Am I Finally Ready To Let Go of Dating?

[Valach]

1 minute ago, something_else said:

I don’t entirely disagree. Asia in general has a lot of this to cater to western tourists, but it does also have some genuinely spiritual communities (and people) a bit more off the beaten track.

I don't doubt that

It's just that the really spiritual people I met here in Europe gave me the feeling that they would not really fit with the average "bali crowd".

[Lyubov]

I heard there are a ton of hot Russian girls in Bali 

[Olaf]

@Lyubov Besides the looks of russian girls, they seem to be very boring partners to me, like most russian girls I talk to are cold blooded, but Europeans and Russians have never been friends anyways. 

[Eskilon]

3 hours ago, something_else said:

Anyway, story of the girl I dated in Bali  Very relevant to this thread.

This is the hottest girl I’ve ever been with, like I said. Half Romanian / half Spanish, grew up in Spain. She had worked as a model back home. Guys would come up to me on the street and congratulate me when we were walking around together. It was bizarre. I’d never experienced anything like that before.

She used to talk to me in Spanish when we were fucking. Oh my god, so fucking hot. Memories…  

It’s such a shame how it turned out, but I’ll get to that in a sec.

She was a digital nomad there and absolutely looking for something long term, not casual. She wanted someone to travel the world with, and I was very open to that. For a while it seemed like it was going to happen.

She was super spiritual too. We did a ton of yoga together at a spiritual retreat there. Then we did sensory deprivation tanks together for the first time. Afterwards she told me about how her mind was filled with only two things during the experience, sex and the idea of death.

We then quite naturally had a very deep discussion  about ego death, spirituality and sexuality.

We were seeing each other regularly for around 6 weeks, it was absolutely amazing, and then…

It turned out she was a Nazi.

And I don’t mean in the moralistic “everyone vaguely right wing is a Nazi” sense. I mean literally.

At one point she suddenly asked me “would you ever date anybody who wasn’t white?” I said yes, of course, because I have.

Then she looked shocked and replied with “no, that’s awful, you need to preserve the white race”. I thought she was joking at first, but no, she was deadly serious.

She had already told me that she had grown up shitposting on 4chan throughout her teenage years, which I thought was funny at the time. Seriously. Like this is one of the hottest girls I’ve ever met and she was a 4chan shitposter  But in hindsight it made a lot of sense.

She then started working out of some cult mansion in Bali for a shitcoin pump-n-dump scheme. Truly bizarre and almost comical.

It’s amazing what your mind will do to rationalise staying with someone that hot even if they have values that directly conflict with yours. But I did (painfully) end things at that point because I just could not date someone with values like that no matter how hot and spiritual they were.

In the end I’m glad I had this experience because it kind of shattered the illusion of the “perfect hot girl”. Super hot girls are just people like the rest of us. They can be weird, irrational, flawed, interesting, deep, or even pretty fucked up. There’s no reason to put them on a pedestal just because they’re hot. Treat them like any other person you’ve ever met.

@something_else Damn bro, what a read lmao. Thanks for sharing this, it was insightful.

[Schizophonia]

3 hours ago, something_else said:

Bali is a weird place, it’s a mixing pot of a huge variety of people in a very small island. I prefer the surrounding islands like Lombok, but Bali is also cool.

It definitely isn’t the case that people are only there to hookup. There are plenty of digital nomads and remote workers there long term who actually want to date. I met many, and briefly dated one (hottest girl I’ve ever been with, story below 😂).

I also used dating apps a lot there and there was no shortage of girls with “long term” on their profile.

Honestly, it seems like for every potential solution you’re offered you have an over-generalised excuse for why it wouldn’t work. 

Try something out before you make your mind up instead of immediately shutting it down based on your ideas of what a place is like.

——

Anyway, story of the girl I dated in Bali  Very relevant to this thread.

This is the hottest girl I’ve ever been with, like I said. Half Romanian / half Spanish, grew up in Spain. She had worked as a model back home. Guys would come up to me on the street and congratulate me when we were walking around together. It was bizarre. I’d never experienced anything like that before.

She used to talk to me in Spanish when we were fucking. Oh my god, so fucking hot. Memories…  

It’s such a shame how it turned out, but I’ll get to that in a sec.

She was a digital nomad there and absolutely looking for something long term, not casual. She wanted someone to travel the world with, and I was very open to that. For a while it seemed like it was going to happen.

She was super spiritual too. We did a ton of yoga together at a spiritual retreat there. Then we did sensory deprivation tanks together for the first time. Afterwards she told me about how her mind was filled with only two things during the experience, sex and the idea of death.

We then quite naturally had a very deep discussion  about ego death, spirituality and sexuality.

We were seeing each other regularly for around 6 weeks, it was absolutely amazing, and then…

It turned out she was a Nazi.

And I don’t mean in the moralistic “everyone vaguely right wing is a Nazi” sense. I mean literally.

At one point she suddenly asked me “would you ever date anybody who wasn’t white?” I said yes, of course, because I have.

Then she looked shocked and replied with “no, that’s awful, you need to preserve the white race”. I thought she was joking at first, but no, she was deadly serious.

She had already told me that she had grown up shitposting on 4chan throughout her teenage years, which I thought was funny at the time. Seriously. Like this is one of the hottest girls I’ve ever met and she was a 4chan shitposter  But in hindsight it made a lot of sense.

She then started working out of some cult mansion in Bali for a shitcoin pump-n-dump scheme. Truly bizarre and almost comical.

It’s amazing what your mind will do to rationalise staying with someone that hot even if they have values that directly conflict with yours. But I did (painfully) end things at that point because I just could not date someone with values like that no matter how hot and spiritual they were.

In the end I’m glad I had this experience because it kind of shattered the illusion of the “perfect hot girl”. Super hot girls are just people like the rest of us. They can be weird, irrational, flawed, interesting, deep, or even pretty fucked up. There’s no reason to put them on a pedestal just because they’re hot. Treat them like any other person you’ve ever met.

Perfect girl 👺

[Lyubov]

4 hours ago, Olaf said:

@Lyubov Besides the looks of russian girls, they seem to be very boring partners to me, like most russian girls I talk to are cold blooded, but Europeans and Russians have never been friends anyways. 

Yeah they aren’t really warm at first and don’t really like dancing monkey vibes so if you’re like trying to be chummy with them they won’t open up and make much friendly small talk unless they see a reason to. 

[Ulax]

6 hours ago, something_else said:

Bali is a weird place, it’s a mixing pot of a huge variety of people in a very small island. I prefer the surrounding islands like Lombok, but Bali is also cool.

It definitely isn’t the case that people are only there to hookup. There are plenty of digital nomads and remote workers there long term who actually want to date. I met many, and briefly dated one (hottest girl I’ve ever been with, story below 😂).

I also used dating apps a lot there and there was no shortage of girls with “long term” on their profile.

Honestly, it seems like for every potential solution you’re offered you have an over-generalised excuse for why it wouldn’t work. 

Try something out before you make your mind up instead of immediately shutting it down based on your ideas of what a place is like.

——

Anyway, story of the girl I dated in Bali  Very relevant to this thread.

This is the hottest girl I’ve ever been with, like I said. Half Romanian / half Spanish, grew up in Spain. She had worked as a model back home. Guys would come up to me on the street and congratulate me when we were walking around together. It was bizarre. I’d never experienced anything like that before.

She used to talk to me in Spanish when we were fucking. Oh my god, so fucking hot. Memories…  

It’s such a shame how it turned out, but I’ll get to that in a sec.

She was a digital nomad there and absolutely looking for something long term, not casual. She wanted someone to travel the world with, and I was very open to that. For a while it seemed like it was going to happen.

She was super spiritual too. We did a ton of yoga together at a spiritual retreat there. Then we did sensory deprivation tanks together for the first time. Afterwards she told me about how her mind was filled with only two things during the experience, sex and the idea of death.

We then quite naturally had a very deep discussion  about ego death, spirituality and sexuality.

We were seeing each other regularly for around 6 weeks, it was absolutely amazing, and then…

It turned out she was a Nazi.

And I don’t mean in the moralistic “everyone vaguely right wing is a Nazi” sense. I mean literally.

At one point she suddenly asked me “would you ever date anybody who wasn’t white?” I said yes, of course, because I have.

Then she looked shocked and replied with “no, that’s awful, you need to preserve the white race”. I thought she was joking at first, but no, she was deadly serious.

She had already told me that she had grown up shitposting on 4chan throughout her teenage years, which I thought was funny at the time. Seriously. Like this is one of the hottest girls I’ve ever met and she was a 4chan shitposter  But in hindsight it made a lot of sense.

She then started working out of some cult mansion in Bali for a shitcoin pump-n-dump scheme. Truly bizarre and almost comical.

It’s amazing what your mind will do to rationalise staying with someone that hot even if they have values that directly conflict with yours. But I did (painfully) end things at that point because I just could not date someone with values like that no matter how hot and spiritual they were.

In the end I’m glad I had this experience because it kind of shattered the illusion of the “perfect hot girl”. Super hot girls are just people like the rest of us. They can be weird, irrational, flawed, interesting, deep, or even pretty fucked up. There’s no reason to put them on a pedestal just because they’re hot. Treat them like any other person you’ve ever met.

Lmao