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About Matt23

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  • Birthday 06/05/1992

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    Vancouver, BC, Canada
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  1. Does anyone have any good resources, methods, or insights regarding negotiating values conflicts in closer relationships (though, not necessarily imitate relationships)? I'm living with a guy, and we're becoming more comfortable and closer with each other, but the other night he said he rides his bike on off-limits trails which are designed to protect the environment. Nature is one of my top values and I felt like he betrayed it. I'm sure the right thing to do is to confront him on it since it's causing me to be inauthentic and tense around him, but I'd like to get some different professional and well-tested methods in doing so. Thanks
  2. A further couple of questions potentially worth pondering: - Are sub-selves within each person at various levels on the spiral or does spiral dynamics include those sub-selves (or sub-personalities) when it distinguishes between stages? Put another way, do higher stages have less sub-personalities since they are more integrated? - Is neurosis a sign of stage (particularly lower stages), or do higher stages have "higher" neuroses? If neuroses are signs of stages, when people of higher stages display neuroses, are they temporarily moving back down to lower stages? This could also tie into sub-personalities being activated at certain times and, if a particular one isn't as developed as the majority of the rest, it bringing down that person to a lower stage for a time.
  3. @SoothedByRain After reading this post and the Greuger theory of development, I think a large part of me is hovering around the "Self-Oppressed" version of stage Red. Addictions have played a large role in my life. Though, maybe simply on certain lines of development. Thanks for the info.
  4. @Leo Gura...(or anyone else) [FYI this post is kind of off topic]. Do you or anyone else have any advice or resources if someone is hovering around the Purple/Red area of the spiral? It's a general question I know (especially considering the different lines of development), but I guess I want more clarity as to my position on the spiral. Would doing more of a certain type of personal development be more appropriate for growth at certain stages than others (e.g., shadow work, more social types of work, different modes of therapy, to psychedelic or to not psychedelic, etc.)?
  5. Thanks for the input. Both replies make sense to me. Both hard in their own way. @tastefullyoverdone that's really courageous. I tried doing that a year or so ago. But I ended up crashing. I find it's hard to sometimes tell what's an authentic and healthy impulse and what's not. Fear obviously influences a lot.
  6. How do you guys handle being around others (in this case, Family) where it feels like they don't fully have the same interest, passion, enthusiasm, are desire to share in the passion you have? I feel often that when I want to talk about these things with others that I feel they listen, but only in a "sort of" way and don't really want to talk about the things I want to be involved in. I feel a little like I'm not being genuine to myself, and that I have to "force" or "push" to make them talk about it, which I seems a little rash and not the best way to being them around. This reminds me of how Rupert Spira handles his relationship with his son. He apparently has never even talked about spiritual concepts to his son since his son didn't ask. On the other hand, in Leo's life purpose course he talks about how expressing passion with others will pass on to them. How that, if they're not supportive, then questioning the relationship is in order. Have you guys come across these issues? How do you feel/think is the best way to handle them? How have you handled them in the past and how has it turned out? Cheers.
  7. Could this be an explanation why some people seem to behave in higher levels of the spiral, and then suddenly act out? As if they'd been hiding a more basic stage and then it lashes out? Like a "closet" stage hidden since they sense it wouldn't be socially acceptable to be it?
  8. This is from an experience I had contemplating in the forest after smoking half a bowl of weed. Posting this was inspired by a video I watched of Mooji several days later. Cannabis: Blue Dream Sativa I am not a regular smoker. In the past month I've smoked 4/5 times, which is more than I've ever smoked in my adult life. I smoked outside and then went walking in the forest. I see that it's all belief on my side. I don't know what these people are talking about. I've never had any of these experiences. I don't know if they're jokers, crazy, or ignorant. And to what degree? I felt scared to doubt it all. Like I'd lose what love and connection I've felt from a supposed God or Infinity to something away from Truth. Like my skepticism is leading me away from it and further into It's funny because, in the video, a women asked Mooji whether her feelings of profound connectedness she was having was from the ego or not. Mooji said "Yes. But in a healthy and Sattvic way. A way that's coming from a higher consciousness that's close to Truth." This reminded me of the experience I had recently which was the moment I started to really realize how much I'm believing in all spirituality and non-duality. I smoked some weed and walked out in the forest. I thought about death and thought "What would I feel and think about if I new I would die soon?". At the start I thought maybe I would think I haven't made the most of my life. Though, that thought started to feel less true, or not totally true. I ended up looking up at the sky and realizing, or thinking, that I would feel like I didn't totally accept God's or reality's unconditional love totally. I felt the love. Love. I felt like i wanted to keep it, to open up more and connect with it more. To do whatever I could to allow it to enter. Even if I had to believe. I felt the love, partially, but it was there. I wanted to keep that feeling going. To open up more to it. It was here that another part of me, the skeptic and critical thinker, started to join in. I realized that these were personal feelings. Coming from me. I didn't know if they were coming from any God or Infinite universe. That all I had about non-duality and God were beliefs. That I was actually projecting a feeling I was having, or getting, from an image-thought of a Cosmic being into the sky where I was looking. When I thought critically about it the loving feeling went away. It seemed like a materialist worldview was involved now, but the feelings are gone. I noticed, and notice, I still want the feelings to come back, but can't know for sure if they're true or not. Or even what they mean. I also remember realizing I've been wanting and believing there to be a benevolent consciousness in the universe that wants me to be ok and look out for me. I saw it as a belief. I guess I'm torn between following and trusting this feelings of love and opening to it or being skeptical and critical about it. Intuitive-feeling versus critical-skepticism. In terms of Myer's Briggs, I'm a feeling type. I like to use intuition and feelings. Critical thinking and openmindedness is also one of my top 5 strengths on Clifton Strength's assessment (I'd recommend it). I don't know what to do at the moment. I feel torn between opening to the Love. I feel like the wise thing to do would be to notice them as beliefs. to go for Truth, whatever it is. I think my biggest struggle is that I'm scared of letting go of these feelings for Truth. That I may be moving away from Truth. That somehow, I might hurt myself or be worse off if I go with identifying the beliefs I have as beliefs and going to a more materialist worldview.... resulting in me, perhaps, feelings less "connected" or love or something. I'm not sure. Any thoughts are appreciated.
  9. I remember hearing Leo give some guidelines in picking Omega 3's as some have high mercury and are of low quality. He also mentioned krill oil instead of fish. Does anyone have any opinions or further knowledge about picking a high-quality (low mercury/heavy metals fosho) Omega 3? Thanks
  10. It probably depends on each person's current conditions and development. For me, I can say that I need socializing at this moment more than meditation since I've had huge obstacles to it and have neglected it for a long time. That doesn't mean to not meditate. For me, it means simply not devoting as much time to spirituality and studying and making more room for socializing. I get really depressed and anxious if I'm not with other people at the moment. So, I plan on developing more social connections. Perhaps further down the road I'll outgrow those too and go back to more solitary things, except, hopefully, in a healthier way.
  11. @Zigzag Idiot This really reminds me of Cook-Greuter's paper Leo put on his blog ( It's a developmental model. In it she discusses what she calls the "Opportunist" stage 2/3; which has a further distinction between "opportunistic" and "self-protective." The next stage after this is called the "Diplomat", which to me resembles stage Blue significantly. It seems like these two examples are describing the same thing.
  12. Has anyone read the SD books? There's probably more info in there about lower stages, etc. If you have, could you give a brief description and opinion? Thanks
  13. Though, it might help for the business side of things. The certification process may also cover things you didn't know or consider before. Like stats on benefits, slightly new techniques, new analogies for understanding, teaching and public speaking skills, learning styles of people you teach, ethics, how to organize your teaching, how to help people with specific issues and how to know what issues are what, etc. Being a teacher could be a very different experience than meditating on your own, and require a handful of other skills and knowledge needed to do it effectively, ethically, and enjoyably. Similar to a university professor who's brilliant in their field, but awful at teaching people. People can be 20 year meditators, but still be terrible at teaching. Though, personal experience would be one of the first things I'd want in a meditation teacher. That, and then knowing they have a solid theoretical foundation (from a school, spiritual tradition, etc.). Depending on who the person was, I think I would generally feel more comfortable with someone who had a relatively large conceptual knowledge base to house explain and house experiences and techniques they were teaching.
  14. George Leonard discusses homeostasis in his book "Mastery". He suggests several different way to work with it. "Negotiate" with it. Don't bull your way through it, nor completely let it over take you. Develop a positive social network of support. Develop a regular daily routine. Dedicate yourself to life long learning. Be aware of how homeostasis works. Perhaps also ask why your doing these behaviors. What survival function are the behaviors serving? What aspect of yourself are they trying to survive?