Loving Radiance

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About Loving Radiance

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    Berlin, Germany
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  1. September 25th: I go to make lunch with my friends. Ringing the door bell. I greet and hug my friend as she opens the door. No me acting. It just flows. No control. Then the organizing mind comes back to discuss where to make lunch.
  2. Just you flume telling the night in such a beautiful way was like a million bucks. And then I had to read the first half of flowboy's view to to make it click. There are two sides??? 🤯😍 MINDBLOWING. Pure. Out. Of. This. World. I mean OMG. I am so happy for you two moving together Love love love
  3. @Consilience Very well said. Today with a psilocybin dose a bit above microdose it was recognized that they deepen consciousness and at the same time make thoughts etc more interesting & enticing in nature. Deepened consciousness allows for clearer recognition of forms of any kind, so it balances out somehow. Like going to a fair and being lucid about all the colorful attractions. Btw, the questions were more meant to deconstruct the separation between things. I will edit that. @Porphyry Fedotov Oh yeah, that's also common for me on an existential level rather than visuals.
  4. @Inception Interesting share. Thanks! What do you mean by that?
  5. @Muhammad Jawad It is not possible for me to understand you because you speak a mix of English and Urdu (?) in the video. That also goes for the one you posted in the shamanic breathing mega thread.
  6. The difference between normal and abnormal breaks down. Consciousness really is fluid. Yesterday after meditating for a bit I focused on the wall and carpet while I sat in my doctor's waiting room. So many colors appeared. Well, things as usual. But when the focus was on the carpet certain parts were moving almost like in a shroom trip. It wasn't controlled from intent, just the pure focus on it made waves come into perception. At times the whole carpet in front of me was full of slow moving waves. There were attempts to control the flow of the waves, but they moved on their own. In the past I witnessed this kind on a meditation retreat with the lawn where the grass moved wavelike in the wind. There was intense focus and the undulating movement was noticed of all the individual blades of grass appearing like sprinkling of undefined color standing out from the blank canvas of the lawn. Pointers for myself or you to deconstruct the separations: Is there really a difference between the carpet and the grass moving? Is there a difference between stillness and movement? Is there a difference between noticing waves moving on their own without controlling their movement and waves moving on their own from the wind? Is there really a cause called focus and a cause called wind? Is there really a difference between a meditative focused mind and a tripping mind? Is there a difference between experience right now and experience in memory?
  7. Nice, already crazy. What a relief.
  8. @Leo Gura Concerning the alien view on reality thing (reality is not normal) you mentioned at the end: Sometimes I feel like going insane when recognizing in direct experience (not intellectually but experientially) that this body is so weird it is alien. This alien-cosmic feel also came when it was thought about how reality is infinite and this finite experience is almost non-existent in infinity. Then there was a shift in the body that this experience is not human. That this body was never alive. Felt outerworldly. How to differentiate between going insane and genuinely expanding your mind? These things happen without intention. There's just curiosity to explore and contemplate just for the joy of it.
  9. Focus on the ususal sensation like warmth, tingling and blood circulation. Even if you don't feel anything, just listen to the absence of sensation like if you'd listen to silence. That's curious. It was the first one I felt and there wasn't even an intention to get to feel it.
  10. I searched the books at https://www.erowid.org/library/books_online/shulgin_labbooks/ and nothing came out. So, it can be said that it was not Alexander Shulgin's work.
  11. September 16th: I'm at a friends place and I hear a knock on the window. I open it and she is there asking me to give her a jacket through the window. While she speaks I look into her eyes. There is no knowing what all this means. No one is speaking to no one. No meaning. I understand. I got to watch out that her young cat doesn't jump through the window while I give her a jacket.
  12. @Jaja57 Oh yeah. 3g is too much IMO. A smaller dose of 1-1.5g can be much more transformation because you can be more focused on your intention. Higher doses can be like drifting in the ocean without orientation. You want to be in very specific waters with your intention.
  13. @Jaja57 Write down your intention. Write down questions regarding the intention. During the come up contemplate on your intention. Let go of it, if it doesn't feel right at a certain point and trust that you are going into the direction of being transformed. When entities may arise feel into yourself how they feel to you regardless of appearance. If you feel good in their presence, then you can ask them about your intention how they can help you. On the comedown read your questions and answer them. Answer the question "How do I let that knowing of dealing with social anxiety & trauma flow into my daily life when I'm unconscious or when I'm acting out on old behaviors?"
  14. @flowboy Wow I didn't know true masters would care to be on this forum. I am honored. "Hey pssst, hey kiddo, wanna join my religion of boofing blessed mushrooms?"
  15. Habe you tried boofing shrooms?