Gili Trawangan

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About Gili Trawangan

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  1. Don't overlook the fact that this is about unlearning.
  2. Yeah, but the hottest ones are not as easy as I made it sound, if you want those you actually have to go on dates
  3. Indeed. As a white guy in Asia, I more or less get the experience of being a woman and having too much choice on a daily basis. Hundreds of matches online to choose from, so I just get lazy and complacent and act like a woman by not engaging. And if I spend a few hours sending messages, I can get a girl to come over to my place directly, the zero-date game haha. It's not as good as it sounds though, I prefer being able to approach girls on the streets and the language barrier in these countries can really take the wind out of your sails.
  4. That frustration is to be used as fuel. Go out and start approaching women. Drop the texting, it's a waste of time. Texting is to set up dates, nothing else. Approach women. Nothing else will help you.
  5. The way I see it, this is an exaggeration. Women can be indifferent to a guy for a while and gradually become very attracted due to behavioral cues that were simply not recognized in the beginning. From a man's perspective, sure, the first few minutes. For a woman... more often than not, I don't think so.
  6. I'm pretty sure you've posted this before, maybe a few months ago? It was the exact same post, word for word, so as far as I'm concerned it's hard to take seriously.
  7. June was an interesting month, full of procrastination and comfort. For over a year now, in the beginning of each month I write down the mission for that whole month, what I want to accomplish. This was the first time in a year that the goals weren't really specific enough, I wanted to give myself time to learn more about the craft of mixing and music production. In the midst of all that procrastination, something clicked. I bought new software for drums and bass, and after time off from listening to the songs I went back to them with fresh ears. I eliminated the midi sounds that didn't sound realistic and went with different arrangements in some cases. If I'm not mistaken, the songs have taken a significant leap in quality now that I've worked on the arrangements in the past couple of days. Modafinil was a huge help, when I take it I'm able to tackle difficult tasks without resistance. And today I went to the gym for the first time in months. I got so tired during the workout that I almost fainted. I feel like those weeks of procrastination were somehow needed and it feels like I'm ready to get back to a routine of hard work (which is really just enjoyable work). And what's really amazing is that I never judged myself during these lazy days. There was gratitude throughout, happiness. Joy, love of life, love of every moment of existence. I love existing, or, if we want to get technical, I am love. And I'm gradually letting go of those self-judgements of being a lone wolf, and not being with people enough. I just love being alone, I'm never bored, it makes me happy. Being with people is like having chocolate cake. It's delicious but I should only do it once in a while. Being alone is what I'm drawn to. It just happens. Awakening gives you the gift of letting go of comparisons, so I don't have to feel bad because "others" are more social. Yes, it was an interesting month. The level of acceptance I feel is getting deeper, I don't think it had ever been this deep before. It's happiness.
  8. Last week I had tremendous ego backlash. I decided to go on a date with a western girl, for some reason thought it was a good idea. She was into me, and invited me to her place the next day. I went, thought it would just be a good time and maybe a hook up, but it turns out we had nothing in common and then in got awkward when she wanted me to leave, it was so sudden. She'd been talking about all the things she wanted to do with me ("I'll take you here next week, I'll go with you there", bla bla) and then out of the blue she says "I don't feel a connection". I really don't want to believe these things, but my life experience just shows me over and over again that I can't trust women. What they say means nothing. It's one of those beliefs that can only be dropped once I'm shown evidence to the contrary, and that certainly hasn't happened for me yet. They either lie or they suddenly change their mind without hesitation. But how can you have a relationship with such a creature? I once read on some astrological reading that I will meet a woman in the second half of my life that will teach me how to trust. No bullshit, I read it, and I hope it's true. Another thing I've noticed is that most times when I get intimate with a woman these days I end up talking about nonduality, which is utterly silly. Nobody ever gets what I'm talking about, the conversation always takes a turn for the worse. But it just happens, it's a major part of my life in the last two years, if I'm asked about myself in the last two years and I don't talk about it I'm just denying myself. But I want to stop it, this need to talk about it is just that, a craving as any other. Which needs to be dropped. I realized after this situation that I'm still very much identified with my life story, at least most of the time. I'm identified with being good with women, and when I get rejected, for whatever reason, I feel inadequate. I'm identified with the belief that I can never have an intimate relationship with a woman, because I don't trust them. So the thought comes up often that I'll always be alone, and that thought is also identified with. I'm also identified with not wanting to be seen. It's a major component of the character, and I think part of me has been postponing the conclusion of the EP because there's the fear of being seen. And judged. Which means that I'm identified with the character. I'm not in a place where I can just let anything happen. I'm not free. All of this led to more procrastination, I even binged on porn, which I hadn't watched in months. The good part is that through all of this there wasn't much suffering. There was acceptance of what was happening. And a sense that there was absolutely no control over it. There was no charge to it, it was happening and it was being seen. Even now, as I write these things, there isn't much charge. I know it's all bullshit. All of this is just stories. Right now, in this moment, all is perfectly well. And this moment is all there is.
  9. Go to a real astrologer sometime and THEN call it bullshit. Otherwise it's just closed-mindedness. The same for the other stuff.
  10. Great questions, proud of you A possible long-term plan: 1. develop concentration by focusing on a very subtle object, such as the breath at the base of the nostril 2. when concentration is strong enough you will feel it. after that, just let go. rest awareness on awareness. do nothing, negate every object that appears, no matter how subtle. Good luck and all the best to you.
  11. Hey man, I'm living in Vietnam as well, though I'm not from here. I learned a few things about the country from your post, nice breakdown.
  12. This!
  13. My day with modafinil: - woke up around 6:30am - first class from 8 to 10am - second class from 10am to 12pm - lunch and coffee downstairs from school, raining hard, I take my time - back to school, work for around two hours planning all the classes for the following week - at the same time, playing around on dating/social apps and chatting to multiple girls for a meet-up - a few different girls "approach" me online, I'm strangely in demand today; one of them agrees to come to my place for a drink later, she "was impressed that I play guitar" - another class from 5pm to 7pm - I go to the store to buy beers and other groceries, plus dinner - back home, have dinner, take a shower and just in time the girl arrives - we chat for a while, she doesn't want to drink beer and has brought tea instead - when I try to kiss her she says she doesn't want to have sex, I back off - about an hour later she changes her mind and we have sex - we enjoy each other's company, and chat until 1:30am, only then am I able to fall asleep. She sleeps over Today, I'm back to my regular low energy baseline. Yesterday was not a typical day for me, it's incredible what modafinil can do. It provided me with what seemed like inexhaustible energy. And a desire to accomplish, to achieve. I decided not to take it today, it's too powerful to take it two days in a row, I think it should be used sparingly.