AilinKyung

Self Help Gurus Vs Normal Psychologist

20 posts in this topic

 

Which one is better? Psychologist (hospital) or self-help book?

 

I overcame bulimia in a 1 year by reading lots of self-help books;

And other clients overcome it in 5 years by going to the hospital.

Is it really worth going to the hospital? Wasting my precious time and energy in a slow and long process (aka hospital)?

I recently went to the psychologist twice and she isn't solving my problems. It's frustrating talking to her. 

I can learn 10 times more in a book than going to the psychologist;

But the psychologist said that I MUST come to the hospital no matter what.

 

What do you recommend?

 

Edited by AilinKyung
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I guess it depends how bad it is. Do you need a push from the hospital or can you do it yourself 

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You already gave yourself the answer. Avoid therapists. Everything can be done at home. Read books, go out in the world to test what you read in said books, come home, introspect, rince and repeat.

Also, you musn't do jack shit. Tell her to fuck off.

 

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If you font build the connection with the psychologist there's no point. Find the one that you like. Dont forget psychologists are still humans 

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It depends but generally a real psychologist will always be better than poorly written self-help books, and masterpieces can bring more advantages sometimes than psychologists. It depends on your inner setting ;)

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I saw a psychologist once and she got all pissy with me and closed her business the very next day.

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Keep doing self-help regardless.  But you gotta do it, nobody can do your push-ups for you.  Go to the shrink too, why not?  

Edited by Joseph Maynor
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What you work on is what you improve.

 

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Don't judge therapists too fast. 

I've been doing a ton of personal development and spiritual practice on my own but I still have some unsolved anxieties and insecurities I have had since a long time. These are stuck in my psyche and having a therapist has been helping me a ton .

Don't underestimate how psychotherapists can help you with the psychological issues you have.

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You are not a drop in the ocean

You are the entire ocean in a drop

-Rumi

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I see it the way you would see regular doctors. Many physical diseases can be pretty much cured by just eating healthier food, sleeping better, avoiding stress, going out into nature more, drinking more water or eating specific things which act like medicine. You can read about all that and cure yourself at home. Problem is that there is a lot of conflicting and wrong information in the internet and books. If you had cancer, I wouldn't recommend curing it yourself (at least not exclusively) but going to a doctor who studied this shit and has experience with such cases. We should never underestimate people who put years into formally studying a certain subject.

If your doctor gives you drugs or some kind of advice that doesn't help however, and you can cure your disease on your own better than he can, I'd just suggest seeing another doctor. I think especially when it comes to psychologists, trust and a healthy, peaceful relationship between you and him are key. If he doesn't listen to what you're saying and says you must do this and that, go see another one.

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The internet can fix your problems. I am sure you can find someone that went through the same problem and has shared their experience on the youtubes.. you are free to try whatever you want and use and surround yourself with whatever works for you.

 

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hospitals are for emergencies.

besides those acute cases, full self-responsibility is one of the greatest things in Life.

4

presence for an empty mind
compassion for a light heart
Life is the highest art

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@AilinKyung Do both self-help and therapy. (But I don't know what you mean with "hospital", I just mean a regular therapist.)

Self-help is essential cos ultimately only you can help yourself, even if you go to the best therapist. And by being proactive about things, you can go forward and grow at your own rate, and get to places you wouldn't get to even in decades otherwise. Also it's good to being able to be fully independent as a foundation, before you get used to relying on outside help.

But therapy is also good because it can make you conscious of a lot of stuff it'd be difficult to figure out all on your own. It can be a good side help. But, of course it has to be a GOOD therapist. If you find it frustrating talking to her, that's a bad sign. It's gotta be someone you trust, someone you're totally comfortable talking with, someone unreactive, understanding and non-judgmental, and of course someone who is more present and conscious than you are. Otherwise what's the point? Don't believe the pessimists, yes there are bad therapists out there but there are also definitely good therapists out there. You just gotta search.

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There are surely great therapists out there but not all of them for sure. I personally did all the work with videos and audio, there was just 1 book i was reading for that purpose.
I think in the end the medium does not even matter. What is important is the will for change.

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@see_on_see @Max_V I really love your posts guys! I'm gonna listen to your advice!  Thanks for your great answers! :)

Edited by AilinKyung
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Some psychologists should probably read some self-help books to first help themselves before they help other people :D

But it depends I guess. There are excellent psychologists and crappy ones. And there are excellent self-help books and crappy ones.

None of them is better or worse perse.

It comes down to picking the right one for the right situation. 

For you self-help books helped to crue your bulimia but other people might need to see a good psychologist.

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a shore far away, clear the night - gazing into the infinite
the me dissolves, it fears - I cannot hold back my tears
an all-encompassing unity.

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@Shiva I was thinking; if those clients read self-help books, they would have instantly cured bulimia!

One of the reasons that I cure bulimia in a year was changing my mindset, my perspective; I change my way of thinking.

I read lots of nutrition book, self-esteem, self-love, self-acceptance, confidence, etc.

 

 

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It's also possible to use self-help books together with a therapist and have that as a foundation. In some books that's recommended.

It can be hard to find people who really are specialized in a specific subject, and not just some therapist that knows a little bit about everything, but lack a deeper understanding. Who wan't to go see someone session after session for years...

Nowadays you can have sessions with experts on the internet over skype. That's underestimated I think.
But it can also be more expensive.

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You can ask for more practical advice and therapy forms from your psychologist. You can also look up different therapy forms yourself if you're interested, the basics are quite easy to understand. Do both overall. You can always quit therapy once you feel like it's not working at all, but feel free to talk to the therapist about it first. Maybe they can switch it up or address or bring up your problems better.

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Although self help is the ultimate direction to go. Doing both a therapist and personal-development is the best route. The reason I say this is because you know yourself better than anyone else, and growing yourself is a great habit of responsibility, action, and flexibility. A therapist is good because they have a professional third-person perspective who can give you feedback on a different angle, and possibly catch any bullshit that you can't see yourself. Of course they aren't always right and may misinterpret your intentions. I personally do both and it works pretty well. :)

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Take your self-help books to the psychologist & ask questions based on what you found in the books.  That should help things along when he/she knows you're participating in your own rescue.

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