Forrest Adkins

Is Software Developer a low social status job?

24 posts in this topic

Im always debating wether I should put on dating profiles or mention to girls that I'm a software engineer or not.

While a lot of people act interested in a "I couldnt do this" sort of way when mentioned I think it also puts you in the undateable category with women.

First, because nobodoy "can do this" this sets you apart from the common population. Everyone has a general idea of what a doctor or lawyer does, even if they arent one themselves. But nobody (especially women) know what a programmer even does nor do they care because its too technical.

Second because of the stereotypes: nerdy, no social skills, bad hygiene, no sense of style, dont know how to act around women, ... There are really no masculine archetypes in pop culture who are working in IT, which I think is why it puts you even below blue collar workers because their line of work is perceived as masculine.

Edited by Forrest Adkins

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Well, I work with 3D and VR, so your notion about women "not knowing what a programmer is" = clearly wrong. If you mention your work and interests you heighten the chances of finding someone you actually have something in common with... Own your career and interests and work on your confidence. Low confidence and insecurity repels women, not your job.


...But what if the opposite is true?

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@Forrest Adkins  Pretty sure there's a way to sell almost anything and make it sound sexier. xD

I'm probably a bit out of touch in this way, but nerd doesn't mean quite what it used to mean. It used to be a legit insult; no such thing as a cute nerd or a sexy one. Everything else listed is not considered cute, generally.

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Definitely leave "software developer" out of your profile. You ain't gonna attract girls with that.

Obviously do not lie about it if she asks you point blank what you do, but your profile needs to be human, charming, emotional -- not full of anti-social nerd speak.

Basically, girls don't give a damn what you do for a living as long as you're able to hold down a job and pay your bills. She will get attracted to your personality, not your career.

Your profile needs to show (not tell) that you have social savvy and are into human things which don't include computers, video games, TV, and internet.


"Be melting snow. Wash yourself of yourself." -- Rumi

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I would give myself the privilege of putting 'software craftsmanshiper' if you write crean clode. ;) A little humour won't hurt nobody and that'll look amazing.

Edit: I totally agree with @Dwarniel

Edited by Javfly33

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Own your carreer, bro, be cool with it and everything will turn out great

Edited by Hello from Russia

See things as they are

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Definitely put in your profile that you need to be left alone 5 out of 7 days a week at night after work since you will be gaming with your buddies. 

 

 

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Even better then saying that you work in software engineering, describe what you do in a oversimplified and silly way. 

If you’re a judge you could say that you put bad boys in prison for a living. Try to make your profile more fun and personal rather then a wall of info. This can apply to real life interaction as well.

Furthermore notice that ambition and passion for what you do for a living is really attractive.

Edited by Spiral

You can't be enlightened, no one can.;)

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I dont even game much or use nerd speak or anything like that. But this is just my job, it is how it is, even if it sucks and makes me weird in other peoples eyes.

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Yeah dont put it in your profile, even if I was a doctor or w.e. I wouldnt put it. Thats just because I like girls who like me for what I am and not for my job but maybe thats just me. Also for dating its best to assume 100% that being a software engineer makes you more attractive to date. Dont even worry about it.

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I'm not sure whether it's that's a good thing to put in a dating profile.

But if someone ever asks you that in a real conversation, it is absolutely okay to say that.

Infact it's a great thing to say if you like what you do.

Edited by fi1ghtclub
Text Change

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2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Definitely leave "software developer" out of your profile. You ain't gonna attract girls with that.

 

Exactly I might say I’m a soft to hardware developer xD

It’s a powerful means of attraction to leave things up to the imagination of another, what might get them curious and how would you like to spice up your date or interaction 

10 hours ago, Forrest Adkins said:

Second because of the stereotypes: nerdy, no social skills, bad hygiene, no sense of style, dont know how to act around women, ... There are really no masculine archetypes in pop culture who are working in IT, which I think is why it puts you even below blue collar workers because their line of work is perceived as masculine.

@Forrest Adkins You are your own judge, I fact, the judger is the judged. Can and will you be willing to send this cultural idea to the grave? Have you begun the necessary systemic approaches to insuring your desired self worth? Don’t let the ideas of others hold back the joy and excitement of going with desire

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Definitely put in your profile that you need to be left alone 5 out of 7 days a week at night after work since you will be gaming with your buddies...

if you let your job define you you better love it!!

 

 

 

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I don't think programmers are low social status. Don't know about USA, but over here they tend to be well payed (a part-time IT jobs easily earns you a full salary of, say, a teacher) and in demand, can have more flexible work hours etc.. So being an IT guy is actually quite sexy because of the work benefits they enjoy. 

Besides, what's up with the secrecy? If she's repelled by IT, you wouldn't be happy in a relationship anyway, if she isn't, great, you just found out by stating it straight in your profile. Ofc. be human too, but there's no reason to leave out a big chunk of your identity. 

Edited by Elisabeth

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14 minutes ago, Elisabeth said:

I don't think programmers are low social status. Don't know about USA, but over here they tend to be well payed (a part-time IT jobs easily earns you a full salary of, say, a teacher) and in demand, can have more flexible work hours etc.. So being an IT guy is actually quite sexy because of the work benefits they enjoy. 

Besides, what's up with the secrecy? If she's repelled by IT, you wouldn't be happy in a relationship anyway, if she isn't, great, you just found out by stating it straight in your profile. Ofc. be human too, but there's no reason to leave out a big chunk of your identity. 

Well the plan is to not repell women right away and kinda reveal that about myself later on when we know each other better. I know its a red flag for some women.

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Frankly depends on the woman you're dating. 

As long as you are funny and can make her happy, won't matter whatever you do. 

In the end its your job. If she is not happy at first sight she won't be happy in the relationship either, but she can take a second chance. Being honest is still a better idea. Because if she finds out later, maybe she will get annoyed, might hurt your self esteem. Look for open minded people who are okay with what you do and don't judge you for every little thing, especially your bread and butter. 


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For people under 25 it's equal to being a doctor or an actual lawyer, at least I think so. People know it's good money and so many people do programming now, I don't think any stereotypes hold.

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I dont think there was an image change.

To be honest Im very ashamed of my profession, sometimes I wish I just had a normal more social job.

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3 minutes ago, Forrest Adkins said:

To be honest Im very ashamed of my profession, sometimes I wish I just had a normal more social job.

Oh no🙁, that's sad!

I had a friend that was a software programmer and I thought it was fascinating. Sure, it was over my head, but when he explained it to me I thought it was pretty cool he could do it. I was genuinely interested, so he taught me some. 

Think of all the ppl using and relying on computers in this world every day and for you to be ashamed for being one of the ppl who can actually program and keep that system going is absurd!

Stop doing that to yourself!

You have a good job, be thankful 💗

 


Take what you like and leave the rest.

Namaste 🙏 🕉

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