Ingit

Hi everyone, Recently I hv a very good friend of mine, she has paranoid schizophrenia I don’t know why but probably she had some emotional breakdown during his personal life with a guy maybe I guess as she told me something yesterday about her story in short steps... she sent me videos about how she feels and I was completely into her like I could feel how bad she feels... I get triggered too yesterday night as My Mind swirled thoughts of how I have been cheated too by someone... and on the other hand thoughts like my friend has been heart broken by someone and how could someone do this to her cuz she is so beautiful and how she is suffering a lot...Eventually I wasn’t aboe to sleep at night early as my mind was occupied with thoughts about her and also my ex.... the same bad bad very bad feelings when I broke up with my gf... i need some suggestions about the same feelings coming again and being uneasy with them... thanks

@Shin 🙄🙄 So ypu are afraid to face your truth too as do I....

Help me tackle the fear and Ignoring the difficult situation.....! I ignore them all time

😂😂 how do I made fun of you?

yes yes,,,,,, I am very very very afraid to face my truths and reality,,,,,, I keep on avoiding that fear,...….that scary feeling is so deep,,,,,,Any suggestions on how to deal with that feeling of fear...

FOr the update: Last night the same friend was threatening me About how I dont play online games with him and ignore him when I play with girls as he think... he abused me last night and also threatened me that will fight when I meet him... so I told him to just f off and i dont want to talk and waste my energy and Blocked him....

@Aeris if you ask me.... i feel good at the very moment after I hurt pople and after sometime I regret a lot.

@Shin Today Morning as I was on bed trying to wake up... I heard my Mom yelling about somethings.. and soon all the tension fear very very bad feelings came up and I was there seeing them and I became so confused with them... I hardly was able to differentiate any and A lots of suffering going inside my head that felt so painful to sit beside and watch 🥺

@Ero I get what you saying.... I am worried if that my own darkness ever bring me a psychotic episode...

@Shin there is a constant voice all over the day inside telling me, ‘ its I causing the problems let it go, why wont you let go of yourself’’and I am like stressed cuz Its feels hard to let go...

just feel I can’t, giving up on identity feels like building up a huge amount of resistance that causes headaches and tension around my head areas....I wonder why it is not easy !!!! On the other part I try to force my identity go....and troubles me more and more... because I think if I not force it go it wont go.. 🤥

I want to know the funny thing ?!

Two days before while I was meditating (20min session daily) in bw the session I felt like prickling itching sensation all over my skin as I just thoughg that was some Body response, I juat cant handle it so That day I quitted my meditation in bw(14 minutes)...Like allergic response(Seriously i dont have any allergies) and Today: Was just meditating as just rembered I encountered certain anxious feeling type and all of a sudden that same prickling sensation came that was so intense like I need to scratch all my body, like there was lots of needles pricking all over my skin... I don’t know how i managed with that but kept focusing my breath and at the same time there was a slight gag and my mouth was drooling from saliva.... and then after around a period of 3 minutes my sensation of like I need scratching became less and over and then I ended up my complete 20 minutes meditation session...wondering what happened

Yes Maybe I need to get on my beliefs on

Nowadays I am contemplating on the thing which claims the identity of speaking ‘I, me,’ in every sentences and Everytime I choose to see what it is, I see it concentrating at a point in my head and then the words stop and then again starts... At some point i feel that I am the body harvesting that thing which is speaking!!!