Miguel1

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About Miguel1

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    Helsinki, Finland
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  1. Second this. Anyways it develops your character the most. And having the skills to make friends with complete strangers anywhere you go is a very valuable skills to have.
  2. I understand how you feel. I used to be very similar. I tried very hard. I tried 3 months of purely meditation and limited human contact. But eventually I had to come back. I then just came to accept it as necessity part of the adventure of human life, which includes the need for food, sleep etc. as well. I’m sure there are a rare few who can actually skip or limit socialization very much. But I would also argue that some people who supposedly ”dont need socialization at all / need just a bit”, are just very unskilled at it and it’s easier to accept it than go through the pain of learning the skill. And the same case was with me. I had periods where I was very against socialization but looking back, mostly it was simply because I didn’t know how to have fun, be charismatic and make friends. And so, perhaps if you also had a ton of fun (it’s a skill to let go of our seriousness, and tap into the fooling around part of ourselves - especially since we are so serious and logical on actualized), while socializing - maybe you would also enjoy it much more 😊
  3. Sure, of course. Feel free to talk with me privately if talking here feels too public.
  4. Seems like the root issue is that you are basing your self-worth completely on how well you do compared to others. This is the path to the deepest hell, when it comes to a good quality, happy life. I don't want to give further advice - other than get in touch with a professional - because being suicidal is a serious matter.
  5. You need to take the pressure off of you by approaching everyone in general. Don't be so judgemental as to who you are approaching. Approach the guys and the girls you don't find sexually attractive as well. Just be social and nice to them. This will build good social flow and momentum with which it is much easier to then go approach the girls you find attractive and want to have a more sexual interaction with.
  6. It's a matter of balance and finding the sweet spot. Being spoiled also stunts development.
  7. I change dramatically every year. I barely recognize myself looking back a year ago.
  8. What are you trying to say with this? That is great! Good to hear.
  9. Then you are doing things wrong Carry it only in the first minutes but then you gotta also know how to prompt and encourage them to engage back with you. My interactions usually ends up with them talking like 70% of the time or even 80%, after the initial phase of me carrying the convo. Also, there are some girls who simply are not interested and you gotta also know signs of these girls and stop wasting time with them.
  10. Second this. I have also gone out on and off for 10+ years, approached too many thousands of girls to count - all sober. I remember like one occasion I bought a drink for me and my cousin.
  11. I'm not denying that it would work. But there certainly is more risk at play vs just going out to meet girls outside your work. Especially if you are not yet very charming and skillful, you may end up doing some really uncalibrated stuff, which can get you into serious trouble with your income. When it comes to bars, working in bars is more sexual by default so it's more easier and natural to end up hooking up vs as a barber. ---- ... Wait a minute... I just realized that OP was about BARTENDER - and not BARBER. Silly me, sorry. English is not my first language. Hahaha I'm laughing at myself. --- Okay in that case it's probably a good idea, lol. Because it probably doesn't take nearly as much time to train to become a bartender vs a barber. The downside is that you don't have free nights to actually go out and approach girls and more importantly, practice the skill. All that being said, I still do think this should just be a temporary solution. 1. Your work and life purpose should not be optimized to get girls. 2. It's good for you to eventually learn how to Cold approach girls as a man, without being dependent on crutches.
  12. It's not so black and white. Mashlow's hierarcy of needs. Personally, I believe I am getting better results socially and dating wise, precisely because I have some sort of a connection to Presence and Source. But if you had told the young version of me to go hard into connecting with Source, he wouldnt have done it, simply because he had other things (dating) that were so much more interesting.
  13. Why don't you go out to the nightlife to meet girls instead? Sounds like a huge hassle to get a career just to meet girls. And just overall your work and life purpose should not be optimized to get girls... Also, there is the whole wisdom of not shitting you where you eat.
  14. 1. Dating coaches can only do so much. Most of the change must come from you. 2. For you to even be open-minded for dating coaches, you would have to do some quite painful acceptances of your own short-comings. It is much easier to keep blaming and complaining to get the cheap dopamine 3. A lot of dating coaches either teach unhealthy stuff and / or are untrustworthy.