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  1. I dislike her because she isn't authentic. I hate having to look at someone talking and know that not a thing they say they will actually be in line with how they really feel. Women like that are not doing that in order to make men feel better, they are doing it for another entirely different reason, under that guise.
  2. @somegirl Of course not, there are a lot of people with the same STD. It's not rare or deadly.
  3. I've noticed that there are a lot of weird art niches online where you can make some pretty decent money. This is really... how lucky for him! I could only dream of the same success.
  4. The topic of free will has been on my mind a lot for quite a while. Different past spiritual experiences seem to come to widely different conclusions, but I don't ultimately know for sure if we do have or do not have free will. Some of these experiences seem to point towards having free will and others make it feel like there is ultimately no free will, and those experiences seem to be mostly at the top of the food chain. If I look around with the lens that there is no free will, then everything just Is. I think of, cosmically, "All for you." From God, to you. And that your life is the gift. But you have to show up to receive it and that is your choice. But it also directs this, if you do or do not. And there is some greater plan.
  5. I don't know. Maybe a craniosacral therapist would know the answer to this?
  6. I don't know how I would feel. I would probably not date someone who was clean because I would feel bad if they caught it and now has that as the constant reminder of me. Like getting a tattoo of someone's name on you or something. But if I was in that position, I think it would hurt a lot. I'd be really sad, and then I would move on. I guess my answer would depend on seeing how you are as a couple, is it a pretty good relationship in every other aspect?
  7. Idk... I would leave tbh. What if you get it and it ends up not working out, and then your own love life is ruined? And there is no cure for it, either? Just my 2c.
  8. I prefer weed over other drugs, I tried a few things once or twice in my early 20's and didn't like any of them... Weed is good. I use high thc concentrates; sativa and a coffee. It puts me right in my body, lets me think about things, clear my mind and I can get access to my higher self. I have had a lot of really life altering experiences from weed. Thanks for sharing op. I think weed is a great spiritual tool.
  9. I think it would be difficult to balance.
  10. Right? That's what I did! ((it helps))
  11. I always had my insights into freewill as being non-existent and that becoming more apparent when you get closer to source because you're stuck in place, no matter where you go in physical form, but are now aware of it - like a little bug stuck on the front window of a fast moving vehicle - they kind of look like lace angels. And before that, you are a slave to your ego and all that outer activity is an illusion. So where does that leave room for free will? The only freewill there seems to be is to accept it all as openly as possible. That seems to be the only real choice available to us.
  12. Age of Existentialism - "We do with our life what we can and then we die. What else is there, if this is Known... can it be reflected in their work?" Chance and accident takes over. Gamble on the next brush stroke. The image would eventually create itself as it went along. Taps into the unconscious: DARK, e x c i t i n g , guttural, twisted - where did the darkness come from?! Hedonism. Coldness. I don't know, I wish it was safe to know. Spirit of inborn masochism; corruption. Freedom. Risk. L a c k o f a u t h o r i t y . The Devil is cultured, uninhibited. Art mirrors the animal within man. Visceral. c l o s e sadism (sad-ism) ???????? ???????? ???????? When you are young, you don't have a preconceived notion of what is shocking, you just look at things to see if they are beautiful. "How are you going to trap reality? How are you going to trap appearance without making an illustration of it? And that is one of the great fights and the great excitements of being a figurative artist." Painting "inside out"; a great love. How? Heart. Only able to capture those who one knows very well or look at a great deal; analyzed and know the structure of the face; the soul. "The Work" can be seen as a s e a r c h f o r G o d . "You are painting not only the subject, but you are painting yourself as well as the object you are trying to record." "I'm afraid of violence, but I have often been submitted to it." Cricuciftion. "Spectacles": Notes - I don't always agree with everything she says, but she does make a lot of good points usually : There is a structure to reality. You are here to learn to evolve into yourself. A potential, a program within, a growth path. Express and nourish this. A continual unfolding of you, and this feels good in life. No longer tied into consensus reality, illusions of what will make you happy or needing success. Live according to your reality, you are here to be you. What we need to thrive, to express our potential is something that only we can figure out for ourselves. There are programs and conditionings that tell us that this is what it takes to survive and those are wrong - and that is where the programming is. Live life fully. Presence. You expand consciousness just for being you, therefore an addition. We will never know it all, be fully expressed - because it is never done. Now we can get into alignment: When you are enlightened you follow your feelings and internal guidance system. Curious, creative, compassionate, always - keeps perception open instead of closing down. Be present with pain so you can learn. We as a species are not all on the same evolutionary path. Maslow's - closer you get to the top, secure, you will evolve to a higher level of consciousness and you will be able to express yourself easier. The higher up you get, the more complex needs become. Get good at feeling your way through pain and it will FEED your awareness and intellect, you will learn not to shut down. Open up. Step into the unknown. This is how you commune with reality. You learn the rules of right and wrong from your culture and family, not reality - the more your nervous system is programmed, but your real feelings are telling you something different, and you were interacting with the reality of the household, this is the birth of THE SPLIT. What was it in you that was rejected, shamed by your caregivers - that was authentic and needed to grow? What did you do that went against your ultimate self expression? Social programming comes from the whole human history of not understanding reality, passed down from generation to generation. "The more I can control, the safer and better I will be." We all want to express our potential, the farther from security, the farther from expressing the true self. What do I want to express? I am not sure. Peace. Bravery. Truth. When we do things that give us consequences we did not expect, that is how we know we are running a program. In order to know what you need and want in life you have to deprogram yourself first. Reality speaks in pain and pleasure only. A slow process of waking up to your feelings. Society is set up to support the level of consciousness of the "aggregate" because this is the level that it is at. It is hard for people who are sensitive to energy to survive with how the world is because it is not set up to foster growth in sensitive people. What can I do about this? You have to become your own source of wisdom. You have to go on your own to figure it out. Make yourself safe + learn self love = expand consciousness