intotheblack

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  1. Yes maybe just by changing things up a bit and doing things separately would help! Also you could discuss where you see the relationship headed long term. I don’t know your girlfriend but most times when I feel stressed or unhappy with life is because I feel I have no direction. It could be that she feels the relationship isn’t headed to a destination so then that makes her lack motivation? If she has said before that she wasn’t happy in the relationship what was the reason?
  2. You must be an empath But I think it’s normal that if you are in a relationship and love someone that you feel their emotions too. They become a part of you. As long as you both have a strong sense of self and your own interests this wouldn’t b a problem. even though we live together we spend most of the time in separate rooms. He would be working and I was on furlough so would just be doing my own thing. I think that’s why lockdown caused so many couples to break up because they hadn’t spent that much time together before. Taking long holidays together before living together would be a good test. You just have to be careful who you choose to spend your time with, this would happen with anyone you hang around with. That’s why so many people turn into their parents..
  3. @Farnaby how is the rest of the intimacy in the relationship.. like confiding in eachother and being emotional together? Are you often physically intimate? Intimacy isn’t just meaning sex. how often do you see eachother? Me and my boyfriend have been through a dry spell lately. We live together and we had been in lockdown since December.. but this came from both sides. We simply just didn’t feel in the mood to have sex.. there was no pressure from either side. We joked about us not having sex.. we didn’t have sex for nearly 6 weeks lol We talked about it a few times and came to the conclusion that: we were home all the time, and simply didn’t feel sexy We cuddle and kiss a lot, so are having physical touch needs met consistently We are always talking to eachother We were feeling lazy and couldn’t be bothered to have sex I think as long as you are having other needs met then sex isn’t a huge issue, but it’s important to make effort. It’s also important to talk openly about it. If your girlfriend says she feels stressed, maybe think about what you could do to take some of the weight off her In other ways, like cooking a nice meal or giving her a massage.
  4. If you want timeless tips this is a good book. The late Glenn O’Brien was the ‘style guy’ at GQ for years.
  5. Yes I think I remember answering some questions on there.. I just didn’t like how there was no control over who can message you. I think these dating apps can be good for if you moved to a new city and wanting to meet new people. Which is what I used it for. This was around 2016/2017 and I just found people to be very flakey so I started going to meet up groups also. I wouldn’t use it in my small hometown because you see too many people that know you, from school or going out etc
  6. I want to get a tattoo removed that I got some years ago and now I don’t like it. I’ve heard mixed things about whether it works or not or what kind of damage can be done - like scarring. did anyone have a tattoo removed? I’m holding out hope that some new technology will come out in the future that can instantly remove tattoos without any damage.
  7. Is that on okcupid? I did try going on there years ago but I felt like a lamb sent out to the wolves.. you get flooded with messages and anyone can contact you. But I was talking more about tinder - that turned into an ego booster for the people trying to get likes. Male and female. Using it to get Instagram follows... or... depending where you live, people are in open relationships and looking for side chicks. I totally think that some people can get lucky and meet a genuine person, I know people that met eachother through online dating and started a relationship... but this was 5-10 years ago, when people took online dating seriously and were searching for a partner.... those days are gone it’s all about hook ups now.
  8. And the guys click ‘like’ on every girl, just to try and get as many matches as possible. The more matches = ego boost a guy I used to work with would sit on his phone liking until his likes ran out for the day.. not even looking at the profiles. Just like a robot. Lol. I also understand why some guys do this though, because they might get less matches in general, so liking all photos increases their chance. But I’ve seen the more egotistical side of it.. just swiping to get matches and follows on Instagram and not really caring about connecting with someone
  9. You’re thinking of the binge drinking types also, because so many people are on welfare in the uk, you will find more of these types in the impoverished areas. living in poverty, drinking too much alcohol and eating bad food, high rate of teen pregnancies, cycle repeats. just worse in the uk because the government keeps throwing money at them, so there is no incentive to get out and better themselves. a lot of places in the uk are still in stage red.
  10. @ertopolice yes forget the online dating As @Preety_India said meetings in real life are the best way, online dating is very shallow and it seems you aren’t looking for something like that. It wastes a lot of time. the problem with trying to find someone in your small town is that there is the ‘small town mentality’ going on.. where everyone knows eachother somehow, and either you get married or you’re seen as being ‘on the shelf’ after a certain age. There is a lot of peer pressure. And if you do meet someone, chances are someone already knows them or knows some gossip about them! this is how the small town that I grew up in was like, so I’m assuming other small towns are like this lol. Travel is one of the best ways to meet people... nobody knows who you are, you can strike up a conversation with a random person and not worry about seeing them again if you don’t want to. Then one day you might get talking to someone and you connect with them. And even if you meet nobody, you still have this travel experience. I met my boyfriend whilst we were both staying in a hostel together
  11. Would you consider moving somewhere else? If not then travel as soon as you can, even a weekend trip.
  12. Fetishes develop from childhood wounds.. If someone is into sadism, and get sexual satisfaction from giving pain then they have some deep trauma going on and are trying to feed some unconscious need from childhood.. Of course simply experimenting and trying some light fetish for fun is fine. Like tying eachother up and wearing latex.
  13. This lady is so full of wisdom.. why it’s so important to take ownership of your relationships and take the other person as a part of you.. learn the difference between true ownership and its shadow side - possession