Leo, why do you socialize?

[NoN-RaTiOnAL]

Im struggeling for a while now with socializing. 
i find 90% of my interactions are ABSOLUTE BOREDOM and fakery.. meaningless ping-pong of bullshit.. when its funny i can enjoy it more but most of the time its not even truly funny, i just pretend to laugh to fit in.. im talking about relationships, family and even friends sometimes. 

im not the most social guy in the table for sure but also not the most shy and introverted guy. im definetly not a socialization ninja but i can handle conversations quite fine and without anxiety and shit.. i just dont truly enjoy it.. and lately i cannot stop myself from asking "why? why do i even bother? its so lame and full of phony people doing foolish things and concerned with banal things.. i dont find people and their opinions interesting so why do i even try?" 
 
could someone please enlighten me here with some higher perspective? 
why do you enjoy socializing? what do you find exciting about it? 


P.S
oh lord save me from thy stupid misery and from foolish social activities

[Majed]

@NoN-RaTiOnAL to get laid 

[mr_engineer]

If you don't want to socialize, don't socialize. It's that simple. 

The simplest way to fix your social life is to not worry about it until you start feeling lonely. Then, you will start to know the kind of social-life and community-life that you want and you will have that as your objective, socially. This will help you sort through the petty bullshit and find people who you resonate with. My point is that once you get to this point, you won't get lost in the petty bullshit of socialization anymore. 

HTH!!  

[Shawn Philips]

You find your interactions boring and fake because you dont have genuine interest to the other person, and vice versa.

I'm sure if you talk with somebody who you admire for example favourite actor, singer, sportsman youd enjoy the interaction.

Don't feel the obligation of interaction because it's a social duty, fuck society. Only when you want to and feel it. This way is a natural non-fake socializing.

[hoodrow trillson]

 

4 hours ago, NoN-RaTiOnAL said:

Im struggeling for a while now with socializing. 
i find 90% of my interactions are ABSOLUTE BOREDOM and fakery.. meaningless ping-pong of bullshit.. when its funny i can enjoy it more but most of the time its not even truly funny, i just pretend to laugh to fit in.. im talking about relationships, family and even friends sometimes. 

im not the most social guy in the table for sure but also not the most shy and introverted guy. im definetly not a socialization ninja but i can handle conversations quite fine and without anxiety and shit.. i just dont truly enjoy it.. and lately i cannot stop myself from asking "why? why do i even bother? its so lame and full of phony people doing foolish things and concerned with banal things.. i dont find people and their opinions interesting so why do i even try?" 
 
could someone please enlighten me here with some higher perspective? 
why do you enjoy socializing? what do you find exciting about it? 


P.S
oh lord save me from thy stupid misery and from foolish social activities

 

It sounds like you need to get your own head out of your ass.  It's like a form of projection because you cannot bring anything funny or nice to the table yourself when socializing with other people -- So you deem it stupid = "I am smart and this is pointless and dumb, I win!"  Yet, you seem like you WANT to socialize with others and enjoy it (because I'm sure you're aware that people look like they have fun when socializing) but it is ultimately YOU who is limiting your own self.  Once you get over yourself and realize this, everything comes naturally.  

 

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, NoN-RaTiOnAL said:

meaningless ping-pong of bullshit..

That's the best description of socializing that I've ever heard.

Exactly! Now go enjoy some ping-pong

Stop being so serious. Be deep on your own time, and be goofy when out in public. Be a wise goofball.

Edited October 9, 2022 by Leo Gura

[UnbornTao]

Don't frame socialization so negatively. It seems to me that in your case finding like-minded individuals would be most helpful.

Consider: How did it feel like to interact with your best friend? For me, it's always been generally positive. So, try to find a new group of friends if that's what you want.

Learn to make intimate relationships enlivening, with the right people for you.

Edited October 20, 2022 by UnbornTao

[Hello from Russia]

It becomes better if you find your tribe

The problem is that it's hard to talk with 95-99% people about serious things because they are just deeply ignorant and undereveloped and just have no clue

Or they have very different values than you do and then just defend them dogmatically like devils 

Then all you are left to do is to be playful and joke about stuff as when you start talking about something serious it quickly turns into a shit storm if you truly decide to voice your opinion

Edited October 10, 2022 by Hello from Russia

[Roy]

Even as a hardcore introvert who would rather be done with everything and float in a spacesuit in the void for eternity............,................... I have to admit life without other people is pretty shit.

Edited October 10, 2022 by Roy

[petar8p]

11 hours ago, NoN-RaTiOnAL said:

i find 90% of my interactions are ABSOLUTE BOREDOM and fakery.. meaningless ping-pong of bullshit..

What about 10%? 

What about top 1% of 10%?

Find out if you don't know it can be hella fulfilling..

[aurum]

11 hours ago, NoN-RaTiOnAL said:

Im struggeling for a while now with socializing. 
i find 90% of my interactions are ABSOLUTE BOREDOM and fakery.. meaningless ping-pong of bullshit.. when its funny i can enjoy it more but most of the time its not even truly funny, i just pretend to laugh to fit in.. im talking about relationships, family and even friends sometimes. 

im not the most social guy in the table for sure but also not the most shy and introverted guy. im definetly not a socialization ninja but i can handle conversations quite fine and without anxiety and shit.. i just dont truly enjoy it.. and lately i cannot stop myself from asking "why? why do i even bother? its so lame and full of phony people doing foolish things and concerned with banal things.. i dont find people and their opinions interesting so why do i even try?" 
 
could someone please enlighten me here with some higher perspective? 
why do you enjoy socializing? what do you find exciting about it? 


P.S
oh lord save me from thy stupid misery and from foolish social activities

That can happen, but socializing does exist on a spectrum.

On one end of the spectrum, extreme banality, gossip, and general low consciousness behavior.

On the other end of the spectrum, you actually can have higher quality social interactions with people.

But if you're so focused on how you don't enjoy it, you likely never will. No one ever enjoyed socializing while sitting there thinking about how much they don't enjoy socializing. You have to buy in to the idea at least somewhat that socializing can actually be fun and fulfilling.

[NoN-RaTiOnAL]

appreciate the comments, i thought more about it
i do enjoy some social activities because there i actually hang out with people i enjoy their company (some of my close friends) and i can enjoy myself and be authentic, talk about things that actually make me laugh and share and listen to intersting stories. 
on the other hand, most interactions in my daily life (workplace, family especially, my gf family) are so freaking BORING i feel like my spirit is being molested to be this normal dude sitting there eating some rice and chicken and talking about daily news and i fucking hate it.. but what can i do? its family, i have some sort of obligation toward them. 

should i try be more authentic around people in the family and workplace? i think they just dont get it and judge me.. if i even declare i am doing spirituality in my life from their pov it would be "hi mama and papa, im mentally ill and in need of urgent help" 
maybe i should keep more distance and see them less often then i do now.. 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, NoN-RaTiOnAL said:

i feel like my spirit is being molested to be this normal dude sitting there eating some rice and chicken and talking about daily news and i fucking hate it.. but what can i do? its family, i have some sort of obligation toward them.

Move out from family, limit your exposure to them, and pursue your life purpose.

Once you are pursuing your life purpose you will no longer need to use socialization to scratch that itch for depth. The problem is that you're not scratching that itch in your life's work. So fix that. Then you will be able to socialize better.

Edited October 10, 2022 by Leo Gura

[aurum]

1 hour ago, NoN-RaTiOnAL said:

on the other hand, most interactions in my daily life (workplace, family especially, my gf family) are so freaking BORING i feel like my spirit is being molested to be this normal dude sitting there eating some rice and chicken and talking about daily news and i fucking hate it.. but what can i do? its family, i have some sort of obligation toward them. 

Well yeah.

Family is tough since most of us are not willing to abandon our families even if we don’t particular like hanging out with them. But you also don’t have to spend excessive time with them. You can keep it to the essentials, like holidays and birthdays.

Workplace is also tough since the main priority of most workplaces in not authenticity, it’s to produce for the company. And you have to go there to survive. So you could either find a better workplace or start building a life purpose to become financially independent. 

[Arthogaan]

1 hour ago, NoN-RaTiOnAL said:

its family, i have some sort of obligation toward them. 

You don't. You did not ask them to fuck and give you birth. You do not owe them anything.

Which does not mean that when you become fully detached from them eventually, you can't pour them with love.

[Axiomatic]

life isnt that serious 

[flowboy]

On 10/10/2022 at 9:19 AM, Leo Gura said:

Once you are pursuing your life purpose you will no longer need to use socialization to scratch that itch for depth.

wow!

Edited October 13, 2022 by flowboy

[ZenSwift]

On 10/9/2022 at 1:20 PM, Leo Gura said:

Stop being so serious. Be deep on your own time, and be goofy when out in public. Be a wise goofball.

 Love this.