Fearless_Bum

What are your Biggest Sticking Points on the Path?

45 posts in this topic

Being constantly torn between "THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I HAVE EVER DISCOVERED!!" and "This is complete fucking bullshit."

Both sentiments seem to get stronger and stronger with every passing day... 


Why so serious?

 

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12 minutes ago, Bazooka Jesus said:

Being constantly torn between "THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I HAVE EVER DISCOVERED!!" and "This is complete fucking bullshit."

Both sentiments seem to get stronger and stronger with every passing day... 

@Bazooka Jesus lol, you mean to day that you feel at bliss at times and then your mood drastically shifts?

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5 hours ago, Bojan V said:

But seriously, my main issue are persistend intrusive thoughts. I didn't have it earlier in my life, but by now this is going on daily, many years.

The content of these intrusive thoughts is  fascinating, interesting, disturbing, chaotic and scary at the same time. The thoughts are so fast as well! They are bizzare, misterious, some of them violent. The violent thoughts are the most disturbing to me. I have to say i am an introspective and selfobservant person, so i came to a few conclusions why they appear in that way.

I found out experientialy, that on the spiritual journey i have to deal with ALL repressed unconscious shadow aspects of myself. However, i resisted with the acceptance of my shadow so the shadow is showing up to me in that way to finaly deal with it and heal it.

...and this, of course. 


Why so serious?

 

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38 minutes ago, Fearless_Bum said:

@Bazooka Jesus lol, you mean to day that you feel at bliss at times and then your mood drastically shifts?

Well, sometimes it just seems like one big circle jerk, a journey to nowhere, much ado about nothing at all...

...which, of course, is exactly what it is. Heh.

Edited by Bazooka Jesus

Why so serious?

 

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My struggle with the spiritual process is the idea of me struggling with the spiritual process. The more translucent I become, the less struggle there is. The end of struggle is the end of me.


Just because God loves you doesn't mean it is going to shape the cosmos to suit you. God loves you so much that it will shape you to suit the cosmos.

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1 hour ago, Fearless_Bum said:

@Consilience there is no such thing as suffering. Transcend fear? What do you mean transcend fear? 

The very assumption that there even is a fear to transcend is false. You're creating ghosts and running in circles. I'm only being honest ?, why fool you into thinking you gotta do all this work? I would never do such a torturous thing, I fell into that trap for years, no sir. 

That’s the thing, you aren’t being honest.

If the conditions of your life radically shifted, you’d be suffering. The fact that you're ignorant of this is itself suffering. All the stories you say and tell on an internet forum don’t mean shit when the real rubber hits the road. 

By transcend fear I mean let fear filter through experience without experience fighting with itself, which entails the cessation of resisting the resistance towards fear. Feeling fear so deeply it’s seen to be utterly empty, fleeting, free, and impersonal, along with death and pain, an authentic (honest) seeing that reality was never fighting with itself.

Thinking the work is torturous is just a game of the ego mind. The ego mind wants nothing more than to avoid the conditions which give rise to its end.

This is beautiful, wondrous work. And in fact, there is no choice of whether it gets done or not. All karma. The act of sitting down to meditate is a movement of reality, the grace of God. I feel incredibly fortunate to have been bestowed this grace - it is not only for my benefit, but the benefit of all sentient beings. If you think you’re done, can get away with believing your way out of it, cool. There may not be consequences now or in this lifetime even, but this too shall pass. 

All the love. 

Edited by Consilience

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32 minutes ago, Moksha said:

My struggle with the spiritual process is the idea of me struggling with the spiritual process. The more translucent I become, the less struggle there is. The end of struggle is the end of me.

@Moksha yes sir!  

You and struggle are very closely related, perhaps the there's no separation between the fear/struggle and you. ?

19 minutes ago, Consilience said:

That’s the thing, you aren’t being honest.

If the conditions of your life radically shifted, you’d be suffering. The fact that you're ignorant of this is itself suffering. All the stories you say and tell on an internet forum don’t mean shit when the real rubber hits the road. 

@Consilience there is no suffering my friend sorry to break it to you. I was once like you thinking along the same lines, sounds like you're repeating something someone else has said ?. 

I don't know, just a hunch. 

Well as you were sir ?, good luck to you. 

I swear I really was once like you, I knew friends who said things similar to what I'm saying now and I would get triggered by it, took great humility to let go of "the work".

Edited by Fearless_Bum

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Beating myself up for not being as spiritual as I want to be or in other words, accepting when my ego is taking over and being fine with it.

That's really challenging.


"Sometimes when it's dark - we have to be the light in our own tunnel"

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24 minutes ago, Fearless_Bum said:

@Consilience there is no suffering my friend sorry to break it to you. I was once like you thinking along the same lines, sounds like you're repeating something someone else has said ?. 

I don't know, just a hunch. 

Well as you were sir ?, good luck to you. 

I swear I really was once like you, I knew friends who said things similar to what I'm saying now and I would get triggered by it, took great humility to let go of "the work".

There's nothing to apologize for.

This is actually not something someone else has said, my own analysis after reading/listening to hours upon hours of various spiritual masters both dead and live ones, as well as hours upon hours of my own meditation practice, psychedelic trips, contemplations, and observations of other sentient beings. Funny enough, your rhetoric sounds like some kind of classic Neo Advaita bs. Just a hunch as well though. 

Again, if the conditions of your life radically shifted you would be eating these words. If you think you've seen through the illusion of suffering, I would challenge you. I hope life never puts this claim of yours to the test in your own experience, or if it does, I pray you have the inner resources to meet it with the consciousness you claim. 

Ultimately, only you can face life's pain and the ultimate teacher, death. I wish you luck as well. 

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@Fearless_Bum I've learned a wonderful lesson today, thanks to you. Never to share for the first time on the forum my most intimate struggles, because some narcissist will come pretending he cares and "understands" while at the same time telling me he "loves" me and playing wisdom games to avoiding his own shadows. You can have your "love". I don't need it.

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@BlackMaze makes sense, arises a lot on the path. 

We can tend to spiritual bypass sometimes (I know I did) and look down on relationships, but relationships are awesome, I'd suggest building good friendships, have people to talk to. 

@Consilience oh also, I want to make clear that pain and suffering are two different things. Suffering is of thought, pain is something that can only occur right now. We may have had a misunderstanding here, I can be living in a war torn city, I can be bleeding to death screaming in pain, but that isn't suffering. 

Just remembered and wanted to share that last bit. 

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Realizing how untasty and boring healthy food can be ? 

It took me a lot of time to learn how to make delicious healthy meals, I still struggle with it tho.


Those you do not forgive you fear. 

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On 2021-11-06 at 9:17 AM, Salvijus said:

Realizing how untasty and boring healthy food can be ? 

It took me a lot of time to learn how to make delicious healthy meals, I still struggle with it tho.

Haha :)

Yea true, but there always more healthy foods and groceries to discover, no matter what Diet, even a restricted vegan diet.

Edited by Vincent S

“Life is just a break from an Infinite Orgasm. Prolong your break for as long as you want. Ride that wave. But don’t forget where you're headed.”

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7 hours ago, Bojan V said:

@Fearless_Bum I've learned a wonderful lesson today, thanks to you. Never to share for the first time on the forum my most intimate struggles, because some narcissist will come pretending he cares and "understands" while at the same time telling me he "loves" me and playing wisdom games to avoiding his own shadows. You can have your "love". I don't need it.

Smart! 

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13 hours ago, Consilience said:

What have you “gained” as a result of your practice if no glimpses? What do you define as glimpses? 

no desire to interfere with the world any longer, i have learned we must craft our own path, if i give you an idea more often than not it will be a disservice to you and may prevent you from finding the answer within, i am ever more in a not knowing state, throwing away everything i thought was useful, if a question arises i think of it afresh and have no use for memory, each day i am more a nobody but not swayed or dismayed in any way

glimpses for me is - who knows - some kind of no mind mystical state, a peek at the truth that i give everything for, a taste of oneness perhaps

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