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  1. It went over alright, however this will take some practice. I plan to try again tomorrow - and to make an altar where my TV is that I never watch. Will return in a month when I do my next offering.
  2. @remember Pride is higher up than anger on the emotional scale, anger is just below it. If you reduce every negative emotion a person has to one point, it is the fear of death. Negative emotion is stemmed from not getting something a person needs for survival, or from a situation that reminds them of an outcome they did not get that they felt was essential for survival. From there, depending on biological and societal conditioning, that fear will manifest itself differently.
  3. @DLH There was some implication of it, through the story people have told you about what shamanism is - as many cultures have developed an ego/pride surrounding their shamanic traditions, when I hear people talking through that paradigm I know where it is coming from - which is the culture's collective egos desire to survive in a quickly changing world. The spirits can help awaken a person to their potential through another person, but the human being must have been chosen before birth, and directly by the spirits themselves. If a person, through their ego, decides to take up the path - which most do this will not be authentic. A lot of workshops offer these services to people of this nature, and many of the shamans that train outsiders don't want to share this information with their students either because they're sharing half truths to outsiders in order to feed their families and communities. I'm trying to keep the definition of what an authentic shaman is down to the very most truthful expression of the path. You need to have a genuine brush with death, and to work through it from within that divided space, a space where on the one hand terror manifests and on the other, absolute self honesty - how can that be taught or manufactured? Because shamanism works by moving into, and altering feedback loops, the moment you try to change a loop for the benefit of yourself - you change the course of your history in the wrong way. What many of these shamans don't teach their students is that by opening yourself up to the Other you open yourself up to the dark forces as well - and if they do not have a spirit that has come to them to offer protection, then these people are in danger. Many times these people think that they are in control, that these energies can offer a person a sense of power or agency over their own lives - just by attending a workshop or speaking to a person who is offering half truths. What shamanism needs is people who can access these loops at their fullest potential and change them around on a global scale - and only the spirits can teach this. Humans are simply not whole enough in the way that a spirit is. On account of the reality of the authorities, (inspired) by the spirit of the father of truth, the great apostle – referring to the "authorities of the darkness" – told us that "our contest is not against flesh and blood; rather, the authorities of the universe and the spirits of wickedness." I have sent this (to you) because you inquire about the reality of the authorities. Their chief is blind; because of his power and his ignorance and his arrogance he said, with his power, "It is I who am God; there is none apart from me." When he said this, he sinned against the entirety. And this speech got up to incorruptibility; then there was a voice that came forth from incorruptibility, saying, "You are mistaken, Samael" – which is, "god of the blind." His thoughts became blind. And, having expelled his power – that is, the blasphemy he had spoken – he pursued it down to chaos and the abyss, his mother, at the instigation of Pistis Sophia. And she established each of his offspring in conformity with its power - after the pattern of the realms that are above, for by starting from the invisible world the visible world was invented. As incorruptibility looked down into the region of the waters, her image appeared in the waters; and the authorities of the darkness became enamored of her. But they could not lay hold of that image, which had appeared to them in the waters, because of their weakness – since beings that merely possess a soul cannot lay hold of those that possess a spirit – for they were from below, while it was from above. This is the reason why "incorruptibility looked down into the region (etc.)": so that, by the father's will, she might bring the entirety into union with the light.
  4. You probably wouldn't be good for this sort of spiritual path then because it gets a lot weirder the further you go into it. Separate yourself from your fear by realizing it is an illusion. Fear is a bodily sensation, and unless you are in immediate danger, then it is a false signal. But don't stress yourself out about it too much - go at a slow pace. Do you have some things in your environment that can bring you back? Some things that carry good memories, types of food, old photographs, beautiful works of art, smells that make you feel safe? If it resonates, get together a "safety kit" with these things in them in the meantime, and look for someone who works with energy blockages and who has a very stable, loving energy they can transmit to you. Nahm does energy work, and Matt8000 is very practiced in the occult, so if you feel it is a demonic attack he might have some quality step-by-step advice to offer you.
  5. Fortunately, the spirits decide who is to be a shaman, not human beings. On top of this, humans do not train a shaman, the spirits do. The fact that you think that a sweat lodges and shamans are in the same category is very telling. They are not. If you do not have an authentic connection with the spirits, and are speaking from a place where human beings have used culture in order to give you a definition, then you are going in the wrong direction with this completely.
  6. I'm going to take a break from the internet until April 1st. Had a string of many insights, need to integrate them. Want to practice "headlessness" with as little distraction as possible. See y'all later! ------------------------ Need solitude. No distractions. Focus. No dogma. No stories. No self. I’ve tapped into something. Something is wrong with the planet. There is something, built up in power from the original sin, some sort of energy and I don’t understand it. I am not sure if I really want to. But I have to because it has corrupted me - something tells me that if I break free from this corruption that I will be able to change things for the better for the people around me - and as the years go by, that my contributions will set in motion a canceling out of the negative feedback loops. I need to bring myself into the deepest form of love possible, which is the love that you move towards during death. I got a taste once again of cosmic suffering - I’ve had this in the past. When it happens, I can see how my suffering is on a plane of its own, and that it doesn’t discriminate, it simply spreads - seemingly mindlessly through humanity. I am disturbed that people do not sense this and I think that it is because the Devil is so well hidden, and so terrifying - when a person witnesses these powers - there is no control. It rests within this static entropy, beyond time - within the loops of negative action and draws power from this. Every horrible action that a human has ever done, it has its claws, it’s tentacles, dug in firmly. I can’t have anything that influences me as I work through this. The fact that people are so unaware of these influences goes to show that it’s winning. From now on I will offer no advice, no opinion or criticism. Beyond the contents of this journal - silence. I will set up monthly offerings to Kali in the hopes that I can be of service to the light, and to help change things for the better. I am afraid, because I don’t want to die. I can’t turn away from what I have seen. I know that no matter what happens, if I accept the light, everything will be ok. This is my responsibility. I need to set in motion; to practice the right intention. When I get back, hopefully I will have a greater understanding of how evil works.
  7. It is actually fear, the root cause of any negative emotion is fear down to it's core, everything else is just layering.
  8. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. I think that these experiences aren't supposed to usually cultivate a relationship, but to provide us with more understanding on what we need to work on within ourselves. I think you'd have to get to know that person over a long period of time to know for sure if it is a spiritual connection. Sounds like she just wants to use someone as a crutch and that isn't cool, you deserve someone who is all in without another man being in the background. You did the right thing when it came to backing off - if someone is still tied to another person, then it won't work. There is no guarantee that she won't go back to her husband at some point when she needs more "support" - and it seems like that "support" is interchangeable, as shown by how she went right back onto dating sites without even giving herself time to introspect. This song just showed up in my recommended and it seems like it could be a good song to release some negative emotions about the experience.
  9. People are kind of shallow in that you have to make them feel good first in order for them to do the same. This is how spirituality works as well, you have to give your love, give your gratitude and humility. I relate to you on a lot of your posts, they sound like coming from someone who doesn't have good social skills and has a bit of codependency and I am the same way, but am working on it. It takes time, a lot of self reflection and a willingness to look within. Don't give up. On the flip side I am also kind of flaky - I keep a few online friends, and often go for months without speaking to them. The kind of energy that they have is one of holding space for another - so within that one community - I am free to come and go as I like, there are no expectations of me beyond being a good person, and I know that saying nice and encouraging things means a lot to the host of the community so I listen for moments when I can offer complements. If they do something I don't agree with, I will give a critique, but coming from a place of just wanting them to do better for themselves; no judgement. I keep it at about 5-10 complements per 1 critique. I don't speak up too often unless it is required and try to make sure that everyone there knows that I like them - I am friendly to all and prefer being a bit more of an outsider. The other friend has their own life and they comment on my channel sometimes. We both can just go do whatever and talk whenever and there is no underlying need for anything. To get people to like you, you need to offer them something that they need in their lives. Instead of viewing it as what is wrong with you, look for areas where the person you want in your life needs something. You don't have to give them an arm and a leg, but you do need to have some love to give. People want love. If you have self love, they want that, too. Learn to love yourself. Leo has a video on how to do this. Recognize that you deserve love and ARE love. All that needs to happen is a simple cognitive shift, and then some practice to maintain it. Check out Leo's vid on how to do it, make it a practice and you will see changes in yourself. @Serotoninluv Your post was interesting, I find myself acting this way with men that I have a big crush on and it is a red flag - I don't think that people that are in this state of mind can even see the other person correctly. At all. I also see it play out in other people and can see how all they need is a simple shift in awareness and yet I cannot seem to remember to do the same. In the future, if this happens I will cut contact first in order to be respectful. It's kind of torturous to be in that mindset. It's the only time I feel anything for anyone and it's just toxic. At the same time, check out Host Eric's views on this: It's almost like... so why can't something be solved with words like adults? Granted he prefers needy, but I think he has a point there, too.
  10. Would anyone like to start a live action anime magical girl trope style cult with me? The rules are as follows: Each girl has their own corresponding spirit animal. Mine is the sloth, the one who basically falls over dead after any form of physical exertion. Our powers will include laser gun fingers: And the ability to squash people's heads from a distance in between our fingers. Before we attack archons and do battle, we dance in unison to "Mr. Wonderful." I of course, in the middle of the dance - dancing being very laborious, fall over dead. And we all gravitate towards one "senpai" who is our leader and secret object of our feminine wiles. I feel like this idea has potential.
  11. Yes, this happens to me after a few minutes of meditation.
  12. You're right, he should probably repeat himself for good measure. Glad to hear that this guy has grown up. I wish that for everyone, myself included. R.I.P. Sasha's ego
  13. TRIGGER WARNING. For those who are curious about magick, occult, shamanism, the dark or light arts and energies. Please be careful. Do not get yourselves involved in dark magick. Be careful of what you wish for. Just as we are all connected by light, we are all connected by the darkness. Everything has a desire to survive. When you open yourself up to dark energies, you open yourself up to feeling the entire collective of human suffering, and to the energies that keep humans trapped. You open yourself up to disease, manipulation, chaos, destruction... delusion. And you further open the world up to it as well. I want to feel.... I want to feel... I want to feel... I want to feel... This isn't a game, or some fun thing to spend your time doing in between college classes or because your life has no direction. You open yourself up not only to the collective light, but to every individual who suffered, to the original sin. If you come to these energies with ego, they will sort you out or snuff you out. Be sure you understand what you are risking and be sure you can handle what you see when you open that box.
  14. @DreamScape You can always try it out, by removing anything in your way that might be blocking you from listening to your heart. That's the spiritual North star, the compass. Your destiny. I can give you some pointers if you want to try shamanism out. It is not at all like how many describe it. Very rarely if ever are drugs involved. Instead, you will want to use the sound of drumming or chanting along with a repeated movement in order to get into a trance state. You can start with small journeys, but as you get more proficient in it, these journeys will last days at times. The state you want to get into is a state of no-mind, all heart, focus all the energy there. The reason for this is that in between the heart/solar plexus area is were your true Self is. When doing this, focus on the third eye area, without any need for control over what you might find. When you encounter spirits and deities, they will have this feel, but it will be in your heart, as if someone is speaking to you from there. You will Know without a doubt. The effect that this band has used for the voice is really great - it really does a service to what that feels like in the heart - along with how it feels to meet your guide. When you meet your guide, accept them with love and gratitude. From there, you will need to build a relationship with them. The reason for this is that communication is a feedback loop, so your offerings will create a cord between you and the guide, like so: First step above all else is to open your heart so that you can fully trust yourself and your experiences, so that you can clearly hear the path that is calling out to you.