Never see her as an object in your game.

She does not owe you anything. She is a free divine creator and she can do whatever she wants. Love her as that. Do not try to restrict her in order to fit your agenda.

That is all you need.

I was tortured by the never-ending stream of fear, feelings, visions and thoughts of physical torture during my time in hell. Infinite torture was my greatest fear and I faced this fear non-stop for about 18 months while I was dead.
I no longer fear physical pain. I am liberated from the fear of physical pain forever. Physical pain is now my great ally. I am forever safe. I am liberated.
 

Yes. You dream up all awakenings except your own.
There is only one awakening in all of existence.
To awaken is to realize that you dreamed up the entire universe. Period. When this happens, you become God. Your experience is the only thing that exists at that point.
This is beyond what any spiritual teacher is teaching you.

Understanding is the upward.