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About Keyhole

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  1. I'm going to spend just one hour online a day from now on, it's messing with my eyes too much. Bat tattoo. Will color it later.
  2. It serves you in learning about the fact that illegal gold mines in Peru are damaging the rainforest because they use mercury to bind the gold dust together, this mercury is going into the water and poisoning the land around it, and the people using the metal. This then can help you make conscious decisions on where you buy your gold. Focusing time on music or art is great if it is conscious art, something that reflects the human condition or generation one is living in or a metaphysical message, but if the art ends up being copied variants of what is around a person, then I would say the 'hollow knowledge' should take priority.
  3. I recently did this, one landed in my cup of water fruit infusion. He was a big old fly, but so beautiful. Its green eyes and green shiny body. He could not decide whether or not to keep trying to drink from the water he was drowning in, try to escape or to groom. I ended up letting it go back outside because, if it weren't for the fact that they are germy, they're very pretty. It isn't really the fly's fault being a fly. But I can't say that I felt any love in the process over it, just compassion and a bit of boredom.
  4. Just a reminder to myself, it could be worse.
  5. People here aren't all that interested in environmental issues, either. I posted an informative documentary on mining in the Peruvian rainforest, but because it requires time to watch- 1 hour, you poor poor things - and doesn't involve measuring spiral dynamics levels like penis size, folks aren't interested.
  6. @Brenzo2 You're just running around something that is a very real possibility. No one can know that they have 10-20 years left with absolute certainty and it is good to keep the perspective that one will not.
  7. Don't assume you'll live that long. Life is funny like that.
  8. There are some things that I need to work out. I can feel it in my gut. Can't do Modafinil because I have heart issues, this is part of what has been annoying me. Feeling very frustrated that life blocks my progress at every turn, while other people can just skate right through. And then those people look down on those who don't have it so easy. I think that if we lived in a fair and just world, that the problems that I am facing would be transferred to people like this so they can learn a lesson about what it really means for life to offer you a free meal, and then take it away. I just don't understand why my life has to be so hard when there are people out there who deserve it way more than I do. If things aren't equal, then people are going to fight for a way to make it equal in one way or another. I am a gentle human, sometimes I wish I were less so. Why aren't the people who stole from me, or abused me, or lied about me suffering from something more tangible? Why aren't they completely broken? Why are their lives moving forward, after using my well being to get ahead? There is no such thing as justice. There is no great equalizer. The only thing that is equal is that we all die someday. That's it. The older I get, the more clearly I can see how shitty and terrible human beings are. No one lives by what they teach, they don't practice what they preach - there is no escaping the human condition. There's just this experience where nothing that is terrible matters, and I can't seem to catch that wave. But there isn't some figure out there who knows more than I do, who has all the answers. It's fake. People are so fake. I don't know what I am supposed to do with this self pity. I'm not smart, clever, talented, important. There is nothing redeemable about me. I don't know how to stop vacillating between "I don't want to live", and "Maybe, just maybe." I want to be bigger than I am, more than I am - but it isn't possible as a human being. I want to be able to move freely, in a world that always feels like the warm sun is on my skin, with a slight wind, a forest that glows like a bio-luminescent wonderland. I want to be in a pack - and my pack moves and dances to the tune of our emotions, we create whatever form we like. We are stunning! And free. We sing. The water is pure and breathable. Everything is breath.
  9. @Alex bliss Sifting to the truth
  10. This is one of my fave lessons on Enlightenment. I got so much out of it.
  11. Signed up to volunteer at the foodbank. Going in for orientation sometime next week. If I get food there, I should pay it back somehow. Just once a week to start with, and I will go from there. Stocking. Lost some weight on this diet already. I can see my hip bones a bit when I lie down in the tub. Need to gain some muscle mass though. Made an apt. with my psychiatrist. I am going to try and get a dx for Modafinil. I have had a problem with hypersomnia since I was in middle school and an issue with concentration, so I feel like this would help. Visiting folks to help them clean on Saturday, and then a political rally for Elizabeth Warren on Sunday. I don't really care, but my mother is political and so going to this thing will make her happy. Plus there is beer afterwards. I make water infusions about 2-3 times a week in a large punch bowl. This one has: a shitton of mint. 1 medium lemon 1/2 giant ass cucumber 1 smallish nectarine pomegranate seed powder Makes a good snack, too. I like to grab a few bits to snack on when I go get some water.
  12. Ok, well my opinion is, let him have his way of teaching, even if it isn't what you consider to be the absolute truth. He doesn't go running around waving his opinions in people's faces on other threads, and has been polite and respectful enough to let people make up their mind and come to him for advice within his own thread here; which you know, not a lot of people do this - and I think it is the best method anyways. I am able to use both of your teachings and have grown a lot. I believe that love is the absolute Truth, but can use some of his teachings to get there as well. I have an intuitive understanding of where both of you are at - they are just different places on the same spectrum. We are all in this together.