as sadness, anxiety, pain, loneliness,... and on the upper half you get the "good shit" - joy, love, glowing, warmth...
So there is not really a need to identify every emotion such as "depression, sorrow, anxiety...". You can! but It is not a requirement.
All you need to do, every time you are feeling an emotion, is to ask yourself: Is this emotion moving me in the direction of bliss, or depression?
That is all the "EQ" you need.
Claims I am making in this guide that need to be understood.
1. Majority of your subconscious mind = Your body and your nervous system, including cellular memory.
2. Every emotion that is released in one moment, can never come back to haunt your life again. At least in the same limiting and painful fashion.
How do thoughts fit into the shadow-work/healing paradigm? Well you can imagine thoughts being this endless stream of water in your head. RIVER, that's the word! =D.
And your emotions are either a factory that is pouring in toxic waste and polluting the beautiful crystal clear water, OR a light, that is giving the water healing powers.
Now I don't know how about you, but I will always pick Light over Toxic waste. Of course if you don't then this topic might not be for you :-p.
Beliefs (especially negative/limiting/lack beliefs).
Belief = a repetitive thought that is a manifestation of an underlying emotional/energetical cause.
Later on I will try to guide you how to take on, and release negative core beliefs.
Essential requirement for emotional healing
FBO!! - Full Body Awareness
Now what da heell u talkin about?????
Full body awareness is simply your attention no longer residing only in your head on your thoughts, and outside of you, but also in your body. It is the essential mindfulness skill. You can develop this quite easily through meditation, doing body-scans whenever you remember (A great tip is to set a reminder on your phone for every hour of your day, and every time it rings, you just run a quick awareness scan of your body and your feelings).
NUMBER ONE PRIOTIY.
For healing to be effective IT HAS TO BECOME your number one priority in life. This allows you utilize every time you get triggered, and get the most out of ordinary every-day situations. And if it isn't clear already, THERE IS NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT YOU COULD EVER DO IN TERMS OF SELF-IMPROVEMENT AND FROM A CERTAIN ANGLE ON YOUR PATH TO LIBERATION.
How do I get to feel good all the time?
So you wanna feel good? Well you are not the only one, and YES YOU CAN! Don't listen to the people who say "ooh well life isn't all rainbow and unicorns." You can literally choose that reality for yourself. You can feel great, ALL THE TIME.
Total and absolute self-love.
This should be done on two levels.
1. You create something I like to call Meta acceptance. That means total and absolute acceptance of yourself in all situations. Practically this means, that whenever you are feeling down, you can accept yourself without judgement, whenever you screw up, you choose to accept yourself, but that doesn't end there. If you screw up, and beat yourself up, you choose to accept your beating yourself up! See why "meta"? <3.
The self-acceptance chain runs a little like this:
You find yourself in a emotionally disturbed state. Your thoughts are among the lines of "I am not good enough". >> "Oh stop, don't think of yourself like that!".
The way you apply meta acceptance is - First accept the thought of "Oh stop, don't think of yourself like that". (If you want something a little tangible for acceptance you can mentally hug the thought.), and once that thought is dealt with, you move onto the other thought of I am not good enough. And you accept that.
2. Acceptance of your body and feelings.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcNGtZPPSS8 - Leo's visualisation works perfectly for this stage of self-love.
Basically what needs to happen is the activation of your heart-center and then spreading the "love feeling" to the rest of your body.
Why should one love himself? Because he is already perfect. He is always the most exact expression of god that he chose to express in the moment. The most perfect and beautiful creation, that has never ever existed before, and never will after. A complete, blissful perfection in the eyes of The one. Side note - self-love is a skill, that will grow and fluctuate throughout your journey. That is natural and nothing to be alarmed of.
Hammer it down with a visualization!
Healing is in essence an inaccurate concept. There is nothing wrong with the "unhealed" one. When you decide to take up on healing, you are choosing a different perception, different quality and embodiment of life, and different energetical configuration of your being. It is not better, nor worse, that is why we choose our suffering, as well as we choose our bliss. We choose healing because DAMN IT FELS GOOD! (And from that standpoint only can you make an argument that the "healed" state is a better one, because it is in the direction of your intuition, which is nothing else but following what feels good).
So every day, you choose to step more into the reality of a better feeling energetical state. Into the blissfulness of being.
Let's assume that there is such you that is fully healed, fully recovered, fully on the bliss side of the emotional spectrum. The you that is passionate, alive, joyful, fearless.
How exactly does the embodiment of these qualities (or any other of your choice) feel?
How does it feel in your body? What kinds of thoughts are you having? What kinds of people do you hang out with? What is your financial situation? What is your family and relationship situation? What does it look like when you communicate with others? What kind of job, or what kind of person are you in a job? How assertive are you? How responsible and sensitive are you? And so on...
Use the miracle that is your imagination, visualize that you are already embodying every single quality you desire to embody. Imagine that you are blissful, joyful and peaceful.
Every single day, whenever you remember, just imagine this YOU! This YOU that you know you came here to be, and imagine that you are ALREADY living that paradigm.
This allows you to stay motivated, make it number one priority, and will have a healing effect within of itself.
And through the visualization - Allow yourself to raise your standards. Give yourself permission, that you truly deserve to feel amazing. You truly deserve to have an amazing life, you truly deserve to be the one you know you came here to be. Through visualization, you create an end-version of yourself. This will allow you to use all the necessary means to get you there. It is the end-result that inspires means.
Breath-work is an essential part of the healing process. It allows integration and gets the suppressed emotional energy in your body moving.
Pranic breathing/visualization - An exercise to be used whenever you feel an emotional trigger in your body. This usually happens in the stomach and abdomen area, but not exclusively.
1. Close your eyes, and make yourself aware of all the feelings in your body. Identify everything you choose to work on in the moment, anything unpleasant or limiting.
2. On a count of 6, take a deep breath INTO YOUR TUMMY!!!!!! while visualizing All the emotions rising up!
3. On a count of 6, hold onto everything you have been meaning to rise up while holding your breath.
4. On a count of 6, breathe out, while letting go of everything you have been holding onto. Then hold your breath for 3 seconds, and breathe normally for a little while (doesn't need to be more than 2-3 breaths).
5. Repeat the whole process until it feels redundant. I highly recommend doing this practice daily.
Sidenote: It helps if you calm your mind before the exercise through any means you find fit.
The Wim-Hof Breathing technique
This is for an advanced stage of already initiated healing. I do not recommend this exercise for the initiation of the healing process. If you feel that it resonates with you and fits your needs, then by all means use it any time you deem appropriate.
1. Breathe in the full capacity of your lungs, and breathe out instantly. Repeat the whole process 25-30 times, until your head feels a little dizzy.
2. Breathe out your last breath from the previous step and hold your breath for as long as it feels comfortable.
3. Go back to n.1 and do the whole cycle again. Repeat for at least 3-5 times.
LEARN TO LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
This is a very simple but crucial part. Get yourself into a habit of making choices based on what feels good in your body, and you can turn your whole life into healing, making the process much quicker, and more intuitive.
IN ex. you wake up, you do your morning routine, and you don't know what to do next. Move your awareness into your body, and ask yourself "what would feel the best to do next?". There might be answers such as drink a glass of water, have sex, go for a walk, masturbate, go socialize, etc.
This can at times get tricky, and that is when we are presented between a dilemma of Egoic vs. Authentic choice. Imagine that you are in a restaurant, and you can either choose to eat a cake or a salad. Now there are instances, where eating the cake would actually be an authentic choice. It is completely fine. But let's say you are trying to shed some weight, and naturally eating a cake would feel good! Right?! Well Then follow this principle. Will it also feel good 5-30 minutes after I made the choice? (eaten the cake..),
And heureca. A simple guidance system to navigate your whole fucking life, to get yourself asap to your highest alignment.
How to deal with negative/lack beliefs
First a quick guide to make yourself aware of your limiting beliefs - Let's say there is something that disturbes you. Maybe your spouse doesn't text back and you feel bad about it. So you calm your body and mind, and start enquiring within.
Why am I feeling bad about this?
>> It feels like they don't love me.
If that is true, why is that so bad?
>> Because with no love my life is meaningless.
If that is true why is that so bad?
>> Because that would mean I am not good enough.
If that is true why is it so bad?
>> I am not good enough
This was just an illustration, your enquiring process will probably be much longer and have perhaps several dozens of questions, you might check out Katie Byron's process that she calls The Work.
So you've got this belief that you perceive as limiting, and decided to do something about it. Great!!! ADMIT DEFEAT.
You cannot win over a belief in your subconscious from the stand-point of This is not true! I will fight this! Because in essence, your subconscious has so much more power than your conscious mind. You can't override it with brute force. So admit defeat. The belief is there. You do not believe you are good enough.
After admitting the defeat there should be (there may be exceptions so don't take this as a rule or confirmation of "I am doing it right") a sense of relief. Because you have been running from this belief your entire life, trying to prove it wrong. But now, when you admit defeat, there is no longer the need to accomplish anything in order to escape from the belief. There is acceptance. There is a little more peace.
Now when you are aware of your thought of "I am not good enough", trace the thought back into your body. Close your eyes, and follow the trail of your emotions. How does that thought make you feel? What are the underlying emotions behind this belief? This might take a while to take an effect, but sooner or later, you should arrive at an emotion that can be worked with.
AND THAT is when your breathing exercises kick in.
What should follow is a lot of release of unconscious emotions. Your most cathartic moments are the ones when you are overwhelmed with emotions.
List of cathartic actions/events/situations
Journaling and writing down thoughts in free association Tingeling or weird sensations in the body Speaking in tongues CRYING shouting outbursts of anger panic attacks unexplainable fear obsessive thinking unvolutary body movements strong urges (such as you have a strong urge to do something, or bark, or run,...) puking diarhea hyper horniness hyper sensitivity feelings of love feelings of resentment feeligns of disgust feelings of victimhood halucinations feeling sick feelings of stiffness and many many more :o) Desire
Desire. Ooh Isn't this one the favourite for the "spiritual folks" to pick on! =D.
I MUST BECOME DESIRELESS
DESIRE IS THE SOURCE OF ALL SUFFERING
DESIRE IS BLUEBLAHBLOHBLA EWW
AAH #NOMIIIND #BUDDHA #SoEnlightenedRnLikeOmg
The belief in lack is the source of all suffering.
- Bentinho Massaro
What do you make of this one?
The belief in lack is the cause of all suffering.
Is that clear? Like... do you understand how deep this goes?
When you are born, you don't really believe in that much of lack do you?
You prolly don't believe that you lack money as a kiddo. You probably don't believe that you lack sex, or that you lack comfort (ok debatable). But surely not as many things as you seem to be lacking now.
Desire is the driving force behind all action. Without desire the universe would literally could not exist. What's the problem then?
Lack based desire vs. Inspiration based desire.
All of suffering is an illusion, because it is based on lack. Which IS an illusion. You can never truly lack anything.
If lack were real, happiness would not be a possible state of mind. I can prove this to you! Lack is truly an extremely illusory state of consciousness.
as you are sitting behind your computer screen!
Are you lacking a big shiny red apple in your hand?!
But it is not there? (unless this is a fucking huge coincidence in which case Im highfiving you)
So how can you not lack it? If it is NOT THERE!
Well you don't... probably. You are not in a "state of lack of the big red shiny apple" that would be driving you crazy.
So how come you can lack anything else? Like money? Or love? Or anything what so ever?
Can you see the illusory state of mind?
Lack cannot possibly rationally ultimately exist.
Desire is OK!
There is nothing bad/wrong/untrue about desire. The trick comes in distinguishing lack based desires and inspiration desires.
To be fair, as of now, most of your desires are probably going to be lack-based. And that is fine. It is a great tool for growth and healing.
How to exploit desires for growth
1. Every time you feel bad about a situation, ask yourself "What must I believe that I lack right now?"
And realize that it is a one big lie. You cannot lack anything. And even if you did lack something, wouldn't the most logical thing to do be just straight up getting the thing you think you lack? Instead of reminiscing and feeling bad about it?
Find out what you perceive you lack (let's use the example of companionship) "I believe I lack companionship." If it were true, that I truly lack companionship, what would be the most logical course of action? >> Go out and talk to people Ok great why don't you do it? Looads of self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviours probably will kick in. >> I don't wanna go out, people don't like me, I am shy, I am introverted, I can't make friends, I don't know anyone, I am a loser etc. See how the perceived lack was what created the suffering? It wasn't the desire itself. It was the belief that you lack companionship. 2. Every time you desire something, even when it is based on lack, follow it. Do NOT SUPPRESS YOUR DESIRES. That will truly result only in self-sabotaging and self destructive behaviours that will lead to more emotional issues down the road.
Every time we desire, we don't in actuality desire the object of our desire. We desire the feeling of having the object.
If I want a car, I don't actually want that car. What I truly on a deeper level want, is a state of freedom, or worthiness, or security,...
Can you activate that feeling of already having that car within your being, WITHOUT actually having the car?
Yes you can!
Visualize, breath-work, mindfulness, breath-work.
What does it feel like to have that car? What are the sensations in my body?
What kinds of thoughts are coming up now when I have it?
What is between me, and the feeling of having the car?
Is it the feeling of "I am not good enough"? Or the thought of "I am not worthy"?
Once you arrive at a conclusion, healing can start, lack can be purified, and desire will be used to it's maximum to grow you, and to teach you your lesson.
side note: You can motivate yourself through realizing that once you get yourself into a state of mind where you "already have that thing you desire" without lacking it, it will be SO MUCH MORE EASIER EFFORTLESS AND FLOWING to get that thing in the external reality, that it really doesn't make any sense at all to keep believing in lack.
How To Pimp Out OneNote For 2019Here are three things I started doing that made OneNote ridiculously powerful.
Install the OneNote web clipper immediately. This is great for screenshotting powerful forum posts, downloading PDF's, articles, etc.. I send them all to the same location for convenience. https://www.onenote.com/clipper Consider purchasing a digital pen or stylus to draw directly into OneNote. If you're a visual person, terrified of drawing with the mouse, and like to have everything in one place, then this is for you. I got a really solid one on Amazon for $60 bucks. It's been amazing so far. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B077P6BQP7/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 Start recording your audio logs right into OneNote, particularly on your smartphone when away from your desktop. Ditch the built in recording apps. I save these to the same section as well. OneNote, at this point, is becoming almost-too-powerful. You might start to feel like a mini-god hoarding all of this juicy information. Remember not to take things too far. It can easily become an obsession. Don't turn into a cataloguing slave.
Note: All of this stuff is way easier with OneNote 2016. Get over your fear of cloud-based storage. Come to the dark side, it's more powerful here.
web dev ,business, programming, boostrapping life
Leo, did you see this coming?@kieranperez This is exactly what I did. Only I started my own web development business which gave me a more or less passive income, and has given me a great base. It took 2-3 years to get off to where it is now (though I didn't push it hard) and you can easily learn web design and development in 6 months to a year.
As Leo said, programming and scripting (and design / internet marketing) are super useful skills to have for any business. So maybe that is exactly what you need. By programming skills have also led to job offers building out a network of other entrepreneurs. Is this what I want to do with my life? Fuck no.
But it has allowed me to move out about 4 months ago and live very comfortably on my own which has compounded my growth.
Find what works for you, but I can definitely testify that web development works, it's a highly demanded skill. You probably know family and friends or they know someone who will need a website. It's pretty easy to get a business like this off the ground if you are good at what you do and willing to work cheap at a startup.
I'd be happy to help you and point you in the right direction if you are interested. Or feel free to find your own way or do your own thing, whatever works for you.
vision heart hope success
Leo, did you see this coming?Not in the slightest.
But I did have a powerful vision for my life, I was very ambitious, and I was following my heart. Which is really all that matters.
You are young. You've got many years to put all of those things in place. Obviously don't waste time sitting around on your ass, but don't panic either.
Right now what you're missing is hope and faith in your vision.
Vision is useless if you don't have rock-solid faith in it. You need to train yourself to believe in it. Visualize it every day with a hopeful vibe. Do not visualize it pessimistically, negatively, full of fear. That is terrible. That is counter-productive.
Holding a big vision is not easy. It is scary. Your mind will not believe it is possible. I used all sorts of mind programming techniques to reinforce my vision and overcome various doubts. But the most important thing is HEART! You must have HEART! That is what carries you through everything. Your life purpose must be non-negotiable. You are doing it no matter what. There should be no option for failure because you already know there is nothing else you'd rather do.
There will hundreds of doubts in this journey. You have to really cultivate hope. Not in luck, but in your hard work. Your vision will get actualized through honest labor.
And remember, a big vision requires lots of patience. You don't need to be Buddha by next month. Recalibrate your exceptions and split your vision up into smaller chunks, so you are not evaluating your progress based on whether you are like Ralston or Buddha. That may not happen for 40 years. And that's okay, you don't need that to enjoy your life.
Help Me Build A Jedi Academy
Help Me Build A Jedi Academy@Jcent It is wise, before you go breaking down a system, to learn the system from the inside.
Only a fool hastily disassembles a complex piece of machinery without first studying its inner workings.
A common problem with young revolutionaries is that they end up creating a worse system than the one they rail against because they underestimate the practical realities such a system must contend with.
Success requires striking a delicate balance between the old and the new, the status quo and the cutting edge, between the practical and ideal.
Otherwise you easily end up with something like a cult, a communist revolution, or Bioshock: a dystopian abomination.
practice no location
Most Important Daily Practices@The Blind Sage Silence has no location but permeates everything. Be like silence. Practice no location.
measuring progress properly
measuring progress properlywhen i want to ditch a habit that i find toxic, this is how i measure my progress...
instead of counting the days i stay clean and restarting everytime i relapse, as if i were expecting some kind of prior perfection, i find a way to see my progress on the long run, avoiding losing data.
suppose i want to quit porn, but atm i watch porn every 2 days. my goal would be to increase the gap between the days that i relapse. a systematic way of doing this is by using bars to plot those gaps:
x represents the gap (1st, 2nd, 3rd etc) and y represents the number of days that i was able to do what i want to do. this is how a steady progress looks like:
How To Find Your True Motives?A lot of time by your self contemplating and journaling is necessary. And not just once. You must do it over and over again throughout your life.
The LP Course covers this topic a lot.
The problem is the social conditioning and childhood survival habits run extremely deep. It is hard to seperate them out from your genuine higher self motives and values.
I am still discovering more authentic motives in myself after years of self-reflection and years of satisfying various needs.
As you grow your motives will get purified more and more until they run clear like a bitter cold high mountain stream.
Values and ego
Are Your Values Ego Driven ?Not every value is ego driven. In fact, your genuine values -- once you become really consciousness of them -- are ego-transcendent. Which is why values are such an important piece of the puzzle.
Without that, it would not be possible to transcend ego other than maybe through blind luck. But ego-transcendence has little to do with blind luck.
This is something divine inside of you which is pulling you up all the time. It just largely goes untapped, undeveloped, drowned about by all the noise of life. A paradise lost.
Are Your Values Ego Driven ?Are values egos driven?
Yes. It's the ego that 'evaluates' reality in the first place. And decides what serves its self-interests, which become things you value, and what doesn't serve it, which are things you don't value.
If it wasn't for ego the concept of 'value' wouldn't even be an issue for you.
Learn acceptance. Learn to be ok with whatever happens, irrespective of the outcomes in life.
What you are doing is identifying to strongly with these values, such that when you 'fail' to live up to them you feel that your identity is threatened. You need to let go of this need to identify with any particular value and accept things as they are. That's not to say that you can't pursue any particular value in life, but remain detached from 'needing' it in order to feel 'complete'.
Reading and understanding
What Do You Do To Retain The Knowledge From A Book?@The Don I'm someone who suffers from mild dyslexia so I understand your struggle.
When a piece of text is written on particular topic, the author paints a picture of the topic in their own idiosyncratic way. Their word choices and connotations of those words, the logical steps they highlight as well as the logical steps they ignore, the intuitive picture they try to communicate and etc (ofc this is not the case for hard-core fact sheets which just have facts written down with no explanation or back up). Human minds are complex and so it is that the same topic can be intuited/thought of in an infinite number of ways.
Struggles can arise when reading a book because your brain is not the same brain of the person writing the book. When you read about and are studying a particular topic, do not try to memorise the chains of reasoning or memorise the sequence of things which were focused on. What you should do instead is take the information from the book and try to synthesise your own "unique" understanding and viewpoint of a topic. Come up with your own starting points, your own points of focus on a topic, your own chronological order of things to focus on.
For example, if I'm studying maths I do not study things in the order that my school recommends. I start with foundations and build upwards, rather than spread myself thin and jump from topic to topic too quickly and not understand anything I've learnt as a result of my incorrect method of studying. The method people use for learning maths is to become a memory drone, rather than actually understand the maths. I'm trying to form my own pathway in understanding a topic. It requires that I constantly look at different sources and synthesis my own, personal understanding.
Need Advice For NofapStart with a realistic goal. If you set it at a month, you're going to "relapse" within the next week. Then you'll feel guilty about it and it will make it worse. Think about how long you can easily go without, and make your goal one or two days more than that. This works with any goal.
You create an idea in your head of "I don't want to do this anymore, so I must immediately stop right this minute" which is not logical. You've been doing this how long, it will take a lot more time to change it!
So first, make a goal that is reasonable, and when you reach it it should bring a little empowerment.
Think about the benefits of it. Is it really something that is that amazing? You feel good for a little while and then it's gone and you do it over and over to chase that feeling? just contemplate over it for the reality of what it is. After a while you should think less of it and need it less.
Finally, nofap and no sexual activity in general will not actualize you faster. Sure, less will help, but the key is to have the control & balance. Work to gain will power and control. This means when you get an urge, you don't always need to act. It's when people become obsessed and chase pleasure, that they give up control. After gaining control and balance, you can experience the pleasure for what it is and you will need it less & appreciate the moment more. See what I'm getting at? The more you chase after the pleasure, the less pleasure you get. Doing this work will help you in all pleasure-seeking areas of your life.
So basically, the whole point of nofap is to gain will power, balance, and control. The goal isn't "no sex". start working to gain control over your impulses.
Edit: one more tip, every time you get the urge to watch porn, instead look up a subject that interests you such as psychology or quantum mechanics and take that time to read/learn something new. that should get rid of your sexual thoughts
Is the earth round?Not quite. The (paraphrased) instruction is "write something you know to be true, or believe to be true, and keep reducing it until you reach what is true". So knowing that you don't know for sure that something you know in everyday terms is 'true' (I.e. Earth being round) is very much a part of that reduction process. Now take it further: reduce the various reasons, ways, evidences etc. that we've brought up in this thread and reduce them down to what they truly seem to be. Then take that and reduce it down.
By reducing, we recognise and understand what is not absolutely truthful in our understanding; thought-images, conceptual models, emotional beliefs of ourselves and the world - we take all these things and attempt to identify what is untrue about them. When something is identified as untrue, it can be put down. Eventually, maybe we put everything untrue down.
So it's not about figuring out what you are, it's putting down what you're not. And I think one of the biggest risks is believing what anybody else says you 'truly' are. Because your head-canon of what they mean becomes a new thing you carry around, a new untruth. Many people seem to be trying to figure out how they can prove to themselves they are infinite consciousness or whatever. Don't. Won't work, can't win. Just find what is untrue in every word, thought, deed, and belief, and put them down
Memory, biases, past, deep shit
Did the past really happen?So recently, I became aware of the fact that only the present moment exists. The past, to me, is just a bundle of thoughts and images in my mind. I only have direct experience of the present moment.
And yet, I wonder, did yesterday actually happen? I mean, I remember waking up and doing things yesterday. But now, all that remains are images in my mind about yesterday. I have no proof of yesterday. All evidence of yesterday are memories in my head.
Logically, you could argue that we humans can’t directly experience all of reality, so even though I can’t experience yesterday, it still existed.
I don’t really know at this moment. It feels to me a bit that yesterday didn’t actually exist. But rationally, that doesn’t make sense to me.
I’d love to hear your theories or experiences of this question.
Abusive Family dynamic and the pick-up cultureHey guys! Its late at night and I just had such a clarifying insight for me that just seems like something so incredibly fun to share with all of you.
I have always felt like there was an imbalance in the dating scene. It doesn't necessarily include everyone, but I am mainly talking about the pick-up culture, club and party culture, and regarding a lot of what RSD teaches and operates in.
The imbalance was what it is often referred to as "high value females" having such an abundance in men, that they walk around telling guys how to be, how to act and how to approach them so they like them more. I always found that on some level slightly repulsive. The sense of entitlement didn't make sense to me, why wasn't there sexual equality, where there can be sharing one another freely when both desire.
And of course, this isn't any type of rant telling women how to behave and who to date. They are absolutely free to like who they like, and date who they feel attraction towards. That's absolutely natural and necessary. It isn't even necessarily one of those "testimonies of a nice-guy" complaining why I could never get laid because "those stupid bitches only date assholes", this kind of INCEL type of vibe, not at all.
But from a young age I saw this kind of imbalance and I couldn't figure it out. Why was it that guys had to try so incredibly hard, why was it that the most effective dating advice is for a dude to get his life in order, to HAVE A PURPOSE, to BECOME confident, to conquer their life, to GO TO THE GYM and have interests, passions and hobbies.
Why do dudes have to work so freaking hard to create attraction, and it doesn't flow automatically and naturally? I mean attracting your partner and having a relationship is one of the most beautiful things in life, to share yourself with another being is a privilege, joy and amazing opportunity to grow more than ever for both partners! Why does it require so much work on the side of the male? (Not to discredit any type of effort females put forth, but just speaking generally.)
After all, it is guys who often spend so much time on dating advice, seminars, coaches...
And then there is the result of this type of work. If you look at RSD coaches, or other examples of dudes who "made it", who learnt the "skillset" to attract females. The scenario doesn't usually go "oh I worked on myself, I found the love of my life and had a fulfilling relationship for two decades building a life together with an incredible loving family". No, the result often times is that the man "learns the MALE skillset", he attracts women. And that's exactly where it stays, and then there is this weird thing where he attracts more, and more, and keeps on chasing after those women, as if it were never enough, after all that hard work that he has done on himself, there will never be enough of the sex, of the attention, or of the need to gain the female validation.
And this is just plain weird, it is a kind of loop that the man keeps spiraling in.
And today I had a holy shit moment, and it all clicked. This loop is created by a certain type of culturally accepted abuse towards children, especially towards boys, and it is done by mothers.
There is a term that I recently found, that had shed a lot of light onto my own family dynamic, where this type of abuse was very tangible. (I will share my story in a bit) Covert emotional incest.
You might think that it sounds kind of brutal. But I bet that most of you have almost certainly experienced this type of dynamic in your own family, even if only in a subtle way.
The most obvious and extreme cases of this phenomenon are in ex. A mother asking her son to listen to the trouble she is having in the relationship with her father. The child then feels validated by the things it is being told, and it feels like it is being useful as a listener. But that's not at all an appropriate thing to ask of a little boy! He's a small kid, he is the one who requires their needs met and not the other way around. It is a complete role reverse. It is of course unfortunate when a child cannot have their needs met and is in a situation where it's neglected. But this is actually a totally new level of that. Not only doesn't the child get their needs met, but the child is put into a position where it doesn't even get to have needs. A situation where a child doesn't get it's needs met is where it asks a parent, and the parent says "No, I am busy, go to your room." And that's a serious thing that affects us all. But in this scenario, the child doesn't even get to know it's needs. It is not even allowed to develop it's needs, because it is the one who is meeting the parent's needs.
This dynamic doesn't often play out in the magnitude of a mother expecting her son to be a replacement for all she seems to lack in her romantic relationship type of situation. It is a more subtle dynamic. And even though it is an abusive imbalanced dynamic, it is so ingrained in our culture that you would NEVER imagine that this type of behavior could be considered inappropriate or abusive.
I could continue with more examples surely, but I am a little lazy when it comes to studying these things from external sources, I just like to go with my own intuition and experience so feel free to do research if this strikes you as interesting.
All these examples have one thing in common. They are situations where the parents are putting the responsibility of their own personal fulfillment and happiness onto the child. In other words, parents have codependent relationships with their children.
In my own family, this played out on such a large scale and affected me enormously. My own mother subconsciously objectified me to be her own personal "humanoid" fulfilling her needs and expectations. She would say things in a way where she would present herself as a victim of a situation, asking me to be her savior. In fact I had a conversation with her once, and she actually told me that she expects me to fulfill the emotional hole inside her. Without flinching or second guessing herself, or a grain of self-awareness where she would look at what she was actually asking me to do. In my childhood, I was without knowing it often manipulated by her so she could get her way and come out victorious, when I didn't want to do something, she would sweet-talk me into doing what she wanted, making it look as if she was the most amazing and loving mother on earth.
In my own experience, I had NO idea why on some level I felt like I was a victim of sexual abuse. There was nothing in my history even remotely similar to any kind of sexual abuse, at least nothing I could understand. Not to minimize any type of sexual abuse, I am sure that the experience of it is horrific and beyond belief, however I can imagine that in the case of a parent abusing a child, one of the most significant aspects of the abuse is the sheer betrayal. The fact that your primary caretaker who is expected to care for you and love you unconditionally, supporting your needs and desires, out of everyone in the world, that this one person abused you in such a manner is a horrific experience of betrayal of the most serious degree. And that was the experience I had, there was a deeply betrayed part of me. The moment the child is expected to meet the parent's needs and is not on the receiving end of affection and love, while required to give it to the parent, a betrayal of the natural development is created.
When I realized that this happened to me, I shared it with a friend. And the moment I mentioned that I always felt like I was sexually abused on some level he uttered "OMG ME TOO!" (Side note, we are both empaths so our ability to feel these things is amplified, these feelings may or may not be the same for the majority of guys who went through similar dynamic.)
Then I would share some examples of this abuse happening in my childhood, and he would say "Wait but don't all mothers do that?", and I'd say "Yeah, I think this is real in many families, and that is a scary-ass thing to realize."
Culturally, females are often viewed as sacred when it comes to the relationship with their children. it gives them oh so much power and almost immunity to all kinds of abusive behaviour, mascarading only as "good parenting", with excuses such as "Oh she is just doing it because she loves you so much.", while having almost absolute power to project all her unresolved emotional needs onto the child/boy. A Big FUCK THAT I say to that shit, for real...
So to tie this back to the dating dynamic and pick-up culture. Guys are brought up in a dynamic being expected to meet the emotional needs of their mothers, and in extension then all the females they wish to date. This is the Nice guy. The nice guy who is there for their mom when she needs them, and who is then rewarded by their mom. When it comes to dating, suddenly this doesn't work anymore, and the girls don't respond to this dynamic with attraction. But let's not limit this to the Nice guy archetype. We can talk about the macho dudes, who can have trouble expressing themselves emotionally, or feel like crying is a weakness. That is actually the same wound, that says "I don't get to have emotional needs." And because we all feel like deep down we don't get to have needs, it creates this whole imbalance where females who are comfortable having needs, hold so much more power in the romantic or sexual interaction. And so the guy (And btw nothing wrong with this, I love the fact that dudes go and take control over their life.) goes and learns all the skillsets to attract women, which is a difficult and a huge step. And I applaud to all the guys who have the courage to change and evolve in this way. However on a much deeper level, there is an enormous wound within your being, that is actually a part of your child-self, that is desperate to have it's emotional needs met, and it doesn't know how. Heck it doesn't even know it's supposed to have needs.
In culture there is often the distinction between the feminine role and the masculine role, and then the polarity between the two. In reality, it is not about your gender. Feminine and masculine are aspects that we all have within us, and the trick is to balance both of them out, rather than play the masculine role, expecting the feminine to be your partner. From this space, you can actually create relatinoships of equality, rather than perpetuate the old wounded dynamic.
So that's that, I hope this resonates with you guys because this is actually such a big part of the illness of our society. It needs to stop being acceptable to abuse children in any way possible.
This is the video that brought up the initial spark of clarity, check him out he's a therapist and a good guy with a heart in the right place.
Life purpose and "How to Escape Wage Slavery"For me, going to bed early and waking up early takes care of most of that. I just need to make sure that I set an alarm and go to bed early and fall asleep as soon as possible. If you do that, it takes far less willpower to bootstrap your day. Go to bed around a specific time, and wake up to an alarm. You should sleep for 6 hours or 7 hours and 30 minutes. It takes 20 minutes to fall asleep. So, you will lie on bed for 6 hours and 20 minutes or 7 hours and 50 minutes.
To fall asleep as soon as possible, you should do the following things for 3 hours before you go to bed.
Keep the environment dark. Reduce monitor's blue light with softwares like RedShift. Don't do anything that stimulates you such as watching movie or engaging in angry arguments. Don't drink caffeinated drink after 1:00PM. It can take 8 hours for caffeine to wear off. If you don't want to exhaust your willpower during day, you need to keep a few things in mind
Don't create a wiggle room for distractions. 1% wiggle room will kill your work for the day. 1% wiggle room creates a room for a distraction that leads to another and then another and then another. You will be distracted for 6~8 hours without being aware that you're distracted. Work even if you could die. Don't distract yourself after eating meals. It will kill your day. Don't distract yourself when you have nothing to do. Just sit with boredom. Not being able to sit with boredom will kill your day. Train your focus muscle, or strategize your life whenever you have nothing to do. Whenever you are distracted, strategize about the thing that distracts you. The strategy about the thing will kill the distraction. If there is nothing to strategize, just remember to not give a wiggle room for distraction. Be ready to negotiate workload with yourself. Don't overwork yourself. If you think your mind and body are going to react violently, you should negotiate with yourself to reduce workload for the day. Do not take break from distractions. Take breaks from concentration. You should schedule time for distractions at least 5 minutes in advance. When you feel an urge to browse the internet, schedule an internet session at least 5 minutes later. That should give you 5 minutes to train your focus muscle. Set a time limit to your distraction. Schedule your entire waking hours so that it is easier to fend off distractions. Your ego will fill free time blocks with distractions. Schedule hours of time for reacting to unexpected stuff. I call it reaction time block. You should schedule something else to do during reaction time block if there is no unexpected stuff today. Chunk your work in pomodoro(25 minute) sessions interrupted by 5~10 minute breaks. It is great for keeping your concentration at high levels and preventing your body from suffering due to lack of exercise. I do light exercise during breaks. Set aside time for meditation, positive affirmation, and visualization. Leo has videos about those topics. Create a morning ritual to motivate yourself after you wake up. Here's my morning ritual. Make bed, brush my teeth, take a shower, eat breakfast, and brush my teeth again Prepare a cup of water and check weather Positive affirmation for 5 minutes Meditate for 20 minutes Visualize for 10 minutes Plan what to do today Take a 5 minute break before starting work. Recently, I forgot about not creating wiggle room. So, I will remember to not create a wiggle room tomorrow. I will try to execute it so repetitively that I will embody it and it will be done subconsicously. I embodied waking up early months ago. Nowadays, I really don't want to sleep in. So, I know I can embody not creating wiggle room, given enough repetition. I guess it will take a month to embody it and two years to make it fully subconscious.
You have to have a clear life purpose to motivate yourself to execute hard work hygiene for years and decades. Leo's life purpose course helps with that.
do nothing meditation
Developing the "REAL" doing nothing techniqueHey all,
I want to master "do nothing" technique but I'm really struggling on that.
I've mastered a lot other techniques such as "breathing, counting, scanning body, scanning environment.. etc' but these all like actually mean for me to doing something. I recently started to think and threat all these as 'cheating' somehow because I can just easily stick to one of methods above and it's really easy for me to complete an hour meditation with that.
I tried doing meditation without any technique "the real nothing that I call" but It's really hard to do. What're your insights or guidance would be here? Thanks helping.
(Background: I have 1+ years of meditation steak for everyday min 40 minutes)
do nothing meditation
Developing the "REAL" doing nothing techniqueWhat is meditation?
Can we start by saying what it is not?
Meditation isn't passively observing the passing of thoughts in order to quiet the mind to attain enlightenment. This is how the term "meditation" is normally intended or implied.
True meditation is observing not only the passing of thoughts, but also even observing the desire/seeking in thought for enlightenment. Total observation of all thought, including even the observation of volitional/desirous thoughts to quiet the mind.
Total observation, which is true meditation, is therefore effortless, goal-less. To be aware of the movement of effort means the meditator is not unaware in exerting it (effort) to "attain" something through meditation. Total observation, in this sense, is observation without the conditioned/biased lens of the "observer"; meditation without the influence of the "meditator".