Enlightenment Jokes Here

[GabeN]

[AlldayLoop]

 

[pluto]

 

[nistake]

Q: How much "ego" do you need?
A: Just enough so that you don't step in front of a bus.
Shunryu Suzuki

[AlldayLoop]

[abrakamowse]

If Jesus was real they wouldn't call it the crucifixion...

They would call it crucifact.

[abrakamowse]

@Keyhole   

[AlldayLoop]

student asks:

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it... right?”

master replies:

”to whom is it broken to?”

[Gili Trawangan]

On 7/29/2019 at 4:25 PM, GabeN said:

Haha, this one made me laugh for some reason.

[abrakamowse]

How do you call a monster who pays a lot of attention all the time?

 

Awarewolf

[Mason Riggle]

[Yog]

On 8/14/2019 at 10:26 PM, Keyhole said:

Every OBE in a nutshell.

[nistake]

11 hours ago, AlldayLoop said:

student asks:

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it... right?”

master replies:

”to whom is it broken to?”

[ActualizedDavid]

 

[AlwaysBeNice]

-

Edited August 17, 2019 by AlwaysBeNice

[traveler]

I had a full body massage yesterday with the intention of healing some energy blockages. It was wonderful, but halfway through I felt the blood starting to rush into my lil king down there, as she was touching some very sensitive areas. What I was unaware of was that a full body massage also includes the front. She asked me to lay on my back and I naturally got very aware of my wood down there, and that there was absolutely no way that she wouldn't notice. Throughout the rest of the session I could not think about anything else than getting rid of my wood, I tried all of the methods I've been using during self Inquiry "Who is the one having a boner," and " "surrender into the experience" etc. And all of this was of course resistance. It didn't go away throughout the rest of the session. 

Might not be an enlightenment joke, but it surely was an embarrassing/funny twist that initially was supposed to be something "spiritual." 

[abrakamowse]

@traveler  the morning wood happens because of that. So, it's not embarrassing. 

When we are sleeping we are with consciousness only, in bliss. So blissful that morning wood happens hehehe...

Meeting with our true self brings a lot of "ecstasy" so that's not weird or bad really.

:-)

[Beginner Mind]

This may have been posted already but it's a pretty good one:

A Zen master visiting New York City goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."
The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen master, who pays with a $20 bill.
The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. "Excuse me, but where’s my change?" asks the Zen master.
The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."

[peanutspathtotruth]

7 hours ago, nistake said:

Phahahha this guy... @Shin why did you do that, I'll never get this out of my mind

[abrakamowse]

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly

"A man who lays with another man should be stoned"