Eternity

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  1. Well, you've run into a log jam it seems. From your description of how these experiences have impacted you, it sounds as if the ego is mixed up with your interpretation of your experiences. It doesn't take a hugely long time to see through the ego traps, but you will encounter what is called the dark night of the soul usually when you are close to realization. It sounds like you are experiencing it afterward. The ego will put up a struggle as you begin to push it into a corner. It never wants to be side lined because it senses it will die if it is seen through. You talk about your ideas of how you want to play out a grand plan you had. That sounds like it is straight from ego. You are very attached to your grand plan, also an ego quality. Letting go is something that the ego self must learn. And if you don't learn to do it, this back and forth will be a problem until you do. You see, it is hard to let God consciousness guide you with ego shouting in your ear. But practice whatever discipline you like to quiet the chattering ego, and you will begin to trust that your grand plan may not be the most grand plan at all. God consciousness, if you listen to that quiet voice, the insistent prodding of your still quiet gut feelings, you will come to see that, in the end, there was a better plan for you, better than any that the ego loudly proclaimed was your plan. Synchronicity makes an appearance when you let go of your control. Believe me, I learned this by my own experiences. I was probably one of the most headstrong people you could have ever met. I wanted every thing my way. When my assumptions all collapsed and the whole foundation of my little world caved in, I finally looked for another way and it all fell into place without my control of anything. Be patient. Give up the idea that control means you are getting guidance from God. The more control, the more ego is in play. Learn patience. It takes time and trials to learn patience. You have to curb the influence on you of the ego and wait for the little voice of sanity that will come through. Eckhardt Tolle (who wrote his book "A New World" about his awakening and how it changed him) had his overwhelming experience where he saw through the ego at a time when he was in a deep depression. Afterward he says he sat on a park bench for two years just discovering life in all its forms over again like a child and integrating his renewed thoughts into consciousness. He looked into other philosophies, a lot of Eastern philosophies like Buddhism and Advaita Vedanta and read "A Course in Miracles" and, I'm sure, more until he understood what he had experienced. It takes quite a bit of integrating before the puzzle finally falls into place and the overall picture emerges. You can't just do it in a few LSD trips. It requires patience, and maybe just letting things settle for a while.
  2. But all these discussions over karma or why God would love everything good or evil are just a waste of time. Once again you have been tricked by the Ego mind into believing such things are actual debatable topics, when all of it is a big lie. Nothing is true in this delusional dreamworld. You cannot rise above the delusional thinking of Ego without the realization that everything in a delusion is imaginary. You discuss these subjects as though they are hard fact when they are really only another story the Ego has spun for you to continue on in the same delusional state of mind. I recommend all of you who have not looked at the Tao Te Ching go listen to it being read in it's English translation on you tube. It take little effort as it is just about the length of an hour in which every one of your questions on these subjects are already answered. These are short concise answers or statements of truth. Tao Te Ching translates to "The Book of the Way" for those of you who aren't familiar and may have been an early treatise by the Buddha. There are, I believe, 75 statements of truth, some of them with examples of how these statements play out in a practical way. These are simple to grasp principles that answer the questions of why we have seemingly dual qualities in our dreamworld such as good vs. evil, strong vs. weak, light vs. dark, hot vs cold etc etc. I listen to it repeatedly to assimilate these simple statements. You want to incorporate them into your mind and personally I can't just listen once and then remember them all. So I listen to it over and over again until I can almost recite them along with the reader. Just give it room and time to sink in.
  3. Machiavelli, you are demonstrating how the ego fights any ideas that might open your eyes to it's completely imaginary existence. What you have is an ego problem. Ego btw is your body's personality that has run the show for who you are and are not in this dream world comprised of delusions since you first appeared here in the dream. Ego is the part of mind which is split away from the reality of who you are, i.e. unlimited God consciousness. What your ego keeps asking for is a quick and easy way to prove you are "special" in some way. It is a deep down desire to be able to show off powers, instantly gain riches, heal the sick, turn water into wine maybe even turn snakes into sticks and back again and become world famous. Jesus was tempted by the same Ego voice in the wilderness telling him he could have everything he wanted and own the whole world if he would just give in to the Ego. The goal of Ego is to make itself more powerful by being "special." It is even out to destroy you if you threaten its imaginary existence. Your mind is still split and it takes effort or suffering to heal your mind, throw off the ego, and surrender to God consciousness You have to desire the God mind and devote yourself to anything that leads there like you would desire water after having wandered in a desert with no water for interminable days and days. I sense by all your "yes but..." questions that Ego is still running the show. You can try Leo's shortcut with psychedelics. But most teachers and gurus emphasize first gaining the upperhand over Ego mind by way of meditation. I have read about and studied many spiritual teachers. Without seeing through the Ego tricks to suck you back in, it will be an uphill battle. You will be pulled in opposite directions at once, and taking a substance which btw is based on the idea we can escape a delusional state of mind by putting faith in the delusional idea that pills or substances which are part of this delusion can facilitate escape from it seems to me antithetical to the idea of attaining the lasting God mind, far far superior to our limited little ideas. Aside from that, be careful of shortcuts. Many very spiritual teachers warn that you will experience more suffering if you try to climb the Mt. Everest of spiritual growth without learning how to climb first from an expert in that arena.
  4. Soy has a negative effect on your thyroid gland and that's a major problem with it. It supresses thyroid hormones.
  5. @Zeitgeist That's a scare tactic. According to recent research, we are true omnivores. So meat in our diet is not poisonous to us. But I've done carnivore before for about a year until I just got so bored I couldn't look at another piece of meat. I have not had any of the problems you are talking about. In fact meat is recommended as part of an elimination diet. The last month I've gone back to eating vegetables but not strictly vegetables. Vegetables have lectins which are toxic to many species including us, and for some people the lectins just wreak havoc on their systems. I don't understand why you are trying to sell vegetarianism so hard. What we eat should not be a political issue. It's a personal issue. What matters is if your body tolerates strictly veggies or not. If you are sick every time you eat them, then the choice is up to you to eat them or not. There is no meat party and veggie party that I know of, so there is nothing to debate. Yes, I am well aware that vegetarians and meat eaters constantly argue about it, and I don't see why, personally.
  6. This is an uphill journey at times. I sometimes tire of it, having been on it for years. But as Sri Nisaragatta says: stop looking for what you already are. You are "that" even when you can't see it or the ego can't see it, rather. Ego resists at every opportunity. So you can't really announce your intentions of ridding yourself of ego, because there will be resistance of course from ego. That's when you get things that really mess up your life. I've had those periods in life too. I've learned to slow it down a bit, relax, take some time to let the ego just think you are giving up. And then without giving yourself away, you just go back to your normal meditating and other practices. It sounds like a ridiculous game. But I've watched a lot of Alan Watts' videos and he I believe practiced Buddhism had been taught this strategy by a Buddhist priest. But I've also found that reading "A Course in Miracles" really helpful. I read and studied it for at least 5 years solid and I still read when I feel I'm running on empty. It fills up the emptiness, and at the same time it straightens out the pathway. The reason this works so well is that the language of the book is not written in linear fashion like most books. The introduction is helpful but sort of dry. Then the text feels like you are reading random sentences at first, but after some further reading it begins to set off light bulb moments. Upon trying to figure out why this works, I realized the phrasing is such that it lowers the ego resistance and also confuses the ego tendency to take over and use it as a weapon. It appeals directly to the God consciousness inside. I always feel like I've had a spiritual makeover every time I pick it up again, no matter where I happen to open it. It penetrates the ego's efforts to derail you without a feeling of having to force anything. I recommend that along with meditation to keep the ego attacks to a minimum. You begin to hear the inner voice rather than the ego voice that shouts and chatters all day long. I laugh to think I was so resistant to reading it at first, I was so done with religion. But believe me, it's not a religion. It was written by a psychiatrist who began to hear this inner voice and thought she might be a mental case until she ran it by a colleague who, rather than thinking it was just a bunch of nonsense, had an epiphany, and saw that it was truly a path to inner peace. And that's how it became a book. However I believe there are free "ACIM" in pdf files from the original text on the internet if you do a search.
  7. I@Alistair Kershaw I've had multiple ego backlashes for having spiritual epiphanies. Lately I've been having a string of them. I've had approximately 3 realizations. Very key ones. I've seen how we are all one. I've seen how we appear as one dream state and can switch dream states and wake up in the midst to another one and then see the alternate just dissolve into nothingness again. My conscious never disappeared or went anywhere while this was happening. But for my "progress" if you want to call it that I've had to endure some psychological and physical backlashes. Then I stumbled on an Alan Watts' youtube (he was a really fabulous philosophy and religion lecture and professor in the hippy era from England) and he talked about what some of the great sages from Buddism and Advaita religions said about rising on the scale of spiritual growth. A Buddist priest said that there was a problem with growth in empathy, kindness, love for humanity and that was that all progress naturally invites in it's opposite. There are opposites to everything. If you look at the Tao which is thought by some to be Budda's work possibly, it lists all the positive growth one can have and for each an opposite which comes from the creation of the positive. Light/Dark, goodness/evil, strength/weakness and on and on. The pinnacle means then that you are also bringing evil into consciousness along with the good. The trick is to balance on the edge of the pinnacle but rest at the point of both good and evil and keep that balance without allowing too much good while keeping a balance so not too much evil prevails. The ultimate creator will always keep the balance just as it does the stars and planets we observe as we live out our material life. He goes into much more detail as he speaks about this principle. The video and I believe the title is something like "Stop the Chasing." That is when I realized that when we think we are benefiting the world by improving on our own characters, we may be doing harm at the same time. This has been a puzzle to me and my assumptions. You can find the video by doing a search on Alan Watts lectures.
  8. @Flowerfaeiry Ok then, you're not sweet. I can deal with that too. Maybe I should have said naive. Would that be more to your liking? lol
  9. @Flowerfaeiry You sound very sweet. But I'm afraid you threw the balance off right at the start, if you already had sex with him before he showed you he was really interested. This is how these toxic relationships get started. Other men won't tell you not to have sex unless they are your brother or some other male relation, because bros won't mess up another bro's free lunch. That's the code of the brotherhood. So you don't seem like you knew him very long? Not long enough to know whether you were more than just a booty call? Yes, guys can just go out with you or get you alone to have sex and then walk away, no attachment. Really you need to let him take the lead but you are the guardian of the key to paradise. If he really wants to see you, he knows how, believe me. But don't go handing him sex on a platter anymore, until you know if it's you he wants or just the use of your free sex service. And see how easily we get twisted and obsessed about a one time sexual encounter? That's where it all goes off the rails because girls want to take the lead which emasculates him. The balance is off kilter and it's an uphill fight to interest him unless he is truly attracted. He has you where he wants you, you're ready and waiting whenever he snaps his fingers. Don't chase him down, don't call, let him be the man next time. You're supposed to be the prey, not the other way around. He's supposed to be pursuing and you just go about your life. You were fine before him, you'll be fine after him. Go out with gfs, take a yoga class just find yourself other interests, write in a journal. Just don't wait by the phone for him to call. He's not the be all and end all in your life.
  10. @SamC Um, SamC, it is possible that Preety was not using the slang term "you're not all that" and just meant that all of those qualities may not apply to you in equal parts, and that's possible for anyone. We all have some parts that dominate over other parts.
  11. @neutralempty Here's the link to an article on how scientists judge by the intestinal and bowel structure which species has developed over time to be eat fruits and vegetables and which has developed to eat meat. The conclusion shows that by the size and development of digestive structures, human beings are omnivores. So it really comes down to a personal choice and your preferences. I personally eat keto for the most part, for a while I only ate raw vegetables but got tired of it, and added in meat. I just go by how I feel. But don't really have a huge preference. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1747-0080.2007.00194.x
  12. @neutralempty The looking to see how vegans or how carnivores have made out in the long term has been done. Some anthropologists, I think it was in a university setting, did a study of how past civilizations that were either vegan or carnivorous did over several decades as far as mortality. The vegans lost. The carnivores lived longer and overall had better health. It was part of a documentary comparing the 2 lifestyles. It's probably searchable on google.
  13. Wow, great thoughts on this subject! I'm really impressed with how many brilliant people are on these forums. Some of you framed what I was trying to say from the masculine energy side of yourselves and some of you have framed it from the female energy side of yourselves. I should append what I am communicating, to say I am only referring to the one situation that Leo brought up and not speaking for every woman on the planet. I did say women do this or that. But what I mean is the majority of women react in similar ways given the circumstances. That also depends on what culture you were brought up in. I've lived in Germany for a long period of time. And girls there are not needy at all. I and my husband were engaged there and in Germany singles often go too afternoon dancing at coffee houses. So fiance and I went there since we both liked the music and dance which gave me an education about how the girls there handle meeting a new guy, and man, they were merciless. German women often go to these places in groups and I pity the poor men who tried approaching a woman there. If his line was cheesy and his looks were sub par, there would be a roar of laughter. And a firm no thanks. Done. And he would have to step back because those are the rules. But I'm going off topic. I had one experience when I was dating that was very similar. I only had one such experience because I learned my lesson and never got myself into such awkward circumstances again. The guy was very attractive even handsome and he was driving a stunning Jaguar, my favorite car of all time. So he seemed very polite and nice and when he asked me if I wanted to take a drive in his car, I said yes. We drove around and talked and it was a lovely evening. He had the top down, the wind was blowing through our hair. We went up to a look out point and watched the sun go down. He was very pleasant. So when he asked if I wanted to stop by where he lived at his mother's house I felt it would be safe having his mom around, so I went along with it even though it was a little weird to meet his mom on the very first sort of date. When we got there he introduced his mom and sister and ordered them to leave us and go to their rooms which made me quite uncomfortable. We sat on the couch and watched t.v. but he started moving closer, putting his arm around me and pulling me close. I was only 18 and he was older, but at this point I was figuring out what he was up to. Even though he was good looking, tan and had a smooth approach he, was urging me to relax and lay back. That put me on high alert because he was forcing me back on the couch with his body weight and trying to run his hand up under my skirt while I was fighting him. I could think of nothing to get away gracefully, so I just pushed him off, jumped up and said I would like to go home now. He had to drive me because my car was parked at home. So he did very grudgingly and he went off on me about personal stuff like female hygiene all the way home. When we pulled up to my house, I did not wait. I just jumped out of his car and slammed the door. I didn't have to say don't ever call me. He already knew. He had a game. It was called luring young women in with his charm and his flashy car, and then trying to force them to have sex. It was scary I have to say because I was his sacrificial lamb for the night and I knew I was better than that. I had dates lined up every weekend Friday and Saturday nights. But the thing about his game was that he got too pushy and demanding to the point of making me feel I was in danger and in fact could have easily gotten raped even with his mother in the house. That is the last thing you want to feel with a man. The sexual attraction was gone gone gone and all I could think about was survival. You will never get a girl when you play her that way. Sexual attraction just dies when it is forced and not allowed to blossom. If you pry a flower apart in the budding stage, it just curls up and turns brown. That is how you kill the attraction just as sure if you'd stomped on it and ground it into the dirt. She will no longer have any feeling toward you. You can go home after that, it just isn't going to work.
  14. What a smart group of people Leo has assembled here on his forum. Leo who has attracted a group of advanced, experiencers with those who are less experienced so that we can all help one another has done a brilliant job and raised awareness of mankind which I like most. I enjoyed every comment here and benefited by many of them, some more, some less. But the whole group is top notch. I do want you to succeed Leo although at times I may not sound like it. So, because my husband is a very open person and doesn't hide his opinion from anyone (he is German, born and bred there, and everyone there is opinionated and does not shy away from speaking out honestly and he was quite the chick magnet prior to marriage) I asked him his opinion of your video. What he said was not something I would enjoy telling you. He isn't into spirituality at all. So he puts his unvarnished opinions right out there. He hasn't seen any of your videos either except this one. However, in the mildest terms I can think of he said upon watching your video and dating concepts that you are delusional and at first glance he wouldn't date you either. As I've said here before, it comes down to looks. Women have a certain ideal of who they would like to get with just like men. He said you looked shady, and untrustworthy and your facial features were out of balance and your teeth bothered him (sadly that is an expensive fix). Now this was only one person's opinion, so it won't matter what he said or thinks to you. But women are not oblivious to looks just as men aren't oblivious. And nothing will change that just as I can't expect you or any other man to change his basic operating system to suit mine. Okay, we can all use some help with our looks. I'm not a gorgeous hollywood beauty. And you are not the standard leading movie star type handsome guy. But I use makeup and have my hair styled. I've had a makeup artist teach me which features you can accent and what colors bring out the best features. These weren't expensive fixes. The makeup artist I saw was a coupon deal but he did makeup for our local t.v. news announcers, the hair stylist was a one time deal because I found a cheaper stylist who did the same style for me for about 2/3 less than the other stylist. No I'm not recommending you use makeup, although there are products specifically made for men to appear naturally more handsome like face cream that gives you a tanned look (and I don't mean the orange tan like Trump wears). I'm just saying the more you enhance your looks the more you go up in value to a woman. A good looking man is a status symbol for a woman. She can brag about him to her gfs. It shows she is a woman of value. Women will allow a handsome man many more chances than a plain ordinary guy whose pale head appears to float mysteriously in a black void. Why? Because his value rose when he improved on his looks. Would it make sense for someone selling a house to leave it behind for viewing with a backed up toilet, pealing paint, rusted gutters, cracks in the foundation, termite damage, and a yard with nothing but overgrown weeds? This is where I agree with the market value of in our surrealistic dream world. I'm in no way dissing God here, because the creator of all that is and I and you and all beings are Dreamers of the dreamworld (or worlds if you like) together equally. So in your perspective if you are interesting and funny and doing well in a popular internet platform, that is enough. But in fact it's only average enough. The cornerstone, in the dating world is looks. The rest are add ons. So you are now trying to sell this house of yours without the foundation it needs. The price of your house, to you in the going market seems to sync up. But to the average buyers it isn't worth the money to accept a house with a cracked foundation, rusting gutters, a yard that needs work and an exterior that needs a paint job etc. They'd rather pay a bit more for a house that won't require a complete over haul for something with more value built in. Your buyers, Leo, are women. You aren't a lost cause by any means. But when I say you've gotten ahead with what you offer in your market, i.e. dating and sex, wouldn't it be less work and more fun to have women handing you their phone numbers or falling into your arms unsolicited? I can 99.9% guarantee that women would not be making lame excuses (what you like to label "games") for why they can't sleep with you. We are born with the intuition to feel, to have a sense about what you are trying to hide. Why do kids say their moms have eyes in the back of their heads? Because we have an intuitive feel for what they are up to. We have to, to protect our babies. If you want to label our intuition BS, be my guest. I see where this Meta philosophy can be a great "out" for less than ethical ideals. If a woman is highly sexually attracted, you won't have to jump through hoops. Which is why I still say, I don't believe the girl in your example was attracted sexually. Some women will give up and give in because you have made yourself a pest, maybe even an entertaining pest, so they tolerate you because they had nothing else going on. But don't flatter yourself that they are all sexually attracted even if they think you somewhat witty and go along with your little charade pretending you are more interesting than they actually think. It's flattering to her for someone to show an interest, so why not encourage him? But when you stray into badgering territory then you are suddenly persona non grata. And I still say if you had actually grabbed her and cornered her in the bathroom, in my state of Washington at least, she could have cried rape on you for non-consensual sex. You didn't have the foundation you needed for your value to be high enough to her in this case. It is the egoic mind that requires you to defend your position to the bitter end. I am dreaming this now along with you, and ego has been quite skillful at convincing me to pound my point home. But I'm going to shut my pie hole instead now. I've said too much all ready.
  15. My husband was a smoker and I didn't mind it when we were in Europe where everyone smokes. But moving back to the states did it for me. We started our family and that's when I started to hate it. Our son began having coughing spasms and I was sure it was the smoking that did it. He became motivated because of that and agreed to go to the garage to smoke. Then he had to go outside at work to smoke and he hated that since he's a workaholic. So he finally got motivated. He bought a program to quit smoking which included a CD he could listen to on the way to work. A lot of it was hypnosis mixed with aversion therapy. He followed it faithfully and it worked. He'd been smoking 35 years. Anyway, people like your dad who stubbornly hang onto a habit are actually good candidates for reverse psychology. Start giving him props for the habit. Tell him you've been thinking of taking the habit up. Tell him he's going to be one of those cool old guys, like mafia with their hats and their cigarettes smoking outside a restaurant somewhere plotting some murder or other. Anything positive you can think of about it is what you need to say. I'm sure he loves you, so if you imply it might be effecting your lungs, but wtf, you're in an age group that doesn't get the covid, right, he might start thinking seriously about being a stubborn, selfish old sob. But keep in mind the more you dis him for it, the more determined he will be to hang on. He has to be motivated before he tries to quit or it won't work. You could mention casually that you guess quitting won't work for him anyway because he just wouldn't be strong enough to do it. Give him that as an excuse and he will get competitive and motivated as well to prove he can quit.