Dating a suicidal person

[Preety_India]

Just now, Marcel said:

This is about the fact that i pushed everybody far away from me, nobody was able to get close to me.

I refused all help and support and craved it at the same time.

Because you didn't have me. 

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Marcel said:

There was a constant tug of war in my head, and any relationship would have turned toxic over time, especially when you now also factor in that i had terrible coping mechanisms and massive anger issues that i did not have under control whatsoever back then.

You really had anger issues? 

 

[Marcel]

@Preety_India

It was more like an unhealthy coping mechanism. But yes, i´d call it anger issues.

Whenever i got emotional i turned super angry and loud. 

I was not the type to throw things around but i sometimes screamed at the top of my lungs.

I could not take any criticism or compliments, oddly enough, everything felt like a personal attack against me.

I have it mostly under control nowadays, but it was quite intense back then.

 

[hamedsf]

if you're a gorgeous girl and still helping him get out of that shitty situation, I should say bravo to you. 

but if things doesn't work in the long run (like it's been a year and he's still stuck), warn her and if he doesn't take it seriously, maybe it's time to part ways.

[mememe]

i was not really aware of what this forum was all about the whole time.

 

[AriSujan]

[mememe]

20 minutes ago, AriSujan said:

now that`s a plot twist yamada mumon didn`t have in mind. probably.

[Vzdoh]

Suicidal people need professional help and they are in no position to be a loving, caring, and giving person in relationship. In this condition they are mostly positioned to take, not to give. And this will quickly escalate into all sorts of boundaries violations. 

I don't even date depressed men let along full on suicidal. Find another guy! 

[Thought Art]

4 hours ago, Marcel said:

@Preety_India

This is not about judgement.

This is about the fact that i pushed everybody far away from me, nobody was able to get close to me.

I refused all help and support and craved it at the same time.

There was a constant tug of war in my head, and any relationship would have turned toxic over time, especially when you now also factor in that i had terrible coping mechanisms and massive anger issues that i did not have under control whatsoever back then.

Wow can relate

You can't save a depressed, suicidal or needy ass man. He will only turn on you when you don't give him the love he can't fully accept or give himself.

Edited August 22, 2021 by Thought Art

[somegirl]

I wouldn't recommend it at all. That person, even though I feel compassion for their mental state, should not date until they sort a few things in their mind.

Because, whether you want to believe it or not, suicidal person WILL ultimately cause problems over and over again in relationships and noone wants to deal with such instability. 

That person telling you they stopped having suicidal thoughts because you came along, is such a red flag. Imagine when you guys broke up, what a mess it will be.

You should not be their saviour. You both should be complete people before relationship, not needing the other to validate your worth. 

[Vzdoh]

I see Karpmam triangle in action right there! 

[Marcel]

4 hours ago, Thought Art said:

Wow can relate

You can't save a depressed, suicidal or needy ass man. He will only turn on you when you don't give him the love he can't fully accept or give himself.

Absolutely. Its no use to try and throw somebody a lifebuoy if they cannot or refuse to take it.

They just might drown you in the process if you are not careful about how you approach this situation.

 

[Matt23]

I guess ultimately the question is "Is the relationship working for you?  Are you happy in it?  Does it fill rather than drain your cup?"  

Cuz if you're feeling good enough in the relationship, and feeling positive, lifted, and are enjoying it, then why not keep it going?

If not, well then you've maybe got some thinking to do. 

Also, I suppose another trap i hear about is people denying how miserable they are in realtionships due to guilt, fear of leaving, or other negative and poor motivations.  

So make sure you're getting an accurate picture of the relationship and how you're feeling about it/him. 

Maybe also getting other people's perspective on it that you know personally, and who know him as well. They might see things you don't.  Maybe not. 

 

[QandC]

My ex was suicidal and had the most irrational fears you could ever imagine. It was the most frustrating time of my entire life and no matter what I did it never helped. It's amazing how toxic and delusional a mind can get. So much that even it starts infecting your own mind, and then you are fucked. Some people cannot be cured, especially when they do not want to be 

Edited August 22, 2021 by QandC

[Javfly33]

@QandC can you give some examples of her irrational fears and delusions? Im curious

[Roses_are_red]

17 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I was not talking about a person who becomes suicidal within a old established relationship. I was talking about starting to date a suicidal person. That is a no-no if you value your sanity.

If you're cool with dating suicidal people, well, why not a psychopath while you're at it? Psychos need love as much as the next guy.

Be ware the trap of idiot compassion.

In the end I don't care who you date. I was just looking out for you. If you want to stick your head in the jaws of an alligator, be my guest.

Dating someone who’s suicidal would be frustrating as hell cause they’re not able to give & receive love in the way a healthy mind would — & hence could lead to boundary transgressions, for sure. 
 

but calling all suicidal folks “noobs” is a bit cruel! You’ve got audience members who’ve experienced suicidality, too, Leo, & it’s not something to label or ostracize, but for sure it’s extremely difficult to treat and care for such people without professional training & support & time investment

people with a hard work ethic could experience suicidality due to unforeseen life events, trauma or PTSD, so calling someone suicidal an unprofessional noob was what I was highlighting was upsetting, coming from you! Hope you get it now

 

[Leo Gura]

9 minutes ago, Roses_are_red said:

but calling all suicidal folks “noobs” is a bit cruel!

You expect me to assume that this suicidal guy she's gonna date is some psychological virtuoso? Get real.

If you were this girl's father and she brought home this suicidal dude, you would grab him the by ear and throw him to the curb.

[Preety_India]

Don't be judgemental towards suicidal people. 

And do not underestimate what someone can bring to a relationship, no matter what state of mind they're in. 

No relationship is ever perfect nor does it ever have to be. 

 

 

[Blackhawk]

I think people who are against dating suicidal people are shallow, selfish, cold hearted, cruel, lack empathy, etc.

I wouldn't mind dating someone suicidal. I would almost prefer to date someone like that. It's much more interesting to be deep with someone. 

Also the dark side should be explored.

Edited August 23, 2021 by Blackhawk

[Johnny Galt]

13 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

you would grab him the by ear and throw him to the curb.

Common now  Maybe you'd have a talk with your daughter about what it is she's getting into, I could see that, but to "throw him to the curb".

Are you playing Osho? like when he says mother teresa should jump in front of a bus lol