Rishabh R

I contemplated for 30 minutes - How do I overcome external negative events ? The answers : - By realising that they are temporary -By thinking long term effects of these events -By realising that external negative events impact diminishes over the course of 5,10 years -By thinking far ahead in into the future -By realising that my actions and words matter more to my life than what others say or do -By focussing on my actions and words Thank you.

I am also a member of other self-help community too. And I say that it is highly valuable as genuine self-help is rare.

@Sugarcoat I think that physical pain can be transcended sometimes while sometimes it results in death. Which is the end of pain in either case. Whereas emotional pain can be transcended with the right relationship to it. For example acceptance and embracing of distress. This may sound extremely counterintuitive but it's true. Reality is not all sunshine and rainbows but it's not all dark. However, to reach the heaven you need to go through hell( Metaphorically speaking). To get to the positive you need to go through the negative.

@Ayham As per the third one. It meant that that girl was receptive to you and this alone is a proof that there will be girls who will be receptive you. I also considered myself as unattractive to girls at University but later I realised that I wasn't focussing on the fact that there were few girls who were receptive to me and there will be in the future. I was just jealous of my friends having beautiful girlfriends but they were the wrong girls for me. As per the 1st one there is a realisation that I have experienced a little bit but heard from Mark Manson. Most relationships in our life will end (by the way sorry for your relative). With time your needs will be met even though that sounds impossible right now due to your environment. Just trying to let you know my thoughts regarding this. Best of luck.

@CARDOZZO To embrace not-knowing we must question our thoughts ,beliefs and assumptions about other's as well as ourselves. By the way the point of self-actualisation was great. Engineering is a great field which I studied in the past. Especially Biotechnology engineering.

That is more of a biological and survival question than a philosophical or psychological one.

@Salvijus Yeah but that was something which I observed and I will leave your question to contemplation.

My meditation duration is typically 12 to 20 minutes. But today I meditated more than 20 minutes which is basically 22 minutes and 35 seconds. At the last phase of meditation I noticed something about mental activity. While I was meditating a Hindu worship song was being played nearby in the colony beside my flat . My mind was focussed or say attentive on that song and when that song stopped my mind focussed on something else. I came to realise that attention is the root cause of attachment. Our minds pay attention to something and gets attached to it. By the way I was trying to meditate for 30 minutes but I failed.😂

@Ulax Thanks. I hope that I will keep posting.

Even if one achieved these ideals they will feel empty inside once these things become normal part of their life. Yeah absolutely but most people don't do self help which is even worse as they fall into the trap of self-indulgence instead of self discipline which makes them unhappy. Regarding ways to become more beautiful, stronger ,spiritual and intellectual it is life experiences that makes us grow not chasing ideal of perfection. The best thing to do is to pick up one self-help practice and do it over a long period of time without getting distracted by fluffy promises that almost every self halp tactics gives you. This is the best way I know how to get results from self-help. One would never achieved perfection but would make progress.

@CARDOZZO Self acceptance is the way out of this delusion of hedonic treadmill created by self help.

@Emerald and @CARDOZZO what are your all views on Mark Manson's book Models.

I contemplated for 45 minutes- What are the lessons from my failures in life ? Here are the answers. -That more I avoid failure the worst it will hit me -That I will always have the chances to succeed -They more I avoid hard work more I will fail - I care too much about girl's action -That random actions are inefficient in succeeding -Being 100% honest about my hardwork and then taking action to fill the gap can improve my chances of succeeding -That my actions are far more important to my life than other's actions -That of I don't accept failure then I will be constantly reactive to it which will make success less likely -That it doesn't matter how much I fail but weather I try again after each failure -That putting consistent effort in right direction is far more important than directionless effort -That failures are better test of succeeding in life than success themselves -That failures are not a negative thing but unsuccessful attempts -That I overgenralize and catastrophize negative events

@Davino While focusing on connection is good but also the acceptance of rejection is another great thing which reduces the pressure on the people to find someone.

@Rafael Thundercat I think it was more of a sarcasm or mocking.